Green Security Clearance Laser Pistol Available

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Green Security Clearance Laser Pistol Available

Posted by ryuzaki0 on Tuesday December 28, 2004 @08:45AM from the insert-remaining-eye-joke-here dept.

nazgul000 writes "You thought those green laser pointers sold by ThinkGeek and others were pretty cool, didn't you? Well, think again." It seems obligatory to point out that even laser pointers, and certainly anything more powerful than those, are capable of causing real damage.

18 of 586 comments (clear)

Its all fun and games..... by Unloaded · 2004-12-28 08:47 · Score: 5, Funny

....till someone uses one of these as a cat toy...
1. Re:Its all fun and games..... by SnapShot · 2004-12-28 08:51 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Luckily, the use of a laser pointer as a cat toy is patented and therefore you are required to get a license before engaging in such an activity. A reasonably responsible corporate entity would never grant such a license. (God, I wish I was joking).
  
  --
  Waltz, nymph, for quick jigs vex Bud.
Disclaimer, ie, don't sue us if you're dumb. by Anonymous Coward · 2004-12-28 08:49 · Score: 5, Funny

This laser is not legal to use in public, and while we are not asking for any proof that the buyer is qualified to own this device, we trust that it will be used in a responsible fashion.

Bwahahahahhahahhahahahaahah!
OMG by LiquidCoooled · 2004-12-28 08:50 · Score: 5, Funny

from the article/sales pitch
- There is a 2 second delay after you click the "on" button before the laser will produce a beam.

Click.
Click.
Click.
(Peering into lens)
Hey why isn't this worARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH!

--
liqbase :: faster than paper
Warning! by pegr · 2004-12-28 08:50 · Score: 5, Funny

Warning! Do not look into laser with remaining eye!
1. Re:Warning! by savagedome · 2004-12-28 08:57 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Too late. Damn.
  
  --
  
  Free XBox, PS2
2. Re:Warning! by BLAG-blast · 2004-12-28 09:08 · Score: 5, Funny
  Warning! Do not look into laser with remaining eye!
  Recent safery changes will probably not discourage this:
  - There is a 2 second delay after you click the "on" button before the laser will produce a beam.
  
  Somebody thinking, "Hmmmm, last I used one of these it came on straight away and I lost my right eye, this unit must have something wrong with thiARRHRHGHHHH, my eye!"
  --
  M0571y H@rml355.
3. Re:Warning! by Majik+Sznak · 2004-12-28 10:47 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Actually, natural selection at work. :)
  
  --
  Karma: Chameleon (Mostly affected by the 1980s)
PLEASE! by af_robot · 2004-12-28 08:51 · Score: 5, Funny

Any links where i can also buy some fricken sharks?!
Obscure RPG Ref by BrynM · 2004-12-28 08:51 · Score: 5, Funny

I can't get past Red clearance according to the beloved and benevolent Computer. After my last clone was killed by the room-blender-bot, the evidence of him not being a commie mutant traitor was destroyed. Red lasers for me until the next clone as I have to give my life to the needs of the Computer in a spectacular blaze of glory to redeem myslef... or volunteer to go outside for experiments! Eww!!! That fireball in the sky scares me. The Computer should have it destroyed!
What do you mean I said too much?!?!? I'm not a traitor! I'm not a commie spy! Nooooooo...........

--
US Democracy:The best person for the job (among These pre-selected choices...)
1. Re:Obscure RPG Ref by willfe · 2004-12-28 09:07 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Citizen, you are not authorized to disseminate this material to Infrared clearance citizens. You are also clearly not authorized to visit this underground "Slashdot" secret society network system. Please report for termination.
  
  For your next clone's reference: there is no "fireball in the sky." There is no "outside." There are no "green lasers."
  
  Thank you for your cooperation!
  
  --
  Read my stuff.
2. Re:Obscure RPG Ref by AvitarX · 2004-12-28 10:02 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  We will always remember you [Name deleted due to traitorous information dissemination] for your noble works and experiments in the [Region Deleted due to non-existance] with the big [object deleted] in the [object deleted].
  
  --
  Wow, sent an e-mail as suggested when clicking on "use classic" banner, and got a fast response that addressed my msg
Re:Uses and mods for this laser. by Danse · 2004-12-28 08:59 · Score: 5, Funny

Yeah.. but it wouldn't be very good as a sniper rifle.. hard to get them to hold still for 30 seconds or so while you burn a hole through them...

--
It's not enough to bash in heads, you've got to bash in minds. - Captain Hammer
Re:What's a green security clearance? by bckrispi · 2004-12-28 09:12 · Score: 5, Funny

Cizizen, would you mind explaining to me how you came about this information?

--
Xenon, where's my money? -Borno
Re:Given that the "old" ones weren't used responsi by Mantorp · 2004-12-28 09:16 · Score: 4, Funny

Someone told me that they were at a Liverpool match once and one of the goalkeepers had about 8 red dots all over his body when he made a save.
So that's the excuse they're going with now at Anfield.
Re:way different lasers by voxlator · 2004-12-28 09:19 · Score: 5, Funny

Look, it's not lasers that cause retinal pigment epithelium damage to people, it's people that cause retinal pigment epithelium damage to people.

:o)

--#voxlator
Re:way different lasers by Tackhead · 2004-12-28 09:40 · Score: 4, Funny

> Well, retinal degenerative diseases and remodeling is my forte, but I do recall that red lasers in the 3-5Mw range should cause no retinal damage per se.
...on account of it being hard to examine the retina when there's nothing left of the head but some vapor.
There are, however, red lasers in the milliWatt range for which the blink/aversion response is (probably) fast enough to prevent damage.
> So, the currently accepted wattage figures on the threshold of immediate tissue damage are in the 30-50Mw range.
True. Because on the battlefield, there's no such thing as overkill!
Re:For Adults only by jebell · 2004-12-28 11:57 · Score: 4, Funny

Tell me if I'm wrong, but in the States, don't they sell GUNS to everyone?
Yes. Everyone in the U.S.A. is sold a gun at birth.

Fear us.

--
This is my sig. There are many like it but this one is mine.