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Fermilab Reports Dark Energy Not Needed

Posted by Hemos on from the like-inflation-in-gas-prices dept.

An anonymous reader writes "A Fermilab press release reports that the expansion of the universe may be explainable without the need for dark energy or a cosmological constant. Apparently, ripples from inflation in the early universe may account for the observed expansion rate of the universe."

20 of 416 comments (clear)

  1. Nothing for you to see here. by brilinux · · Score: 5, Funny
    Nothing for you to see here. Please move along.

    Well, apparently the dark matter is still important on Slashdot.

    1. Re:Nothing for you to see here. by erice · · Score: 2, Funny

      Nothing for you to see here. Please move along.

      Wouldn't that be, nothing for you to *not* see here?

  2. DUH. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    DUH.

  3. Inflation... by ackthpt · · Score: 5, Funny
    Apparently, ripples from inflation in the early universe may account for the observed expansion rate of the universe."

    Hmm. Better check the exchange rates on Altairian Dollars, Flainian Pobble Beads and the Triganic Pu.

    Has anyone contacted Alan Greenspan about this?

    --

    A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
  4. Eddies in the space time continuum by starling · · Score: 4, Funny

    Arthur : Oh, is he?

  5. Roadrunner Cosmology by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

    So it is like when Wile E. Coyote yanks the road up and down and the ripple gets bigger and bigger as it moves toward the Roadrunner? (and then bounces off a mountain side, comes back, and smashes Coyote.) Next you know they will find a giant U magnet at the edge of the universe.

    --
    Table-ized A.I.
  6. WWDVS? by LokieLizzy · · Score: 5, Funny
    (What would Darth Vader say?)

    "Do not be so proud of this cosmological terror you have created. Its existence pales when compared to the power of the Dark Side."

    --
    My digital rights don't need management.
  7. If Dark Energy is not needed by sharkey · · Score: 3, Funny

    Then there's no need for Branigan's Law.

    --

    --
    "Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
  8. Re:How did the ripples get there? by pintpusher · · Score: 2, Funny

    Is this like trying to pick up the soap in the shower?

    --
    man, I feel like mold.
  9. The true explanations for the Universal Expansion. by Timmy+D+Programmer · · Score: 3, Funny

    The mystery of why the universe is expanding more rapidly rather that slowing down is explained easily with the following theory:

    'Our' Universe actually resides within a red rubber ball that belongs to gigantic beings, and it is currently being inflated

    I simply fear they will begin playing dodgeball soon.

    --


    (If at first you don't succeed, do it different next time!)
  10. That Einstein... by Omniscientist · · Score: 5, Funny
    "Whether Einstein was right when he first introduced the cosmological constant, or whether he was right when he later refuted the idea will soon be tested by a new round of precision cosmological observations," Kolb said.

    So either way, Einstein was right. Damn you Einstein!!!

  11. Fermilab Reports Dark Energy Not Needed by secolactico · · Score: 4, Funny

    Fermilab Reports Dark Energy Not Needed

    Well, thank god! I was going crazy trying to find some.

    --
    No sig
  12. I believe in Dark Energy, and... by LokieLizzy · · Score: 5, Funny
    I'm not a scientist.

    But I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night. And when the lights went out at midnight (power outage), I can assure you that there was more than a little energy going on in the room next door.

    --
    My digital rights don't need management.
  13. Yeah, but... by baldass_newbie · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...eddies in the space time continuum.

    --
    The opposite of progress is congress
  14. In other news... by sPaKr · · Score: 4, Funny

    The producers of Startrek Enterprise gave themselves concusions from repeated blows of their heads to their desks. One producer cried "Ripples in space time explain the universe, WHY COULDNT WE GET THESE GUYS AS WRITERS!'

    1. Re:In other news... by ari_j · · Score: 4, Funny

      How about

      COMES NOW the plaintiffs, who allege:

      1. Plaintiffs are producers of the TV show Star Trek: Enterprise.
      2. Defendants are the class of all scientists in the world.
      3. Defendants stole and used as their own a plot device from the Star Trek: Enterprise finale; namely the idea that ripples in space-time explain the universe.
      4. Because of defendants' act of plagiarism as described in paragraph 3, plaintiffs suffered gazillions of dollars of damages.

      WHEREFORE plaintiffs demand that the court give them gazillions of dollars from the scientists, and rename the universe "Space: The Final Frontier."

  15. Re:But what about the Horizon problem? by niktemadur · · Score: 5, Funny

    While it is a generally accepted law that nothing WITHIN space can travel faster than light, this law may not apply to SPACE ITSELF, which could inflate at superluminous speeds if the correct conditions are present.

    I know this sounds bizarre, and I'm no expert on the subject, but I'll try to give a simple example that even I can understand:

    Let's say space is like a balloon.
    Matter are the molecules within that balloon.
    The matter within may not move faster than light by its' own means.
    But the balloon may inflate faster than light, and the matter within goes along for the ride.
    At the end of inflation, the matter has kept its' same relative position in space.

    The correct condition for inflation to happen is known as supercooling. Here is an example that Alan Guth used to describe it: water that's below 32 degrees farenheit but retains its' liquid state. However, just gently tap the plastic mold and the water will abruptly crystalize into ice before your very eyes. Supercooled water.

    Another example would be a beer in the freezer that's liquid, but turns to ice from the top down when you open the lid. Supercooled beer.

    Accordingly, the universe would have to inflate at a certain speed (much faster than light) to re-attain its' appropriate state under specific conditions.

    According to Alan Guth, most of the universe's matter cancelled itself out instants after the Big Bang, due to matter-antimatter collitions. In a super-excited state, the universe found itself almost empty, and had to readjust by inflation and a spontaneous burst of creation of matter. In fact, Guth said that with 28 pounds of matter under the right conditions, a universe just as massive as ours could be created. This is why Guth said that our universe could be the ultimate "free lunch".

    --
    Lil' Thindime, lilting a lacrimose lament, krashes the kwaint konfines of Kokonino Kounty
  16. Re:Can somebody fill me in here... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    A cosmological constant is like a global variable, only with broader scope and remaining constant.

  17. In the words of Rainer Wolfcastle... by isny · · Score: 2, Funny

    Einsteiiiinnnnnnnn!!!!!!! (shakes fists in the air)

  18. Re:Difference? by hesiod · · Score: 2, Funny

    > 5. The Duct Tape Force, which sticks things that are unstuck
    > 6. The WD-40 Force, which unsticks things that are stuck

    Which brings me to my next point. Never try to remove duct tape with WD-40, or the universe may disappear.