The Solar Death Ray

Ant writes the "Solar Death Ray is made of 112 mirrors mounted on a platform 4 feet wide and 6 feet tall. Each mirror is a square roughly 3.5 inches on edge. All these mirrors focus the sun to a single spot 5 feet, 6 inches from the mirror platform. A wooden fork extends from the mirror base to the area near the focus and serves as a mounting point for Solar Death Ray targets. The mirror platform is mounted to the support frame on a pivot that allows the platform to be angled. The whole system is mounted on a set of wheels. The goal of the Web site was to show the results of the targeted items when the solar death ray was used."

Comments

I've already seen it

[Anonymous Coward]

And Batman & Robin wasn't very good.

the website is subtitled

[winkydink]

How I squandered my youth and why I didn't get laid.

Re:the website is subtitled

[Zone-MR]

Hmmm, judging by his short writeup it seems he's doing everything right.

Re:the website is subtitled

[The Bungi]

I feel a disturbance in the InnoDB table - it's as if suddenly a million .sigs changed to the same exact value.

Slashdot, we have a winner.

Re:the website is subtitled

[yo303]

From his imagined "finding a girlfriend" walkthrough:

I think I need to find the "Conversation Starter" and use it in the "Social Setting," but I can't get past the troll at the entrance to "The Castle of Girls I Don't Know."

Classic.

Re:the website is subtitled

[ockegheim]

I've never dated a mermaid myself, so I'm wondering if they're ummm... all there. If we slashdotters all put in a couple of bucks, he'd be able to buy himself a girlfriend!

Re:the website is subtitled

[DjReagan]

If nothing else, they'll have the smell right.

Re:the website is subtitled

[Headcase88]

Psh, just mod him down 'till he goes past your threshold. That should take care oh 'em.

Heh

[grub]

From his main page:

News:
March 22, 2005: Holy crap! 120,000 page views today!

Solar Death Ray Guy's next News entry should be fun.

Re:Heh

[elflet]

120,000 page views?! That's nothing compared to the Slashdot death ray!

Re:Heh

[cosinezero]

That's not a moon!

Re:Heh

[noidentity]

Here's a related article I just submitted:

"Slashdot Death Ray is made of tens of thousands of geeks, most mounted on platforms approximately one to two feet high, and approximately 18 inches on each edge. Each geek focuses HTTP requests to a single web server at a distance ranging from tens to thousands of miles away. A web site is kept visible at all times on the geeks' computers and serves as mounting point for the URL of Slashdot Death Ray targets. The whole system is mounted on a large rock sphere. The goal of this summary is to show the results of the targeted website when the Slashdot Death Ray is used."

Re:Heh

[Dachannien]

and approximately 18 inches on each edge

Or so we'd like to think.

Wierd! Science?

[FreeLinux]

Kent! Where'd you put the giant bag of popcorn at?

Ultimate Geek Toy

[Zone-MR]

I want to build one of these now... Except I'm in Northern England. I'd be lucky if it could melt marshmallows :p

Re:Ultimate Geek Toy

[Resident Netizen]

Ultimate Geek Coffee?

www.solarroast.com

Finally,...

[ImaLamer]

...someone puts that damn Rock and Roll music to good use!

From the Website

[th1ckasabr1ck]

"Join the fun! Suggest a target!"

Dantooine. I mean Alderan. I don't understand the question.

Re:From the Website

[Anonymous Coward]

That's no sun!

The Alan Parsons Project

[AtariAmarok]

"Ant writes the "Solar Death Ray is made of 112 mirrors mounted on a platform 4 feet wide and 6 feet tall...."

Yeah, but can you mount it on the head of a friggin shark?

Who needs a solar death ray...

[kennyj449]

when you can just point Slashdot at a server?

Warning!

[Eryq]

Don't look at mirrors with remaining... er... head...

Re:Ha! You call that a solar death ray?

[John Seminal]

I also used my HP48SX calculator (running a terminal emulator) to command the telescope to slew. Because of this, I claim the CSO as world's the largest and most expensive peripheral for a pocket calculator.

You are such a nerd. We will have to make you king of the winter carnival.

10 metres of high-precision parabolic polished aluminium

Why aluminum? Is it the most reflective substance on earth?

we had strict instructions to never let the sun fall on the dish

No matter where you point it, you are pointing it somewhere.

And make sure to not leave it pointing in the direction of the only all-black fraternity house on campus. That could start up those nasty black versus nerd wars again. Instead, point it at the Sigma Chi house, those bastards are always burning down their own house... nobody will suspect anything.

I'd like to see...

[Pig Hogger]

I'd like to see a beowulf cluster of those...

Ob. Simpsons

[rokzy]

Grampa: What the hell is that?
Frink: Why, it's a death ray my good man, behold.
(Frink fires death ray)
Grampa: Hey, feels warm, kinda nice.
Frink: Well it's just a prototype, with proper funding I'm
confident this little baby could destroy an area the
size of New York City.
Grampa: But I want to help people, not kill 'em.
Frink: Oh, well to be honest, the ray only has evil
applications. You know my wife will be happy,
she's hated this whole death ray thing from day
one.

http://www.snpp.com/guides/prof.frink.html

Solar Death Ray

[TimeTraveler1884]

I hate to be the one to point this out, but um. They haven't actually killed anything. This more accurately should be called a Solar Plastic-Melting Ray.

Re:Ha! You call that a solar death ray?

[Geoffreyerffoeg]

Quattuor res in hoc mundo sanctae sunt: libri, liberi, libertas et liberalitas.

You forgot libstdcpp.

The website death ray

[Junior J. Junior III]

"Slashdot Death Ray is made of 1 website and no mirrors of the target site mounted on a platform of linux, perl, and horribly mangled html. Each user is a square (ed. note: update to modern parlance, ie "geek"). All these mirrors focus the slashdot to a single web server. A wooden fork is stuck into the web server after it melts to signify that it is "done". The mirror platform is often asked for and often denied by CmdrTaco, who mounted his stock answer on an FAQ somewhere. The whole system is mounted on a stack of open protocols dating back to the early days of DARPA. The goal of the Web site was to show the results of the targeted items when the slashdot death ray was used."

Re:Don't /. the site

[Anonymous Coward]

You must be new here. We like doing that !

Kindergarten Death Squad!!!

[Meostro]

I always wanted to round up a kindergarten class worth of children to act as my solar death squad. Here's how it would work:

1. Give each kid their own shiny little mirror with a post-it note stuck on it to block the shiny part
2. One at a time, have them remove the post-it, aim their mirror to reflect the sun upon some point, then re-post-it.
3. Once everyone is aimed (30 kids or so), have them all remove their post-its at once, instantly creating a plasma-hot ball of fire at the point of focus, incinerating your enemies with the might of a kindergarten class.

Has anyone else had this idea too, or am I the only weirdo around here?

Re:Kindergarten Death Squad!!!

[Mulletproof]

[i] I always wanted to round up a kindergarten class worth of children to act as my solar death squad.[/i]

Just make sure to weed out those ADD kids. Nothing is worse than being disentigrated by your own Kindergarden Solar Death Ray Squad(TM) just because one wants to play with a bug or something.

Metaslashdotting...

[Weyoun]

ERROR
The requested URL could not be retrieved

While trying to retrieve the URL: http://www.solardeathray.com.nyud.net:8090/

The following error was encountered:

* Access Denied.

Access control configuration prevents your request from being allowed at this time. Please contact your service provider if you feel this is incorrect.

What do you expect me to do, squeal?

[Bun]

No, Mister Duck. I expect you to die!

Re:The myth is dead! Long live the myth!

[cft_128]

A Greek scientist, Dr. ioannis Sakkas, curious about whether Archimedes could really have used a "burning glass" to destroy the Roman fleet in 212 BC lined up nearly 60 Greek sailors, each holding an oblong mirror tipped to catch the Sun's rays and direct them at a wooden ship 160 feet away. The ship caught fire at once.....Sakkas said after the experiment there was no doubt in his mind the great inventor could have used bronze mirrors to scuttle the Romans

Does Dr. Ioannis Sakkas work for NBC's nightline by chance?

Re:The myth is dead! Long live the myth!

[sydb]

In order to focus the sun's rays, fuckwit.

Re:To sum it up...

[Anonymous Coward]

Maxim burns when it gets real hot, too.

Re:The myth is dead! Long live the myth!

[nrlightfoot]

Like hell Archimedes didn't set ships on fire with mirrors! We're talking about a guy who built a giant mechanical arm to tip over ships in the harbor in the 3rd century BC! I think burning ships with mirrors would be easier than that!

I don't think so!

[Sponge Bath]

...112 mirrors mounted on a platform 4 feet wide and 6 feet tall.

There is no way that would fit on the head of a dolphin.
So what use is it to me?

Re:Ha! You call that a solar death ray?

[hawk]

>>[imp.cnrs.fr]

> I surrender.

Wait a minute; isn't this backwards?

:)

hawk

Re:Magnification does nothing

[jericho4.0]

While we're on the topic, I would also like to point out you shouldn't smoke in bed, or have unprotected anal sex with people you meet in parks.

Re:Magnification does nothing

[jericho4.0]

No they're not similar at all. The microscope uses lenses and refractors, while the telescope uses magic.

Re:Solar Death Ray

[mswope]

I have this mental image of him trying to sneak up on the "enemy" to get that thing within 4 feet of them and then trying to get on the side of them away from the sun...
"Behold the terrible power of the SUN! Hold still, please!"

Re:Solar Death Ray

[liquidsin]

I don't know how this got to (Score 3, Insightful), but the genius mod responsible is my new fucking hero.

DeathRay + target quest + girlfriend quest

[amanox]

Oh Dear... I hope this does not add up ...

Re:Magnification does nothing

[RsG]

oops

(stubs out cigarette)

(puts condom over telescope)

(puts filter lense on penis)

there, all better

waitaminute...