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Tech Headlines You Won't Read in 2005

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the read-all-about-it dept.

prostoalex writes "Folks at Silicon.com posted a list of tech headlines that you won't see in 2005. Read about spam volume decreasing, Sun revenues soaring, Longhorn operating system delivered on time and bug-free and other news you're unlikely to see in the papers."

10 of 171 comments (clear)

  1. Slashdot added a spellchecker? by Cyberax · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well, its obvious.

    1. Re:Slashdot added a spellchecker? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well, it's obvious they haven't added a grammar checker yet.

  2. Stephenson Humor by zmilo · · Score: 5, Funny

    Sun revenues soaring Looks like a BLACK sun to me...

  3. Tech Headlines You WILL Read in 2005 by deglr6328 · · Score: 5, Funny

    ........."2005 is definitely the year for linux on the desktop!!"

    --
    - "Hear that?! The percolations are imminent! Cease your ingress!"
  4. More headlines you won't see... by telekon · · Score: 5, Funny
    "Study shows FP makes people want to have sex with you"

    "Slashdot karma key indicator of future financial success"

    "Microsoft to release a real operating system"

    "89% of Americans think we need a C with more pluses"

    --

    To understand recursion, you must first understand recursion.

  5. Mobile giants: 3G spend worth every penny by BZoltan · · Score: 5, Interesting

    OK, 3G was overhyped few years back... but so the whole internet buzz was overestimated. During the last 5 years the so called 1G seriously evolved... now in some countries the 2-2.5G _is_ happening already. GPRS and bigger color display on mobile devices is out and it is usefull. Even commercial handheld devices with linux are available on the market... only the bandwidth is missing and that is called 3G and it is coming. Maybe not with stupid hype as the net boomed 5 years ago but smarter. :) and anyway.. it is way more realistic then a bugfree Longhorn on time :)

  6. Re:Hmmm... by Darren+Foong · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well...hard to see, the future is.

  7. game of the year by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Duke Nuke'm Forever named Game of the Year!

  8. Another headline that won't exist..... by IInventedTheInternet · · Score: 5, Funny


    Study shows slashdoters get laid more often than Pandas.

  9. Re:Hmmm... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I want people to just READ what they already have in front of them. Headlines be damned, they don't read what's there anyway.

    OK so I'm still bitter from an eBay auction debacle early this year. I sold a mac laptop, the title was NON WORKING POWERBOOK G3. In the auction text I had
    THIS POWERBOOK HAS NO CPU
    THIS POWERBOOK HAS NO HARD DRIVE.
    THIS POWERBOOK HAS NO LOGIC BOARD.
    THIS POWERBOOK HAS NO BATTERY.
    THIS POWERBOOK IS NON WORKING

    just to make sure people know it's not working. Hey, it'd suffered a lightning strike and I'd dumped the parts that didn't work, kept the ones that did, and was attempting to sell on the remainder that wasn't any use to me. The screen worked, but that's all. Maybe the keyboard. I clearly marked it as being useful for SPARE PARTS ONLY.

    So what does the dipshit that buys it for $70 do? email me the day it arrives to them asking complaining that it doesn't power up.

    People do not read. They see pictures and go "I WANT!" and slap down their cash hoping for the best. Reading is too complicated. It wouldn't matter if the headlines WERE "Linux is really the best OS for you" or "Using Linux makes your dick bigger" few would take notice, they'd just look at the pictures.