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l33tspeak For Parents By Microsoft

Posted by Zonk on from the 1-w1ll-0wnz-j00 dept.

An anonymous reader writes "Microsoft has published A parent's primer to computer slang where !337$p34k is explained to the uninitiated. Expect to see a l33t-localized version of Windows XP soon." They also have a wonderful guide to the tactics of a griefer. "Honey, we're getting worried that you may be 0wning newbz. We need to talk..."

25 of 159 comments (clear)

  1. Fp? by Nova1313 · · Score: 4, Funny

    In soviet russia |\|3wb5 pwn j00

    --
    There exists some positive integer N that you are the Nth person to read this signature.
  2. Left them feedback by CrazyJim1 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I clicked yes at the bottom: Y0UR 51ght I5 d@ 8OM8, M1CR05OFt Own5 l1NuX

    --
    God spoke to me.
    1. Re:Left them feedback by MarkGriz · · Score: 3, Funny

      "It doesn't even look like Microsoft can implement a simple "Yes/No" button in a reliable way... Geez"

      Maybe Microsoft doesn't want feedback from 1337 |-|4x0rz that don't run IE

      --
      Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
  3. wtf by FLAGGR · · Score: 5, Funny

    Can you imagine the author, trying to keep a straight face? Poor guy, he wrote it so professionally

  4. I couldn't resist... by afabbro · · Score: 5, Funny
    "Was This Information Useful?"

    No.

    "Thank you for telling us about your experience. Why was the article not useful?"

    Other.

    "Please tell us more".

    It was written by L4M3 D00DZ!!!1!

    "Thank you for taking the time to provide feedback."

    --
    Advice: on VPS providers
  5. Applied Practice by ehlertjd · · Score: 4, Funny

    Ok, now try translating the following sentence:

    M1cr0$0f7 us35 l33t sploitz and m4d sk1llz to pwn $0ftw4r3 p4t3nts.

    1. Re:Applied Practice by BRTB · · Score: 5, Funny

      okay, let's see here..... standard loose dialect, so this is probably close enough:

      "Microsoft takes advantage of its nearly infinite resources and thus its ability to manipulate the legal system in order to gain large quantities of overly broad software patents."

      The main difficulty in this sentence is that the common "pwn" has taken on many various meanings based on context and may not be properly translated. As always, IANAL (I Am Not A Linguist)

      >=]

  6. Excellent by generic-man · · Score: 4, Funny

    Now I can show Pure Pwnage to my parents and they will understand it perfectly. However, they may be concerned that teh_pwnerer is "involved in the theft of intellectual property, particularly licensed software" due to his use of expressions like "pwn."

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    For more information, click here.
  7. From the Article... by isd_glory · · Score: 5, Funny

    Rules of grammar are rarely obeyed. Many leetspeekers will capitalize every letter except for vowels (LiKe THiS) and otherwise reject conventional English style and grammar.

    Kinda reminds me of Slashdot

    1. Re:From the Article... by Qzukk · · Score: 3, Funny

      Kinda reminds me of Slashdot

      1N s0v13+ M1kR0z0fT, |33t Sp33|Z j00!

      --
      If I have been able to see further than others, it is because I bought a pair of binoculars.
  8. My first time... by flibuste · · Score: 5, Funny

    I am so ....I can't describe the feeling... It's the first time I click "YES" at the question "Was this information useful" on a Microsoft web page.

  9. Leet words possibly indicating illegal activity... by mongoose(!no) · · Score: 3, Insightful

    "Leet words possibly indicating illegal activity: "warez" or "w4r3z": Illegally copied software available for download. "h4x": Read as "hacks," or what a computer hacker does. "sploitz" (short for exploits): Vulnerabilities in computer software used by hackers. "pwn": A typo-deliberate version of own, a slang term that means to dominate. This could also be spelled "0\/\/n3d" or "pwn3d," among other variations. Online video game bullies or "griefers" often use this term." I have never heard of sploitz, but its pretty obvious that M$ was trying to plug anti-piracy in the comment on part about Warez. Interesting that they didn't mention the term "p0rn". Any parents looking to learn leet should find guides from stuff like the Jargon File (http://jargon.watson-net.com/section.asp?f=cracke rs.html), not learn from Microsoft.

  10. :O by kereira · · Score: 3, Funny

    1'|) |_0\/3 70 533 |_337 |_0(4|_153|) 53771|\|G5 |=0|2 05s... That'll be the day, when my peers understand l337.

    --
    I don't not believe there isn't a God.
    1. Re::O by JohnGalt00 · · Score: 4, Informative

      Well, google is almost its own OS... Google in L33T

  11. You know your child is a criminal if... by Austerity+Empowers · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...he signs his email "l33t h4x0r" ...she makes more weekly on "w4r3z" than you make at a real job. ...his friend call him "Juarez". ...he wants to name your new born child "Fsck r0x0rs"

    Tip your waitresses, I'll be here all day. Tip me and I leave pronto.

  12. Microsoft has been smoking? by generalleoff · · Score: 3, Informative
    a) Panama Red

    b) Acapulco Gold

    c) Purple Haze

    d) Maui Wowie

    1. Re:Microsoft has been smoking? by glowimperial · · Score: 4, Funny

      E) Freebase

  13. omgz0rz by davez0r · · Score: 5, Funny

    i'm sending this to my m0m

    well, not sending so much as printing it out and running it up to her (because i live in her basement)

  14. pr0n? by plastic_grass · · Score: 5, Funny

    did you find the information useful? no "what is the pr0n my son keeps talking about?" i need to know!

  15. Dammit, Microsoft can't do this to us! by drxray · · Score: 3, Funny

    l37z 5u3 th3|\/| u|\|d3r t3h D.|\/|.(.4.!

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    Slashdot - Mutual Assured Discussion
  16. Not too bad by kongjie · · Score: 3, Insightful
    I read the article on griefers. It was okay, actually, considering a lot of parents don't have a clue about this kind of stuff.

    I'm just not very sure about how they expect this information to be used. Do they think that Johnny will go crying to his parents about griefing, and this will clue them in to the problem? I don't really see children complaining to their parents about something that they in many ways sees as THEIR domain, exclusive of parents.

    One thing I thought was missing was some ideas for parents of griefers themselves. How do you know your kid is griefing? What do you say to your child when you find out he is a full-time griefer?

  17. Also, see this... by antdude · · Score: 4, Interesting

    PBS' documentary on American language. It is going to get worse with these slangs. :(

    --
    Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
  18. Re:More useful than most by dougmc · · Score: 4, Insightful
    It's like they actually kinda get it.
    They actually do seem to get it. It was a well written article (and the one on dealing with griefers is good too) -- and while we make fun of it, I can certainly see how some parents who don't know much about that there intra-web could find it to be very useful.
    Compared to, say, http://www.pcworld.com/howto/article/0,aid,88686,p g,2,00.asp, where they include 'kiss' as 'keep it simple stupid'. Have you ever seen anyone actually use that in chat?
    I have, yes. Of course, it's more of a technical term than pwn3d. `KISS' has been around for a lot longer than l33tspeak.

    Another good (i.e. amusing) article is this one -- this slang I've generally not seen, but I guess I'm not a 15 year old girl pretending to be 25 on AIM either. But while I'd not be fooled by strange abbreviations, I realize that others might. Fortunately, my kids are still a bit over a decade away from being 15, so I've got some time to not pick up the new lingo.

  19. ./ed by paulius_g · · Score: 3, Funny

    Microsoft.com didn't get slashdotted? Damn, these Windows servers can take more than I've expected.

    --
    The hip way to get your IP. No ads, ever.
  20. Damn Microsoft by dghcasp · · Score: 4, Funny
    Now I have no incentive left to finish my magnum opus, "A stuffy british guy's guide to elite-speak." Microsoft owns this market.

    1 p0wn3d u: In the contest of skills that we just completed, I found myself victorious. Although this victory has no real meaning, I like to fantisize that if I went to the pubs and told a woman about it, she would shag me. If only I was old enough to go to the pubs...