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Wired's 2004 Vaporware Awards
l3pYr writes "Based on user submissions, Wired Magazine has posted its 2004 Vaporware Awards. Duke Nukem Forever has garnered the 'Lifetime Achievement Award,' so it doesn't - officially - make the list. Some of the lucky winners this year are: Alienware, Valve, Microsoft, Apple and TiVo."
Seriously. Does anybody actually use the beta/alpha version of it for anything? RMS has been promising it for such a long time.. especially after Linux took the GNU team by surprise.
Where's my Atari 1450 XLD? Still waiting....
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
Though they keep us hanging, Debian Sarge cannot be considered vapourware as Debian don't give release dates till they're good and ready.
(But I still want it now!)
Phoenix, Boston, Little Rock, see a pattern?
Seriously, the Slashdot visual design ranks among the best, except for that category that immitates the "Aqua" look of white letters on a very pale background (cannot be read). If you want very bad, go to aintitcoolnews.com To read that site, you need to copy and paste text into a text editor.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
I think it's fair for Apple to be on the list with the 3 Ghz claim, though they should have shared the honor with IBM. After all, Apple was just going off whatever they were told by IBM's R&D folks.
#10 lists the product from Alienware that was supposed to be delivered in Q4 2004 (If I read it right). My question is this: How long must something be delayed to be considered vaporware? Obviously products like Duke Nukem and the Phantom qualify but what is the minimum amount of time needed?
Even if I was mistaken on #10 I still would like to hear what you all think.
500 dollar reward for tip(s) leading to the arrest of the person(s) who stole my sig.
10. Alienware's Video Array
9. Intel's Pentium 4 at 4 GHz
8. Apple Computer's G5 Chips at 3 GHz
7. Team Fortress 2: Brotherhood of Arms
6. Gran Turismo 4
5. ATI's Radeon X800 series of video cards
4. TiVoToGo
3. Microsoft's Longhorn
2. CherryOS
1. Phantom Game Console
They're not really handing out any awards! They're just making it up!
One man's -1 Flamebait is another man's +5 Funny.
And this years price for the "Worst Article and Poor journalism" -award goes to... Wired!
Also special commendation on "How to build a website almost rivaling Geocities in how horrible it looks like" -award goes to Wired!
Apparently your product is now vaporware if it slips a quarter. I think by that definition every computer game I've ever played has at some point been vaporware...
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Was it the sheep climbing onto the altar, or the cattle lowing to be slain,
or the Son of God hanging dead and bloodied on a cross that told me this was a world condemned, but loved and bought with blood.
Also could be fit in the "vaporware" realm some of their claims, i.e. the "safe" feature is strongly attached to any of their products, be windows 95, internet explorer from the firsts versions, office, servers, etc).
Mine was near there: Steven "Harley" Davidson said, "If Microsoft keeps on pushing back the dates for Longhorn and removing features from it, they might as well just promise to bundle Duke Nukem Forever with the OS."
WAAAA! Your promised me I could buy $piece_of_crap by Q4 2004. Its already January 7th of 2005! Oh, the humanity!! !IWANIT!!IW ANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!! /spoiled brat mode
IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT
who cares...
Where is the award for a default secure windows?
Grundgesetz * 23. Mai 1949 - 30. November 2007 - http://www.vorratsdatenspeicherung.de/
I went to the movie theater to watch the 2nd Matrix movie the day it came out (so that tells you about the time it was) and there was a guy running Longhorn on his laptop. Me and an ECE friend of mine went over to ask him about it. He was raving how great it was and blah blah blah. My friend asked him, "So what's different about it, beside the GUI?" And this guy was like, "Um...it is just neat, and you don't have it." Cause it was without the new file system (which won't be on longhorn anyway) and without a ton of stuff. But it did look pretty...pretty confusing. Stuff was everyone. The desktop looked like a dumping ground. Taskbar at the bottom. Some kind of toolbar on the side, similar to Mac's toolbar at the bottom, and then some other media toolbar. Just cluttered. And so we asked him to show us some stuff. There was nothing. So I was thinking about it. All it really didn't have was the newest Media Player and the new file system. Well now you can download the newest media player and they aren't adding the new file system, so I guess in 2006, they will release basically the same version that guy had back two years ago. LOL!!
for not meeting their projected processor speed targets. Granted, they were over-hyped but the real reason they did not meet the targets is because both Intel and IBM ran into a lot of unforseen roadblocks when they went to 90 nm technology. I would hardly call that "vaporware".
Unlike Duke Nukem Forever, they were both going into uncharted waters, and it's really no surprise that they didn't make it to their destination as fast as they had wanted to....
Monstar L
Talk about vaporware! Interestingly enough, the site has news of a new Buckaroo Banzai book coming out. Where's "Buckaroo Banzai vs The World Crime League"?!!! That's got DNF beat by an order of magnitude!
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
Alienware CPU with Intel Pentium 4 4GHz, 2 ATI X800 video cards with Alienware Video Array enabled, running Microsoft Longhorn bundled with Duke Nukem Forever & Cherry OS (Capable of emulating Power PC G5 3GHz) will be available shortly* in computer stores near you...
*) Time is relative
P.S.: There are rumours that if you buy two, you will get the Phantom console for free.
They were *really* stretching to get this list to 10 ... I guess things are pretty good in the world of vaporware given the bottom 3.
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Help fight continental drift.
Okay, these are both a little late, but isn't it a little unfair to call them vaporware? I mean, we can expect to see them eventually (at least the 4MHz CPU), and a delay of about 3 months is nothing like the delay we've suffered waiting for the Phantom. They wouldn't have qualified for these awards if their release date was Q2, and they just came out. Surely an annual award should wait for at least most of a year for a delay.
They were promised - and no one's seen them!
No sig for you.
How long does it really take to make a 3d game when you're using someone elses engine?! First, it was supposed to use the Quake 2 engine. Then it switched over to the Unreal engine. It must have switched again because the Unreal engine is ancient by any standard.
My guess is that the owners of 3D Realms have enough money where they just don't give a rat's ass.
Does anyone here actually work for 3D Realms?! What's going on over there?!
If someone says he and his monkey have nothing to hide, they almost certainly do.
Would anyone find it ironic if Wired hyped their vaporware awards for an entire year and didn't come out with one that year?
I was thinking the same thing. We have a system at work that has a X800 installed in it, we got it 6 months ago. Also we just got three X800 XTs in the middle of december. I don't see how these cards can be considered vapourware.
Also, we didn't jump through any special hops to get these cards, we just placed an order with a local computer store, like any Joe Blow is able to do.
[SIG] Far better to be thought a fool then to post on
What about the SCO Group's evidence that Linux contains Unix source code?
After nearly two years and Darl McBride's claims of "mountains of code" you'd think they'd have shown something by now.
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infested with jello like fishes no melotron wishes
Skipping 4 might not be enough--Windows went from 3 to 95, just to be extra-extra safe, and look where it got them. They didn't make any real progress until they skipped 99 through 1999.
After that, the numbers got so high they jumped to a base-36 system (0-9,A-Z) with XP. (Ha ha, just kidding. 'XP' is only 1,213 in base-36. I don't really know where XP came from. But they obviously need to get back up above 2000 if they want to get anywhere.)
Dear Slashdot: next time you want to mess with the site, add a rich-text editor for comments.
is the second coming of Jesus Christ.
1,900 years behind the original schedule, man.
What the fuck?
Irritable, left-wing and possibly humorous bumper stickers and t-shirts
Anyone can throw a computer in a pretty case and call it by whatever name they want -- the big deal is the price point they claim to be able to deliver (similar to a console, which MS already did with the XBox), and the concept of a 'subscription' (with a delivery mechanism) for games.
Showing a physical unit off at the CES is like showing a MMORPG without any multi-user support -- it might look pretty, but it's missing the core feature that's supposed to make it special.
Build it, and they will come^Hplain.
I wonder why SCO didn't make the list with its claims of infringing code in Linux.
My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
I've seen it used. Google sysrq and you fill find plenty of things that use it.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
No no, you have it all wrong. In 2003 they jumped to a base-1305 system. XP actually stands for 31338. Yes, that's right: it's beyond elite.
my blog
In the july Macworld, steve jobs showed everyone the slide from a year ago promissing 3 ghz. He said IBM was having trouble creating faster chips, but they were getting faster, just they were behind schedule.
Then he some convoluted explaination that they were getting faster at a faster rate %wise than intel which was a confusing statement since both chip makers increased speed by the same # of mhz..
Oh well..
My math was wrong. XP base 1305 is 31336. It's not even elite :(.
That's it, I'm switching to Linux.
my blog
I think they missed something very key. The other big (in my opinion... the true #1) is the proof that SCO supposedly has and keeps promising to show the world about the Unix code in Linux. They managed to start lots of lawsuits and even gained a few licensees. However, on numerous occasions they promised to "show the proof", yet they have yet to do so. We're coming up on year three and to date, no one has seen any damning code... not even those that signed the NDA.
9. Intel's Pentium 4 at 4 GHz
Intel was supposed to pump the Pentium 4 to 4 GHz in 2004. It fizzled at 3.8....
8. Apple Computer's G5 Chips at 3 GHz
Intel's in good company. Nobody hit the chip speeds they promised. In June 2003, Apple CEO Steve Jobs said IBM's G5 chips would be at 3 GHz within 12 months. It's been 18.
Ok, now why did they put Apple higher on the list than Intel? Intel has a far broader market reach, and Apple is dependent upon IBM for their chips. Intel is dependent on Intel. Doesn't seem fair, does it? Doesn't seem fair to Apple, does it?
Holy shit. Did I just write that? Was that me? Well folks, I think it's time to go chew on a shotgun barrel. I hereby bequeath my G5 to that stripper at Baby Doll's who really liked me. Maybe she can perform with it.
Oh man, now look at that last sentence... My sexual fantasies are involving G5s. Fuck this. Off with my head.
Hey, they were sure they could beat Bush.
We can also add Saddam's WMDs to the list.
It's good to use your head, but not as a battering ram.
In Microsoft's case, I suspect it was just a bad association with the number 4 from the old DOS days (remember DOS 4? Remember being told to stick with 3.x and wait for 5.x?), but it may also have had something to do with catering for the Japanese market - in Japan the number 4 is associated with death, and is considered unlucky. They seem to take this quite seriously - when I was over there I noticed that chop sticks were on sale in packs of 2 or 5 (when are 5 chop sticks ever useful?) to avoid packaging them in packs of 4.
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Virus and Virus 2000 showed a lot of the phenominal mind of David Braben, with impressive graphics and a complex realistic flying system.
In addition to that, he's one of the VERY few coder/designer/CEOs who ALSO are willing to spend the time answering people's questions on USENET. He also ran a survey to see if there was interest in a Linux version of Elite, at the request of fans. That kind of response is rare, but very much appreciated.
Unfortunately, Braben's promises of Elite 4, the debacles over Frontier and FFE, the failure to market Virus 2000 in the US, allegations that he was involved in the killing-off of the clone "Elite: The New Kind", alleged harassment of Ian Bell over his Elite website, etc, suggest that there is a less welcome side to his character.
Most of these are beyond fixing today. Elite 4 is not. But people won't remember the Elite series forever. There's only so big a timeframe to operate in. If he needs help, ideas, support, whatever - that's fine, we can all understand that, but he's not going to get any of those if he doesn't ask, and he might well not get as good as is there, if he's seen as secretive and hostile.
Elite 4 is vaporware, right now, and one of the worst examples of it. If it's done right, though, AND released, it could be a serious killer app in the games market. Even if it's "perfect" and the ultimate product ever written, nobody is going to care if they can't ever see it.
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)