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A How-Not-To Guide to Cyber-Extortion

TexasDex writes "The Register reports: Myron Tereshchuk, 42, of Maryland, pleaded guilty to "attempted extortion affecting commerce" for sending threatening messages to a competing patent firm, including a demand for $17 million in exchange for not revealing sensitive information. He was clever in hiding his tracks, the messages came from two different homes and a dentist's office, all of which turned out to be running unsecured WAPs. He also avoided a web bug sent by the firm, and managed to penetrate the company's computer system. But he made a few mistakes. First of all he was already a prime suspect due to "past altercations between Tereshchuk and the company". But "the clearest sign came when he issued the $17m extortion demand, and instructed the company to 'make the check payable to Myron Tereshchuk.'""

26 of 311 comments (clear)

  1. Darwinian criminal behaviour ... by Space+cowboy · · Score: 4, Funny


    There's a TV show broadcast over here in the UK (on some of the cable channels) "America's Dumbest Criminals" - guess this guy'll be on soon enough. I have to admit I thought a lot of the stories were made up, but if people are going to sign their REAL NAME to an extortion demand, sheesh, perhaps people *can* be that stupid.

    Well, on the up-side, it at least frees the cops' time up so they can catch criminals with at least 1 brain cell. Let's hope the feedback loop stays negative...

    Simon.

    --
    Physicists get Hadrons!
    1. Re:Darwinian criminal behaviour ... by betelgeuse-4 · · Score: 4, Funny

      There's always the guy who robbed a Post Office wearing a motorbike helmet with a black visor. Unfortunately for him it failed to hide his identity because his name was written across the forehead.

    2. Re:Darwinian criminal behaviour ... by Zorilla · · Score: 5, Funny

      What about the guy who robbed the convenience store and the clerk lady says, "I don't think you look old enough to be robbing a store, young man. I need to see some identification."

      So the guy pulls out his driver's license and shows it to her. Haha.

      --

      It would be cool if it didn't suck.
    3. Re:Darwinian criminal behaviour ... by TheLink · · Score: 4, Funny

      Try this Darwin Award nominee.

      Wrong time, wrong place, wrong everything...

      --
  2. I request all my extortion checks... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    ...be made out to Amanda Huginkiss.

  3. Almost as smart... by Amiga+Lover · · Score: 5, Funny

    the clearest sign came when he issued the $17m extortion demand, and instructed the company to 'make the check payable to Myron Tereshchuk.

    Almost as smart as this guy - "A man who walked into a Wal-Mart covered in blood and bought garbage bags Friday was charged with murder after authorities found a stabbed body in a trash bin."

    Planning people, planning!

  4. I will crapflood slashdot by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    with various posts about CowboyNeal unless /. writes a check, payable to Rob Malda, for $1 million.
    Beware!

  5. Rookie mistake by eln · · Score: 5, Funny

    To eliminate himself from suspicion, he should have told them to make the check out to "anybody but Myron Tereshchuk". They would then have everyone in the world BUT him as potential suspects! Brilliant!

  6. Why criminals seem dumb by John+Jorsett · · Score: 4, Funny

    If someone's a REAL master criminal, then he doesn't get caught and you never hear about him. Therefore, the only criminals you hear about are the dumb ones who get caught. Or at least that's my theory. Seems worthy of a $100 million research grant. (And there you have my template for becoming a master criminal. Enjoy.)

  7. Re:You'll never hear about the smart criminals. by Michael_Burton · · Score: 4, Funny

    I thought the smart criminals became successful politicians. They may not get caught, but unfortunately I hear about 'em all the time.

    --
    When all you have is an axe, everything looks like a grindstone.
  8. A good idea... by Bull999999 · · Score: 1, Funny

    We should try the same scheme, but tell them to make the check payable to Darl McBride or Bill Gates.

    --
    1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
  9. Make check payable to Myron Tereshchuk by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Uh, shouldn't that be Moron Tereshchuk?

  10. Obligatory Family Guy Quote by Zorilla · · Score: 3, Funny

    This guy doesn't sound much better in a pinch than Peter Griffin:

    Psych ward clerk: "What's your name, sir?"
    Peter: "Umm.....Pee.....ter.............Griffin.....damn! "

    Bonus Simpsons quote:
    Homer at Post Office (trying to disguise voice): "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me"
    Post Office employee: "Ok, what's your first name?"
    Homer (smugly): "I don't know!

    --

    It would be cool if it didn't suck.
  11. Obligatory Simpsons reference.. by murderlegendre · · Score: 1, Funny

    "You're Myron? But I'm Myron!!

    "So, is this what it sounds like.. when doves cry?" (hugs)

    --
    There's a Starman, waiting in the sky / He'd like to come and meet us, but he hasn't got the time.
  12. Re:Let's get this over with by macthulhu · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Jack Hoff"... That takes me back. There was a local cop in my home town whose last name was Knouff. In his off duty time, he was a heavy drug user and mall cop, in that order. In junior high, we always called him Jack. Being sort of a failed body builder/wannabe stud/ scumbag type, he was usually hitting on high school girls who would then laugh at him and continue teasing him after we left. After a while, there must have been hundreds of kids doing this to him. Years later, I heard he had some kind of meltdown drunk and on duty at the mall where he beat the crap out of a 15 year old. Turns out his real name was Ralph, which I'm not sure was really any better. I wonder whatever happened to old Officer Jack Knouff? Now that it I'm thinking of it, the police chief here was named Richard Reems... I'm starting to think my hometown was run by the cast of a gay porn movie...

    --

    Someday a real rain is gonna come...

  13. As my friend Kuni would say... by penginkun · · Score: 2, Funny

    Stupid! You're so STUUUPID!

    --
    Next up on Wheel of Fish....

  14. ...but I know that you know that I know... by Jonathan+Quince · · Score: 5, Funny
    To eliminate himself from suspicion, he should have told them to make the check out to "anybody but Myron Tereshchuk".

    pffft. Amateur.

    Everybody knows that only an idiot would ask for the check out to himself; so he could use that as an alibi, since nobody would believe that it was him.

    Of course, a truly smart criminal would know that a smart investigator would realize that most people know that you shouldn't ask for the check to be written out to your own real name; so he should not have the check written to his own name. But naturally, a well-trained detective would recommend that possibility and immediately discount the possiblity that the name he demanded to be written on the check was his own name; so he should have used his own name.

    But the company he was blackmailing was located in Connecticut, which is kind of like a miniature Australia; and everybody knows that Australia is populated by criminals...

    (Ow, I think my head hurts now.)

    --
    Microsoft Windows is, fittingly, the official Desktop OS of Olig
    1. Re:...but I know that you know that I know... by schon · · Score: 2, Funny

      Of course, a truly smart criminal would know that a smart investigator would realize that most people know that you shouldn't ask for the check to be written out to your own real name; so he should not have the check written to his own name. But naturally, a well-trained detective would recommend that possibility and immediately discount the possiblity that the name he demanded to be written on the check was his own name; so he should have used his own name.

      Truly, you have a dazzling intellect. :o)

    2. Re:...but I know that you know that I know... by nacturation · · Score: 2, Funny

      (Ow, I think my head hurts now.)

      Must be the iocaine.

      --
      Want to improve your Karma? Instead of "Post Anonymously", try the "Post Humously" option.
    3. Re:...but I know that you know that I know... by Paleomacus · · Score: 2, Funny

      Inconceivable!

  15. The biggest criminals... by infolib · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...never break the law. They write it.

    --
    Any sufficiently advanced libertarian utopia is indistinguishable from government.
  16. he must have been reading from SCOs manuals by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    he must have been reading from SCOs manuals on how to extort people....

  17. Another stupid criminal by www.sorehands.com · · Score: 3, Funny
    The guy who tried to carjack a van with judo students in it. He got 11 years.

    here .

  18. Hey, it really works! by famazza · · Score: 2, Funny
    • and the guy who rubbed fresh lemons on his face before robbing a bank because someone told him that if you did that, the cameras could not pick up your image. True story according to "news of the weird", a syndicated feature found in many independent newspapers here in the US. They have stories like this all the time.

    Hey, that really works. I've robbed a bank last friday and no cops here yet.

    ... Wait a second, there's somebody knocking my door...

    --

    -=-=-=-=
    I know life isn't fair, but why can't it ever be un-fair in MY favor!?
  19. Re:Let's get this over with by klafhat · · Score: 1, Funny

    Jack Hoff...

    How is that name pronounced? Please enlighten me. Do you prononce the H in the last name?

    --

    Tell me more, tell me more

  20. my cousin by ReidMaynard · · Score: 2, Funny

    my cousin is a stupid criminal. He was arrested as the driver in a get away car [armed robery, Las Vegas] He tried to tell the Judge, "Hey, I was just hitchhiking and these guys picked me up."

    I am consouled by the fact we were both adopted, from different families.

    he gets out in Spring of 2006 and wants to move near me

    --
    -- www.globaltics.net

    Political discussion for a new world