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SCO Shares Plunge, Canopy Management Change

Posted by samzenpus on from the that's-a-shame dept.

bretberger writes "Shares in Utah's SCO Group went into a tailspin late Tuesday as news spread of both deepening losses and an apparent coup at the software company's corporate parent, the Canopy Group."

36 of 400 comments (clear)

  1. Good news by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Lots of good news before XMas. Best christmas present if you ask me. No software patents in EU, Microsoft fined and SCO stock down. What more can one ask?

    1. Re:Good news by switcha · · Score: 2, Funny
      What more can one ask?

      Five words:

      My living room. Natalie. Grits.

      --
      You know what? ... A little club soda *did* get that out!
    2. Re:Good news by pitdingo · · Score: 1, Funny

      I wold prefer just being able to f***ing play World of Warcraft without the servers being down or having to endure their horrid patch system!!

  2. News? by neoform · · Score: 5, Funny

    Is this really news, who here actually thought SCO was gonna win? really though..

    --
    MABASPLOOM!
    1. Re:News? by grub · · Score: 5, Funny


      Yeah, exactly. And when Laura DiDio said: "The fate of SCO is one of the big question marks. New management at Canopy . . . may push [SCO] to try and settle." I was thinking "Settle for what? Not having IBM kick their collective asses into orbit around the sun?" I don't think they're in much of a position to try bargaining.

      --
      Trolling is a art,
    2. Re:News? by tdemark · · Score: 5, Funny

      IBM Laywer: I'm thinking of a number. I'll write it down on a piece of paper.
      SCO Lawyer: OK

      The IBM lawyer grabs a pen a scribbles on a sheet of paper, folds the paper in half, and slides it across the table. The SCO lawyer reaches, picks up the paper, unfolds it, and sees this:

      ----------------
      | |
      | _ |
      | / \ |
      | / \ |
      | | | |
      | | | |
      | \ / |
      | \_/ |
      | |
      |______________|

      IBM Laywer: Do we have an agreement?

      - Tony

    3. Re:News? by Otter · · Score: 4, Funny
      Nice ASCII illustration but you forgot the punchline:

      Burns: I'm going to write a figure on this piece of paper. It's not quite as large as the last one, but I think you'll find it fair. [draws a giant zero]

      Hutz: I think we should take it.

      --
      What I'm listening to now on Pandora...
    4. Re:News? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      SCO Lawyer #1: Give me a moment to discuss this with my associate.

      SCO Lawyer #1: (aside to SCO Lawyer #2): dude he totally drew a vagina. We're gonna get PUSSY!

      SCO Lawyer #2: (to #1): I know it! It's 100% grade A putang for us! Daryl is gonna be STOKED! I'm gonna step out and call him now. (steps out) Dude! Pop open a foamer and sit down, Christmas is coming early this year.......

      #1 (to IBM Lawyer, stifling laughter and adjusting pants): All right, we've considered your offer and are prepared to accept it. Do we, uh, accept it here or somewhere else?

      IBM Lawyer: What the fuck are you talking about?

  3. WOW! Now it's cheap! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Great time to buy! Remember kids, buy low, sell high!

    1. Re:WOW! Now it's cheap! by rzebram · · Score: 5, Funny

      1,000 SCO shares.. The perfect gift for your in-laws for Christmas!

    2. Re:WOW! Now it's cheap! by molnarcs · · Score: 4, Funny
      Great time to buy! Remember kids, buy low, sell high!

      I don't think that's a good idea. When I'm high I don't make very good deals.

    3. Re:WOW! Now it's cheap! by unoengborg · · Score: 3, Funny

      True, but what if they allready have toilet paper?

      --
      God is REAL! Unless explicitly declared INTEGER
  4. Canopy Group? by Pacifix · · Score: 4, Funny

    Isn't that name kinda ominous? A canopy blocks out the sun, gets everybody under one thing and cuts you off from the primal forces. Perhaps something more honest, like maybe COBRA?

    1. Re:Canopy Group? by robyannetta · · Score: 3, Funny

      Originally, they were known as Umbrella Co. but then someone made a video game from it called it Resident Evil.

      --
      - Just my $0.02, take with a grain of salt, your mileage may vary.
    2. Re:Canopy Group? by imsabbel · · Score: 2, Funny

      no, the real tragedy is that the greatparent is moderated informativ....

      --
      HI O WISE PRINCE. WHT TOOK U SO DAM LONG?
    3. Re:Canopy Group? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      What will happen once somebody manages to patent fission?

      I suspect the sun would continue its fusion reaction without noticing...

  5. I know it's trite, but: by Just+Some+Guy · · Score: 2, Funny

    AH-HAH
    </nelson>

    Seriously, SCO should be in the OED under "schadenfreude". I love seeing this stuff!

    --
    Dewey, what part of this looks like authorities should be involved?
    1. Re:I know it's trite, but: by soliptic · · Score: 2, Funny

      Lisa: Dad, do you know what Schadenfreude is?
      Homer: No, I do not know what shaden-frawde is.
      [sarcasm] Please tell me, because I'm dying to know.
      Lisa: It's a German term for `shameful joy', taking pleasure in the suffering
      of others.
      Homer: Oh, come on Lisa. I'm just glad to see him fall flat on his butt!
      [getting mad]
      He's usually all happy and comfortable, and surrounded by loved ones,
      and it makes me feel... What's the opposite of that shameful joy
      thing of yours?
      Lisa: [nastily] Sour grapes.
      Homer: Boy, those Germans have a word for everything!

  6. Re:Canopy Group? Dont you mean ... by UnderScan · · Score: 4, Funny

    Umbrella Corporation?

  7. The new Canopy CEO is... by schon · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... Colonel Mustard, in the boardroom, with a letter opener.

  8. WHY?? by burbankmarc · · Score: 5, Funny

    Now how are people going to get their license for Linux?!

  9. I for one am shocked! by pjwalen · · Score: 4, Funny

    I was certain the, honorable and the trusted SCO Software would come out ahead of those socialist pirates known as Linux users. Who's with me?

  10. Sucker! by Darth+McBride · · Score: 5, Funny

    Attorney David Boies of New York agreed to cap the overall cost of SCO's lawsuits to $31 million in return for a bigger piece - 33 percent, instead of 20 percent - of any settlements.

    Dear David,

    We ran out of money, but we will give you an even bigger slice of nothing.

    Love,
    Darl

  11. Re:but the real question is... by tha_mink · · Score: 5, Funny

    SCO is a software company??? All this time I thought they were just a legal firm...just me?

    --
    You'll have that sometimes...
  12. can you hear this? by WormholeFiend · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'm playing the world's smallest violin for SCO.

  13. we can't let this happen by pyrrho · · Score: 5, Funny

    I don't have time to learn a new villian.

    --

    -pyrrho

  14. License issues? by pgfault · · Score: 2, Funny

    Setting: The boss' office. The President and IT Director are meeting with the lead Sysadmin

    Clueless IT Director to Sysadmin: So, if SCO folds will we renew our Linux license directly with Microsoft next year?

    Long pause ...

    Sysadmin begins to shake uncontrollably, breaks his pencil, quits job, and opens a book store in the Bahamas.

  15. SCO Management by the+eric+conspiracy · · Score: 4, Funny

    I, for one, welcome SCO's new overlords!.

  16. I can think of one! by pragone · · Score: 5, Funny

    To get laid???

    1. Re:I can think of one! by hazem · · Score: 4, Funny

      Come on... we're dealing in realistic things like FTL travel and Santa Claus.

      I can't believe you're spreading rumors about this mythical "getting laid" thing.

    2. Re:I can think of one! by .milfox · · Score: 2, Funny

      I personally subscribe to the Quantum Santa Theory.

      Something about having a possibility of being present at any location and the field strength being proportionate to the nice/naughty ratio in the area just makes all sorts of sense. Plus a bit of uncertainty theory regarding the actual santa location, of course.

      Or even better yet, the 'many santas' theory... *GASP*

    3. Re:I can think of one! by scbysnx · · Score: 2, Funny

      polycringelist! there is only one true santa!.. you have to believe *jingle jingle* I heard it.. did you?

  17. Cue maniacal laughter... by leonbrooks · · Score: 2, Funny

    "It's working! Our plan for World Domination is working! Soon all of the computers will be ours!" (-:

    --
    Got time? Spend some of it coding or testing
  18. Re:Rumor Has it... by Mephie · · Score: 2, Funny
    No, no, he's not a hatchet man. As I recall, he prefers a lead pipe... In the conservatory...

    Or was it a rope in the study? Damn, I'll have to check my cards...

    --
    Buy the President
  19. Printed on soft paper? by EmbeddedJanitor · · Score: 3, Funny

    If the share certs are printed on soft paper, preferably scented, I'll take a few rolls.

    --
    Engineering is the art of compromise.
  20. Canopy group by raider_red · · Score: 2, Funny

    Does anyone else notice a disturbing similarity in name to the Umbrella Corporation?

    --
    It's good to use your head, but not as a battering ram.