Slashdot Mirror
Upgrade Your Dog
ptorrone writes "Engadget has glimpse in to the future, a future where your dog has a cell phone, webcam and electronic tag, and maybe even talks to you. Maybe. Some of this dog-tech isn't available yet, and some of it is (in Japan, of course). The overview includes some interesting iterations of pet technology, and they even made their own version of a dog webcam along with the first ever canine photographer's photo gallery." I'd rather see more of these things applied to infants.
...Yellow Dog Linux, maybe?
Of course, every few years, when you upgrade your dog, you can use some parts from your previous dog, and sell the rest on ebay.
"Come on, let's go drink till we can't feel feelings anymore."
I like dogs because they're lovable, cute, loyal, and a pleasure to be around. Not because they're functional. Those Japanese will never learn...
My dog already seems to be fairly well equipped...
Oops, I promised the producer I wouldn't say anything.
The University of Georgia has been putting a camera on their mascot an english bulldog named UGA (pronounced UH-GUH)for years and broadcasting it up on their Jumbotron
Can they implant something that house trains my puppy? Two weeks now and he still shits and pisses on my computer...
---
Programming is like sex... Make one mistake and support it the rest of your life.
...in Holy Fire by Bruce Sterling? One of the dogs in that book even had a talk show, it's support electronics were so advanced.
Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
I'd rather see more of these things applied to infants.
Let us know how it works out.
maybe even talks to you.
Thet do that normally after a while. Be patient.
As a parent, I can honestly say that I would NEVER EVER put an electronic leash on my 3month old. Who are these paranoid fuckwad parents who are lining up to chip their pets and unwilling children in the name perceived orwellian safety?
It's they who are to blame for the starting the slide down the slippery slope. "Oh, but this RFID comes with a cute camera and a crude baby-to-human universal translator! ahhh! how cute! and SAFE too!" Die you braindead soccermom fucks. Get some personal responsibility and learn to live with the fact that shit happens despite your best efforts to nerf the world.
I always wanted to attach my GPS to my dog just to see where he goes. Probably around in circles chasing squirells and such, but might be interesting.
Don't Tread on Me
There's only one thing that dog should be able to do, and as far as I can tell, that's been covered already.
That's right, Rolfie. Come to papa with his brandy.
Small potatoes make the steak look bigger.
This sounds neat and interesting....until you realize (afterwards, of course) that the dog was in the room watching you have sex.....
-- Fugacity: Confusing chemists since 1908
I was just reading about how nerds will rule the world because "A nerd, ...is someone who concentrates on substance.".
And then I read this. And I think to myself... is there more than one definition for "nerd"?
I have no problem with your religion until you decide it's reason to deprive others of the truth.
"On the website, the scenario presented is a woman calling her dog telling him he should be home soon." Yet another example of bad marketing
Have you metaroderated recently?
...and find lost packets all over the floor!
I'm a proud parent of a newborn young girl. The first thing I did after getting her home from the natural birthing center was to install a subdermal electronic tag so she can't escape. Second, since I'm a good dad, I bought her a cell phone (an N-Gage even!) with a 700 minutes/month plan. Third, I enrolled her in ESL classes, cause she sure damn can't speak English yet. I don't understand a word she says!
Until later,!
Letter
I already get tons of e-mails telling me they can upgrade my "dog" by adding a few extra inches.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it dissolve.
If you're a good parent, you don't need this stuff.
Someone should send social services over to Timothy's house to see how many lost infants he's got in his garage.
sheesh. It might be neat on dogs, it's just dehumanizing on people.
Competing against dogs for DBA jobs.
---- "If we have to go on with these damned quantum jumps, then I'm sorry that I ever got involved" - Erwin Schrodinger
I'd like to see many of these things applied to adults.
In a world where billions don't have enough to eat, we are now giving our dogs cell phones.
Truly sick.
Intolerance for ambiguity is the mark of the authoritarian personality.
from the cats-are-superior dept.
'Nuff said
*Ducks!
Monstar L
from the cats-are-superior dept.
ahem
Perhaps you meant "from the no-cat-will-ever-drag-your-sorry-ass-out-of-a-burn ing-building dept."
Every single quality I like in a cat, I've yet to see in a dog. Such as being able to think for itself. (Being that I pretty much fit the stereotype of a Brujah myself.)
I don't know, maybe some people like the artifficial affection of a species altered and reprogrammed to _need_ a master. No matter how smart it may be, it's just hard-wired to come obey the MASTER.
(Though I've yet to see any dog displaying anything even vaguely resembling intelligence. I'll have to take it on faith that smart dogs exist, just like flying saucers, yeti and the loch ness monster. Other people swear they saw a smart dog, so they must exist somewhere. Just not near me, 'cause the one I've seen were just a sad case of the owner going "oh look how smart he is!" at just about every dumb reflex, like the dog sniffing his own butt or chewing a stick or being able to find his food bowl.)
Either way, I find it just sad. It's just as artifficial as getting an email inbox full of "I Love You" (the virus) back then. It's just a program running. It doesn't mean the virus actually loved you.
What you have there is a species which was originally hard-coded into hunting in groups, obeying the strongest in the group, and marking and defending its hunting territory. Until someone figured out basically "hey, we can reprogram it into thinking that the human is the pack leader and the garden is his territory to defend." So the poor beast continues doing that, no matter if it makes sense in any given situation.
It dutifully marks its territory on trees, even when it's a tree in the park and 100 other dogs are brought to re-mark it.
It tries to defend that territory, no matter how dumb it may be in any given situation. Like a tiny Pekinese barking its lungs out at a great dane, not because it's brave, but because it's still mechanically applying a hard-coded reflex from back when they were all the same size. Or like a shopkeeper's dog trying to keep the customers out of the shop, until she learned not to bring the dog in the shop any more.
And it dutifully obeys even the worst possible master, because somewhere in its tiny brains a circuit says "must obey the pack leader."
Dunno, I'll take a cat's autonomy over that any day. A cat doesn't have a master. It might see you as a friend if you're nice to it. Or merely a roommate. Or in rare cases an enemy, if you're really bad at that relationship.
And if you fit in the friend category, you can know that it's genuine, not some hardcoded obedience.
A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
This is the most insightful thing I've read today, and I wish I could mod it up.
I find it sad that people basically want to shut their kids off and never have to talk to them. The kid is something that should be put on a leash, or at least stay the fsck out of the way, while the parent is busy watching football or the 15'th soap opera for today.
And when the kid learns something awfully wrong, and the parent never was there for them to teach them otherwise, the parent promptly goes looking for a scapegoat. Nosiree, bob. It wasn't me who's to blame, guv'nor. I never taught him to do drugs and beat other kids up. (Never taught him that it's wrong to do that either, though.) It was those evil game companies and TV companies. Let's sue those.
Dunno, makes me think of Peter's Principle. Just because they have genitals, people are elligible to be "promoted" to parent. Too bad that half of them are utterly incompetent for that job.
A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
A'la Woody Allen ..
MED SHOT on COMPUTER GEEK and his DOG answering the door to his apartment. The dog is wearing a RED ELECTRONIC GIZMO on his collar.
Geek opens door.
CAMERA REVEALS NANCY an attractive girl in a skirt.
GEEK: Uh.. hi Nancy, come on in.
Nancy smiles, and start to enter. SUDDENLY the DOG grabs NANCY'S LEG and starts HUMPING MADLY.
DOG TRANSLATOR: I LOVE YOU
DOG TRANSLATOR: I AM HAPPY
DOG TRANSLATOR: DO YOU SEE MY BONE?
DOG TRANSLATOR: YOU ARE MY BITCH
DOG TRANSLATOR: I SMELL TREATS
DOG TRANSLATOR: MARRY ME
-- www.globaltics.net
Political discussion for a new world
Um, I took the comment "I'd rather see more of these things applied to infants" as a joke that the person would like to have an infantCam view of the world...especially during feeding times..wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more.
Look for the humor in everything first. You'll live longer.
Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies. -- Zoso
When Dog came back two hours later, the pager was not to be found. Expensive lesson for all involved.
Dewey, what part of this looks like authorities should be involved?
a species which was originally hard-coded into hunting in groups, obeying the strongest in the group, and marking and defending its hunting territory
A cat doesn't have a master. It might see you as a friend if you're nice to it. Or merely a roommate
I had to laugh when I ran into these two sentences that live in separate, but convenient for you, logical universes.
The house cat was derived from a solitary predator; it's aloof because, as you've pointed out, it has no inbred allegience to anything. It appears to be your 'friend' because you feed it, or drug it, or stroke its fur exactly the right way. It can be simplified as automata just as easily as a dog. And if you've never seen an intelligent dog, you've never seen one in agility training, or seeing eye dogs, or dogs that occasionally save a drowning child from a pool or its master from a burning house. If you're talking algebra, well, I think we've just entered the lofty heights of Homo sapien.
After all, who are you to say that human - and certainly cat - love is so different? Could you not distill human love down to the selection of the most genetically attractive partner? Or the biologically programmed imperative to care for a child? Or for the child to feel love for the 'master' that has fed and housed him/her, despite abuses and neglect? Dogs aren't the only ones that feel unconditional affection. I hope your opinions about animal emotion are only biased against Canis familiaris; if you can really see nothing about love and friendship that transcends basic biology, I pity you.