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Wired's 2004 Vaporware Awards

l3pYr writes "Based on user submissions, Wired Magazine has posted its 2004 Vaporware Awards. Duke Nukem Forever has garnered the 'Lifetime Achievement Award,' so it doesn't - officially - make the list. Some of the lucky winners this year are: Alienware, Valve, Microsoft, Apple and TiVo."

38 of 406 comments (clear)

  1. My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Seriously. Does anybody actually use the beta/alpha version of it for anything? RMS has been promising it for such a long time.. especially after Linux took the GNU team by surprise.

    1. Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD by The_Dougster · · Score: 4, Informative

      I have it installed on my system also, although I don't recall booting it anytime recently. It does boot though. It has X, you can compile programs, I think it runs Emacs, it definately runs vi, there might even be a couple games ported to it now. It's a turtle, but definately not vaporware.

      --
      Clickety Click ...
    2. Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      I have a leaked copy of the source code to Duke Nuke 'em Forever. It doesn't do anything near to what it was supposed to do. It is in no way vapor! Anyhow, I'll share it here for all to see:

      /* forever.c- FIXME: This file is not completed yet */
      #include <stdio.h>

      int main ()
      {
      /* Comment out below line before release -EDW */
      printf ("Duke Nuke 'em Forever v0.001 Alpha Release\n");

      /* Uncomment out below line when game is written */
      /* main_loop (); */

      return 0;
      }

    3. Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD by uebermts · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Well, HURD is about to reach V1.0 ... in the meantime, Linus wrote some other OS:

      ===
      From: torva...@klaava.Helsinki.FI (Linus Benedict Torvalds)
      Date: 5 Oct 91 05:41:06 GMT
      Subject: Free minix-like kernel sources for 386-AT

      [...]
      I can (well, almost) hear you asking yourselves "why?". Hurd will be
      out in a year (or two, or next month, who knows), and I've already got
      minix.
      [...]
      ===

      http://groups-beta.google.com/group/comp.os.mini x/ msg/2194d253268b0a1b

  2. Where? by AtariAmarok · · Score: 4, Funny

    Where's my Atari 1450 XLD? Still waiting....

    --
    Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
    1. Re:Where? by crow · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Oh, boy, did I ever want one of those.

      If you look very closely at some of the photos in Creative Computing or Compute! you'll see that the alleged 1450XLD had a nameplate on it calling it a 1250XLD. My guess is that there was another earlier project that was canceled, and since they didn't have any of the new ones ready, they used photos of the old one.

      Apparently there were a few 1400XLs that got out, but there's as rare as an 815.

  3. Sarge by gihan_ripper · · Score: 4, Funny

    Though they keep us hanging, Debian Sarge cannot be considered vapourware as Debian don't give release dates till they're good and ready.

    (But I still want it now!)

    --
    Phoenix, Boston, Little Rock, see a pattern?
  4. Apple and IBM should share credit by Logic+Bomb · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I think it's fair for Apple to be on the list with the 3 Ghz claim, though they should have shared the honor with IBM. After all, Apple was just going off whatever they were told by IBM's R&D folks.

    1. Re:Apple and IBM should share credit by akac · · Score: 3, Informative

      That's exactly what they did. IBM built a brand new fab specifically to build very fast 970s and other 13 nm and smaller chips.

      That was the whole point.

  5. What is the min delay for vaporware? by shawn(at)fsu · · Score: 4, Interesting

    #10 lists the product from Alienware that was supposed to be delivered in Q4 2004 (If I read it right). My question is this: How long must something be delayed to be considered vaporware? Obviously products like Duke Nukem and the Phantom qualify but what is the minimum amount of time needed?

    Even if I was mistaken on #10 I still would like to hear what you all think.

    --
    500 dollar reward for tip(s) leading to the arrest of the person(s) who stole my sig.
    1. Re:What is the min delay for vaporware? by AviLazar · · Score: 4, Funny

      but what if nobody wants to buy it? Is it still vapor ware or is it considered shitty ware?

      --

      I mod down so you can mod up. Your welcome.
    2. Re:What is the min delay for vaporware? by iabervon · · Score: 3, Informative

      That's not as bad as TiVoToGo being #4, despite having already been released only a few days outside the specified window. And the X800 got #5 despite being scheduled to be in transit at press time and having previously available to reviewers.

  6. Yes, I am Karma whoring. by Ssbe · · Score: 5, Informative

    10. Alienware's Video Array
    9. Intel's Pentium 4 at 4 GHz
    8. Apple Computer's G5 Chips at 3 GHz
    7. Team Fortress 2: Brotherhood of Arms
    6. Gran Turismo 4
    5. ATI's Radeon X800 series of video cards
    4. TiVoToGo
    3. Microsoft's Longhorn
    2. CherryOS
    1. Phantom Game Console

  7. Bah! by OECD · · Score: 4, Funny

    They're not really handing out any awards! They're just making it up!

    --
    One man's -1 Flamebait is another man's +5 Funny.
    1. Re:Bah! by gstoddart · · Score: 4, Funny
      They're not really handing out any awards! They're just making it up!


      No. Honestly. A friend works work them and he assures me they'll be handing out the awards real soon now. ;-)

      --
      Lost at C:>. Found at C.
  8. Kind of sad: Alienware?!? by revery · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Apparently your product is now vaporware if it slips a quarter. I think by that definition every computer game I've ever played has at some point been vaporware...

    --
    Was it the sheep climbing onto the altar, or the cattle lowing to be slain,
    or the Son of God hanging dead and bloodied on a cross that told me this was a world condemned, but loved and bought with blood.

  9. Re:My favorite quote: by MPHellwig · · Score: 3, Funny

    Mine was near there: Steven "Harley" Davidson said, "If Microsoft keeps on pushing back the dates for Longhorn and removing features from it, they might as well just promise to bundle Duke Nukem Forever with the OS."

  10. Longhorn by mislinux · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I went to the movie theater to watch the 2nd Matrix movie the day it came out (so that tells you about the time it was) and there was a guy running Longhorn on his laptop. Me and an ECE friend of mine went over to ask him about it. He was raving how great it was and blah blah blah. My friend asked him, "So what's different about it, beside the GUI?" And this guy was like, "Um...it is just neat, and you don't have it." Cause it was without the new file system (which won't be on longhorn anyway) and without a ton of stuff. But it did look pretty...pretty confusing. Stuff was everyone. The desktop looked like a dumping ground. Taskbar at the bottom. Some kind of toolbar on the side, similar to Mac's toolbar at the bottom, and then some other media toolbar. Just cluttered. And so we asked him to show us some stuff. There was nothing. So I was thinking about it. All it really didn't have was the newest Media Player and the new file system. Well now you can download the newest media player and they aren't adding the new file system, so I guess in 2006, they will release basically the same version that guy had back two years ago. LOL!!

  11. Re:Company Lifetime Achievement Award by Timesprout · · Score: 3, Funny

    Actually using this logic Desktop Linux wins hands down. Every year its arrival is trumpeted yet we still wait.

    --
    Do not try to read the dupe, thats impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth
    What truth?
    There is no dupe
  12. Vaporware? by Titusdot+Groan · · Score: 4, Insightful
    Alienware slips by a quarter? Apple and Intel under deliver by a few hundred Mhz?

    They were *really* stretching to get this list to 10 ... I guess things are pretty good in the world of vaporware given the bottom 3.

  13. Re:My favorite quote: by Omega · · Score: 4, Funny
    My favorite is:
    Microsoft's successor to Windows XP was originally promised to ship in 2004, though the company subsequently pushed the launch date to 3015 or something. Obviously, Microsoft won't be able to finish the code until it's had a peek at Apple's forthcoming Tiger.
    Ahh, saying what we're all thinking... :)
  14. Is anyone really working on a new duke3d?! by Anita+Coney · · Score: 4, Insightful

    How long does it really take to make a 3d game when you're using someone elses engine?! First, it was supposed to use the Quake 2 engine. Then it switched over to the Unreal engine. It must have switched again because the Unreal engine is ancient by any standard.

    My guess is that the owners of 3D Realms have enough money where they just don't give a rat's ass.

    Does anyone here actually work for 3D Realms?! What's going on over there?!

    --
    If someone says he and his monkey have nothing to hide, they almost certainly do.
    1. Re:Is anyone really working on a new duke3d?! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Interesting

      just go to the 3drealms forum. there is one guy (George something) that talks about development from time to time.

      so yes, they still are working on it. this is no excuse for the length of delay (nearly 10 years now), but you have to keep in mind what duke3d was. it was not just another typical FPS. in fact, it had more going on than the first half-life did really. there was the shrink ray, freeze ray, jet pack, pipe bombs, etc. etc.

      the engine is actually a very very minor part of it. when duke3d first came out, it was competing more-or-less with the first quake. despite duke3d being a 2.5D game vs. quake's true 3D... duke3d was much more fun (until quakeworld and mods, at least).

      i'm hopeful that we will see another duke nukem within the next 2-3 years. the only bad thing is that no matter how kickass it will be (and trust me... it will be kickass), it will never be able to live up to the hype. i can already see people saying "i've waited this long for this?!"

  15. Irony by patonw · · Score: 5, Funny

    Would anyone find it ironic if Wired hyped their vaporware awards for an entire year and didn't come out with one that year?

  16. Re:x800? by Skier4Life · · Score: 5, Informative

    I was thinking the same thing. We have a system at work that has a X800 installed in it, we got it 6 months ago. Also we just got three X800 XTs in the middle of december. I don't see how these cards can be considered vapourware.

    Also, we didn't jump through any special hops to get these cards, we just placed an order with a local computer store, like any Joe Blow is able to do.

    --


    [SIG] Far better to be thought a fool then to post on /. and remove all doubt.
  17. SCO Group's Evidence? by kuwan · · Score: 3, Insightful

    What about the SCO Group's evidence that Linux contains Unix source code?

    After nearly two years and Darl McBride's claims of "mountains of code" you'd think they'd have shown something by now.
    --
    It works.
    Free Flat Screens | Free iPod Photo

  18. Re:Elite 4 by sootman · · Score: 4, Funny

    Skipping 4 might not be enough--Windows went from 3 to 95, just to be extra-extra safe, and look where it got them. They didn't make any real progress until they skipped 99 through 1999.

    After that, the numbers got so high they jumped to a base-36 system (0-9,A-Z) with XP. (Ha ha, just kidding. 'XP' is only 1,213 in base-36. I don't really know where XP came from. But they obviously need to get back up above 2000 if they want to get anywhere.)

    --
    Dear Slashdot: next time you want to mess with the site, add a rich-text editor for comments.
  19. My favorite piece of vaporware by mcc · · Score: 5, Funny

    is the second coming of Jesus Christ.

    1,900 years behind the original schedule, man.

    What the fuck?

    1. Re:My favorite piece of vaporware by jdavidb · · Score: 4, Informative

      While popular religion often presents the idea that early Christians all believed the coming of Christ would be immediate, this is actually explicitly refuted in the Bible in II Thessalonians 2:1-3.

      Jesus did state that the kingdom of heaven would come "in this generation" (his generation, not ours) (Mark 9:1, Matthew 24:34), but He also taught that the kingdom was not of this world (John 18:36) and was "within you" (Luke 17:20-21). Since the Bible later identifies the kingdom as the church, refers to Christians already being a part of the kingdom in the past tense rather than future (Colossians 1:13), describes Christ as presently serving as King rather than serving as King in the future (Acts 2:33, Hebrews 12:2), and describes Christ as returning the Kingdom to the Father at His second coming rather than establishing the Kingdom at that time (I Corinthians 15:24), it seems that the prophecy of Christ of the coming of the kingdom referred to the establishment of the church, rather than to His coming at the end of time.

      Finally, both Christ (Mark 13:32) and His apostles (I Thessalonians 5:2) stated that noone knew the time of His coming and that it would be without warning, like a thief in the night. Thus, while I and II Thessalonians indicate that many early Christians may have misunderstood, a properly educated 1st century C.E. Christian holding to the doctrine of the second coming as taught by Christ and His apostles would have recognized that the day might or might not come in the immediate future.

      That said, you did get a laugh out of me. ;) Hope you found the Bible info informative and that addressing a serious response to a joke doesn't bug you. (That's how I learned everything in high school physics; the teacher addressed serious responses to my jokes.)

    2. Re:My favorite piece of vaporware by Citizen+of+Earth · · Score: 5, Funny

      early Christians all believed the coming of Christ would be immediate, this is actually explicitly refuted in the Bible in II Thessalonians 2:1-3.

      Even more clearly, Futurama 1:12 clearly states that the second coming of Jesus will be in 2443 (though apparently he will be a Zombie).

    3. Re:My favorite piece of vaporware by SkipRosebaugh · · Score: 3, Interesting

      I don't remember the first paragraph, but I do remember the second. If I'm right, it should be 'The Man', by Bradbury.

  20. 'Phantom' is more than just a physical machine. by oneiros27 · · Score: 4, Informative

    Anyone can throw a computer in a pretty case and call it by whatever name they want -- the big deal is the price point they claim to be able to deliver (similar to a console, which MS already did with the XBox), and the concept of a 'subscription' (with a delivery mechanism) for games.

    Showing a physical unit off at the CES is like showing a MMORPG without any multi-user support -- it might look pretty, but it's missing the core feature that's supposed to make it special.

    --
    Build it, and they will come^Hplain.
  21. Re:#1 Phantom spotted at CES by DeeFresh · · Score: 3, Informative

    Although that article you linked to claimed that it was running games, another site says that the console was never plugged in during CES. Link to Article here

    The article does mention that the Phantom was part of a display for Windows Embedded Devices, which I guess means someone at Microsoft has seen this thing running, but it still seems a little suspicious to me.

  22. Re:Elite 4 by panaceaa · · Score: 4, Funny

    No no, you have it all wrong. In 2003 they jumped to a base-1305 system. XP actually stands for 31338. Yes, that's right: it's beyond elite.

  23. Re:Elite 4 by panaceaa · · Score: 4, Funny

    My math was wrong. XP base 1305 is 31336. It's not even elite :(.

    That's it, I'm switching to Linux.

  24. SCO "proof" is the biggest vaporware by Supp0rtLinux · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I think they missed something very key. The other big (in my opinion... the true #1) is the proof that SCO supposedly has and keeps promising to show the world about the Unix code in Linux. They managed to start lots of lawsuits and even gained a few licensees. However, on numerous occasions they promised to "show the proof", yet they have yet to do so. We're coming up on year three and to date, no one has seen any damning code... not even those that signed the NDA.

  25. Intel lower on list than Apple? by revscat · · Score: 4, Funny

    9. Intel's Pentium 4 at 4 GHz

    Intel was supposed to pump the Pentium 4 to 4 GHz in 2004. It fizzled at 3.8....

    8. Apple Computer's G5 Chips at 3 GHz

    Intel's in good company. Nobody hit the chip speeds they promised. In June 2003, Apple CEO Steve Jobs said IBM's G5 chips would be at 3 GHz within 12 months. It's been 18.

    Ok, now why did they put Apple higher on the list than Intel? Intel has a far broader market reach, and Apple is dependent upon IBM for their chips. Intel is dependent on Intel. Doesn't seem fair, does it? Doesn't seem fair to Apple, does it?

    Holy shit. Did I just write that? Was that me? Well folks, I think it's time to go chew on a shotgun barrel. I hereby bequeath my G5 to that stripper at Baby Doll's who really liked me. Maybe she can perform with it.

    Oh man, now look at that last sentence... My sexual fantasies are involving G5s. Fuck this. Off with my head.

  26. Re:Elite 4 by jd · · Score: 3, Informative
    The original Elite was a work of sheer genius, combining unique elements, an unheard-of split-resolution mechanism, a staggering level of complexity and microscopic binaries by today's standards.


    Virus and Virus 2000 showed a lot of the phenominal mind of David Braben, with impressive graphics and a complex realistic flying system.


    In addition to that, he's one of the VERY few coder/designer/CEOs who ALSO are willing to spend the time answering people's questions on USENET. He also ran a survey to see if there was interest in a Linux version of Elite, at the request of fans. That kind of response is rare, but very much appreciated.


    Unfortunately, Braben's promises of Elite 4, the debacles over Frontier and FFE, the failure to market Virus 2000 in the US, allegations that he was involved in the killing-off of the clone "Elite: The New Kind", alleged harassment of Ian Bell over his Elite website, etc, suggest that there is a less welcome side to his character.


    Most of these are beyond fixing today. Elite 4 is not. But people won't remember the Elite series forever. There's only so big a timeframe to operate in. If he needs help, ideas, support, whatever - that's fine, we can all understand that, but he's not going to get any of those if he doesn't ask, and he might well not get as good as is there, if he's seen as secretive and hostile.


    Elite 4 is vaporware, right now, and one of the worst examples of it. If it's done right, though, AND released, it could be a serious killer app in the games market. Even if it's "perfect" and the ultimate product ever written, nobody is going to care if they can't ever see it.

    --
    It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)