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Kazaa Trial In Australia Underway

wadiwood writes "Five record companies are suing the makers of Kazaa. Sharman (moved to vanuatu in Feb 2004) say they are not responsible for what their users do with the software. Personally I don't get what Sony is doing selling MP3 players for all your "favourite tunes" and then selling music which they say you are not allowed to copy to their MP3 players, but that's another story."

51 of 177 comments (clear)

  1. I tried Kazaa, too by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    A while back. Seemed kinda buggy, so I deleted it. I'm sure Australia will do the same.

  2. More info here .. by macaulay805 · · Score: 5, Informative

    There is more info here: Afterdawn.com

    1. Re:More info here .. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

      Will be an attempt to determine whether Sharman can be held liable for Kazaa user's activity or not.

      Hopefully, the defendant will raise the issue of trivial and vexacious litigation, as well as forum shopping. Given the US has already decided this one , it is plainly another speculative bid, with the tantrum thrower trying another parent after being told no the first time.

      There is ample precedent in Australia, that Beer company's are not liable if the user/driver has an accident - the guilt - association link is just not there.

      Sharman should also claim damages - between bittorrent and all the lite versions - these lawsuits have irrevocably damaged their business model, as users drift to alternate solutions, of which they have no control over.

      Right minded people will question, why is this case not being contested in Vanuatu, where it belongs.

  3. "I don't get what Sony is doing..." by Anita+Coney · · Score: 4, Informative

    In the US it is perfectly legal to rip purchased CDs into MP3 format for non-commerical use.

    --
    If someone says he and his monkey have nothing to hide, they almost certainly do.
    1. Re:"I don't get what Sony is doing..." by ToppDogg · · Score: 2, Interesting

      In the US it is perfectly legal to rip purchased CDs into MP3 format for non-commerical use.

      Even if it circumvents a copyprotection system?

    2. Re:"I don't get what Sony is doing..." by theparanoidcynic · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Yes, but it's not legal to circumvent the DRM on the discs to rip them . . . . .

      --
      Only in a Slashdot fantasy can a Slackware install turn into several hours of sex . . . . .
    3. Re:"I don't get what Sony is doing..." by Anita+Coney · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yeah, only in America is it legal to copy music but illegal to hold down the shift key!

      --
      If someone says he and his monkey have nothing to hide, they almost certainly do.
    4. Re:"I don't get what Sony is doing..." by theparanoidcynic · · Score: 4, Interesting

      What is this "shift key" of which you speak? I'm breaking the law simply by using an OS that doesn't support their precious DRM system. All us *nix users (including those with that "mainstream" BSD-based Apple thing) are criminals for putting DRMed CDs in our computers without being willing or able to run their RIAA virus.

      --
      Only in a Slashdot fantasy can a Slackware install turn into several hours of sex . . . . .
    5. Re:"I don't get what Sony is doing..." by Anita+Coney · · Score: 3, Funny

      So essentially, it's legal for you to buy it but illegal for you to use it. Interesting. I'm really surprised I didn't hear that Kafka won the election!

      --
      If someone says he and his monkey have nothing to hide, they almost certainly do.
    6. Re:"I don't get what Sony is doing..." by mark-t · · Score: 4, Informative
      Actually it is still perfectly legal, regardless of what manufacturers and publishers might think or even want.

      Read the text of the DMCA carefully. Pay particularly attention to section 1201, subsection c (Sorry, I don't have a link handy). There is a specific exemption in it that says that it shall not infringe on fair use.

      So really, the only time the DMCA can be applied to someone is when they were breaking the law already anyways (even if the DMCA weren't law), which makes the DMCA redundant at best, and a waste of everyone's time at worst.

    7. Re:"I don't get what Sony is doing..." by Yartrebo · · Score: 4, Insightful

      That exception doesn't extend to the provisions against distributing software to get around said copy restriction software. It might be legal to use DeCSS for fair use, but it's illegal to give it to others or receive if from others.

      This kind of makes the fair use exception of the DMCA useless.

    8. Re:"I don't get what Sony is doing..." by tambo · · Score: 4, Insightful
      So really, the only time the DMCA can be applied to someone is when they were breaking the law already anyways (even if the DMCA weren't law), which makes the DMCA redundant at best, and a waste of everyone's time at worst.

      The DMCA is contradictory on this point. It does state that it won't be construed to change fair use concepts. But it also states, quite clearly, that copyright measures cannot be circumvented. It's not clear which section controls. One would hope the rules of statutory construction (particularly, a bias toward non-contradictory interpretation) would favor the former - i.e., implicitly, one may break copyright enforcement measures in furtherance of fair use - but this is not at all clear.

      Also: The DMCA criminalizes some activity that isn't fair use, but that must fairly be permitted. For instance, reverse-engineering for commercial purposes is not typically regarded as fair use, but has been tolerated in the interest of market competition. Lexmark comes to mind here, in its attempt to assert the DMCA against a company that reverse-engineered its printer hardware in order to produce non-Lexmark-branded (and infinitely cheaper) toner cartridges. Of course, Lexmark lost that suit, but the ruling was quite limited to the field of access/lockout codes.

      - David Stein

      --
      Computer over. Virus = very yes.
    9. Re:"I don't get what Sony is doing..." by debest · · Score: 4, Informative

      Actually it is still perfectly legal, regardless of what manufacturers and publishers might think or even want.

      Read the text of the DMCA carefully. Pay particularly attention to section 1201, subsection c (Sorry, I don't have a link handy). There is a specific exemption in it that says that it shall not infringe on fair use.


      This is essentially correct.

      So really, the only time the DMCA can be applied to someone is when they were breaking the law already anyways (even if the DMCA weren't law), which makes the DMCA redundant at best, and a waste of everyone's time at worst.

      Incorrect.

      The DMCA does not restrict fair use of any copyrighted materials: you may legally bypass any DRM in your way and make non-commercial copies to your heart's content. BUT, the DMCA also makes it (civilly and criminally) illegal to distribute "circumvention devices", free software or otherwise.

      Essentially, you can break the DRM, but you can't ever tell anyone how you did it. You can legally reclaim fair use only if you are technically saavy enough. This is why the EFF wants to mount a challenge to this act: it is a restriction on free speech.

      --
      Look at the tomato! Isn't it sad? He can't dance! Poor tomato!
    10. Re:"I don't get what Sony is doing..." by AviLazar · · Score: 2, Interesting

      So its legal to rip but not to distribute? That is fine and I think that if ripping is the ONLY thing the end-users were doing that organizations like the MPAA and RIAA would have no problem with it. In all honesty, their problems stem from the millions of files that are traded *DAILY* without any money going to the companies that produced this material. It does not matter if we disagree with the price, their marketing, or if we should be able to share it or not....we did not create it and we do not hold any copyright's over it - they do.

      So some of these rules they setup with their EULA's, laws, etc are valid because they are sueing people and winning.

      --

      I mod down so you can mod up. Your welcome.
    11. Re:"I don't get what Sony is doing..." by mark-t · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Yeah... "technically savvy enough". That's such a hugely grey area that it's not even funny. Indeed, the DMCA is basically trying to prohibit anyone from sharing any information or technology which could make anyone else "technically savvy enough" to do so, which basically means that they better start outlawing computer science classes in University.

  4. Oh... by Jeffery · · Score: 2, Insightful

    you mean that a corporation is greedy and realizes that they can make more money by screwing over as many people as they can? wow... as for kazaa, it's very obvious that most P2P networks are there solely to get illegal stuff (music, movies, etc), but proving it in court will be a totally different matter.

    --
    President Bush Supporter
    1. Re:Oh... by WormholeFiend · · Score: 2, Interesting

      if it's so obvious, why is it hard to prove in court?

      if i was working for the suer, i'd argue that creating p2p software is like writing a virus... while the virus maker is not necessarily the person who distributes it, he is still liable for the damages caused.

      but if i was working for the sued, i'd argue that Microsoft does not get sued for crimes committed by people using Windows as a facilitating tool.

      but IANAL, so...

  5. Sigh. Is the idea of licensing so hard to grasp? by mumblestheclown · · Score: 3, Insightful
    "and then selling music which they say you are not allowed to copy to their MP3 players"

    This would seem to be inconsistent.. unless, you know, you actually took a moment to think about it.

    Sony has some online music service where they do not allow you (vis a vis the linked to licensing agreemnet) to copy the songs to other players. Fine. If you dont like that, DONT USE THE SERVICE. The consequences of this licensing proviso has been factored in to the "supply and demand" equation for the service offering.

    On the other hand, it has been shown that you are welcome to take your purchased sony CD-ROMs and make Mp3s for them for your personal use on your sony MP3 players or whatnot. It has been pretty much universally acknowledged that as long as its for your own personal use, this is a privilege that you get with your physical CD purchase and this has likewise been "supply / demanded" in to the price offering.

    Why is it so hard to understand that one company might offer two different levels of service / product at different prices?

  6. In answer to the Sony question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Two different departments/subsidiaries/legal companies often have competing interests with competing executives...the old ignorant left hand problem. It's impossible for a large corp to be consistant accross all entities since they have competing interests at various times and are run by different people. Add in your average dose of corporate politics and general large company ineptness and it's shocking that any company of any consequence at all doesn't contradict itself daily.

    As for the rest of it...it's just a fight for the few remaining profits in a changing industry. Once there's no profit left in the standard model or there is more in the digital music distribution models Sony and everyone else will adapt to the new environment. If you want it to happen faster don't buy any music. If you're comfortable with the general level of silliness proceed...either way it's only a matter of time be for the distribution of artistic media changes dramatically.

  7. The boot by k4_pacific · · Score: 3, Funny

    As I understand it, a common punishment for criminal offences in Australia is to be kicked with a large boot. Can anyone in the know enlighten me as to whether this is also done in a civil trial? If Kazaa wins, do they get to boot the execs of the record companies? Their lawyers? The artists?

    --
    Unknown host pong.
    1. Re:The boot by bm17 · · Score: 5, Funny

      This is just another example of the american media spreading lies and mistruths about foreign cultures. They use a normal sized boot.

  8. Did you get permission to use that link? by Bazzargh · · Score: 5, Funny

    6. Linking to Sony Sites
    You must not link to any Sony Site without first obtaining the prior written consent of Sony and such consent must be signed by Sony's Director of Business Affairs to be valid.


    (to which I say: ok, lets wipe you off the face of the internet)...Oh shit now I've done it too: 2...no part of the content of this site may be reproduced in any form without the written consent of Sony...

    1. Re:Did you get permission to use that link? by aero2600-5 · · Score: 5, Informative

      "You must not link to any Sony Site without first obtaining the prior written consent of Sony and such consent must be signed by Sony's Director of Business Affairs to be valid."

      2600 Magazine has already taken this to court against Ford Motor Company and won. A website cannot legally prevent someone from linking to them. Here's a link to the article. The World Wide Web cannot exist in it's present form without the ability to link to anyone you choose. Take Slashdot as example. What if all the websites in these stories didn't want to be linked to? No more Slashdot.. Linking is the premise that the World Wide Web is built on.

      Aero

      --
      Please stop hurting America -- Jon Stewart
    2. Re:Did you get permission to use that link? by HeghmoH · · Score: 3, Informative

      The World Wide Web cannot exist in it's present form without the ability to link to anyone you choose. Take Slashdot as example. What if all the websites in these stories didn't want to be linked to? No more Slashdot.. Linking is the premise that the World Wide Web is built on.

      This is basically the same argument the music companies are using. "Take BMI as an example. What if all of those customers chose to copy their music from their friends? No more BMI. Copyright is the premise that the music industry is built on." A much better argument would talk about how a link is just an address, which is public knowledge, and there is no law that prohibits dissemination of them.

      --
      Mod down posts with a "Free Mac Mini/iPod" sig, they're spam!
  9. Re:Sigh. Is the idea of licensing so hard to grasp by spawnofbill · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Except there is no Fair Use clause in Aussie copyright law. So they can't do this legally in Austrialia, hence why the submitter said this.

  10. The statistics of being sued... by dep01 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Wow.. 100 million people use Kazaa.. I think they've put suits out against approx. 4,000 people now? What percentage of 100 million is 4,000? 00.004%? Yeesh. How unlucky do you have to be to be sued by the RIAA? *cringes*

    --
    "hey, could you pass me a paper towel? er.. I mean... DEPLOY ABSORBTION PANEL!"
    1. Re:The statistics of being sued... by Wylfing · · Score: 4, Insightful
      How unlucky do you have to be to be sued by the RIAA?

      Lawsuits are only filed after other thresholds have been met. While I am not privy to all the mechanics of it [1], your chances of being "tagged" by the RIAA in one of their databases as a filesharing IP are quite high. If your IP shows up a lot, you'll make it into a verification stage. If they can verify that you're distributing their stuff, then the lawsuit appears. So the 0.004% of users is just how many have made it into the final, verified stage of (probably massive) copyright infringement. There may be 5-10% who are in process of being verified, or who have not uploaded a sufficient quantity yet to warrant a lawsuit but who are being watched while they do.

      [1] Not so long ago I received a friendly note from my ISP that I was being observed (and the ISP was receiving DMCA threats). I got a pretty good look at what was going on that way.

      --
      Our intelligent designer has never created an animal that we couldn't improve by strapping a bomb to it.
    2. Re:The statistics of being sued... by Apathetic1 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      So the 0.004% of users is just how many have made it into the final, verified stage of (probably massive) copyright infringement. There may be 5-10% who are in process of being verified, or who have not uploaded a sufficient quantity yet to warrant a lawsuit but who are being watched while they do.

      And yet they still somehow managed to tag somebody who doesn't have a computer capable of running Kazaa. Good job, music industry.

      --

      My username does not make me Apathetic. It's irony, get it?

  11. Shaman and Sony by DJCF · · Score: 3, Insightful
    Personally I don't get what Sony is doing selling MP3 players for all your "favourite tunes" and then selling music which they say you are not allowed to copy to their MP3 players, but that's another story."

    Ok, what the hell does that have to do with the stated news article about suing Shaman Networks? More news, less uninformed opinion please? Nah - too much to ask.

    1. Re:Shaman and Sony by mejesster · · Score: 2, Insightful

      It's two stories really... As for the labels suing Sharman, there is precedent to protect Sharman (although we hear Australian copyright law may be different? How different?) and far more importantly, any decision against Sharman in Australian courts lacks the ability to gain compliance. As for Sony, their online music service and their new hardware product are both lagging far behind. I hope both fail.

      --
      MacroHard - Boning you in a big way! (TM)
  12. In other words: by Pxtl · · Score: 4, Funny

    KaZaa is about to get voted off the island.

    sorry.

  13. Did you get permission? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny
    According to that Sony site you point us to, you're not allow to point us to their site without their permission... You did get that before you /.'d them eh?

    Well, if not, then let me join in on the fun! Nothing like a good ole' DDoS

  14. Only if you know its there by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    If I use a piece of software and it rips it into an MP3, I haven't circumvented any DRM. Maybe the software did, but I don't know anything about DRM, circumvention or any of that fancy tecnical junk. I just want to use my iPod, your honor.

    Case dismissed.

  15. Re:Sigh. Is the idea of licensing so hard to grasp by williamhb · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Except there is no Fair Use clause in Aussie copyright law. So they can't do this legally in Austrialia, hence why the submitter said this.

    Yes, there is a Fair Use clause in Australian copyright law, it just isn't identical to the one in the US. (and unfortunately while it does cover photocopying parts of books, it doesn't cover copying music from one medium to another).

    However, there is also case law, some of which may be helpful. One example was when an Australian cable network was sued by a free-to-air network because the cable network was rebroadcasting the free-to-air signal (including ads) over cable without permission. Seems like an obvious breach of copyright law - copying the entire network content. But the cable network won, partly on the grounds that they were rebroadcasting the signal to people who were already entitled to receive it, and the free-to-air network couldn't actually prove it had caused any financial loss to them.

    As such, a law suit to stop someone copying their CDs to their own media player might prove difficult, despite it not being covered by fair use.

    But your milage may vary and I am not a lawyer...
  16. Sony AU Site /.'ed by frank249 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Sony Australia apologises for this interruption in service.

    Our servers are currently performing a maintenance function(after melting down) and are temporarily unavailable.

    This service outage is not anticipated to take long
    and the site should be available within 30 minutes.

    --

    Today's vices may be tomorrow's virtues.

  17. Re:First Post by tambo · · Score: 4, Interesting
    Sony is a little mysterious that way! One would think it could recoup some music losses thru its hardware sales.

    In fact, they're trying the opposite tactic. They have essentially missed the whole MP3 player market - entering the field late, and with a product that was both indistinguishable from a dozen also-rans and rendered lame by copyright restrictions. So they are endeavoring to propagate the "repeat media sale" model to these new devices. They sell you one copy of the CD for your home computer, another copy for your car, a third for your MP3 player...

    This is perhaps the greatest threat of the P2P/open-media frontier: the big media gravy train is coming to an end, as the public realizes it should only have to buy content once.

    - David Stein

    --
    Computer over. Virus = very yes.
  18. Re:Kazaa LEGAL !! by AkaXakA · · Score: 2, Interesting

    That was in the Netherlands.

    They might move back there again if they lose here, or get into too much difficulty.

  19. Re:Kazaa LEGAL !! by gcaseye6677 · · Score: 4, Informative

    This is in Australia; Kazaa was found to be legal in the United States. Australian judges do not consider these rulings when a suit is filed in their court. The makers of Kazaa are still being sued on a regular basis even in the U.S. whenever the recording industry lawyers come up with a new idea for a suit.

  20. case dismissed-Re:Only if you know its there by way2trivial · · Score: 2, Interesting
    um, ignorance of the law is no excuse?

    good luck with your theory.

    some people PAID MONEY for kazaa ?gold? and were still sued by the Riaa

    and how free do you think it is to get to the point where you get to espouse your theory to the judge?

    --
    every day http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
  21. Sharman Networks are not the creators of Kazaa by Spirit+Of+Atlantis · · Score: 2, Informative

    To correct something that the article-poster and article itself implies which is uncorrect... The creators of Kazaa are not Sharman Networks in Australia. Kazaa was created by a team of programmers from The Netherlands(Europe). Eventually Kazaa was bought from them when they were entangled in a lawsuit against them. Because the Dutch creators didn't want to take any risk of losing this case in court and face the consequences of a conviction, they sold Kazaa to Sharman Networks in Australia. Ironically the Dutch creators of Kazaa won the lawsuit, but then it was already to late as they had already sold Kazaa.

    1. Re:Sharman Networks are not the creators of Kazaa by Spirit+Of+Atlantis · · Score: 2, Interesting

      On a side-note...

      In fact when Kazaa would have stayed in Dutch hands, then Kazaa would have stayed a legal p2p program.
      And prosecuters from other countries would not have been able to convict it in court as illegal software.
      As the case in The Netherlands against Kazaa was already won by the creators of Kazaa.
      Furthermore p2p software in itself in The Netherlands by law in itself cannot be prosecuted as being illegal...because p2p software in itself does not cause the illegal act.
      Also downloading of copyrighted media and software is considered legal in The Netherlands, this is because downloading is not considered as the actual act of infringing the copyright, that is done by the people who crack and rip media and software.

  22. Simple explanation for Sony's stance by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

    Personally I don't get what Sony is doing selling MP3 players for all your "favourite tunes" and then selling music which they say you are not allowed to copy to their MP3 players...

    Then you haven't really put any serious thought into the issue, have you? I imagine that a simplistic explanation would be:

    • Download MP3 from "legit" (read: "pay") MP3 distribution service, OR
    • Rip MP3 from legally purchased/received CD
    • Copy said MP3 to portable player

    Notice how KaZaA is not involved?

    Furthermore, the "Sony won't let you copy!" link you included, actually says nothing of the sort. It reads:

    4. User Licence and Consent
    By submitting, posting or placing any information or other material on the Sony Sites (together, "Material") or accessing the Sony Sites, you grant to Sony a perpetual, royalty-free, non-exclusive, irrevocable, unrestricted, worldwide licence to do the following in respect of the Material:

    • use, copy, reproduce, adapt, communicate, transmit, broadcast make available, publish, print, publicly perform or display; and
    • sublicense to any person the unrestricted right to exercise any of these rights.

    In this case, Sony is allowed to use information that you submit. It does not say that you cannot copy MP3s.

    Next time, try finding something useful to support your argument.

  23. What I dont get.. by bludstone · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Is that if they claim billions of dollars lost from piracy, then why are these losses not spelled out in their tax forms?

    --

    no .sig
  24. Sigh. Is the idea of parity so hard to grasp by quintessencesluglord · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Forever time with this "If you don't like it, don't buy it" argument.

    No. If they don't like it, they don't have to sell it. I am tired of being an unpaid enforcer of their policies. Fact of the mater is they are introducing a product with an immature technology for protecting their interests. So they impose upon mine. Licensing be damned: I don't tell them how to spend the money used to purchase their product, so quit telling me how to use the product. If you don't like what I am going to do with a product, perhaps you shouldn't have sold it to me. Why should the onus be strictly upon me?

    I have to imagine basic piracy is also factored into the equation of their product offering (as well as buying off members of congress to pass legislation favorable to them). And for all the rampart piracy, they still continue to bring products to the market (albeit in crippled form). The terms of the licensing is just a means for them to keep collecting revenue while crying foul all-the-while. If I stopped payment on a check until they agreed to all of my terms of use, I doubt you'd be as sympathetic.

    EULAs, Steam, RIAAA; perhaps they should have researched to whom they are selling to instead of taking the money and bitching about it afterwards.

    1. Re:Sigh. Is the idea of parity so hard to grasp by Arker · · Score: 3, Insightful

      While I agree that that post wasn't as clear as it might have been, it made some good points.

      If they don't like it, they don't have to sell it.

      Makes zero logical sense.

      Makes great sense, actually. What he's saying is that they can't have their cake and eat it too. They want to sell things - they want our money - but then they don't want to accept all the consequences of that sale. When you say, "if you don't like it, you don't have to buy it" you're certainly making no more sense than this poster was when he reversed it on you and said "if they don't like it, then they don't have to sell it."

      The rest of your responses (Hooked on phonics for instance) really come off as being quite trollish, I must say. If an argument is "old and busted" fine, but it's not readily apparent that it is, and you need to back that assessment up with some sort of argument if you want it to be taken seriously.

      --
      =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
      Friends don't let friends enable ecmascript.
  25. It seems to be you who has difficulty grasping... by Arker · · Score: 2, Interesting

    A license is a grant of privileges. These 'licenses' on the other hand purport to grant no privileges, but rather to take away those that the purchaser already has.

    I agree with don't buy it - and I don't buy these things. I think it's important not to give money to people that are clearly planning to spend it to corrupt the legal system. But at the same time, I'm not about to take the position that you seem to be taking, that those who do purchase these things must follow the letter of 'licenses' that grant no license and 'agreements' that are not agreed upon.

    --
    =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
    Friends don't let friends enable ecmascript.
  26. Re:Sigh. Is the idea of licensing so hard to grasp by Mr_Silver · · Score: 2, Interesting
    On the other hand, it has been shown that you are welcome to take your purchased sony CD-ROMs and make Mp3s for them for your personal use on your sony MP3 players or whatnot.

    Remember the laws of the USA != the laws of other countries and this is, sadly, where your argument falls flat on its face.

    Here in the UK (and other countries) when you purchase a CD, you purchase a licence to listen to the music on that medium only.

    Therefore you cannot rip your music to MP3 and use it on your portable player without permission from the copyright holder. So buying a CD and dumping the contents onto your iPod is actually illegal.

    Having said that I'd hope no music company would be silly enough to try and get the law enforced, but you never know ...

    --
    Avantslash - View Slashdot cleanly on your mobile phone.
  27. In Other News by AnalogDiehard · · Score: 3, Funny
    The RIAA is suing Sears Craftsman claiming that their crowbars can be used to break open the doors of brick-and-mortar CD stores. The crowbars are blamed for heavy losses in CD sales although no proof has surfaced to support their claims.

    This just in... the President signed into law the latest anti-piracy bill banning the sale of Sharpie pens. With puppet strings visible the President remarked "Piracy of entertainment is a terrorist threat to our nation and must be confronted with swift decisive action" although his southern twang was curiously replaced with a heavy Austrian accent. The bill also retroactively forces all computer keyboards to have their shift keys removed.

    ...Another one from the wire... The MPAA has completed their assimulation of DVD and camcorder production lifeforms to "improve quality of life by ridding the universe of region free players and rogue movie theater pirates." The MPAA spokesborg reiterated their mission statement: "Resistance is futile. All your base are belong to us."

    --
    Eternity: will that be smoking, or non-smoking? I Corinthians 6:9-10
  28. Industry-standard Browser by Lord+Byron+II · · Score: 2, Funny

    The Sony agreement also requires the use of an "industry-standard browser". Sorry, IE users, you'll need Firefox to use their service.

  29. Share Media by rice_burners_suck · · Score: 2, Funny
    I'm going to open up a huge company. Using billions of investor dollars, I am going to buy all the record labels, all the music companies, all the studios and movie companies... In other words, all the content providers. I'll sell off all the portions of these companies that I don't need for my scheme.

    Then, I'll turn all of these into a new company. I'll call it "Share Media." This company will do three things:

    1. It will provide content. Music. Movies. Books. Software. All of these products will bear the "Share Media" name.
    2. It will provide technology to copy that content. MP3 players. CD and DVD recorders. Ripping and burning software. Filesharing software. All of these products will bear the "Share Media" name.
    3. It will litigate piracy cases. People who buy Share Media media and then share it through products made by Share Media will be sued for piracy.
    This will provide a good way for Share Media to make huge profits. Basically, people will buy our media, be encouraged to share it through the means we provide, and then we'll sue them for it.

    So I've finally figured it out!!!

    1. Invent something.
    2. Invent a way for people to share it.
    3. ??? (Sue people for sharing it.)
    4. Profit!!!
    Yup. That's Sony.
  30. The only way to make these lawsuits legit... by halcyon1234 · · Score: 2, Insightful

    ... would be if they ALSO sued the US Postal Service . How many bootlegged Metallica tracks did they aid and abet?