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70% Of 2004 Virus Activity Down To One Man

Posted by timothy on from the his-parents-must-be-awfully-proud dept.

arpy writes "According to a report produced by anti-virus software provider Sophos, 70% of anti-virus activity in the first half of this year can be blamed on Sven Jaschan, an 18-year-old German who wrote the Netsky and Sasser worms. According to the report, "Sasser claimed the top spot of the virus chart, in spite of the raging battle between the widespread Netsky and Bagle worms." The Register has a good summary of the report."

21 of 452 comments (clear)

  1. Are you sure its Sven Jaschan? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    I could of sworn it was Bill Gates..

    1. Re:Are you sure its Sven Jaschan? by hummassa · · Score: 5, Funny

      Of this was about Bill Gates, the headline would be "99.9% of 2004 virus activity down to one man" :-)

      --
      It's better to be the foot on the boot than the face on the pavement. ~~ tkx Kadin2048
  2. In the words of "Pace Picante Sauce" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Get a rope.... (raspy cowboy gunslingin' voice)

  3. Also... by Black+Parrot · · Score: 3, Funny


    > The Register has a good summary of the report.

    70% of slashdottings were caused by Slashdot.

    --
    Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
    1. Re:Also... by gildesh · · Score: 5, Funny

      No, 100% of slashdottings were caused by slashdot.

      Where in the world are you getting your math from?

    2. Re:Also... by preposterity · · Score: 5, Funny

      Speaking of dodgy maths, before my School Certificate (an exam all high school students do in year 10 in Australia), we did some sample questions.

      One of the question had a point with multiple lines coming out of it. The question asked you to measure each angle and to write down the sum of the angles. (Hint: 360deg)

      What was the "official" answer according to the answer sheet published by the Board of Studies? They would have accepted angles between 355 and 365 degrees.

    3. Re: Also... by Black+Parrot · · Score: 5, Funny


      > an exam all high school students do in year 10 in Australia

      Here in the USA, most of us finish high school within 6 or 7 years.

      --
      Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
  4. Strange coincidence by leathered · · Score: 5, Funny

    70% of virus infections in my neighbourhood are caused by just one woman.

    --
    For all intensive porpoises your a bunch of rediculous loosers
    1. Re:Strange coincidence by b374 · · Score: 4, Funny
      70% of virus infections in my neighbourhood are caused by just one woman.
      I heard the reason is that one can open her ports in promiscuous mode...
  5. Re:Kill Him! by KingDaveRa · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'm sure there are plenty of helpdesk personnel, network administrators, and "computer guy" friends who would like to punch that guy in the mouth.

    Not really. He keeps people like me in a job.

  6. Re:Kill Him! by 91degrees · · Score: 5, Funny

    That would be painful to watch.

    There's nothing more pathetic than a bunch of nrds trying to throw a punch.

  7. Choice quote by TheFairElf · · Score: 5, Funny

    "The computer worm he created continues to spread despite the fact that their creator has been taken out of the equation."
    duh!

    1. Re:Choice quote by dfj225 · · Score: 4, Funny

      And all this time I thought people who wrote worms had to sit there and manually enter IP address for the worm to attack next!

      --
      SIGFAULT
  8. As a self-appointed representative of ... by burgburgburg · · Score: 3, Funny
    the top virii writers of the world, we strongly dispute the figures underlying this study. Jaschan, who, by the way, is not certified, has released virii that make up 70% of the recognizable infections. However, the truly top infections released this year have been stealth mutating virii that, to this day, own over 62.7% of the world's Windows computers (including an impressive 71.9% of the Pentagon's Windows laptops). When SP2 is released, they will SPRING into action, finally and gloriously proclaiming their true intent: to get Yahoo Serious a write-in Academy Award. Doesn't have to be for acting. Writing will do.

    I, for one, welcome my Yahoo Serious Overlord.

  9. His mother must be so proud! by WolfWithoutAClause · · Score: 4, Funny
    The envy of all the coffee mornings.

    "So what does your son do?"

    "He's in prison after writing the worlds most successful computer viruses. Ouch! Don't hit me! Ouch! Stoppp!

    --

    -WolfWithoutAClause

    "Gravity is only a theory, not a fact!"
  10. Odd by transient · · Score: 3, Funny

    Coincidentally, 70% of my voicemail messages are Sophos salespeople. Andrew, if you're reading this: for the love of God, STOP CALLING ME!!!

    --

    irb(main):001:0>
  11. Re:Kill Him! by pvt_medic · · Score: 4, Funny

    or maybe there is good still in him and we can sway him back to the good side of the force

    --
    30% Troll, 50% Underrated, 10% Interesting
    Score:5, Troll
  12. Re: Can you say... by Black+Parrot · · Score: 4, Funny


    > Should I put on my tinfoil hat now?

    Yes, it improves our reception.

    --
    Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
  13. Re:In other news... by Lumica · · Score: 4, Funny

    Hey, it ain't MS fault one can't even write a decent virus on Linux :*) It ain't that easy to spread a virus when everyone you want to infect needs to grab the sources of the virus, compile them, then needs to update a few libs, which will only run with a new kernel, this in turn needs update of [...and so on...]. No virus kid^H^H^Hwriter is up to that challenge, especially since there will be near to no hope getting into the antivir highscore's with this.

  14. Wow! Congrats, Sven! by switcha · · Score: 3, Funny

    What an honor! I'd like to send to a congratulations gift. What's your email?

    --
    You know what? ... A little club soda *did* get that out!
  15. It gets worse... by duck_prime · · Score: 3, Funny

    70% of virus infections in my neighbourhood
    are caused by just one woman.

    I heard the reason is that one can open her ports
    in promiscuous mode...

    Yeah, if you want some fast physical I/O and you
    have insufficient cache, just ... buffer.