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The Last Starfighter--The Musical!

nomadic writes "Yes, seriously. Some people have decided to remake everyone's favorite obscure 1980's Star Wars ripoff into musical form. Definitely sounds like a Troy McClure role..."

37 of 345 comments (clear)

  1. Troy! by mfh · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such other nature films as "Earwigs, Ew." and "Man Vs Nature... The Road To Victory".

    Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such other medical films as "Mommy, What's On That Man's Face?" and "Alice Doesn't Live Anymore".

    Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such self-help videos as "Smoke Yourself Thin", and "Get Confident, Stupid.".

    Welcome to the Knowledgeum, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such automated information kiosks as "Welcome to Springfield Airport" and "Where's Nordstrom?" While you're enjoying our Hall of Wonders, your car unfortunately will be subject to repeated break-ins and... [Fades]

    Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational films as "Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun" and "Firecrackers: The Silent Killer".

    I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such TV series as "Buck Henderson, Union Buster" and "Troy and Company's Summertime Smile Factory". Today I'm here to tell you about "Spiffy.", the 21st century stain remover. Let's meet the inventor, Dr. Nick Riviera.


    etc...

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    1. Re:Troy! by Epistax · · Score: 4, Funny

      I was thinking of..

      Chimpanzee 1: Help! The human's about to escape. Troy: Get your paws off me, you dirty ape!
      Chimpanzee 2: (gasp) He can talk!
      Orangutans: He can talk! He can talk! He can talk!
      He can talk! He can talk! He can talk!
      Troy: And I can siiiiiiiiiiing!

      Chimp Nurse: Oooh! Help me, Dr. Zaius! Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      O, Dr. Zaius!
      Orangutan 1: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      Troy: What's wrong with me?
      Dr. Zaius: I think you're crazy.
      Troy: I want a second opinion.
      Dr. Zaius: You're also lazy.

      Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      O, Dr. Zaius!
      Orangutan 1: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

      Troy: Can I play the piano any more?
      Dr. Zaius: Of course you can!
      Troy: Well I couldn't before.
      (plays piano)

      Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!


      Troy: I hate every ape I see,
      From chimpan-A to chimpanzee,
      No, you'll never make a monkey out of me!

      (Statue of Liberty rises)

      O my God! I was wrong!
      It was Earth, all along!
      You've finally made a monkey,
      Apes: Yes we've finally made a monkey,
      Troy: Yes you've
      & Apes: finally made a monkey out of me!

      Troy: I love you, Dr. Zaius

    2. Re:Troy! by FuzzyBad-Mofo · · Score: 5, Funny

      Ooh, I love legitimate theater!

  2. Like Alex Rogan's mobile home... by thewiz · · Score: 3, Funny

    This play won't go anywhere either.

    --
    If "disco" means "I learn" in Latin, does "discothèque" mean "I learn technology"?
    1. Re:Like Alex Rogan's mobile home... by Wylfing · · Score: 1, Funny
      You see, what's wrong with this is that you can remember his name.

      Wait, what's really really wrong with this is that I can remember his girlfriend's name.

      --
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    2. Re:Like Alex Rogan's mobile home... by Twirlip+of+the+Mists · · Score: 3, Funny

      Mags. And his little brother was named Louis. And the old guy was named Otis. And his Saturday was ruined because Granny's electric went out again. He had to stay and fix it instead of going to Toshi Station to pick up some power converters. Or something.

      --

      I write in my journal
  3. I think I'll pass, or... by Weaselmancer · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...just have my beta unit go watch it, and tell me about it later.

    --
    Weaselmancer
    rediculous.
  4. Phil Hartman by xombo · · Score: 2, Funny

    Let Phil Hartman live in peace, Jesus Christ. We can only ressurect him from the dead every so-often for obscure roles!!! He's still recovering from News Radio.

  5. Well... by MaxwellX22 · · Score: 1, Funny

    Hopefully they won't follow it up with The Holiday Special on Ice...I can just see Wookies skating now...

  6. More Proof... by JenovaSynthesis · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...that there is no God.

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    1. Re:More Proof... by irokitt · · Score: 2, Funny

      Actually, the Babel Fish solved that one quite nicely.

      --
      If my answers frighten you, stop asking scary questions.
  7. Hmmm... by capz+loc · · Score: 2, Funny

    I smell a Tony...

    1. Re:Hmmm... by jalefkowit · · Score: 2, Funny

      ... Danza...

  8. Re:Ripoff? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny
    you meant to say:

    I liked that movie you insensitive clod!

  9. ...Wow... by Pantero+Blanco · · Score: 4, Funny

    I thought the Simpsons episode that had the Musical Planet of the Apes was just hyperbolic satire.

    I guess I was wrong...

  10. On learning of the musical... by PDHoss · · Score: 5, Funny


    Storm theatre serious artist #1: Damage report!

    Storm theatre serious artist #2: Our credibility is shot! Our theatre is a laughing stock! What do we do now?

    [dramatic pause]

    Storm theatre serious artist #1: We die.

    --
    ======================================
    Writers get in shape by pumping irony.
    1. Re:On learning of the musical... by chrisd · · Score: 1, Funny

      Replace dramatic pause with that whining sound of the glass thing sliding in front of his eye. Much cooler :-)

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      Open Source Program Manager, Google, Inc.
  11. what about... by zrobotics · · Score: 2, Funny

    spaceballs, the musical!

    i can see it now, opening night, the helmets glistening under the lights. ahhh...

    i predict it will come out the same year as history of the world, part II

  12. "Definitely sounds like a Troy Mclure role" by Nathdot · · Score: 3, Funny

    Who knows; maybe it sounds like a Wil Wheaton role :)

    1. Re:"Definitely sounds like a Troy Mclure role" by 10Ghz · · Score: 4, Funny
      Although Wil Wheaton's scenes were cut, but his name still appears in the end credits.


      His part was cut?!?!??! I saw his name in the end-credits, and I watch the movie several tiems trying to find him! And now, years later, I find out that his part was in fact cut!

      And all these years I thought I was blind and/or idiot for not finding him! Damn you all! Damn you to hell!
      --
      Lesbian Nazi Hookers Abducted by UFOs and Forced Into Weight Loss Programs - -all next week on Town Talk.
  13. To Paraphrase The Movie by BRock97 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Me: "Oh no, we can't get tickets! What do we do?"

    ***Eye piece swings over friend's eye***

    My Friend: "We die."

    --

    Bryan R.
    The price of freedom is eternal vigilance, or $12.50 as seen on eBay.....
  14. Last Starfighter Star Wars by humankind · · Score: 4, Funny

    At least they didn't beat the Last Starfighter into a bloody, over-merchandized pulp with ever-increasingly mediocre sequels. As a result, the Last Starfighter is singularly better than all the Star Wars movies combined.

  15. Re:Ripoff by kgbspy · · Score: 5, Funny

    Centauri shoots first.

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  16. Re:Star Wars ripoff? by MeAtHereDotCom · · Score: 2, Funny

    Aka, the Bible. Or any other sci-fi.

  17. Re:Ripoff by kfg · · Score: 1, Funny

    Damned if I know. Star Wars is obviously a rip off of the Robin Hood ballads, whereas the The Last Starfighter was obviously a rip off of the Chansons de Geste.

    KFG

  18. Hey! by fritter · · Score: 3, Funny

    Mostly I'm pissed the submitter pointed out it was a Star Wars ripoff, because I never caught on to that when I was a little kid, and now that he mentions it it's really blatant. :)

    But I still think this is a fun movie to catch on TV. I mean, yeah, it's really cheesy, but does this deserve the Road House treatment? It probably has the best "lizard guy in human mask gives stirring speech to guy from trailer park that's secretly a great space pilot" scene I've seen, although the one in The Wedding Planner comes pretty close.

    Oh, man. Now that I think about it... the second-in-command lizard guy whose eyepiece thing closes after every line he has? The scene with all the Gunstar pilots that's a direct, totally unapologetic ripoff of the Death Star briefing in Star Wars? That half-bald badguy leader that practically breaks a tooth chewing so much scenery? Aaaaugh! You're killing my childhood, Slashdot!

    (As a sidenote, I always thought somebody should make a Last Starfighter videogame today, on the latest 3d hardware, that exactly mimcs the really stylized CGI from the movie. Say what you will, those scenes still look cool.)

    1. Re:Hey! by cpt+kangarooski · · Score: 1, Funny

      The recent Tron game was pretty good, so you might be on to something there.

      Hm. How about The Last Starfighter: The Musical: The Game. Some levels might be like space combat, while others are like DDR or Parappa or something.

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    2. Re:Hey! by hai.uchida · · Score: 2, Funny

      But I still think this is a fun movie to catch on TV. I mean, yeah, it's really cheesy, but does this deserve the Road House treatment?

      Certainly not. I guarantee there is no line in The Last Starfighter as disturbing as Swayze's rival delivers before their big showdown... "I used to fuck guys like you in prison!"

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  19. Debbie Does Dallas - The Play by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    If you think thats wierd, how about this:
    http://www.offoffoff.com/theater/2001/debbiedoesda llas.php3

  20. Re:Ripoff? by orthogonal · · Score: 5, Funny
    I liked that movie!

    Me too.

    It was a decent movie, but what really brings back the memories is that...

    ...I got my first kiss ever after watching a replay of it...

    ...at a science fiction convention...

    ...while dressed as a "medieval" priest...

    ...from a girl I'd met the day before by going up to her and "blessing" her.

    Yes, I am an unrepentant geek.

    That was, what, some nineteen years ago.
    And as an unrepentant geek, I hope one day to get my second kiss. ;)


    In all seriousness though, Sandi Lynn E., here's to you, wherever you are after all these years.

  21. Evil Dead: The Musical by Griim · · Score: 4, Funny

    I thought I would take this moment to mention a play that was here in Toronto last year called Evil Dead: The Musical.

    I am not one for musicals. But this was godamn funny. With such musical numbers as What The Fuck Was That? and (All Of The Men In My Life Keep Getting Killed By) Candarian Demons, you really can't go wrong.

    I hope to see it again.

  22. Spoiler alert? by roesti · · Score: 1, Funny
    Gee, thanks for spoiling the end of the movie for me, guys. Sheesh.

    Oh, wait. That spoiler is on the DVD cover as well. Never mind.

    1. Re:Spoiler alert? by Bullet-Dodger · · Score: 2, Funny

      Wait a minute... Statue of Liberty... THAT WAS OUT PLANET! You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!

  23. Imagine it was tough to write by jalefkowit · · Score: 1, Funny

    What rhymes with "Ko-Dan Armada"?

  24. Re:Ripoff? by FurryFeet · · Score: 2, Funny

    Now you've done it.
    Coming into Slashdot to brag about how big of a geek you are... geez, it's like walking into a biker's bar screaming about how you're the toughest guy around.
    I expect the barrage of geeky, each-more-pathetic-than-the-previous stories to start about... now.
    Let the fun begin.

  25. Re:I watched it 5 times in a month! :-P by FurryFeet · · Score: 2, Funny

    Some elements were kinda unrealistic

    You, sir, are the undisputed lord and master of understatement.
    Or you live in a different world. I can't really tell from here.

  26. Re:Ripoff? by Austerity+Empowers · · Score: 2, Funny

    Bah that's nothin', back when I was a young geek we didn't have "kisses", we had a wet toilet plunger and we LIKD IT! We had to...

    Oh never mind, I don't think anyone wants to know more about unrepentant geeks.