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In Need of Repatriation Advice?
kir asks: "I've been living in Japan for the last 10 years -- 6 in the USAF, 4 in 'freedom'. My wife and I recently decided to move to the U.S. (back for me, not for her). I am wondering what advice the vocal Slashdot minority might give me. I'm most interested in tips on finding a job from here and gauging a proposed salary based on a location of which I know nothing. I'd also find helpful tips on preparing for culture shock (both my mild case and my wife's possibly severe one). Thanks!"
Also, don't assume that just because you're a citizen and are coming back, your wife can come back. If you married her overseas, she has no more legal right to enter the US than any other alien (IANAL, but that is my understanding).
My advice is to talk to an immigration attorney ASAP.
Advice: on VPS providers
I'd start with salary.com, actually. There's a lot of information on cost of living, expected salary ranges by geographic location for virtually any position, and comparisons between different areas so you can start to guage how expensive it is to live somewhere.
;)
As a personal recommendation, Saint Paul or Minneapolis, MN (or the surrounding area) is probably one of the best places for a tech-minded person to find work right about now. The salaries are still high versus the cost of living, and there are a lot of positive things about Minnesota... just so long as you don't mind the freezing cold in the winters or the massive snowdrifts.
That green slime had it coming.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
Can't find it on-line, but just this week there was a news story about a Canadian who spent 18 months in Japan teaching English. It's a pretty commonplace thing really.
Upon his return he landed a job as a baggage handler at one of our airports. At least he thought he had until he was refused security clearance.
His sole mistake was living somewhere where the Canadian Security agencies felt that they couldn't verify his movements and activities while out of the country.
If you're considering government work you just might want to look into this ahead of time.
Three Squirrels
I'd encourage you to try to get something in a big city, something on the West Coast, or in Hawaii, which has a big Japanese community.
I have a friend who married a woman from Estonia (they met in the Peace Corps) and brought her back to Nebraska. She signed up for the local university.
It was very hard on her, and she ended up dropping out. There were a fair number of foreign students at the university, but it's pretty provincial here, and she had a hard time blending in and making friends. She was very unhappy.
I've had friends in Chicago who fared better -- there are quite a few people from other countries living in Chicago. Even if they're not from the same place you are, you can still compare notes as immigrants. I knew some Russian people in Chicago, and a girl from Viet Nam who got along better.
One friend, married to a Russian woman, moved from Chicago to Brooklyn, and I think she's a lot happier there. She can go to Russian neighborhoods (even though they don't live in one), speak her native language, buy Russian food, etc. It helps.
Having said all of that, I used to know a Japanese woman who was here in Nebraska doing graduate work at the University, and she seemed to like it a lot. So it can be done.
But she had a clique of grad student immigrant friends -- a woman from Bangledesh, and another woman from South Korea -- and she was here studying Native American culture, so professionally it was a great place for her.
I don't want to say something sexist, but I think it's harder for women to make these moves sometimes -- they tend to be more plugged into groups of friends, more social. It's harder if you're following someone else, too, and not doing it for your own reasons.
I'd adivse you to try to give her as much support as possible -- shoot for a community where she can fit in. Don't move to Utah, even if you get the best offer there.
preparing for culture shock (both my mild case and my wife's possibly severe one).
I wouldn't be so sure about who will experience the biggest shock. When you go somewhere new, you are mentally preparing yourself for this shock, but potentially the biggest shock of all comes when you go back.
At least in my case that was a big eye-opener.
Anecdotal, I know, but it wasn't something I expected.
And since you have been gone for 6 years, many things will have changed. Since change is slow and always present, it only becomes clear after watching something with a long time in between snapshots.
If you don't like it, you can GEEET OUUUUT!
Karnal
"Love it or Leave it" is one of the most retarded and unhelpful (not to mention inappropriate) responses to criticisms of the US. My friends and family all live in the US. I want good things for them and for the US. Sure, there are much better places to live, but what I have, in terms of both stuff and people, is all here.
By quoting statistics and data that show the US is failing to achieve, people are hoping to spread awareness and interest in the hopes that people can and will work hard to change the US.
The US now is a superpower with nowhere to go but down, and we will fall, and continue to fall, unless we take the bold steps necessary to change our ways. Only through criticism and willingess to force change will we ever become the nation we think we are instead of the nation we really are.
A few random thoughts...
Health insurance in the US is a giant pain in the ass compared to Japan. Try to shield your wife from this as much as possible by dealing with the paperwork. There will still come a day when some doctor's office gives her grief over some mundane insurance detail and she'll be furious at having to deal with this.
As you already know - customer service of all kinds is the US is a nightmare compared to what you are used to in Japan. This will bother you a little but drive your wife absolutely insane. Japanese people take it for granted that service workers do their job with politeness and a smile and as you know US customer service is hit or miss. On the other hand 24 hour stores in the US are way more convenient than Japanese convenience stores.
Japanese supermarkets in the US can be quite good depending on where you relocate.
Try to avoid friendships with Japanese in the US who are only here for a few years on overseas work assignments. As they go back to Japan it will devastate your wife. She'll do much better if she can meet Japanese women who are in the US to stay. This may be impossible at first but it might save her some homesick feelings. Even better would be to make some solid American friends but this isn't always going to happen right away.
The hardest part of culture shock is to stop trying to compare the two countries. There is always an urge to whine about some annoyance that is better here or better there. Try to avoid that urge and just accept the US for what it is and move one with life.
Good luck
Look really close. There are too many variables that you have not accounted for in those "facts". Go read "How to lie with Statistics" sometime.
Many of those differences are within the statistical noise.
Others are accounted for by different ways of counting, remember many of these numbers come from the governments who have an advantage if they skew numbers. For example some countries do not count children under 2 in their child mortality rate counts.
Few countries have populations as large as the US, a uniform population with far less outriggers bringing everyone down. Drop Mississippi from the US, and our math standing goes way up. How would Europe fare if they were not only all averaged together, but Yugoslavia was added in. (I'm not sure if you would count Yugoslavia as part of Europe, but that should help you understand)
Are those tests of anything useful? You can do much better than me on a test to define a lot of math terms, but if that test doesn't include using the math to do proofs, or otherwise figure, it is meaningless.
Culture shock? The shock is in moving from a country with a culture to a country with no culture.
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Don't forget that in the USA, public schools HAVE to take ALL students that want in. In most European countries (notably Germany), the schools don't have to take you if you don't get at elast a certain grade on tests. Essentially filtering out those who would drag down the scores to begin with. The USA doesn't do this, hence the score are lower.
Fly me to the moon Let me sing among those stars Let me see what spring is like On jupiter and mars
Too bad we can't moderate this with (-1, shameless plagiarism)... see the original.
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I work with 3 Japanese programmers and two Indian programmers (the reason I mention the Indian programmers is because they also have the same comments).
By far, the biggest comment all of my co-workers have about the culture change, is that Americans are "uncomfortably" informal. My Japanese couterparts mentioned that it took them several years to adjust to the way Americans speak to eachother. You may also find that some Americans are somewhat uncomfortable with "over-politeness" (or our perception of it, anyway).
Finally, both Indian programmers mentioned that their Indian born and raised wives still have a very difficult time building meaningful friendships with American women. I don't know that I can speak as to why, specifically. But I can only imagine that the role of women in the United States must be very different than most other countries.
How much time have you spent in Japan? (Vacations don't count.) ...
Unless your answer is "more than six years" your advice is not exactly useful; not to say anything about the fact that we have no clue as to why he wants to get out of there.
I for one, would NEVER want to bring up a kid in Japan, with their fucked up educational system. ESPECIALLY NOT a kid that the Japanese consider "half". I spent fourteen years in Japan, ten of which were working in "education," so, I have a little bit of a clue as to what is what. I am by NO means expert
"Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead." A. Huxley
Andy Grove is quoted as saying: "Every generation thinks that they invented sex"
Vocal democrats and "progressives" are echoing the same crap as they did in 1960 or 1930 or 1900. US society is full of inequities, injustices and plain stupidity, but those are things that come with all human societies.
If you think that the Netherlands, UK, Australia, Switzerland, Japan or whatever place you consider perfect are utopian societies, you are aptly demonstrating that you ARE the ignorant american that you dislike so much.
While you and your friends are screaming about Bush or the collapse of american society, you miss the benefits you take advantage of as an american.
You fail to mention your Federally-guaranteed student loans and cheap mortgages. You don't bitch about the highways that whisk you to your suburban home or the miracle drugs discovered thanks to government research.
I hate small-minded people. Particularly those who have nothing to do other than criticize and nothing to contribute over hot air. Right-wing, left-wing, a vapid windbag is a vapid windbag.
Conformity is the jailer of freedom and enemy of growth. -JFK