Tiger Woods Signs Deal To Be Apple Spokeperson

varmittang writes "Tiger Woods has signed a long-term deal with Apple Computers as Mac OS X 'Tiger' spokesperson. He's apparently trying to align himself with the 'best brands' in each market, and Apple just seemed like the right pick." From the article: "Tiger Woods and Apple Computer is the perfect marriage, with both of us striving to be the best. With OS X, Apple is the industry innovator in operating systems and our 'Tiger+Tiger' partnership help tell the world about the benefits of using Mac OS X...Others are now following OS X's taillights, and 'Tiger+Tiger' will make it even harder for them to ever catch up."

Comments

It's too bad

[Kittyflipping]

the deal with Tony the Tiger didn't pan out.

Re:It's too bad

[Anonymous Coward]

that would have been grrrrreeeaaattt!

Re:It's too bad

[Striikerr]

In an interesting twist, Microsoft has just inked a deal with Count Chocula to be their spokesman er spokesghoul.
Count Chocula felt that it was a perfect fit as Microsoft likes to suck the life from its competitors and money from the pockets of the masses much like the Count sucks the blood from the living.
"It's a great match", the Count was heard to remark while feasting upon yet another young victim, "Microsoft and I both wind up with mindless zombies, willing to do the bidding of their master". The use of the word zombie in relation to Microsoft apparently refers to the term used for computers on the internet which were compromised and under the control of someone else, typically running a Microsoft product.

Re:It's too bad

[Class Act Dynamo]

Does it strike anybody as a little strange/suspicious that the 52-year-old Count Chocula spends his time almost exclusively with preteen adolescents, enticing them with chocolate? I, for one, am worried.

Re:It's too bad

[mbbac]

Insanely Grrrrreeeaaattt!

Great news!

[kamapuaa]

Too bad this news isn't real (or is it???). Apple's market share could double, to an astounding 6%!

Go On . . .

[White Roses]

Well, since I work for the "Go on, be a Tiger" company already, and I used Macs at home, I suppose this means I'd better start golfing. That way, I can get the trifecta of Tiger advertising influence.

So is it...

[Xepherys2]

tiger + tiger

-or-

tiger^2

I think this is important, as it's plain to see that tiger^2 would yield a much more powerful result

Re:So is it...

[Anonymous Coward]

not always, in fact it can yield a decreasing result. For instance, let's set tiger to X.

in the case that X=2

X+X=2+2=4
X^2=2^2=4
equal results.

Now let's look at the case for decreasing results

in the case that X=1

X+X=1+1=2
X^2=1^2=1

or, in the case that X=.5

X+X=.5+.5=1
X^2=.5^2=.25

now, we know that apple has a 3% market share. That means that tiger=0.03. So lets figure this out.

tiger+tiger=0.03+0.03=0.06 or 6% market share
tiger^2=0.03^2=0.0009 or 0.09% market share

So, obviously a tiger^2 technique would be sorely mistaken, and a tiger+tiger technique would be far superior!

Together We Can Get Through This

[orson_of_fort_worth]

Keep telling each other that "April 2nd will be here soon."

Slashdot...

[Anonymous Coward]

News for Nerds..Stuff that's...not...real...

Quick! Have a baby and name him LongHorn!

[krunk4ever]

The first one to have a baby named LongHorn will be endorsed by Microsoft and be paid millions! So if your wife (or *cough*) is pregnant and is due in several months, you might wanna reconsider naming your child robert, david, john, or something else generic like that.

Name him LongHorn!

Re:Quick! Have a baby and name him LongHorn!

[theMerovingian]

Nah, MS will just open up an Austin office, to associate themselves with the University of Texas Longhorns (who are going to get absolutely creamed by Ohio State - mark my words. Ted Ginn Jr. is unstoppable, and Troy Smith hung more yards than anyone else on Michigan..).

I went to the University of Oklahoma, you insensitive clod!

(we hate Texas!)

Nothing but the best

[Reality Master 101]

He's apparently trying to align himself with the 'best brands' in each market, and Apple just seemed like the right pick.

Yes, because we know that Buick makes the best cars in the world.

doesn't it suck when...

[xutopia]

april fools jokes are written with more professionalism than real stories?

I can't wait till we go back to dupes and typos again.

I hate april 1st. Worst day of the year.

Blake fans?

[TheGreatGraySkwid]

Tiger + Tiger, burning bright,
like a Photo iPod in the night,
what graphic designer's hand or eye,
dare pixellate thy symmetry.

Re:Time for real news

[SmokeHalo]

Credibility would go down and people would become annoyed

In other words, business as usual for Slashdot.

Ah, but it's a slippery slope we'd be starting on, if we curtailed our April Fooling activities:

• We'd stop getting the day off for Thanksgiving and Christmas
• Halloween would be reduced to a mere 1-hour trick-or-treat window
• Chicken rights advocates would rail against the sweatshop conditions as Easter approaches (much to the consternation of Egg Councils everywhere)
• Next thing you know, we're ignoring SysAdmin Appreciation Day

Where would it end?

In related news...

[EricTheGreen]

Claiming tortious interference with an existing business relationship, General Mills has filed suit to block the MS-Chocula deal.

"The Count has been an integral part of our GM team for 34 years. Any money sucking he will be doing will be into General Mills' coffers, not some two-bit meat packing company", apparently referring to the upcoming Longhorn release of Microsoft's flagship product. "We look forward to maintaining the productive relationship between the Count and worldwide youth for many years to come.", according to an unsigned press release from General Mills.

Microsoft spokespeople had no official comment on the suit. Well-connected individuals, speaking anonymously, claimed that a contingency plan, seeking to enlist the services of Count Dracula, has already been put into effect, claiming "Microsoft can make do with pretty much any kind of sucker." One snag in the plan has been the inability of the Count's legal and marketing representatives to make contact with their client, as his last known address has been the subject of considerable debate.

{boy,oh, boy, way too much free time today...}

Re:Marketing

[Anonymous Coward]

"Tiger Woods and Apple Computer is the perfect marriage, with both of us striving to be the best."

Speaking as a Business Major, it always amazes me to what levels of mindless drivel we can achieve to market a product without even the remotest feeling of embarrassment.

Speaking as a human being, I am never amazed at the humorlessness and poor written English of business majors.