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l33tspeak For Parents By Microsoft

Posted by Zonk on from the 1-w1ll-0wnz-j00 dept.

An anonymous reader writes "Microsoft has published A parent's primer to computer slang where !337$p34k is explained to the uninitiated. Expect to see a l33t-localized version of Windows XP soon." They also have a wonderful guide to the tactics of a griefer. "Honey, we're getting worried that you may be 0wning newbz. We need to talk..."

17 of 159 comments (clear)

  1. Fp? by Nova1313 · · Score: 4, Funny

    In soviet russia |\|3wb5 pwn j00

    --
    There exists some positive integer N that you are the Nth person to read this signature.
  2. Left them feedback by CrazyJim1 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I clicked yes at the bottom: Y0UR 51ght I5 d@ 8OM8, M1CR05OFt Own5 l1NuX

    --
    God spoke to me.
  3. wtf by FLAGGR · · Score: 5, Funny

    Can you imagine the author, trying to keep a straight face? Poor guy, he wrote it so professionally

  4. I couldn't resist... by afabbro · · Score: 5, Funny
    "Was This Information Useful?"

    No.

    "Thank you for telling us about your experience. Why was the article not useful?"

    Other.

    "Please tell us more".

    It was written by L4M3 D00DZ!!!1!

    "Thank you for taking the time to provide feedback."

    --
    Advice: on VPS providers
  5. Applied Practice by ehlertjd · · Score: 4, Funny

    Ok, now try translating the following sentence:

    M1cr0$0f7 us35 l33t sploitz and m4d sk1llz to pwn $0ftw4r3 p4t3nts.

    1. Re:Applied Practice by BRTB · · Score: 5, Funny

      okay, let's see here..... standard loose dialect, so this is probably close enough:

      "Microsoft takes advantage of its nearly infinite resources and thus its ability to manipulate the legal system in order to gain large quantities of overly broad software patents."

      The main difficulty in this sentence is that the common "pwn" has taken on many various meanings based on context and may not be properly translated. As always, IANAL (I Am Not A Linguist)

      >=]

  6. Excellent by generic-man · · Score: 4, Funny

    Now I can show Pure Pwnage to my parents and they will understand it perfectly. However, they may be concerned that teh_pwnerer is "involved in the theft of intellectual property, particularly licensed software" due to his use of expressions like "pwn."

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  7. From the Article... by isd_glory · · Score: 5, Funny

    Rules of grammar are rarely obeyed. Many leetspeekers will capitalize every letter except for vowels (LiKe THiS) and otherwise reject conventional English style and grammar.

    Kinda reminds me of Slashdot

  8. My first time... by flibuste · · Score: 5, Funny

    I am so ....I can't describe the feeling... It's the first time I click "YES" at the question "Was this information useful" on a Microsoft web page.

  9. You know your child is a criminal if... by Austerity+Empowers · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...he signs his email "l33t h4x0r" ...she makes more weekly on "w4r3z" than you make at a real job. ...his friend call him "Juarez". ...he wants to name your new born child "Fsck r0x0rs"

    Tip your waitresses, I'll be here all day. Tip me and I leave pronto.

  10. Re::O by JohnGalt00 · · Score: 4, Informative

    Well, google is almost its own OS... Google in L33T

  11. omgz0rz by davez0r · · Score: 5, Funny

    i'm sending this to my m0m

    well, not sending so much as printing it out and running it up to her (because i live in her basement)

  12. pr0n? by plastic_grass · · Score: 5, Funny

    did you find the information useful? no "what is the pr0n my son keeps talking about?" i need to know!

  13. Re:Microsoft has been smoking? by glowimperial · · Score: 4, Funny

    E) Freebase

  14. Also, see this... by antdude · · Score: 4, Interesting

    PBS' documentary on American language. It is going to get worse with these slangs. :(

    --
    Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
  15. Re:More useful than most by dougmc · · Score: 4, Insightful
    It's like they actually kinda get it.
    They actually do seem to get it. It was a well written article (and the one on dealing with griefers is good too) -- and while we make fun of it, I can certainly see how some parents who don't know much about that there intra-web could find it to be very useful.
    Compared to, say, http://www.pcworld.com/howto/article/0,aid,88686,p g,2,00.asp, where they include 'kiss' as 'keep it simple stupid'. Have you ever seen anyone actually use that in chat?
    I have, yes. Of course, it's more of a technical term than pwn3d. `KISS' has been around for a lot longer than l33tspeak.

    Another good (i.e. amusing) article is this one -- this slang I've generally not seen, but I guess I'm not a 15 year old girl pretending to be 25 on AIM either. But while I'd not be fooled by strange abbreviations, I realize that others might. Fortunately, my kids are still a bit over a decade away from being 15, so I've got some time to not pick up the new lingo.

  16. Damn Microsoft by dghcasp · · Score: 4, Funny
    Now I have no incentive left to finish my magnum opus, "A stuffy british guy's guide to elite-speak." Microsoft owns this market.

    1 p0wn3d u: In the contest of skills that we just completed, I found myself victorious. Although this victory has no real meaning, I like to fantisize that if I went to the pubs and told a woman about it, she would shag me. If only I was old enough to go to the pubs...