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Tech Headlines You Won't Read in 2005
prostoalex writes "Folks at Silicon.com posted a list of tech headlines that you won't see in 2005. Read about spam volume decreasing, Sun revenues soaring, Longhorn operating system delivered on time and bug-free and other news you're unlikely to see in the papers."
Well, its obvious.
Sun revenues soaring Looks like a BLACK sun to me...
........."2005 is definitely the year for linux on the desktop!!"
- "Hear that?! The percolations are imminent! Cease your ingress!"
"Slashdot karma key indicator of future financial success"
"Microsoft to release a real operating system"
"89% of Americans think we need a C with more pluses"
To understand recursion, you must first understand recursion.
"Linux making huge inroads into the desktop market"
well, the cnn tech predictions for 2004 is right here.
ultimately last year's predictions were a bust: voip didn't take off, outsourcing didn't become an election issue, the nasdaq didn't rally like crazy. in fact, the only prediction hellwig got right was that digital music did continue to be popular and record labels did continue to be pissed off about it. really just a "more of the same" prediction.
bottom line: if you really know what's going to happen next year, you're probably a multimillionaire stock broker instead of some hack journalist.
2 1337 4 u!
OK, 3G was overhyped few years back... but so the whole internet buzz was overestimated. During the last 5 years the so called 1G seriously evolved... now in some countries the 2-2.5G _is_ happening already. GPRS and bigger color display on mobile devices is out and it is usefull. Even commercial handheld devices with linux are available on the market... only the bandwidth is missing and that is called 3G and it is coming. Maybe not with stupid hype as the net boomed 5 years ago but smarter. :) and anyway.. it is way more realistic then a bugfree Longhorn on time :)
150 Opening BINARY mode data connection for slashdot.sig (129323052 bytes).
More Software Patents Filed; SCO continues Litigation to Keep Company Afloat; Microsoft CEO Attacks Linux While Jumping Up and Down and Screaming Unintelligibly ...
Oh, wait. This was supposed to be about stories we won't hear... Nevermind.
Guys at SCO admit that they were wrong when they claimed that Linux kernel contains the proprietory UNIX code.
Going one step further they will start advocating Linux and the advantages of Open Source.
Well...hard to see, the future is.
"Apple introduces $499 desktop" ;-)
"Intel introduces AMD64 killer"
Duke Nuke'm Forever named Game of the Year!
"April 2005: RedHat buys Sun..." :)
--- Grow a pair, liberals... stop letting the Republicans bully you!
It's easy to make anti-predictions... The sun won't explode in 2005. I won't become a millionaire... blah blah blah.
How about something challenging like predictions instead?
Study shows slashdoters get laid more often than Pandas.
"June 2005: the US Supreme Court finds the DMCA unconstitutional..."
--- Grow a pair, liberals... stop letting the Republicans bully you!
The HCL Call Centre in Belfast is owned by an Indian company. This headline has already happened (sort of).
It's not big, but it's clever!
> Simple patch to Windows eliminates 99% of all risk of virus infection now and in future.
CHICAGO (Reuters Tech) - Computer scientists claim the patch, printed by Microsoft Press, can be applied anywhere but U of I Professor Stephen Molovich claims the best place to put it is, "Right on your forehead, so people can see it every morning in the mirror." The patch is an ordinary sticker with the words, "Use Firewall. Don't Install Crap. Turn on Auto-Update" on it.
The patch sells for 2 cents when bought in bulk and expects to retail at 5 cents (3 Euro cents). The Open Source community has reverse-engineered their own patches using off the shelf equipment like Avery stickers and Sharpies. OSS advocate Bruce Perens was overhead saying this about the patch, "The big question right now is whether we can get people to use GNUpatch rather than the Microsoft Press patch. It doesn't matter if it's on your arm or on your cat. If we can get people to wear it, security wins in the office and at home."
EXTRA: Slashdot now caches webpages and links to cached versions instead of linking directly.
"The television is the retina of the mind's eye" - Videodrome
Adult acne considered sexy.
$20 computer speakers deliver rich, full sound.
Nerdfilter slashdots a site.
Buying robot dog sane move, claim psychologists.
VoIP company turns profit, plans to spend half of it to call ma with the good news.
Firefox and IE usage down as people discover this seasons new sitcoms.
MMORPG player doesn't complain about, "the grind" for once.
Mom, dad, and little sister all understand what you mean when you say, "MP3 bitrate."
New technology not applicable to pornography delivery claim computer scientists.
Burt Rutan has something nice to say about NASA.
American adults now smarter than new Treo smartphone.
Adding bold to 'MCSE' on resume got local man a job.
New open source app has easy to remember and pronouncable name.
"SCO provides evidence of IP infringement to the courts" "Bill Gates ranked sexiest man in the Americas" "Microsoft Longhorn to be released in December this year" "Software Engineers band together and form the Programmers Union" "Firefox loses market share." "Netcraft denies it" "Geeks admit C is a rediculously flawed and insecure language with little benefit and recommend Borland Delphi as an expert platform"
I want people to just READ what they already have in front of them. Headlines be damned, they don't read what's there anyway.
OK so I'm still bitter from an eBay auction debacle early this year. I sold a mac laptop, the title was NON WORKING POWERBOOK G3. In the auction text I had
THIS POWERBOOK HAS NO CPU
THIS POWERBOOK HAS NO HARD DRIVE.
THIS POWERBOOK HAS NO LOGIC BOARD.
THIS POWERBOOK HAS NO BATTERY.
THIS POWERBOOK IS NON WORKING
just to make sure people know it's not working. Hey, it'd suffered a lightning strike and I'd dumped the parts that didn't work, kept the ones that did, and was attempting to sell on the remainder that wasn't any use to me. The screen worked, but that's all. Maybe the keyboard. I clearly marked it as being useful for SPARE PARTS ONLY.
So what does the dipshit that buys it for $70 do? email me the day it arrives to them asking complaining that it doesn't power up.
People do not read. They see pictures and go "I WANT!" and slap down their cash hoping for the best. Reading is too complicated. It wouldn't matter if the headlines WERE "Linux is really the best OS for you" or "Using Linux makes your dick bigger" few would take notice, they'd just look at the pictures.
'Standards' in computing only impress those who are impressed by things like 'standards'.
I suppose he should also specify all the software packages that do not run on the non running powerbook.
...
THIS POWERBOOK DOES NOT RUN OFFICE
THIS POWERBOOK DOES NOT RUN OS 9
THIS POWERBOOK DOES NOT RUN MARATHON
THIS POWERBOOK DOES NOT RUN
"Apple Announces iPod to Support Ogg; Dozens Rejoice"
~Philly