Slashdot Mirror
Xybernaut Patents Collar Computer
igargoyle writes "Wearable Computer manufacturer, Xybernaut, has encouraged the kludge that is the patent office by patenting collar based wearable computers. Besides being extremely vague, the whole thing sounds likes the Slashdot article, 'A Linux Machine For Your Collar.' There are many references to this idea, and computer collars have been used as nomadic radios and animal tracking devices before. Please help encourage this company to stop wasting taxpayer's money and encourage innovation instead of preventing it."
How many times does this shit have to happen before the Patent Office is called to account for itself.
There have been so many stupid patents in the last few years that I have lost count - patents which have OBVIOUS prior art and are EASILY disputed. Silly patents are becoming the norm, and yet there isnt much news on the dispute of them - perhaps there should be a very serious penalty to companies which patent obvoius things (like one click shopping, etc)
You can't expect to wield supreme executive power, just because some watery tart threw a sword at you
What does this mean??? It can be summarized as 'We are good at doing jobs'.
-Kz-
What I'd like to know is exactly what these collar computers would be used, or useful, for. With traditional computers, you need two things to use them effectively. A way to input information, and a way to output information. Now, while advances have been made in the areas of display technology, I don't think we're to the point where you could have a practical, comfortable, usable display that can be worn. In the book "Digital FOrtress" by Dan Brown, an assassin uses a unique input system bases on the touching of contacts together in rapid succession, the contacts being worn on the fingertips. This might be an interesting concept. So far as the display goes, my idea would be to use the "smart window" technology to have a small screen embedded between two panels of glass or plastic. These could be worn as eyeglasses. The application of a small amount of voltage causes these panels to become opaque or clear, depending on the setting. This might prove to be a viable display technology in a few years.
"What I cary in this box is your utter subjugation."
Don't know why anybody would be surprised. The patent system is absurd and the concept of obviousness is a concept the USPTO doesn't seem to grasp.
Corporate counsels are recommending that their companies attempt to patent everything they can think of. Like it or not it makes good business sense if your company can afford to do it.
Note that 60% (or so) of granted patents don't withstand serious challenges. Of course, they can still be used to threaten competitors.
Yeah? Well I think you're overrated too.
The U.S patent office just doesn't get it to do with hardware/software patents (i.e: allowing microsoft to patent sudo). The patent office needs a rethink of how they handle technology patents. Half the time, the patents are given out to companies/people who didn't come up with the idea, that just heared it somewhere else and got involved with it.
They need a rethink. A major one.
"With Microsoft, you get Windows. With Linux, you get the full house" - unknown
The patent office's dubious practices don't cost us anything now. They're actually profitable. It's just the long term consequences for innnovation that worrying.
-sd
The obvious response would be to patent a computer integrated into a thong. The antenna for wireless connectivity could run up the buttstrap. The computer itself could network with other thong computers to guage compatible sexual responses to social interactions, could be used to time fertility for female wearers, and include new and innovative video game controller mechanisms.
...Nothing interesting here. Just move along...
To quote the article
involves a wearable computer having computer components movably located in a collar (such as that of a garment) that the user wears around his or her neck. The computer component(s) can be a display, monitor, a microphone or audio headset
Which is even more stupid than previously thought.
I, for one, welcome our new computer-collar wearing, cyborg-dog overlords!
Hostes alienigieni me abduxerunt. Qui annus est?
I am all in favor of this. The more absurd entries in the patent system, the sooner it is going to collapse.
If Pandora's box is destined to be opened, *I* want to be the one to open it.
. . .thats like trying to patent shoes!
Exactly! They think they're so smart, but I'm ahead of them. I have the patent on the collar and they'd damned well better call me for a colicensing deal or I'll see their arses in court.
I've got lapels, plackets and cuffs too, so they shouldn't get to thinking they can pull a fast one that way.
I couldn't get shoes though. Nike already had that one. The bastards.
KFG
"Please help encourage this company to stop wasting taxpayer's money and encourage innovation instead of preventing it."
This is like asking corporations to pay their fair share of taxes without passing a law that requires it. If there's one lesson in the success of capitalism as an economic system, it's that people are basically greedy and that what's not forbidden will be done and genrally accepted, even if it's not right.
We need to curtail patents, not shame individual piecemeal patent holders. Get in touch with your legislators or spred the word through publicity stunts that patents are bad, but this sort of rear guard action helps no one.
microsoftword.mp3 - it doesn't care that they're not words...
Before you reply, please read the patent file.
Every single time there is a patent story we get the masses biching and complaining about the patent system, yet EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU are too farking lazy to write letters to your senators, represenatives, president, governor, etc.. explaining the problem and how it is something bad.
It's time, I'm calling all you asshat's out.
Shit or get off the pot. I.E. if you do not write those letters, and become a patent reform supporter then you need to shut the hell up and be happy.
If you are so lazy that you can not be bothered to get away from slashdot for 20 minutes towrite those letters or make those phone calls, then you are nothing but a waste of space and need to sut up.
IANAL, but wouldn't these jackets made by Levi's & Philips, from 2001, count as prior art?
> stop wasting taxpayer's money
Patent applications are not free. And neither are the patent maintenance fees (if the patent is issued).
The USPTO collects so much in fees that the government takes some of the money collected by the USPTO and spends it elsewhere.
Instead of complaining about companies voluntarily PAYING fees to our federal government, we should complain about HOW that money is spent--for example, complaining about the USPTO not being able to use all the collected fees to improve itself would be the smarter thing to do.
If you read the patent laws and policies, you'd see that innovation isn't hurt, but actually helped by "correct" patents. The problem is with patents being granted that do not meet the legal requirements in the first place. But then, those scenarios can play out in court later on and the patent will get killed if it was undeserving of a grant.
You can blame a company who obtained an asinine patent for doing what is perfectly legal. If it doesn't do it, some other company would, and than that Xybernaut would be screwed.
If you have a problem with what Xybernaut did then you should move to change the law. To expect corporations (and citizens) to follow laws which do not exist is as asinine as the patent that Xybernaut obtained.
If someone says he and his monkey have nothing to hide, they almost certainly do.
There are many slashdotters who think patents are needed because without them the little guy is screwed. However, there is a much more fundamental problem here. Patents basically prevents someone from using his own knowledge even if the knowledge came from someone else initally.
Tell me, if preventing someone from using his own knowledge (it is his knowledge since it is in his mind) by force is not slavery then what is it?
Government cannot make man richer, but it can make him poorer. - Ludwig von Mises
This opens new opportunities for Jean-Marie Pfaff !
(Belgian inside joke)
Well they were until Slashdot pointed out that you've patented something ridiculous... now there isn't a nerd in the world who accepts anything you do. Good luck fellas!
Get your Unix fortune now!
Is a "war fighter" what used to be called a "soldier"?
You were mistaken. Which is odd, since memory shouldn't be a problem for you
To quote the patent,
The preferred and optimumly preferred embodiments of the present invention have been described herein...
Does the use of "optimumly" invalidate the patent? Or is the invention of this word covered under the same patent?
- Shoes.
- Shoelaces.
- Undergarments.
- Trousers (in any form)
So either you owe me obscene amounts of money, or your coworkers are having a laugh.Cease and desist! I own the patent for this. It's what I call CrackNet.
I had problems figuring out how to power it without the lithium ion batteries burning the sensitive skin on the backside, so I use kinetics -- cheeks rubbing together produces an amazing amount of energy. There's a thin wire, like a bra underwire, that runs through the top that's connected to an 802.11g card.
The biggest problem is positioning the computer so it doesn't make women's butts look big.
Get a free iPod...learn how here: freeipods.com
The USPTO actually makes money by charging a substantial fee for every interface with it, and strictly monitoring the time spent on each task. I'm told that a USPTO examiner only has time to look at a patent for 8 hours during its entire examination, including prior art searches and the response to the patentee
The funds raised by the USPTO are used for things that have nothing to do with the USPTO, thus the poor results. This makes most of the IP community fairly angry, as pseudo-companies are getting patents on ridiculous things, which then waste real-companys' time fighting ridiculous lawsuits from "trolls".
I am used to the general uninformed ranting that goes on Slashdot regarding the patent system. i.e. "IM GOING TO PATENT TEH NUMBER "0"!!!! I OWNZZ J00 F007!!!!". But I'm surprised that this statement got onto the front page.
Don't get me wrong there are a lot of problems with the USPTO, but most could be solved by a simply allowing the USPTO to use the money it makes to do its job, rather then allowing congress to put that money into its coffers. If you are going to bitch, at least make it informed, or else you run the risk of misleading your audience and don't actually solve the problem.
The problem with waiting for a system to collapse in its own absurdity is that often it stubbornly stays up. Even worse when you try to hurry said collapse by adding absurdities, as you sometimes wind up having benefitted your opponent. It's like trying to shift into a throw in a fight to unbalance your opponent and finding that they're quite happy with you moving in that direction and would like to help you accelerate just a bit more on your way to the floor.
This sig has absolutely no significance and serves only to take up screen space and waste the time of the reader.
Is it novel? Eh. I can't think of anything like what is described, but there are lots of things under the sun.
Is it useful? Probably to someone.
Is it non-obvious? Yeah, in the patent kind of way, because it specifically describes a method of developing a head mounted display that would have been developed by others multiple times over if it were obvious. Lots of people are working on head mounted displays, all of which specifically mount to the head. This mounts to a collar around the neck. I think it's a lame idea, but I also think it's a meaningful patent.
RTFP!
"Uh... yeah, Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?" --Pinky
I read the patent, and to me it's a wide-ranging catch-all. A neck computer that's also a cellphone, or maybe it's a radio, possibly has a display, maybe you can listen to music on it.
Hey! I know! Let's work all conceivable notions into the patent for what a neck computer could be, so if anybody else wants to make one, they gotta pay us.
Patents like this make patenting seem like a racket.
Big Daddy, Johnny, Burp, Aunt Zelda, Scott, Slurp, Big Momma
This is no surprise.
I interviewed Xybernaut's CEO several years ago at COMDEX. The interview was set up for the purpose of talking about his company's use of Linux on its gear, but he only half-heartedly showed me a few models, then launched into his spiel about Xybernaut's patent attorneys, which he had all over the world. I think he claimed over 60 countries.
He told me Xybernaut could see the downturn coming and that it had decided licensing and royalties were where it's at. To demonstrate the company's "innovative" strides in patent gamesmanship, he pulled out a unit that a hinged and retractable slot cover for a PCMCIA slot. It was a slot cover: It closed when the card was in place, and opening it caused the card to eject.
He said no one had patented anything like it, and that his crack team of attorneys were now vigilantly monitoring dozens of countries to make sure that if anyone did anything like it, they'd be on hand demanding royalties and a cut of the action.
When Xybernaut announces patents like this, I suppose we can take comfort in its consistency: It's going on four years of taking out patents and then watching for someone to run afoul of them so it can get down to its real business, which is making sure the only "useful art or science" left is patent litigation.
Michael Hall
mph.puddingbowl.org
Now, if I can just arrange the words ethernet, sniffer, promiscuous in some logical fashion...
Blearf. Blearf, I say.
Boy, this sounds like something out of a comic book to me.
Is one of the more innovative companies out there. They have a good solid history of wearable computing designs, so I support them in protecting their assets. This is NOT another IBM or MS. This is NOT an evil company doing evil things. Shit, back in 1994 all I wanted was one of their devices. I still want one, they're badass.
perl -e '$_="\007/4`\cp%2,".chr(127);s/./"\"\\c$&\""/gees
I work as a patent examiner, and if that was the case my quota would be so easy.
I personally allow less than 6% of the cases that go accross my desk.
The office doesnt have enough funds to hire more examiners as the funds are being diverted.
How many times does this shit have to happen before the Patent Office is called to account for itself.
As I read this Slashdot story, I see a number of people doing one of the following:
(a) Blaming the USPTO and saying that they need to get their act together.
(b) Blaming Xybernaut for filing a bullshit patent.
Now, before you start writing, consider what you intend to accomplish.
Let's take a look. First, the people criticizing the USPTO for doing a poor job reviewing patents. The USPTO can't simply review patents "better". To some degree, this is a matter of money. You are dealing with documents (and often not very clear ones) that are often describing bleeding edge research, stuff that perhaps one or two people in the world fully understand. Even if it were possible to hire the PhDs and spend the desired time on each patent, it would be incredibly expensive, requiring vast amounts of funding to be channeled to the USPTO. Or, perhaps patent fees could be significantly increased -- which would make it difficult for the little independent inventors to obtain patents.
Then, the people criticizing Xybernaut.
Usually, we have a gut reaction, learned in childhood, to blame and criticize people that do something that hurts us. The problem is that corporations are very carefully designed to make it as easy as possible to be as exploitative as possible and to ignore this sort of complaining -- if they *aren't*, they get quashed by someone else who *is* nastier. Many of the structures we have -- isolating upper management and decision makers from direct contact with the outside, making executives legally responsible to the shareholders of a company, paying executives based on what share prices and profits do -- are designed to prevent typical learned human reactions from coming into play. An executive is encouraged *not* to have his business donate $5,000 to the local school for sports equipment (unless, of course, the advertising value of the donation is greater than the cost). So, there isn't a lot of point in complaining about Xybernaut's behavior. They're doing exactly what the system is designed to encourage them to do. The CEO who thought he was so clever to keep patenting silly things really *is* clever, if he can use the patents to pull money away from someone else.
So, all I can say is that complaining about poor review practices or "evil" behavior on the part of Xybernaut is not going to accomplish anything. Such actions just have no impact on the system as it stands. It's like politely asking a boulder that's in your way to move -- it's not an effective solution to the problem.
I, personally, think that the only effective way to solve the problem is the change the patent *system*, which is where the flaw is. Make patent challenges (especially prior art challenges) extremely simple and inexpensive, as idiot-proof as possible, so that they can be done without a lawyer. Make the *loser* of a patent challenge case, not the *challenger*, pay the patent challenge fees. Require the holder of a patent to have an opportunity to, before each challenge is examined, release their patent to the public domain. Include an "obviousness" restriction on patents (in the common sense, not in the current sense of obviousness consisting of differences from an existing patent). If a typical engineer in a field will come up with the patent given the problem the patent is intended to solve within five minutes, then the patent does not warrant the Constitutional granting of a monopoly -- the patent filer is not advancing the state of knowledge. This changes the system to have the characteristics that we want -- it is no longer in the interest of a company to file bullshit lawsuits, if such a bullshit patent does slip through it can be easily removed by anyone (instead of adding more garbage to the USPTO database until some court case comes along involving it). In addition, cap the number of claims per patent at a much smaller number (perhaps ten).
May we never see th
You laugh, but this has been done. Not with a computer, but with a wire tap. Pick up a Newton's Telecom Dictionary and look up "Bikini Transmitter".
Better yet, I have one here. I'll read it to you:
"The Bikini Transmitter is a body wire developed for a special surveillance project. Law Enforcement professionals needed to secretly record a conversation between a suspect and a female agent. The suspect insisted the meeting take place at a topless beach. An audio transmitter was sewn into a string bikini with the antenna threaded through the string. The largest component, the battery, was carried, uh...internally. It is not known whether the transmitter was waterproof."
Now, get to patenting! Chop chop!