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Medical Students Profile Middle-Earth's Gollum

An anonymous reader writes "Several medical students and a lecturer in 'old age psychiatry' have written up their analysis and final diagnosis of Gollum in the British Medical Journal. Other readers note the possibility of metal toxicity from the One Ring in their Rapid Responses." Hopefully everyone has had a few days off to 'Research' this by watching RotK's extended cut.

42 of 164 comments (clear)

  1. Lead poisoning! by mOoZik · · Score: 3, Funny

    It was lead, I tells ya! ;)

    Site's melted. :(

  2. Wow by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'm glad our educational system has progressed to the point that students can get acclaim for watching fantasy movies and devoting their time to "studies" of this kind. The human condition is so much better off now. Thank you very little.

    1. Re:Wow by spikexyz · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Yes, cause students should spend every second on serious study. That's the way to stay sane.

    2. Re:Wow by Bastard+of+Subhumani · · Score: 2, Funny
      Yes, cause students should spend every second on serious study. That's the way to stay sane.
      Difference is that these days you can major in things that 10 years ago were hobbies - you know, that you did after class.

      I mean, Master of Arts in Klingon?

      --
      Only three things are certain; death, taxes, and apocryphal quotations - Ben Franklin.
    3. Re:Wow by cenonce · · Score: 5, Interesting

      My wife is a psychology professor. One of her class exercises in Abnormal psychology is to have students "diagnose" a charcater from a movie. She says it helps students get interested in the topic to be able to write about a movie in which they are interested. Sure, she gets the standards: Norman Bates from "Psycho", Jack Nicholson's character in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" and Glen Close from "Fatal Attraction". But she has recently gotten Jake Gyllenhall's character from Donnie Darko. I don't think she has gotten a paper on Gollum yet.

      BTW, since the site has been blasted by Slashdotters, I can't get read it, but her guess is that Gollum has dissociative identity disorder. I'll be interested to see what the article says.

    4. Re:Wow by RenaissanceGeek · · Score: 2, Funny
      Hello! These are MEDICAL students! An EXTREMELY important part of their field is the ability to arrive at diagnoses when presented with a set of symptoms. (It's so important that Discover magazine devotes one of its montly columns to the narration of a tricky medical diagnosis: it's called "Vital Signs.")

      And who says that those symptoms HAVE to come from firsthand observation? If they did, no doctor could ever phone up a colleague for a consultation, or derive any worthwhile conclusions from reading a patient's chart.

      In fact, I once read a rather interresting passage in a novel about a retired physician who intended to spend his declining years diagnosing the maladys of the characters from great works of literature. The example given is from Hamlet. In Act III, Scene IV, Hamlet kills Polonius, and proceeds to hide the body. According to what I read, it could be derived from Hamlet's responses in Act IV, Scene I to queries as to the body's location (e.g. "if you find him not within this month, you shall nose him as you go up the stairs into the lobby.") and others that Hamlet had hid the body in with the King's chamber-pot (to mask the smell of rot), and it was unlikely to be found accidentally, as the King suffered from constipation.

      Unfortunately, I believe that the novel was borrowed, as I can't find it on my shelves.

      --
      What is the difference between a small revolutionary change and a large evolutionary change?
    5. Re:Wow by hchaos · · Score: 2, Interesting
      BTW, since the site has been blasted by Slashdotters, I can't get read it, but her guess is that Gollum has dissociative identity disorder. I'll be interested to see what the article says.

      The site seems to be back up, but for those too lazy to read the article, the final diagnosis is schizoid personality disorder.

      Dissociative Identity Disorder (in the article, referred to as multiple personality disorder) was ruled out because his two personalities are aware of each other and are present simultaneously and have conversations with each other. In DID, only one personality will manifest itself at a time, and the personalities are unaware of each other.

      Schizophrenia was ruled out because he does not show evidence of delusions.

    6. Re:Wow by yuri+benjamin · · Score: 2, Insightful

      OTOH, studying Klingon or Quenyan as part of a linguistics degree could be a useful mental exercise.

      --
      You make the mistake of thinking you can educate the fundamental stupidity out of people. You can't.
    7. Re:Wow by vsprintf · · Score: 3, Funny

      . . .the final diagnosis is schizoid personality disorder.

      Unfortunately, the diagnosis comes too late to help poor Gollum who refused to seek professional help and died during the commission of a theft. Let this be a warning to all who suddenly develop a taste for sushi and flashy jewelry to seek help from your local Elf immediately.

    8. Re:Wow by zakezuke · · Score: 2, Funny

      OTOH, studying Klingon or Quenyan as part of a linguistics degree could be a useful mental exercise.

      But it's hard to pickup chicks when you can speak Klingon, except other chicks that also speak Klingon.

      --
      There is no sanctuary. There is no sanctuary. SHUT UP! There is no shut up. There is no shut up.
    9. Re:Wow by yuri+benjamin · · Score: 3, Funny

      Try Quenyan then. Chicks dig LotR.

      --
      You make the mistake of thinking you can educate the fundamental stupidity out of people. You can't.
    10. Re:Wow by the+original+m0nk · · Score: 5, Funny

      and - trust me on this - if the chick speaks klingon, not only do you NOT want to pick her up, but chances are good that she could pick YOU up, soviet russia be damned.

  3. HIPAA Violation! by Average_Joe_Sixpack · · Score: 5, Funny

    Revealing Gollum's private medical information constitutes a violation of the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996.

    1. Re:HIPAA Violation! by pe1rxq · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Does that act cover the medical information of the deceased to? (Lava stream usually are kind of lethal....)
      And if it does is there a maximum time limit? (This is supposed to happened a long time ago)

      Jeroen

      --
      Secure messaging: http://quickmsg.vreeken.net/
    2. Re:HIPAA Violation! by Yonder+Way · · Score: 2, Insightful

      That's a very American-centric joke. Considering this was done in the UK, not nearly as funny.

    3. Re:HIPAA Violation! by jabuzz · · Score: 4, Interesting

      In five days time due to the wonders of the Freedom of Information Act there is no such thing as privacy in medical records in the U.K. any more - period. Want full disclosure of Tony Blairs recent operation, then it's all yours provided you cough up the money.

  4. Gollums equipment by Xpilot · · Score: 4, Funny

    My friend and I theorized that under that dirty little loincloth of his, Gollum probably doesn't have much of his manhood left, having shrivelled up and dried off after centuries of disuse. Maybe we should write it up and send off our theory to the British Medical Journal too. I'd feel so erudite seeing my name published there.

    --
    "Backups are for wimps. Real men upload their data to an FTP site and have everyone else mirror it." -- Linus Torvalds
    1. Re:Gollums equipment by afd8856 · · Score: 2, Funny

      not likely. Imagine Golum being a voyeurist. He has invisibility, has a lot of time to burn, what else can he do than polish his "ring"?

      --
      I'll do the stupid thing first and then you shy people follow...
    2. Re:Gollums equipment by Bloater · · Score: 2, Insightful

      The Gollum CG model is anatomically correct... There is a scene in one of the films where you see his wee willy winkle.

  5. star wars & neurology by cbnewman · · Score: 5, Interesting

    my neurology professor gave a lecutre about neurologic disorders in star wars. the most interesting part was the observation that yoda may have suffered from William's Syndrome

    1. Re:star wars & neurology by Erik+Hollensbe · · Score: 2, Funny

      No, that would require acting in iambic pentameter.

  6. I don't know about Gollum... by Pecisk · · Score: 4, Funny

    but web site diagnosis is clear: slashdotted.

    --
    user@ubuntubox:~$ stfu This server is going down for shutdown NOW!
  7. Re:Erm.. by sailforsingapore · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Let the students have their fun. I'm sure this study was done with tongue firmly planted in cheek.

  8. My personal conclusion... by Faust7 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Gollum suffers from a severe case of being a book/movie character with behavior patterns that may have some similarities to real-world ailments, but which are ultimately artificial constructs of Tolkein's/Jackson's minds and therefore fruitless to "research." :D

    1. Re:My personal conclusion... by biobogonics · · Score: 2, Informative

      Gollum suffers from a severe case of being a book/movie character with behavior patterns that may have some similarities to real-world ailments, but which are ultimately artificial constructs of Tolkein's/Jackson's minds and therefore fruitless to "research."

      It's well known that medical students often go off on far out diagnostic limbs (particularly when doing self diagnosis). Hence the old medical proverb "When you hear hoofbeats think of horses, not of zebras."

  9. Re:Erm.. by blike · · Score: 4, Insightful

    No need to get your panties in a wad, they're not "being silly".

    No one is saying that the author intentionally characterized Gollum with a certain disorder in mind. It was an excercise in psychiatry. If a human presented with these signs, this is how they would approach it.

  10. Metal toxicity? by RenaissanceGeek · · Score: 4, Interesting
    Hmmm. Could the ring have been made of a gold/mercury amalgamation? That WOULD explain it's being maleable enough to fit fingers of different sizes.

    Now, to figure out just what alloy that it was that the embedded scrollwork was made from which would glow red at a temperature below the melting point of the amalgam (something with phosphorous in it, perhaps?)....

    --
    What is the difference between a small revolutionary change and a large evolutionary change?
  11. Reminds of of an old Styx tune .... by Luscious868 · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Too much time on my hands...."

    1. Re:Reminds of of an old Styx tune .... by dswensen · · Score: 2

      Yeah, why don't these medical students published in the British Medical Journal get lives?

  12. And... by Doc+Squidly · · Score: 2, Interesting

    and it would also violate the Privacy Act of 1974.

    --
    I think I think, therefore I think I am.
  13. Check google news for clips by bishr · · Score: 5, Informative

    Google news has a few articles about it - here's clips from the original article via other articles on google. By the way, slashdotting a medical journal is a bad thing - I'm a medical student and I rely on these resources to guide or double-check decisions, or to keep up to date.

    "A space occupying lesion such as a brain tumour is unlikely as his symptoms are long standing. Gollum's diet is extremely limited, consisting only of raw fish. Vitamin B-12 deficiency may cause irritability, delusions, and paranoia. His reduced appetite and loss of hair and weight may be associated with iron deficiency anaemia. He is hypervigilant and does not seem to need much sleep. This, accompanied by his bulging eyes and weight loss, suggests hyperthyroidism. Gollum's dislike of sunlight may be due to the photosensitivity of porphyria. Attacks may be induced by starvation and accompanied by paranoid psychosis. ... On initial consideration schizophrenia seems a reasonable diagnosis. However, in the context of the culture at the time it is unlikely. Delusions are false, unshakeable beliefs, not in keeping with the patient's culture. In Middle Earth, the power of the ring is a reality. The passivity phenomena Gollum experiences are caused by the ring, and these symptoms occur in all ring bearers. Gollum does not fulfil the ICD-10 criteria for the diagnosis of schizophrenia.

    The presence of two personalities, Gollum and Sméagol, raises the possibility of multiple personality disorder. ..."

    "There is no disorder of the form of thought. He uses neologisms such as "triksy" and "hobbitses." Gollum has nihilistic thoughts, believing that he is a murderer, liar, and thief; although there is some basis in fact for this and he shows little guilt or remorse. He is preoccupied with, and deeply desires, the ring. He has obsessive thoughts but no compulsions, though he would do anything for the ring. He is hostile towards Frodo, the current owner of the ring. He has paranoid ideation about Sauron ("the eye is always watching") and about Samwise Gamgee ("the fat hobbit... he knows"). Gollum has difficulty controlling his thoughts and actions, exacerbated by prolonged contact with the ring. As Gandalf and Frodo have similar symptoms in the presence of the ring, we can attribute this somatic passivity to the ring. There are features of dissociation. Smeagol has separated his personality and is now Gollum as well."

    "Gollum displays pervasive maladaptive behaviour that has been present since childhood with a persistent disease course. His odd interest and spiteful behaviour have led to difficulty in forming friendships and distress to others," she said.

    "He fulfils seven of the nine criteria for schizoid personality disorder, and if we must label Gollum's problems we believe that this is the most likely diagnosis,"

    Wiki entry on Schizoid

  14. Gollum is *way* older than 587! by Weaselmancer · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Ok, even by Slashdot standards this is going to be a seriously geeky post. Prepare yourself - you have been warned.

    Gollum is at least 969 years old, and probably a whole lot older. Proof follows.

    In the Silmarillion, there is a quote in "Of The Rings of Power and the Third age" that goes as follows:

    ...the One Ring was indeed found again, by a chance more strange than even Mithrandir had foreseen; and it was hidden from Curunír and from Sauron. For it had been taken from Anduin long ere they sought for it, being found by one of the small fisher-folk that dwelt by the River, ere the Kings failed in Gondor;

    Gollum found the ring while there was still a ruling king in Gondor, before the reign of the Stewards.

    The reign of the Stewards began in TA 2050, after the death of King Eärnur at the hands of the Witch-King. So we know that Gollum had the ring before TA 2050.

    The ring was destroyed in TA 3019. That makes Gollum at least 3019-2050=969, and that's only if he found the ring on the very day the Stewards claimed Gondor.

    The Third Age begins with the defeat of Sauron by the Last Alliance. The earliest Gollum could have found the ring would be the day Isuldur lost it (TA 2), so he could be as old as 3019-2=3017.

    So Gollum is somewhere between 969 and 3017 years old. Splitting the difference makes him probably around 2000 or so. In any event, he's a lot older than 587.

    So how's that? Geeky enough for you? =)

    --
    Weaselmancer
    rediculous.
  15. My Diagnosis: One Ring Addiction Disorder. by meldroc · · Score: 2, Insightful

    One thing that was mentioned in the movie commentaries, but not mentioned in the medical journal reports is that the One Ring, along with other mystical phenomena, provides sensations of euphoria to its bearer. Also, if a bearer is deprived of contact with the One Ring, he experiences symptoms akin to withdrawl. All bearers of the One Ring experienced these symptoms, but because Gollum had possession of the Ring for over five centuries, his symptoms are extreme. So, on top of Antisocial Personality Disorder, Dissociative Personality Disorder, as well as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I would have to diagnose Gollum with addiction to the One Ring, and have him checked into a substance abuse treatment center as soon as possible.

    --

    Meldroc, Waster of Electrons
  16. Re:The Conclusion: by budgenator · · Score: 2, Informative

    One of the things that make your first psyc clinical so challenging is how normal the patients are, not how abnormal.

    --
    Apocalypse Cancelled, Sorry, No Ticket Refunds
  17. House by DJTodd242 · · Score: 3, Funny

    When asked for comment, Dr. Gregory House muttered something sarcastic and hobbled away.

  18. Wrong! by ewe2 · · Score: 3, Informative

    You are SO wrong. If there was a prize for geeky wrongness, you are it. You are the wrongest LoTR geek on the planet and here is why: you didn't read the book.

    The book says in Appendix B, The Tale of Years, Third Age and I quote

    2463 The White Council is formed. About this time Déagol the Stoor finds the One Ring and is murdered by Sméagol.

    Which makes him only 556 years old. I hereby banish you to an eon of nerd. Go, and never return! And take those medical students with you!

    --
    insecurity asks the wrong question irritation gives the wrong answer
    1. Re:Wrong! by HiThere · · Score: 2, Insightful

      But how old was he when the ring was found? Based on that assertion (i.e., appendix B) he might well be 580 or older. (Hobbits reach their majority at when? 30? 33?)

      --

      I think we've pushed this "anyone can grow up to be president" thing too far.
  19. Some unregarded aspects of the ring and diet by j_w_d · · Score: 3, Interesting

    The article was interesting and enteraining. I did notice a couple of unconsidered aspects. First, the ring renders the wearer transparent to visible light. Depending on upon its response in the ultraviolet spectrum (UV-B exposure is necessary), this could have induced some Vitamin D deficiency. This would have been exacerbated by Gollum's increasing photophobia, growing nocturnal habits and finally his relocation to a subterranean habitat. In addition to rickets, restlessness and irritability are possible symptons of inadequate Vitamin D.

    --
    ------ The only greater hazard to your liberty than n politicians is n+1 politicians.
  20. Amnesia by rishistar · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Well, coincidentally the BBC have a report about movies which have amnesiacs acting as they are supposed to.

    Finding Nemo and Memento are amonst the gud'uns. Overboard and the Tom'n'Jerry movie are amongst the bad'uns.

    The research was done by the National Society for Epilepsy, so its being used as a publicity piece I guess to highlight misconceptions about amnesiacs. Epileptics can suffer from amnesia as part of their condition. This does make it different to the subject story - which I guess is just a bit of speculative fun from people with too much time on their hands.

    --
    Professor Karmadillo Songs of Science
  21. Dates are wrong by StrawberryFrog · · Score: 2, Insightful

    This can't be right: "Sméagol (Gollum) is a single, 587 year old ... When Gollum was 25, the ring was stolen by Bilbo Baggins".

    The events of "The Hobit" must be at most a decade or two earlier than those of LotR. By the time that Bilbo aquired the ring, Gollum was already far gone; thus he must have been over 500 years old when he lost the ring to Bilbo.

    Gollum's main aliment is a powerful addiction to the strong magic that both sustained and ravaged him over the centuries. Hobbits, which Gollum basically is, do not normally live to be over 150.

    Jackson's movies worked with that angle, having him look and act like a totally ravaged junkie.

    --

    My Karma: ran over your Dogma
    StrawberryFrog

  22. overlooking the obvious? by walterbyrd · · Score: 3, Interesting

    To me the movie made it clear that gollum's mental problems were the result of:

    1) Magic power of the ring.

    2) 550+ years of solitude.

    3) Terrible guilt.

  23. Must complete clinicals. Only then, a doctor .... by PsiPsiStar · · Score: 2, Funny

    When 900 years old he reaches, be so healthy he will not. Hmmph!

    --

    ___
    It's the end of my comment as I know it and I feel fine.