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Green Security Clearance Laser Pistol Available

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the insert-remaining-eye-joke-here dept.

nazgul000 writes "You thought those green laser pointers sold by ThinkGeek and others were pretty cool, didn't you? Well, think again." It seems obligatory to point out that even laser pointers, and certainly anything more powerful than those, are capable of causing real damage.

12 of 586 comments (clear)

  1. Its all fun and games..... by Unloaded · · Score: 5, Funny

    ....till someone uses one of these as a cat toy...

    1. Re:Its all fun and games..... by SnapShot · · Score: 5, Funny

      Luckily, the use of a laser pointer as a cat toy is patented and therefore you are required to get a license before engaging in such an activity. A reasonably responsible corporate entity would never grant such a license. (God, I wish I was joking).

      --
      Waltz, nymph, for quick jigs vex Bud.
  2. Disclaimer, ie, don't sue us if you're dumb. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    This laser is not legal to use in public, and while we are not asking for any proof that the buyer is qualified to own this device, we trust that it will be used in a responsible fashion.

    Bwahahahahhahahhahahahaahah!

  3. OMG by LiquidCoooled · · Score: 5, Funny

    from the article/sales pitch
    - There is a 2 second delay after you click the "on" button before the laser will produce a beam.

    Click.
    Click.
    Click.
    (Peering into lens)
    Hey why isn't this worARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH!

    --
    liqbase :: faster than paper
  4. Warning! by pegr · · Score: 5, Funny

    Warning! Do not look into laser with remaining eye!

    1. Re:Warning! by BLAG-blast · · Score: 5, Funny
      Warning! Do not look into laser with remaining eye!

      Recent safery changes will probably not discourage this:

      • - There is a 2 second delay after you click the "on" button before the laser will produce a beam.
      Somebody thinking, "Hmmmm, last I used one of these it came on straight away and I lost my right eye, this unit must have something wrong with thiARRHRHGHHHH, my eye!"

      --
      M0571y H@rml355.
  5. PLEASE! by af_robot · · Score: 5, Funny

    Any links where i can also buy some fricken sharks?!

  6. Obscure RPG Ref by BrynM · · Score: 5, Funny
    I can't get past Red clearance according to the beloved and benevolent Computer. After my last clone was killed by the room-blender-bot, the evidence of him not being a commie mutant traitor was destroyed. Red lasers for me until the next clone as I have to give my life to the needs of the Computer in a spectacular blaze of glory to redeem myslef... or volunteer to go outside for experiments! Eww!!! That fireball in the sky scares me. The Computer should have it destroyed!

    What do you mean I said too much?!?!? I'm not a traitor! I'm not a commie spy! Nooooooo...........

    --
    US Democracy:The best person for the job (among These pre-selected choices...)
    1. Re:Obscure RPG Ref by AvitarX · · Score: 5, Funny

      We will always remember you [Name deleted due to traitorous information dissemination] for your noble works and experiments in the [Region Deleted due to non-existance] with the big [object deleted] in the [object deleted].

      --
      Wow, sent an e-mail as suggested when clicking on "use classic" banner, and got a fast response that addressed my msg
  7. Re:Uses and mods for this laser. by Danse · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yeah.. but it wouldn't be very good as a sniper rifle.. hard to get them to hold still for 30 seconds or so while you burn a hole through them...

    --
    It's not enough to bash in heads, you've got to bash in minds. - Captain Hammer
  8. Re:What's a green security clearance? by bckrispi · · Score: 5, Funny

    Cizizen, would you mind explaining to me how you came about this information?

    --
    Xenon, where's my money? -Borno
  9. Re:way different lasers by voxlator · · Score: 5, Funny

    Look, it's not lasers that cause retinal pigment epithelium damage to people, it's people that cause retinal pigment epithelium damage to people.

    :o)

    --#voxlator