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No Honor Among Malware Purveyors

metalion writes "True to the saying 'no honor among thieves,' adware company, Avenue Media, is finding that competing adware company, DirectRevenue, is detecting and deleting their software. Now Avenue Media is crying foul and have filed a lawsuit against DirectRevenue stating that DirectRevenue 'knowingly and with intent to defraud, exceeded its authorized access to users' computers.' DirectRevenue acknowledges that it may uninstall competing applications in its user license agreement. A researcher at Harvard University, Ben Edelman, reasons that 'Once the computer is infected with 10 different unwanted programs, the person is likely to take some action to address the situation.' Just how far will adware companies go to continue to attempt to bombard us with their ads?"

92 of 416 comments (clear)

  1. Too funny by networkBoy · · Score: 5, Insightful

    We all have been complaining about malware for years. . .
    Now they are complaining about themselves.
    When does it stop?
    -nB

    --
    whois gawk date unzip strip find touch finger mount join nice man top fsck grep eject more yes exit umount sleep dump
    1. Re:Too funny by pete-classic · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hopefully it will stop with me complaining about you complaining about them complaining about each other.

      -Peter

    2. Re:too funny by Adriax · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Makes you wonder who the judge will side with.

      I'm hoping Avenue Media, I make good money removing spyware from people's machines.

      --
      I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
    3. Re:too funny by Rycross · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I don't really see a lesser of two evils, just two evils squabbling over who gets to screw you over.

    4. Re:Too funny by kawika · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Every adware/spyware company complains about their competitors. Each company always claims they are legitimate and that users love their software. It's always the "other guy" that is a sleazeball and giving the "contextual advertising" business a bad name.

    5. Re:too funny by Zaknafein500 · · Score: 3, Insightful

      You and me both. As much as I hate the stuff, spyware has just about made me a mint.

      --

      "The guide is definitive, reality is frequently inaccurate."
    6. Re:Too funny by tomhudson · · Score: 2, Funny
      Hey, this could be a Good Thing - an arms race among malware vendors to delete each others' crap.

      Between that and expending resources suing each other, there may be some light at the end of the tunnel.

    7. Re:Too funny by jafomatic · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I believe this would be called "Mutually Assured Deletion," and it would give us hope that someone will finally remember that the only winning move is not to play.

      --
      ::jafomatic
    8. Re:Too funny by pete-classic · · Score: 2, Insightful

      It's always hard to tell where a slashdot poster is coming from. That's doubly true of ACs.

      The idea of peace through threat of mutually assured destruction pre-dates Reagan. See, for example, the Wikipedia article on MAD. The idea that "the only winning move is not to play" certainly existed outside the movie, but it was the point of the movie. That movie was the way in which that idea, phrased in that way, solidified in the American consciousness.

      It's a shame that you choose to post anonymously, since I'd enjoy continuing this conversation.

      -Peter

    9. Re:Too funny by jc42 · · Score: 3, Interesting

      ... it would give us hope that someone will finally remember that the only winning move is not to play.

      Unfortunately, the effect of this was demoed nearly a decade ago, by none other than Microsoft, who has never been punished for their actions.

      When the first version of Windows Media Player came out, all the reviewers reported that after they'd tested it, they found all their other audio software was dead and had to be re-installed. And if they left any piece of WMP in their machine, any time it ran, all the non-MS audio software would again die and you'd have to reinstall it.

      My wife found out about this the hard way. She had some nice audio software. Then she installed some financial software (not from Microsoft). It silently installed WMP as a "bonus". All her quality audio software was broken. She reinstalled, but eventually gave up, because neither of us could figure out how to uninstall WMP. And it eventually developed an even more annoying behavior: When you started upsome audio using a high-quality player, WMP would start up in parallel. The two renditions would both come out of the speakers, out of sync by a couple seconds.

      She's now a very happy Mac user. She gave me her Windows box, and it's mostly turned off, except when I need to test something (mostly web pages) against Windows software.

      Anyway, in such cases "not to play" means you don't even try to sell your software to Windows users. It doesn't matter whether you were a good guy and cooperated with the others. WMP will kill you anyway.

      I know a number of audio-software developers who have become rather depressed by this. They can get put on MS's "good guys" list, of course, by selling the control of their software to MS. But they seem to have this silly idea that they should be able to build and sell their own software.

      There's really no reason that the spy/malware folks should ever stop shooting down other software. The only real solution is to keep their software out entirely. Or maybe jail them. I wouldn't think you'd need any new laws. Vandalism is already illegal everywhere. But such laws aren't enforced for software.

      I wonder if a vandalism charge could be successful against WMP?

      --
      Those who do study history are doomed to stand helplessly by while everyone else repeats it.
  2. This is great!! by Tetsugaku-San · · Score: 3, Funny

    Maybe they will destroy each other in an orgy of program deletion :D Neverthought spyware would be spyware removal . . . . .

  3. Spyware filing a lawsuit? by CrazyJim1 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Reminds me of the stories of people calling the police because someone stole their weed.

    1. Re:Spyware filing a lawsuit? by stanleypane · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Or even worse... Thieves breaking into houses and injuring themselves, only to sue the homeowner they were originally trying to steal from.

      I remember the 6 o'clock news reporting on a guy who tried to steal from a Chinese restaurant by crawling through the kitchen's exhaust at the top of the building. Unfortunately for him, he landed on a stove that was left on at the end of the day. And of course, the very next week he was suing for the injuries he had sustained as a result of his illegal activities. Don't know what the outcome was. Go figure.

      Off topic, I know. But my face gets red with anger each time I think of either scenario.

    2. Re:Spyware filing a lawsuit? by Quimo · · Score: 2, Informative

      Someone actually did this in Canada (Ontario) during the brief period of time where simple possesion of less than 30 grams was considered legal.
      Here is a link to the storry. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

      http://www.cbc.ca/stories/2003/07/22/stolen_mariju ana030722

    3. Re:Spyware filing a lawsuit? by gcaseye6677 · · Score: 2, Informative

      Most of these types of suits have been dismissed. Scopes.com has determined that a lot of them are urban legends. In response to a few of these criminals winning judgements, many states have passed laws making it nearly impossible for these suits to be filed. It definitely makes me ill to think someone could make money like this, but the system isn't quite as broken as it sounds.

  4. Firmware ADS. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting

    " Just how far will adware companies go to continue to attempt to bombard us with their ads?""

    When ads are burned into BIOSes.

    1. Re:Firmware ADS. by Computerguy5 · · Score: 5, Informative

      Already been done. IIRC, there was a public outcry and they gave the user an option to disable the 'feature.'

    2. Re:Firmware ADS. by d_strand · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Maybe they'll make it illegal to skip ads and comercials, but that would be too insane wouldn't it?

      oh wait....

  5. Now here's an idea by drinkypoo · · Score: 2, Interesting

    We should require by law that when a spyware application installs itself, it must uninstall another spyware application without damaging the host system, and further that it put itself into add/remove programs. Then we should just shoot the bastards that don't comply. Oughta solve the malware problem...

    --
    "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    1. Re:Now here's an idea by garcia · · Score: 3, Insightful

      We should require by law that when a spyware application installs itself, it must uninstall another spyware application without damaging the host system, and further that it put itself into add/remove programs.
      Just because it is listed in Add/Remove Software doesn't mean it is removed entirely.

    2. Re:Now here's an idea by danheskett · · Score: 3, Funny

      That'd be great! This is the very last law we need to pass, and then the problem of untrustworthy software, vendors, and tactics will be solved!

      Great! I am going to write my congressman and tell him to get busy writing the "Penultimate Fix for Unethical Software bill.

      Once Congress gets involved the problem will be solved within 6 months!

    3. Re:Now here's an idea by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

      > We should require by law that when a spyware application installs itself, it must uninstall another spyware application ...

      But on a clean install, there IS no spyware to uninstall. So how can you install the first program without breaking...wait, that's brilliant!

    4. Re:Now here's an idea by kahei · · Score: 4, Funny


      Wait, I have a better idea... don't do that first bit and go straight to shooting the bastards!

      --
      Whence? Hence. Whither? Thither.
  6. How far will they go? by sczimme · · Score: 4, Funny


    Just how far will adware companies go to continue to attempt to bombard us with their ads?

    A) As far as they think they need to go
    B) As far as they are allowed to go and remain on the right side of the law
    C) As far as they need to go despite the law
    D) All of the above
    E) Profit?
    F) CowboyNeal

    --
    I want to drag this out as long as possible. Bring me my protractor.
  7. a pit by gotem · · Score: 5, Funny

    great idea, put all the malware to fight, and the survivor gets to be deleted by spybot.
    More fun than core wars

    1. Re:a pit by jc42 · · Score: 2, Informative

      More fun than core wars

      Not really. Much of the fun of core wars is documenting the battle and figuring out why particular competitors have won. Core wars is generally played out on a machine set up for just that purpose, and the competitors are known beforehand.

      With malware, the battle is generally hidden, and you can't learn much from it. You just know that something's happened, because innocent bystanders (i.e., the software you want to run) has been injured in the battle. And you didn't volunteer your machine as a battlefield.

      --
      Those who do study history are doomed to stand helplessly by while everyone else repeats it.
  8. fight amongst yourselves by Se7enLC · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Now if only we could make these malware programs only target other malware programs and not the operation of the PC...

    We could have a little battlebots competition! The Amazing Bonzi takes on reigning champion THE GATOR.

  9. Hopefully they sue themselves out of business by Soulfarmer · · Score: 3, Interesting

    That way, competition would again benefit us, the regular consumer.

    Personally, ad/malware is one of the rare reasons I would encourage less strict weapon laws... :)

    --
    -Is the meaning of life vanity, or is vanity the meaning of life?
  10. If they succed . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Interesting

    If they succed with the lawsuit against DirectRevenu , what does that mean for software like ad-aware?

    1. Re:If they succed . . . by Politburo · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Well, since Ad-aware is run with the full consent of the user, I don't see how it would "exceed the authorizations of the user" or whatever the lawsuit language is.

    2. Re:If they succed . . . by Rycross · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Given that they're basing their argument on the asssumption that DirectRevenue "knowingly and with intent to defraud, exceeded its authorized access to users' computers," (Pot, I'd like you to meet Kettle...) I don't think there is much to worry about. Users running ad-aware are directly giving their consent to the program to modify their system.

    3. Re:If they succed . . . by GauteL · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Nothing. Ad-Aware's advertised main function is to remove adware.

      This lawsuit is about some adware going outside the boundaries of their advertised function, and removing other adware and only telling the users by the fine print of the EULA.

    4. Re:If they succed . . . by krgallagher · · Score: 2, Insightful
      "This lawsuit is about some adware going outside the boundaries of their advertised function, and removing other adware and only telling the users by the fine print of the EULA."

      But that is how most adware gets installed in the first place. If the fine print of the EULA is good enough to authorize an install, it should be good enough to authorize a removal. It is, after all, the end users computer. These companies act like they own the computer instead of the end user.

      --

      Insert Generic Sig Here:

    5. Re:If they succed . . . by ahodgson · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Jury nullification is considered one of the defenses against a bad law, and one of the reasons you are guaranteed a jury trial. Juries can and should return not-guilty verdicts in cases where they feel the law is a bad thing.

  11. Sometimes... by Ev0lution · · Score: 4, Funny
    Now Avenue Media is crying foul and have filed a lawsuit against DirectRevenue

    Sometimes you just wish that both sides can lose...

  12. Familiar... by which+way+is+up · · Score: 4, Funny

    Two programs fighting for dominance on my computer? Brings me back to my AOL on Windows days.

  13. Malware attacking malware... by bonaman_24 · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Ironic that they file a lawsuit of thier program being removed when they didn't (explicitly) ask permission to get there in the first place. Maybe we all should just download Virtual bouncer to clean off our systems....oh, wait....

  14. I hope the plaintif prevails by Total_Wimp · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I hope they win the lawsuit. If they were to get the courts to agree that hiding malicious wording in the EULA is fraud then that would be a nice boon to shutting some of these people down.

    In fact, just about any attack on the concept of click-through EULAs is pretty good in my book. Scream "contract!" all you want, they're bad for me personally and bad for the industry. Consent and informed consent are two different things and it appears the industry has completely abandonded any pretext of the latter.

    TW

    1. Re:I hope the plaintif prevails by Rich0 · · Score: 4, Interesting

      I think the reason that EULAs get away with that nonsense is that people are used to just clicking on them and the general impression is that they aren't terribly legally binding.

      Imagine that whenever you went to the grocery store you were handed a 12 page contract at the checkouts - every time. Imagine that you had to sign a 27 page document every time you bought gas. Imagine having your babysitter and yourself exchange 107 page contracts every time you went out to dinner.

      Contracts are great for their intended purpose - outlining rights and responsiblities in major transactions (your house, your car). They work best when you're talking about tangible things, or clearly defined services. Things are already getting murky when you start talking employment contracts and non-disclosure agreements. The standard we-can-kill-your-entire-family-and-you-can't-sue-u s things you get at the ski slopes are highly questionable.

      What is the point in having all these one-sided contracts for every possible action under the sun?

      Perhaps there should be a law that all contracts are reviewed for fairness by a state attourney. There would be a fee of about $100 for every contract that is executed - this can be split by the parties however they feel is fair. Something like this wouldn't be a big deal for a house sale (gosh, most areas charge 1% plus a bundle of other fees). On the other hand, if MS had to send the state $100 for every windows installation, they'd think twice about those contracts. Ditto for the million other documents that serve no purpose.

      Standard forms of business that have standard disclaimers should be covered by state law - such as a law stating what ski-lift operators are and are not responsible for. If they want to use a non-standard set of disclaimers, fine, but fork over $100 per customer. The state bears all the litigation costs when the contract is disputed - this lets them approve the contract before there is anything to argue over.

      I wonder if a concept like this could actually work?

    2. Re:I hope the plaintif prevails by rainman_bc · · Score: 3, Interesting

      IANAL, but the easiest defence to this lawsuit is to prove that the plantif has been deceiving users into installing their software, and have been doing illegal activities.

      Of course that also might incriminate the defendant. But you can't sue for damages over an illegal activity.

      Let's hope they get a judge who's had a computer taken over by spyware / adware...

      --
      09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
    3. Re:I hope the plaintif prevails by MrResistor · · Score: 4, Interesting

      The EULA is pivotal. Because of their EULA Direct Revenue can say they removed AvenueMedia's software with the users consent. For AvenueMedia to have a leg to stand on, they first have to prove that click-through EULAs aren't valid. Otherwise, Direct Revenue has a strong arguement that their software is just doing what the user told it to.

      --
      Under capitalism man exploits man. Under communism it's the other way around.
    4. Re:I hope the plaintif prevails by Rich0 · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I hope you're joking. The AG's office would be overloaded with a backlog of contracts to "be reviewed" because company XYZ just modified the terms of Widget X. I take offense to the fact that you don't believe people aren't able to determine what is or is not "fair". Wouldn't you agree that a more pragmatic approach is to say a the parties involved decide what or is not fair? You don't like the terms, don't buy it.

      The fact of the matter is that most people don't like those one-sided agreements. However, they have become standard practice because of the various economies of limited-supply industries. If you want to go skiing there are probably at most ten places to do so in most normal areas. You won't find any variety in the disclaimers they make you sign (probably because they're all insured by the same company).

      Car manufacturers would do the same thing if it weren't for lemon laws. Every industry would like to get rid of liability for the products they sell. Consumers generally don't have much power here, and laws have generally given them the leverage they've needed in the past.

      As far as the AG's office being backlogged - I doubt this would happen:

      First, the fees would be designed to cover most of the costs of the review, so they could hire more attourneys for this purpose. (It doesn't have to cover all of it, the state is already saving tons of money by heading up litigation in advance - murcky contracts would never get signed in the first place.)

      Second, the fees would eliminate most of the contracts you sign these days. Where right now you waive 1400 separate rights every time you get a grocery discount store, in the future they might just hand you their privacy policy, and that's it. If they don't write a contract, then there is no fee to pay. Standard law and the precedence set in the courts would become the equitable standard for how business is conducted. Once upon a time that is probably how it all worked - I doubt that George Washington had to sign an agreement to get fair prices at the local butcher's shop. He probably didn't even sign an agreement when he bought a horse. Maybe when he bought a house, but probably not when he had somebody fix the roof on it.

      My feeling is that the average person should be able to recall every binding document they've ever signed if they think hard enough. I couldn't remember all the trivial ones I've signed in the last six months. And I certainly didn't read them all completely first before signing them!

      By getting rid of the garbage, the few real contracts that remain will be seriously negotiated and well-considered. That should reduce litigation overall. And it gives power to the average consumer over the company that forces you give up your right to sue to do business with them.

  15. Mr. Kettle's comments upon Mr. Pot's reflectivitiy by wowbagger · · Score: 5, Funny
    ...knowingly and with intent to defraud, exceeded its authorized access to users' computers.

    Mr. Kettle, a question upon your comments about Mr. Pot's absense of reflectivity to EM radiation between 680nm and 430nm....

    Really, doesn't ALL adware exceed authorize access to user's computers?

  16. Hard to get excited... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

    It's nice to think that at least one adware purveyor is going to be inconvenienced by this little tussle, but it's not so uplifting when you consider that the choice of winners is "adware company #1", "adware company #2", or "lawyers who represent adware companies".

  17. Not so great... by Ayaress · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'd like nothing better than to see two spyware companies destroy one another in a glorious battle to the death, but I'd much rather they NOT do it on MY harddrive.

  18. Exceeded its authorized access? by ClubStew · · Score: 4, Insightful
    exceeded its authorized access to users' computers

    And is my mom and other not-so-savvy users granting said authority in the first place? This suit seems riddled with assumptions that it was legal in the first place to install such software.

    And since when has malware displayed any EULA - or any UI, for that matter?

  19. What's fair is fair by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    I think AvenueMedia deserves to be compensated for this. Let's give their owners the nicer of the two jail cells.

  20. Spy Vs. Spy by SCOX_Free · · Score: 2, Funny

    Am I the only one who thought of MAD magazine's Spy Vs. Spy when I read this? Didn't they both end up killing eachother everytime?

  21. Playing CoreWars the Internet... by mikael · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I wondered how long we would have to wait for this to happen. I always imagined it would be university students or black-hats. I never imagined it would be spammers/spyware authors trying to kill each other's programs.

    --
    Vintage computer adverts: http://www.vintageadbrowser.com/computers-and-software-ads
  22. After removing competitors, DR transmits ... by bedelman · · Score: 5, Informative

    Perhaps also of interest:

    After DirectRevenue removes competitors' programs from users' disks, it also transmits extensive information about users' computers. Among the information: MAC address, Windows Product ID, all running tasks, and registry entrise for certain additional competitors (Gator, 180solutions) and removal programs (Ad-Aware, PestPatrol) if installed.

  23. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 2, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  24. Too many geek quotes to apply here by genner · · Score: 2, Funny

    Two ads enter one ad leaves!

    There can be only one!

    Gah.. my brain.

  25. Re:Well... by vettemph · · Score: 4, Insightful
    Maybe then people will take some action against these bullshit programs.

    We have, It's called Linux.

    Mozilla is the key along with a system that is better suited to internet attachment.

    --
    The government which is strong enough to protect you from everything is strong enough to take everything from you.
  26. This is great. by baadfood · · Score: 2, Funny

    Enough shit like this and no Judge will ever take an EULA seriously.

  27. Cool! by MillionthMonkey · · Score: 5, Funny
    We may be witnessing the establishment of an entirely new biome with its own form of species and evolution.

    What spyware writers need to do now is add the following features to their code:
    • Random mutations
    • Breeding and crossover with other spyware programs so that chunks of similar malicious code are exchanged
    • A fitness evaluation function
    The fitness evaluation should take into account:
    • A penalty for network infrastructure damage
    • Number of competing spyware programs "eaten" by an individual
    • Number of idiots knocked off the Internet
    1. Re:Cool! by MillionthMonkey · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Unfortunately, we don't get to pick an arbitrary fitness evaluation. If spyware does damage to our network infrastructure, and yet delivers the most advertising, spamming and phishing revenue, it is fit as spyware.

      Actually it only needs to deliver advertising/spamming/phishing revenue. If it hitches a ride on a worm, that would make it even more fit.
      Damage to the network is a "neutral" trait until it starts to interfere with spyware downloads.

  28. Installation through security holes by bedelman · · Score: 2, Informative

    I have personally observed -- and recorded in screen-capture videos -- the software of both plaintiff and defendant, installed through security holes.

    See e.g. Who Profits from Security Holes?.

  29. Perhaps they should sue their customers by 91degrees · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Clearly, its the customer who is giving the other application permission to uninstall the exisitng malware. The vendors of the other application have no influence or stake in the agreement between the exisitng malware authors and the user. The only party that can breach the agreement is the user.

    So, the users should be punished for violating the copyright on the software they didn't want in the first place, and was installed without their knowledge.

  30. I don't expect this kind of... by bob670 · · Score: 5, Interesting
    thing to be an easy answer to home users, but someone has to explain to me why corporate customers continue to tolerate this stuff that is directly targeted at Windows weak spots? It would be tough, and damn unlikely to get mom, pop and granny off of their Windows XP machines, but I have several customers who spend all day in Office, e-mail and the web for all of their business and I make a steady buck doing spyware removal. And they dont' want to talk prevention, every meeting ends with "well, we just won't allow employees to install things like this any longer" and 2 months later I get a call to come back.

    Barring use of some Windows based Spyware prevention tools (most of which aren't free for corporate use), mirgating to some combination of Mac OS X and Linux would end virtually all of this and then I could charge them for stuff like implementing cool new tools for them to use instead of upkeep of a broken system. Of course, these are the same customers who won't try FireFox because it "just doesn't feel right"???

    I'm truly torn between my ethics and the need to keep up my income in a crap economy.

    1. Re:I don't expect this kind of... by Lurker · · Score: 2, Interesting
      I remember when apple had decent market share, I also remember the countless viruses(wdef,nvir). Strangely problem that went away after mac's marketshare dwindled in the mid 90s.

      If I recall, there were less than 60 viruses for the classic Mac OS (versions 9 and below.) If that's your idea of countless, what do you call the number of Windows viruses? Ultra-infinite?

  31. Advertisers in general are going insane by wowbagger · · Score: 5, Insightful
    I'd submitted this gem to /., but they obviously felt it wasn't news.

    A lady in El Paso gets a telemarketing call. She says no, repeatedly. Telemarketer ignores her, repeatedly. She hangs up, forcefully.

    She later gets a letter saying:

    Jill Beyer,

    Before you are rude to another telemarketer, you should keep in mind that he or she has your phone number and your address.

    Many of them live in your own state and most don't give a (expletive)!

    So, Ms. Beyer, the next time a telemarketer calls and you don't want to be bothered, a simple "not interested" will do.

    Your son or daughter or next-door neighbor's daughter could very well be a telemarketer. A handicapped, wheelchair-bound person could be a telemarketer. A biker or ex-con is more likely to be a telemarketer. You really, really shouldn't (expletive) with them!

    As they say in the telemarketing industry, "Have a good day Ms. Beyer!"


    So, we have:
    • Television stations prohibiting us from recording shows (via the broadcast bit)
    • TV execs saying "skipping commercials is theft"
    • Telemarketers threatening those who will not listen to their pitches.
    • Adware companies fighting over who can infest your computer.
    • Drive-by installs of adware


    OK, I move that we commit all advertisers to institutions for the criminally insane, right now.

    Any seconds?
    1. Re:Advertisers in general are going insane by JesusCigarettes · · Score: 2, Informative

      I have to say, having worked as a telephone interviewer for a survey company, that this isn't nearly as unreasonable as it sounds from the article. People are insufferably rude when they receive unsolicited calls. I can understand not appreciating telemarketing calls or telephone surveys, but simply saying "Please place me on your 'Do Not Call' list" is always a sufficient way to deal with telemarketers.

      And when you're calling someone for a survey, and you say "Hello, my name is Ketan from ***** Marketing Research and today we're conducting a survey" and they respond "FUCK YOU BITCH I don't want to buy none of your shit", it's very frustrating. Especially when you reply "Sir/Ma'am, I'm not trying to sell you anything" and they respond "Yes you are! Don't lie to me!".

      Here are some examples of hilarious things that happen when you call people for surveys. Some of them are funny, but most of your calls just reaffirm that people are incapable of being polite or caring in any way.

      Me: Hi, I'm calling from *** and we're--
      Respondent: Keep it, buddy, I'm gettin' laid! [tries to hang up, picks up, dials number very quickly]

      Me: Hi, I'm calling from ***--
      Older Woman: Hiiiiii! How are--
      Little Kid: GET OFF THE PHONE! GET OFF THE PHONE! Sorry, she's crazy.

      Justin: Hi, I'm calling from ***--
      Female Respondent: You just interrupted the best blow job ever.
      Justin: I am so, so sorry.

      Me: Hello, I'm calling from *** Marketing and we're conducting a survey for *Cellular Company*. May I please speak to Edmund or someone in your house who has service with *Cell Company*?
      Respondent: I'm Edmund. I hate everybody. Bye.

      Me: Is the person White, Asian, Hispanic, African American, or some other race?
      Respondent: Yeah, we're all Hispanic here. We migrated down from Hispania. [N.B. he was joking]

      Pat: When would be a good time to call you back?
      Respondent: Probably about a year from now.
      Pat: A year? Awesome! [N.B. he was serious]

      Drew: I assure you we're not trying to sell you anything.
      Respondent: You are trying to sell something! All of these surveys are just attempts to sell stuff! Let me tell you all about how it's all bullshit and you're just trying to advertise to me.
      Drew: Thank you sir. Have a nice day.

    2. Re:Advertisers in general are going insane by eric76 · · Score: 3, Funny

      I used to like to have fun with the sales men/women.

      One time this one lady called and the conversation went like this:

      Woman: Good afternoon. May I speak to Mrs eric76?
      Me: No.
      Woman: Why not?
      Me: She's being punished and isn't allowed to speak to anyone for another week.
      Woman (in a rather cautious voice): Oh! I see.

      and then she hung up.

      Another time I told a telemarketer that Mrs eric76 was busy screwing one of the neighbors.

      My favorite was a woman from San Antonio that called for some kind of radio survey. I tried to see how long I could talk to her on the telephone and about anything but radio.

      Every time she tried to ask me about radio stations in my area, I'd ask her a question about San Antonio.

      Not only did I ask her about restraunts, I asked her about several friends of mine who lived in or near San Antonio. It turned out that she had never met any of them!

    3. Re:Advertisers in general are going insane by Feanturi · · Score: 2, Insightful

      but simply saying "Please place me on your 'Do Not Call' list" is always a sufficient way to deal with telemarketers

      Nope, it makes me angry, and it's good to express one's anger. And if enough people express it, maybe we can have our phones back at last. The anger comes from not just your call, no. It comes because your call has come as the second or third time that day that I have been pulled away from what I was doing, ran to a phone that I had been waiting for for some other reason, and it's someone presuming to butt into my private time to try to sell me something. Some people tolerate it fine, good for them. Some people just really want someone to talk to (I've done telemarketing at one point actually, so I know this). The rest of us are busy having our lives, and unless you're going to make a contribution to at least my phone bill, stay the hell off my phone. I pay for it to be used for my purposes, you can't reasonably presume that my priorities include salesmen in my own home at any time that is convenient to them. Friends, family, certainly, these are priorities. Others are trespassers.

  32. and how long before by hsmith · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Users are sued for deleting malware off their computer? where do you go from here?

    1. Re:and how long before by dago · · Score: 2

      Well, accoring to Jamie Kellner (CEO of Turner Broadcasting : "Anytime you skip a commercial ... you're actually stealing the programming.".

      Not counting such propositions ...
      it'll be there before you'll be moderated as funny.

      --
      #include "coucou.h"
  33. Re:Mr. Kettle's comments upon Mr. Pot's reflectivi by mOdQuArK! · · Score: 2, Interesting

    IANAL, but this is /. :P

    Most 1st world legal systems (not sure whether the U.S. qualifies any more) have a "fine print" legal exemption - you can't put something onerous into an agreement and then try and hide it via tactics like fine print, or clicking through 76 pages, etc. Such clauses can be invalidated in the court.

    Basically, you can't put stuff in the fine print that a "reasonable" person wouldn't expect to be agreeing to in the context of the agreement being reached.

  34. Re:When it will stop. by teromajusa · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Unlike a real parasite, malware's goal isn't just to survive and reproduce - it goal is to generate revenue. I don't see how a company can generate revenue by secretly installing truely benign software on your system.

  35. They'll never stop by Scutter · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Just how far will adware companies go to continue to attempt to bombard us with their ads?

    I remember reading this short story once about an ad-infested world where there were ads on every available surface. On your toilet paper, on your pancakes, on every square inch of wall, *everywhere*. One image was the protagonist attempting to shave (with difficulty) by looking through a letter "O" on his mirror. He finally gets fed up and he meets a woman who offers him a secret place to go to get away from ads for a few hours at a time. The twist was that the tiny one-room ad-free apartment was actually a government-run re-education facility to brainwash "ad-hating dissidents" to start accepting ads again.

    Anyone know this story or remember the name? Now that us TiVo people are considered TV thieves, I'm starting to feel the story to be prophectic.

    --

    "Tell me doctor, with all of your defenses, are there any provisions for an attack by killer bees?"
    1. Re:They'll never stop by Trifthen · · Score: 2, Interesting

      That makes me think of another point. If ads become so pervasive that they're on every surface, everywhere; like spam, who has time to read them all? Seriously, if ads were everywhere, they'd just start blurring together.

      Heck, we already see so many ads today, that I can't describe to you the last Ad I saw. Web ads? TV ads? Billboards? Radio? Magazines? Newspapers? It doesn't matter. The human brain works by recording general traits, only getting specific if something stands out, or you make a mental note. With so many ads, it seems like people are starting to see ads, think "Just another ad... ignore," and move on with their lives. How does this help advertisers of any kind?

      Yet oddly enough, advertisers will break their backs to find new places to put ads. So I demand more ads! The more I see, the less I'll notice. Bring 'em on, bitch!

      --
      Read: Rabbit Rue - Free serial nove
  36. Re:When it will stop. by wcb4 · · Score: 2, Informative

    I think you are confusing a symbiotic relationship with a parasitic one. In a symbiotic relationship, each gets somethign out of the relationship, so there is no need to complain. A Parasite, such as a tapeworm, does harm the host over time

    --
    I reject your reality ... and substitute my own.
  37. Re:When it will stop. by michrech · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Why, that'd be by making their software take up very little space, ONLY monitor, for example, what web sites you are visiting (something that should take very little CPU time, or could even be scheduled to run in the wee-hours, and then, again in the wee-hours, reporting back to it's home company.

    Said home company could then gather up all the data, find out what sites are being visited the most, and direct their 'customers' to advertise at said sites.

    If done properly, even 10 of these types of programs should not be noticable...

    Or something...

    Off to the patent office with me! Gotta patent the idea before them aweful software companies steal it!

    --
    bork bork bork!
  38. hum by zobi · · Score: 2, Insightful
    The EULA displayed during DirectRevenue's adware installation states:
    "You further understand and agree, by installing the software, that the software may, without any further prior notice to you, remove, disable or render inoperative other adware programs resident on your computer..."
    If the legal suite goes in favor of DirectRevenue, it will be matter of days before this kind of EULA is modified, to allow adware programs to uninstall adware-removal tools as well!
  39. Honor among thieves by swb · · Score: 2, Insightful

    I thought that there *was* honor among thieves, the contradictory nature of the statement "There is honor among thieves" giving it its resonance.

    1. Re:Honor among thieves by tootlemonde · · Score: 3, Informative

      I thought that there *was* honor among thieves...

      The correct phrase is "There is honor even among thieves", apparently first recorded in 1630. Also, "Thieves are never rogues among themselves."

      There's an authoritative discussion here. (The ODEP mentioned is the Oxford Dictionary of English Proverbs).

  40. Re:When it will stop. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative
    A RL parasite is benign to the host.

    Not quite. A parasite, by definiton, is an organism that harms its host. According to something I read a long time ago, there are three types of cohabitating organisms. A parasite harms its host, a symbiont benefits its host, and a commensal neither harms nor helps its host. It's the last one you were thinking of.

  41. More defensive stance for malware by hoyty · · Score: 3, Interesting

    In trying to clean a laptop yesterday I used Ad-Aware SE. At the end of its scanning process it allows you to select what to remove. When I got to this point one of the malwares took control of Ad-Aware quickly and added itself to the ignore list. I found this quite amazing. Part of the ignore was some of CWS, but there were other things there as well. I was able to scan again and remove the ignores. This new trend is mildly disturbing.

    --
    Hoyty
  42. Re:Well... by saider · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Windows itself isn't too bad if you are behind a firewall. I have several WinXP machines behind a simple NAT firewall and I have never had a problem. Simply keep it patched, Substitute IE/Outlook/Office for Mozilla/OpenOffice.org and you are good to go.

    I have been running this for 3 years and every time I run a virus scan, it always comes back negative. It's nice because I don't need to pay the Symantec-McAffee tax every year. People always ask me whay virus program I use and they are very puzzled when I say "I don't need one".

    Mozilla/OpenOffice need a retail box to put on the shelves in the antivirus section at BestCircuitDepotUSA, along with a little common sense about Internet useage on the back of the box.

    --


    Remember, You are unique...just like everyone else.
  43. Re:May I be the first by CTalkobt · · Score: 3, Funny

    >> Or 32nd as the case may be, to say:
    >> Serves the fuckers right

    Geesh. I was about to mark you as redundant before I posted this but then realized that you're claiming to be the 32nd one to post it, not the 1st.

    *goes off looking for another person claiming to be the 32nd poster of Servers the **** right so he can mark them*

    Wait, I posted.

    Drat. Darnit. (^&(^*&^*

    Mark me up/down according to your sense of humour.

    --
    There's a gorilla from Manilla whose a fella that stinks of vanilla and has salmonella.
  44. Re:When it will stop. by Bertie · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Not benign - there's nothing much benign about malaria, for instance. It's not about not affecting your host, it's about not killing it, and that's true of malware as much as it is of a biological parasite.

  45. Why, what's wrong with ads? by RealProgrammer · · Score: 4, Interesting

    In about 1995 I worked for a telemarketer. Yeah, I know. Anyway, I sat in a meeting once with some people from a trendy ad agency. They said one of the best ways to market things on the Internet was to visit newsgroups and message boards (what we now call blogs), and ask a question as one user, then provide the answer as another. The answer, of course, would advertize Our Fine Product.

    I told them that was lying, and that it was wrong. They looked at me blankly. I may as well have been speaking Latin. I then explained a bit about Internete culture, and the negative feedback of spamming newsgroups. That, they could comprehend, but they didn't think I knew what I was talking about. Their model worked - and it wasn't lying, it was just business.

    The mindset of people who spam, sell banner ads, use covert marketing, and advertize on Channel One is (to overgeneralize): whatever it takes to make money.

    It doesn't matter what is "right" or "wrong" - rightness and wrongness are a matter of degree, and that degree is measured by a cost-benefit equation. If the

    (likely revenue) > X% + sum of (potential costs * likelihood of each)

    that's good and "right", otherwise it's bad and "wrong". 'X' represents the amount of margin you could make off some other investment.

    The thing that distinguishes telemarketers and spammers is that negative feedback from non-customers doesn't bother them.

    --
    sigs, as if you care.
  46. I don't know about the rest of you.. by TiggertheMad · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...but this just made my christmas! Since Santa seems to think I have been a good boy, I have a few more things to ask for...

    1) A video tape of rival gangs of spammers getting in knife fights over ISP bandwith 'turf'.

    2) Microsoft's Yakuzza getting irritated with SCO's failures to bring down Linux, and doing drive-bys shootings to the board menbers.

    3) George Bush Jr. getting in a sissy slap-fight with John Ashcroft over the pronunciation of the word 'Nucular'.

    --

    HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
  47. Re:When it will stop. by Anarke_Incarnate · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Somebody flunked biology class. A real parasite is not benign to the host. That sounds like a symbiote. Parasites by their nature take the resources from a host for their own. When was the last time you saw someone with a tapeworm that had no symptoms? How about ameobic dysentery? Does that sound like benign? Perhaps Giardia Lamblia? No? They cause severe disturbances to the host including fevers, bleeding, diarrhea and vomiting. Check your info.

  48. A vs P by Yolegoman · · Score: 2, Funny

    Whoever wins, we lose.

  49. Genertic Algorithim in Action by TiggertheMad · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I've wondered for years when someone would write the first true 'genetic algorithim' based worm/virus. It would be a fantastic and alternately, horrible landmark in computer science.

    However, there is no point in designing a fitness evaluation. In real natural processes, the fitness evaluation is competition for resources. The only reason why it has to be introduced into modeled simulations is that there is no real competition in a model unless you include it. The real fitness evaluator of a virus is how easily it can spread, how hard it is to detect, and how difficult it is to remove.

    --

    HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
  50. EULAs not intended to be read by ae · · Score: 2, Insightful

    When I got my IBM ThinkPad X31 about a year ago, I figured I might as well try to boot Windows just once to see what kind of hardware-specific tools IBM supplied. (Trying to get a refund for an operating system I did not want was not possible, since IBM made it clear, that if you did not agree to the licenses of all the supplied software, you were free to return the laptop, which, of course, was not an option.)

    I didn't get very far, though. Before it would boot (acutally, install Windows from a restore parition) the software wanted my to agree to two click-through EULAs, one from Microsoft and one from IBM. The funny part is that the license texts, which would have required tens of pages each if printed for sure, was displayed in two tiny text areas, only three text lines high. There was no option to save or print the licenses, and, if I call correctly, there was even some music playing in the background.

    The point is, noone is intended to read these texts. I'm not sure what implications that has for the validity of this kind of licenses in various jurisdictions (IANAL etc), but the whole situation is just weird.

    (Needless to say, I powered off the machine at that point and net-booted a Debian installer.)

    --
    Blog Ho
  51. Actually, this brings to light a larger question.. by Ratphace · · Score: 4, Insightful


    ...and that question is just how binding is a company allowed to make its EULA?

    I think all the EULA's are out of control as to how much control and ownership these companies have over your PC and what right's we as owners of the PC should have reserved.

    I keep hoping someday, someone, somewhere will really bring all these EULA's that we are all subjected to each and everytime we install something, under a microscope and start really questioning the legality of said EULA's.

    Just my 2 cents...

  52. EULA protected virus by Naito · · Score: 2, Funny

    someone needs to write one, then we can really test the legality of this spyware "it's (hidden) in the EULA!" crap.

  53. Here's the court filing by Animats · · Score: 2, Interesting
    Here's the court filing. It's in the U.S. District Court in Seattle, WA. None of the parties are there; DirectMedia is in New York, and Avenue Media is in Curacao. But DirectMedia claims that Seattle is appropriate because the software is sometimes used there.

    Avenue Media is claiming "tortious interference with contract" on the grounds that DirectMedia is interfering with their contractual relationships with their customers. This is in addition to their Computer Fraud and Abuse Act claim. The rationale, presumably, is that if they can show some kind of illegal act under the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, their "tortious interference" claim might go somewhere.

    Some anti-spyware group might want to file a friend-of-the-court brief. The best possible ruling would be that both parties are violating the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, and therefore DirectMedia cannot claim to come to court with clean hands.

  54. Re:Well... by brkello · · Score: 3, Interesting

    True, it is more tricky than some programs to remove, but if you are able to figure out how to set up Linux, you are certainly smart enough to go google on how to remove it from start up. I don't really understand your concept of a firewall. Make it so tight that you can't even get on Internet? What kind of piss poor firewall are you using. Most firewalls allow you to block based on application. The notice pops up that messenger is trying to access the net, you say deny, tell it to remember that setting, you are done. Amazing, I still have Internet access.

    As far as never knowing because Windows is proprietary...that's a load of bullshit too. Stick a sniffer in between your box and the net. An old PC with Linux and ethereal installed will do. Watch the traffic. There is no way that they can hide anything proprietary or open source. So when was the last time you read through the whole kernel to make sure it was doing what you expected it to do?

    --
    Support a great indie game: http://www.abaddon360.com
  55. Re:Well... by squiggleslash · · Score: 2, Insightful
    Spyware tends to be loaded by users when browsing the web and coming across content that purportedly requires an ActiveX plug-in to view. If you're not suffering Spyware, it's not because of any NAT gateway/firewall, it's because you haven't visited those links and/or reflexedly hit "OK" and/or used a non-ActiveX supporting browser.

    And don't think the latter is a perfect solution. I've seen sites prompt me to install .xpis into Firefox. The damage potential of the latter is slightly reduced compared to ActiveX, but you can bet that if there was no useful reason to be sending them, the authors wouldn't be wasting their time sending them.

    I gave a neighbour access to the Internet via my DSL connection and wireless network a few months ago and all but revoked her access within two or three months because I had to clear up her PC of malware twice. Her son had been browsing certain dubious websites and had installed the malware, fed up of constant prompts to install it and under the assumption he had to to view the content. NAT is not enough to secure a PC.

    --
    You are not alone. This is not normal. None of this is normal.
  56. Re:Well... by DaFallus · · Score: 2

    We have, It's called Linux.

    I hate it when people give an answer like this. You do realize that as soon as the majority of the computing population begins to use Linux or some other variety of open source, that the assholes that create and release viruses and spyware/adware will start writing such things for Linux. The only reason they don't do so now (well, they do, but it isn't nearly as common as Windows malware) is because Windows dominates the market, mainly because the average person won't use Linux because they don't know how or want to recompile the kernel everytime they want to upgrade their video card.

    --
    No one cares what your captcha was

    Houston TX, USA