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Monkeys Don't Like Macs
sebFlyte writes "silicon.com is reporting on a new twist on some oft-done probability research, into the suggestion that an infinite number of monkeys will eventually produce a perfect script for Hamlet , given typewriters (or indeed keyboards) and enough time. The researchers claims that the monkeys used in their test preferred using systems running Windows XP to those running Mac OS X. Which begs the question -- do only monkeys use Windows, or can even monkeys tell Macs aren't worth bothering with?"
It's just that the monkeys couldn't get the hang of the one-buttoned mouse.
The next Slashdot story will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and see it early! God I wish I had one today, I can't wait for the next story.
"Who says nothing is impossible? Some people do it every day!" - Alfred E. Neuman
YOU IDIOTS
First Post?
Frylock: "We should have cloned twenties, Jackson wouldn't have given a fuck."
An infinite amount of monkeys could also come up with the mess that is windows source code
/. is not to be used by individuals with high blood pressure or a history of heart attacks
But, my girlfriend does, so they can't be that hard to use... And, she talks in Shakespearian, too!
what's funny is all the sad gits completely freaking out cos slashdot is taking a few hours off to goof around!
/me deletes slashdot bookmark
are we done yet?
The day that everybody had their chance for a first post.
We get it, you are funny...
Maybe the monkees paid for their Macs. That's silly since everyone knows that you can get a Mac mini for free.
I wait for a nice Apple anouncement all day and suddenly /. has 30 fake articles an hour?! End the madness!
as long as Monkees still like Micks
Well moneys to like bugs. So i makes sense that the PC is for them
huh.. but we are related to the monkey that means people hate.. snif..macs!
Oooooo, eeeeee, oooooo, eeeeee
Banana!
Oooooo, eeeeee, oooooo, eeeeee
No, Apple!
Oooooo, eeeeee, oooooo, eeeeee
Cuanta mierda
It doesn't BEG the question, it RAISES the question.
No, really.
Small potatoes make the steak look bigger.
you insensitive clod !
even though i like macs, monkeys are related to humans and most humans use windows. It depends if this was an average monkey or a genious monkey. you see since the more people are educated about computers the more they use macs. Maybe this "average" monkey was hired by microsoft there are many questions here.
I lost my karma, last april fools...
I usually refresh Slashdot day in and day out, but this is getting out of control... *closes firefox*
AAAH! I'm bored!
*goes back to reading more April Fools stories, now matter how dumb they are...*
Good times, good times.
PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP!!!
With a million monkeys and a million Macs, eventually one of them will produce the works of Shakespeare. Also likely, one of them will produce "Windows ME" long before this, however.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
Developers! Developers! Developers! says the Monkey Boy.
Well, is this an owning of Slashdot to coincide with April 1st?
Don't know about monkeys, but an infinite number of Texans with an infinite number of shotguns, and a long enough stretch of Interstate highway, will produce a perfect script for Hamlet, albeit in Braille.
March to end "Beg The Question" abuse
But seriously isn't this FlameBait?
Insert Generic Sig Here:
Wrong fucking DATE. The world moved on and left you guys behind.
Story of your life, eh?
Looks like you forgot to plug ThinkGeek this time!
Only 6 hours to go, folks. That's only 180 more hilarious April Fool's day gags.
Bliss for another 364 days. Then the onslaught of cleverness starts over again.
One word, one syllable: Weak
H.
Robert Wilensky joked that...
"We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."
Monkeys like bugs and windows have more bugs in it than Mac. Considering the above facts, this news is not suprising. move on.
A man brought his money into a bar... after a few drinks, the monkey hopped up onto the bar, swallowed an apple whole, smashed a pool cue, then popped up on the pool table and devoured a cue ball. Embarrassed by that behavior, the man grabbed the money and escaped the bar.
2 weeks later, the monkey acompanied the man to the bar again. Subdued, it hopped on to the bar, grabbed a cherry, stuffed it into his rear, pulled it out, and ate it. The bartender, disgusted, asked the man why on earth he's bringing that monkey in... Why, after making a wreck last time and showing peculiar eating habbits today?
"Well", says the man, "he's learned a lot since eating that cue ball. For instance, he checks the size of anything he eats."
Whatever happened to the Stuff that matters part of the /. tagline?
I think we have enough April Fools jokes to last us the year.
Fuck me !
This looks like the perfect Gnome usability study.
In the hidden third paragraph we find that "9 out of 10 monkeys preferred spatial Nautilus".
Ahahahahhahahahahahaha. Not.
I bet the study was funded by Microsoft.
the entire works of Shakespeare have shown up as Slashdot commentary. Shakespeare's lawyers wanted to talk to Slashdot but they've all been killed.
Mac's are for the intelligent population, Monkey's are well below average.
let those below average intelligent people use Windows. The rest of us know what a real OS can do for us, instead of to us.
i thought once I was found, but it was only a dream.
...was that first they were shown videos of Steve Ballmer's "Developers developers developers" dance...
Guess we know know which one Bush prefers.
HD Trailers
I think the internet has helped to disprove this assertion.
This proves conclusively that windows XP users are monkeys.
I mean this is some serious scientific data, it shows that if you've less IQ and are a monkey you prefer XP.
When are they trying it with fish.
I see it now: fish prefer OpenBSD
Maybe a huge pile of April Fool stories on slashdot is the April fool joke this time. Or maybe all the monkies have been hired by slashdot.
I think it begs the question "Does this explain why less intelligent humans use Windows?"
Begging the question refers to using the result of a proof as a given or assumption. It has nothing to do with raising a question, it's a type of circular logical fallacy. Google definition
this is not what 'begs the question' means.
You only need a one monkey with an infinite amount of time, or if you have an infinite number of monkeys then it is done instantaneously.
Cambridge Univirserty has done a study and found that 4 out of 5 happy sheep perfer Macs.
that most consumers are as smart as primates.
Monkeys with infinite time, each and every one will eventually evolve into something smarter than Shakespeare and write their own Hamlet.
Mod parent up!
and that's still funny. LOL!
Only MONKEYS use WINDOWS
A few observations:
1. I've always believed that only lower life forms chose Windows and now there is scientific proof.
2. It's also revealing that as usual, the lower the life form the more they wail against and defecate on the Mac, always choosing destruction of what they can't comprehend, over intelligent use.
3. The experiment is certainly instructive and revealing with respect to todays business environment, where the similarity in intellect and sophistication of monkeys correlates so strongly with the average Windows user.
4. Excellent demonstration of Windows ability to suspend reason, causing IT and senior management, to always chooses the virus infested Windows environment and to irrationally hate Macs.
5. Its also no surprise that the monkeys application of choice is Outlook, coincidentally the ONLY Office application not created on the Mac and also unavailable (thank goodness) for the Mac.
6. Last and most damning is video proof that monkeys run Microsoft.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/media/578.mpeg
This is the "Monkey Boy" video of Steve Balmer doing his monkey dance at the developers conference. It's apparent there has always been a primal linkage between the lower primates and Windows, now science has confirmed what every Mac user has always intuitively known.
Of course, our simian siblings don't like Macs--they haven't yet evolved.
I might know what I'm talkin' about, but then again, this is Slashdot...