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Pentagon To Send Robot Soldiers to Iraq

conJunk points out this AP story carried by Salon (also covered by various sources linked from Google News) "about the Pentagon's plan to send robot soldiers to Iraq in March or April. The program, Special Weapons Observation Reconnaissance Detection Systems, uses Foster-Miller TALON robots, and is said to be "years ahead of the larger Future Combat System vehicles currently under development by big defense contractors such as Lockheed Martin and General Dynamics Corp." If it's successful, maybe our men and women in uniform will have to team up with the United Auto Workers to fight the robo-threat to their jobs." Note that (whatever other considerations you might have about such deployment), the Rules of Robotics that some readers have linked to don't really apply to remote-controlled drones, which is what these are.

36 of 765 comments (clear)

  1. obligatory. by dop9388 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I, for one, welcome our new...oh never mind... I'll never trust a robot with a gun. It's like trusting a redneck buffoon with the presidency of the United States...oh wait...

    1. Re:obligatory. by Jeremiah+Cornelius · · Score: 3, Funny

      I wonder if they can run to Canada, too?

      --
      "Flyin' in just a sweet place,
      Never been known to fail..."
    2. Re:obligatory. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Why not? It's been done before.

    3. Re:obligatory. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      It's like trusting a redneck buffoon with the presidency...

      It's far better than trusting a selfish city slicker. At least us commoners have common sense, something sadly lacking in the big cities.

    4. Re:obligatory. by Jesus+2.0 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yeah, you just go on thinking that. I'm sure it boosts your self-esteem, so that's just super. And it's so cute.

    5. Re:obligatory. by Zenmonkeycat · · Score: 3, Funny

      Well, as long as we have overlords, they might as well be shotgun-packing, AK-47-toting fly-eating deathbots that also kick our ass in soccer.

      --

      *****
      Dear Mary,
      I yearn for you tragically,
      A.T. Tappman, Chaplain, U.S. Army.

    6. Re:obligatory. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      I've learned something from all this time I've spent on /. - geeks are just not funny.

    7. Re:obligatory. by the_mad_poster · · Score: 2, Funny

      So, what you're trying to show us here is that, you're, what.... the god of all geeks?

      --
      Alito: A vote for Alito is a punch in the eye to put that bitch back in her place!
    8. Re:obligatory. by I(rispee_I(reme · · Score: 4, Funny

      I know it seems extreme, but we must be protected from the terrible secret of space.

    9. Re:obligatory. by mizhi · · Score: 4, Funny

      No, "white trash" is a racist slur. Redneck is just a regional slur.

      --
      Humorless sig goes here.
    10. Re:obligatory. by randallpowell · · Score: 2, Funny
      It's far better than trusting a selfish city slicker. At least us commoners have common sense, something sadly lacking in the big cities.

      I'm assuming you're in a red state. The same states that banned same-sex marriage for being immoral yet allows cousins to marry?

    11. Re:obligatory. by dipipanone · · Score: 1, Funny
  2. AOL Robots? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    Whose to say that in 2023 that USR Robotics wont sell robots to corporations like AOL? Imagine having AOL Robots knock on your door handing you free AOL CDs... I can imagine now, Jehavoh WItness Robots handing you a copy of AWAKE!! God help us ALL!

    1. Re:AOL Robots? by Rob+Carr · · Score: 5, Funny
      Have the JW robots met at the front door by your electric monk. You have an answering machine to talk on the phone for you, a vcr/tivo/recorder to watch TV for you...why not an electric monk to believe things for you?

      I miss Douglas Adams.

      --
      This sig seemed like a good idea at the time....
  3. Simpson's quote: by underpar · · Score: 4, Funny

    The wars of the future will not be fought on the battlefield or at sea. They will be fought in space, or possibly on top of a very tall mountain. In either case, most of the actual fighting will be done by small robots. And as you go forth today remember always your duty is clear: To build and maintain those robots. Thank you.

    1. Re:Simpson's quote: by evilmousse · · Score: 2, Funny


      no, silly, in the future, wars will be fought with a mmorpg mod for quake 1 teamfortress. except when countries are too poor to afford all the computers, in which case, they'll get their asses kicked the old fashioned way.

    2. Re:Simpson's quote: by Mr.Progressive · · Score: 3, Funny

      The government calls it the 'army', but a more alarmist name would be.. The Killbot Factory!

      --
      Okay, so a philosopher, a philologist, and a philatelist walk into a bar...
    3. Re:Simpson's quote: by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

      In either case, most of the actual fighting will be done by small robots.

      1: "Sir, China declared war on the US for protecting Taiwan!"

      2: "Quick, get the robots out!"

      1: "Sir, they are not working."

      2: "We just tested them yesterday. Why would they stop working today?"

      1: "Hmmm. They seem to be recieving an encrypted signal that permanently scrambles their ROM."

      2: "Who the hell made these damned things?!"

      1: "According to this tag underneath.......they were made in China."

      2: "oh shit"

  4. Automation by PixelScuba · · Score: 5, Funny

    Somehow I don't think the men and women of the armed services would really put up that much protest if their jobs in Iraq were outsourced by robots.

  5. I can see it now by miyako · · Score: 5, Funny

    Just wait, they'll control these using a 1337 brigade of FPS players, then some asshat will TK our entire military presence. Shortly thereafter whatever enemy we happen to be fighting at the time will send us the gift of nukes with "pwned" spray painted on the side.

    --
    Famous Last Words: "hmm...wikipedia says it's edible"
  6. The Iraqis, for one.... by iamatlas · · Score: 5, Funny

    I do not think that the Iraqis will welcome their new robotic overlords. Or their guns. Probably not the bullets either. In fact, I think they may get kind of pissed...

  7. TALON online store? by InterStellaArtois · · Score: 5, Funny
    I have to admit, when I looked at the site detailing these robots, I did look for a 'Order', or 'View your Shopping Cart' link ...

    Equipped with breaching tool, light anti-tank weapon launcher, 12-gauge shotgun and 40mm grenade launcher I must admit - for a moment I reflexively considered my available credit.

  8. Are they controlled by SkyNet by mslinux · · Score: 5, Funny

    Good thing old Arnold is still around ;)

  9. They might find bin laden.. by cyberfunk2 · · Score: 1, Funny

    But, will they find Sarah Conner ?

  10. Johnny 5 by digitalgimpus · · Score: 3, Funny

    Anyone else think this image of the new robot/soldier looks like Johnny 5?

    In the movie Johnny 5 had Apple hardware... does this real one perhaps have a G5?

    Is it running Darwin (insert darwinism joke here)?

    It could broadcast what it's eyes/camera's see via a QuickTime Stream. It's voice can be done using text to speach. It can even sing (better than the movie) thanks to iTunes.

    Oh boy. I bet I'm right!

  11. The clone wars by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Dun.. dun.. dun.. da. dun. da dun da daaaaa

    The Empire will regain control once and for all. I command.. Send out the clones.

    What's next? Nasa turns Mimas into the Deathstar? Naaa....it could never happen.

    1. Re:The clone wars by zephc · · Score: 2, Funny

      no no no, it's:

      Dun dun dun dun-DA-dun dun-DA-dun;
      Dun dun dun DUN-da-dun dun-DA-dun.
      DA dun! DA dun da da-da dun. ...
      etc.

      --
      "I would say that 99 per cent of what my father has written about his own life is false." - L. Ron Hubbard Jr.
  12. So let me get this straight... by bechthros · · Score: 4, Funny

    "The TALON robot can be reconfigured in the field by operators using simple pin mounted components and plug-and-play subsystems."

    Just so I understand this...

    We're giving automatic weapons, and license to kill, to remote-controlled robots that are not only hackable and abusable but that use PLUG'N'PLAY?!?!

    I can see the future general now... "Bring me Bill Gates!"

  13. Dispatch the robots! by indy · · Score: 2, Funny

    This way the U.S. will finally win the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people. Go, America!

  14. robotic laws are for wimps by 0xdeaddead · · Score: 2, Funny

    Did the terminaotr ever stop and ponder these precious 'laws'? Did skynet think Hmm maybe not? Just like those fictional events, its all fiction. In the real world people get killed. We've just gotten pretty good at doing it. :|

  15. A new way to fund the military? by Berserker76 · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...kill terrorists on the other side of thw world from the safety of your own home. All the fun, none of the risk and only half the guilt for only $49.95. Log on at www.crusade.gov Any advancement in technology that helps protect and or save the lives of an American soldier get a big thumbs up from me.

  16. Robot Insurance by tyler_larson · · Score: 2, Funny
    Robots are everywhere, and they're dangerous. Now, more than ever, it's important to make sure you're covered.

    And remember, persons denying the existance of Robots may be Robots themselves.

    --
    "With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. However, this is not necessarily a good idea...."
    RFC 1925
  17. But What About The Robot Wives? by tiktok · · Score: 2, Funny

    Sending robot soldiers to war might seem practical, but just tell that to the robot spouse who gets a machine language letter from the government telling her that her robot soldier husband has been lost in action, leaving her to raise the widgets on her own.

  18. Ow my legs!! by Cow007 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Damn robots hiding under my furniture with shotguns!!

    --
    411 Y0UR 8453 4R3 8310NG 70 U5!! -NSA
  19. Re:I seriously welcome it (not funny) by gludington · · Score: 2, Funny

    A robot could commit war crimes, and it could easily be blamed on a 'technical fault', the manufacturers, or anyone other than the military.

    Would that be a General Protection Fault?

  20. Re:What the hell? by crimson30 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Democratic societies seem to abhor seeing their sons and daughters killed in war.

    And all societies with different government structures don't???


    No... with communism and despotism, all you need is some troops in the home city and you're good to go.