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Brain Controlled Computing a Reality

Posted by samzenpus on from the really-hands-free dept.

pchernyakov writes "Cyberkinetics Neurotechnology Systems told attendees at the American Academy of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation annual conference that a 25-year-old quadriplegic with wires run from 100 tiny sensors implanted in his brain and out to a computer can use his thoughts to control a computer well enough to operate a TV, open e-mail and play Pong with 70% accuracy."

14 of 299 comments (clear)

  1. What does Captain Pike think? by DeezyChee · · Score: 5, Funny

    *blink* *blink*

    1. Re:What does Captain Pike think? by Profane+MuthaFucka · · Score: 4, Funny

      No, we need to have larger neurons, and fewer of them. I bet a leech could work this thing really well.

      --
      Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
  2. Hmm... by ZeroPost · · Score: 4, Funny

    Sounds like it's time to break out the tinfoil hat...

    1. Re:Hmm... by KitFox · · Score: 4, Funny
      Dear ZeroPost,

      While we appreciate your interest in tinfoil hats to combat our new technology, we advise you not to try it. As indicated, this is hard-wired directly into your brain. Tinfoil hats have proven to be a problem for our mind control rays, since they are wireless, however the tinfoil has proven to be no match for a Makita to the frontal lobe.

      In closing, we recommend that you drop these silly ideas that tin or even aluminum foil will be any match for our hard-wired technology. Thank you.

      Your Future Thought Control Overlords

      --

      @Whee

  3. Porn by athakur999 · · Score: 5, Funny

    So this means I can surf with NO hands on the keyboard? Think of the possibilities.

    --
    "People that quote themselves in their signatures bother me" - athakur999
    1. Re:Porn by retro128 · · Score: 4, Funny

      That's the whole problem isn't it? Now I don't know if all the porn popups I'm getting are being caused by my new neural interface or spyware.

      --
      -R
  4. Really? by SansTinfoilHat · · Score: 4, Funny

    and play Pong with 70% accuracy

    Damn, I can't even play Pong with 70% accuracy.

  5. Now just hook it up to some robotics and... by retro128 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Can this be much farther behind?

    --
    -R
  6. yikes! by mrpuffypants · · Score: 4, Funny

    open e-mail

    His first email? INCREASE THE SIZE OF YOUR PENIS! PLEASURE WOMEN!

    sigh. kinda makes you wish that email had never even come around...

    (Jordan, if you see this...GET BACK TO WORK! =]

  7. Re:Fiction to reality.. by NetNifty · · Score: 5, Funny

    If he is really a "terminal man", we can just telnet to him if something goes wrong.

    --
    Linux Wireless Hardware in the UK
  8. 70% Pong Accuracy by aardwolf64 · · Score: 4, Funny

    can use his thoughts to control a computer well enough to operate a TV, open e-mail and play Pong with 70% accuracy

    I can do the first two easily enough, but he's got me beat on the 70% Pong rate...

  9. Re:Fiction to reality.. by s4m7 · · Score: 4, Funny

    we can just telnet to him if something goes wrong.

    root@terminalman# killall -s SIGKILL braind

    --
    This comment is fully compliant with RFC 527.
  10. Re:How about.... by shaka999 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I think we all know the dangers of hooking up robotic octopus arms without proper failsafes in place.

    --
    One should not theorize before one has data. -Sherlock Holmes-
  11. Finally... by Proptwistr · · Score: 5, Funny

    As a tech support specialist, it's kinda nice to see somebody actually using their brain to operate a computer.