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Chimp Can Hack Diebold Electronic Voting System
rbuysse writes "A million monkeys can write Shakespeare, but it only takes one to mess up an election. Scoop here." Blackboxvoting is behind this demonstration; there's also a lengthy thread on the Bugtraq mailing list.
"I can not bring myself to believe that if knowledge presents danger, the solution is ignorance" - Isaac Asimov
Is that chimp one of the Diebold engineers?
This is interesting, but why would George W. want to do such a thing?
Disconnect and self-destruct, one bullet at a time.
A new denial of service attack is spreading through the wild. It involves hurling feces...
Hey now, is that any way to talk about our beloved president? Besides, we won't know until election day whether that's true.
Electric Monkey Pants
A million monkeys can write Shakespeare, but it only takes one to mess up an election.
I'm a proud Bush voter, You insensitive clod!
Sigs are for the weak.
Final_Results.Mdb
Look for this attatchment on the Electoral College's Outlook Express inbox.
If you think
That's why the liberal media, like Fox, is reporting on it.
PS...that's not just an ordinary Chimp.
Here is an action photo of the actual hack.
If you think
I've never seen the president use a computer before. You know, since he clearly doesn't write his own speeches.
Comment removed based on user account deletion
"saves vote totals in Microsoft Access"
Hey, at least its accurate advertising
"State elections officials also said Wednesday that they are confident they can protect the system from a decidedly lower-tech threat.
:P
Elections administrator Linda Lamone said" that monkeys will be prevented from accessing the machines during the elections.....
The good thing is that even though a monkey can hack the system this still puts the hack out of the reach of the average Republican ;)
The big deal is that Baxter (the chimp) is a proud Linux hacker, and had previously refused to touch any machine with MS software.
You are being MICROattacked, from various angles, in a SOFT manner.
But I guess Chimp hacks Access Database isn't really news.
I clicked on the monkey story, I wouldn't have clicked on any of the others except for the one that says "Turkey", then I would realize it isn't about the yummy bird and close it.
If I wanted to be up-to-date on the war on terrorism, Irak or whatever I would watch CNN, but I want to know about Monkeys so I read Slashdot.
My humble suggestion, stop submitting political stories and start looking for monkey stories. A turkey story would be nice too.
Obligatory monkey story:
I like Monkeys
The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece.
I thought this was odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth so I bought 200 of them. I like monkeys.
I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. I laughed. They punched me in the genitals. I stopped laughing.
I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into it's third hour. Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive; they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sort of dropped dead. Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. God damn cheap monkeys.
I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room; on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry monkeys.
I tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and I didn't want to call a plumber. I was embarrassed. I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortuantely there was only enough room for two at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't go bad.
I tried to burn them, but little did I know that my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and one hundred ninety-seven dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed.
The odor wasn't improving. I became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and I really had to use the bathroom. So I went and severely beat one of the monkeys. I felt better.
I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him I had a wet one. He couldn't take it either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't quite know what to say. They pretended to like them, but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.
I like monkeys.
(DISCLAIMER: I am not the author of this story.)
--- I w00t, therefore I'm l33t.
beowulf cluster of chimps could do.
We can read a simple ballot, for one.
I think we've found the culprit
Click here or a puppy gets stomped!
Why would someone try to do ANYTHING secure with a database engine based on JET... Even personal projects I write, and small business systems are based in SQL Server.
The mere thought of trying to store such important data in an unencypted manner gives me a headache.
One must wonder what the GEMS architenct was thinking using such a ubiquitous data store as MS Access. Honestly, my company will not even seriously consider an application for use if it is based on Access, or even stores it's data unsecured in an MS Access database.
While there are methods for "securing" an Access database, they are based on JET's user system, which itself is not all that secure in the first place.
Might I suggest they rewrite the database core to SQL Server. There would not need to be that many changes to the source code if there are using standard ADO or ADO.Net code. One can quickly create an encrypted database using a statement something like this: Create Database "secure.sdf" databasepassword '' encryption on
Being that this data has the potential for selecting the countries next Presidient, the data should be:
Encrypted
Secured with Multiple Levels of Authentication
Passed on a network invulnerable to snooping (fiber comes to mind here)
Encrypted between the client and server
Coding my way to the next BSOD!
It's like a monitor, except it's a lot cheaper, the resolution sucks, and you can't read Slashdot. All it does is show crappy Real Video type stuff all day. Worse, it's mostly advertisements, and when there's not an ad, people in the programs often talk about or use products anyway, which is basically another form of advertising. On the plus side, I heard companies like Sony and Nintendo sell boxes that you can hook up to a tv screen and play video games. These boxes will also let you watch Star Wars or Lord of the Rings or other DVDs on your tv screen too. Yes the resolution sucks, but the main advantage of watching a movie on a TV screen is that you can get a huge TV screen (42 inches let's say) for a lot less money than what you'd pay for the same size monitor. It's a tradeoff.
Hear recorded Slashdot headlines on your phone! New service beta testing. Just call (248) 434-5508
I have one idea to plant in the hacker mind:
Is this an election or a slashdot poll? Who cares? We need the "CowboyNeal" option. and since it won't get on the ballot by election time, but we know that everyone would vote for CN, given the chance, let's just reset their votes. CowboyNeal for pres!
Returned Peace Corps IT Volunteer
I mean, really. They practically have a button that says "Press to Hack Election."
I would rather be killed by a terrorist than enslaved by my government.
"Hacked by chimpanzees"
....all the Rs and Ds get in a war with each other and bump themselves off.......
I'm trying.....grunt... groan...sweat..... can't do it!
I just can't figger out anything wrong with that.
%^)
... and an infinite amount of time that could create a Shakespearean work.
Don't think that a small group of dedicated individuals can't change the world. It's the only thing that ever has.
but can George W Bush?
This comment does not represent the views or opinions of the user.
The pet store was selling them for 5 cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand $$ each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.
I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.
I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.
Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead. Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys.
I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.
I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.
I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.
I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.
I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.
I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving.
I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.
I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.
"1. Citizen. Before w ZgJ 8GPxwFnwvG&iX4tKfo("2ny!3Pp..."
I bet the rest of that is just Danish l33t speak or something...
In the free world the media isn't government run; the government is media run.
That's all right then; it should be fairly easy to spot a suspicious-looking chimp near a polling station.
When asked about the chimp hacking their voting machine a Diebold spokesman shrieked loudly, barred his teeth and threw feces at the offending reporters.
That's our life, the big wheel of shit. - The Fat Man, Blue Tango Salvage
From the article ...
..."
" He demonstrated how to change vote totals with a six-line program in Microsoft notepad
Is that the programming language for tablet pc's?
--
Assistant: Maybe we should finally tell them the big secret: that all the chimps we sent into space came back super-intelligent.
Chimp: No, I don't think we'll be telling them _that_.
[Roller skates away, making monkey noises]
Call me old fashioned, but I like a dump to be as memorable as it is devastating - Bender
WTF is an ass government? Your bizarre political ideas would probably find much appreciation here in San Francisco, feel free to come out.
Literalism isn't a form of humor, it's you being irritating.
Well, if the chimp was an employee of Primate Programming, Inc., that wouldn't surprise me.
So move out.
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Buh bye now, have a nice life. Don't let the door hitcha on the ass on the way through.
Before you go off on another long winded an totally inane rant you may want to check out what is REALLY going on in the world and who is REALLY shoving religion down other peoples throats.
http://www.newsmax.com/archives/articles/2004/1
Yeah, it's Newsmax but it won't kill you to read it.