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Airport Screeners could see X-rated X-rays
AdamBomb writes "Think airport security is bad enough already? Well, the Department of Homeland Security is now planning on rolling out new machines that will allow screeners to actually see through clothing. Could be bad news, though privacy advocates are obviously fighting it."
It's time to get a job as an airport screener!
How am I supposed to fit a pithy, relevant quote into 120 characters?
We don't see any saucy pictures. Just so you know.
Guy asked me for a quarter for a cup of coffee. So I bit him.
1. Where do I apply
2. How do I get put in charge of the 'Hot Chick' section
and oh yeah, something about "my rights are being taken away and freedom is dyin...blah blah blah"
"Plans are for fools! Oglethorpe, the plutonian (Aqua Teen Hunger Force)
Have you seen regular people in society? like 1/3 of people are overweight and many people are OLD..... yeah it would be nice when a euro female soccer team comes thru but UGH I would not want to see the normal 40something soccer MOM (or dad)!
What if this means we won't be padded down anymore?!
Sample this!
Somehow I don't think the screeners will be having much fun. Sure, once in a while they'll get some hot sauce, but when I walk through? They'll get an overweight 6' tall fat guy, with a prince albert. Take that!
When can we expect the retail eye-wear version of this technology to be mass produced?
</obligatory>
Let the commencement BEGINULATE!
The city of chicago followed next, installing 3000 camera's. They can look inside cars. They can tell if you're smoking a joint. They can tell if you're talking to a prostitute.
The city of naperville is installing fingerprint machines in order for people to use the library.
The United States Congress is pushing for a national ID card, with biometrics.
Lets face it, people will soon be tracked, it will be impossible to just slip into a city. The police will know who you are and where you are at all times.
They will soon take your DNA, without your agreement. Anyone hear about DNA dragnets being used in towns? And it is easy for them to get it. They pull you over in your car, they take you down to the station with a bogus charge. They take your picture and fingerprints. They then tell you, we'll we made a mistake, sorry, you're free to go. And as you leave, they vacum up the hair that fell out off your head. Now they have all the information, and there is nothing you can do about it.
So what if they can see you naked? Big deal. That should be the least of your worries, that Officer Friendly can see your wee-wee. What would worry me more is he can keep a tab on what your reading at the library.
Databases are here to stay, and in the future your whole life will exist in a database, somewhere.
It sucks, but that is the preperation for the revolution. If you're not willing to work 50 hours a week just to cover your rent, you will be labled a terrorist. Cuba is waiting for all who complain.
Rosco: "If brains were gunpowder, Enos couldn't blow his nose."
Might be kind of tough for the flight attendant to serve the pilots their meals on long distance flights by traversing the exterior of the plane.
Here's a sample of what they see:
http://www.freedomisslavery.info/index.php?p=1138
Wow, that just looks gross, I certainly don't envy them!
Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
...for airport security, honestly!", Thus spoke the geek inventor of the device he affectionally calls "the incredible peepshow machine". "It took quite a bit of tweaking to get the part of the nipples and genitals outlines right though"
Visit http://ringbreak.dnd.utwente.nl/~mrjb/growingbettersoftware to download your free copy of the book
security guy: Please step aside sir!
guy: Who me?
security guy: Yes you with the cock ring
Sample this!
Bad news for me?
No.
In my current obese state it's bad news for the poor sods who have to look through the device.
whew, luckily there are no gay people working at the airports
do you have shinyfeet?
Well, I like it.
If a male has nothing to hide, that's exactly the reason why he is concerned to be seen naked.
What Would John Ashcroft Do? Oh, the dilemma!
rofl the name of the manufacturer is Rapiscan? That is awesome
How about 10 terrorists posing as peace officers can have a shooting "contest" 50 thousand feet in the air with maybe 5 or 6 actual peace officers to see who can outgun each other. All this while there are hundreds of other passengers onboard. Now that's what I call 'safety'
"The Thomas Jefferson Experience"? Man, my band has just found itself a new name!
I had a dream, bright and carefree, but now there's doubt and gravity
Might buy a lottery ticker while i'm at it.
you should buy a ticket as well, the ticker is only gonna show you the money you didn't win.
"BSD: Free as in speech. Linux: Free as in beer. Windows 10: Free as in herpes." --Man On Pink Corner in #52607549.
see, the fondling is my problem with airport security too...it just never lasts *quite* long enough.
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. -- George Carlin
interviewer: are you gay\bisexual
interviewee: *lies* no.
interviewer: ok ur hired
interviewee: *grins*
I am going to patent a line of obfuscation undergarments and make a fortune. Using metal microfilament thread woven into a mesh. You'll be able to choose between a smilie face, a finger flipping the TSA the bird and for the more adventurous, the John Holmes line (only available as boxers).
Thats it, lets give good ol' Osama a nice big hug... he's not bad, just misunderstood!
Kummm-baaaa-yaaaaaaa
Oh, that's not true - there are lots of undetectable plastic guns. They just shoot plastic bullets, is all.
Proud neuron in the Slashdot hivemind since 2002.
What about the bullets? hmm? Are they plastic? I agree...this has to be urban legend.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one the bus load of girls just went down.
Because you could NEVER stick a ceramic knife between your butt cheeks, right?
This is NOT going to stop someone who is dedicated to wiping out a couple hundred people.
This is purely for that cute blonde in that line over there...
Wait til Paris Hilton has to fly someplace and her pix show up on the front page of the tabloids. She'll be getting frequent flyer miles to get the free publicity.
So is it going to be separate male-female lines? And will the women's line always be longer?
Intron: the portion of DNA which expresses nothing useful.
If you get to the airport really early, you could simply go back through the line again.
I Am My Own Worst Enemy
A couple of years ago (about a year after 9/11) I was travelling home after visiting a friend. I had a little bottle of rum in my backpack to enjoy on the plane. After passing through airport security I went to the bathroom. I hung the (very full) backpack on the hook on the toilet stall. It fell and I heard the bottle shatter.
I emptied all the shattered glass I could get to and soaked up the rum with paper towels. Then I stood in line to board the plane. Of course, I was singled out to be searched. I warned the agent that I had shattered a bottle so he should be careful of broken glass when he poked around in the bag (it could have cut him pretty badly). He took a look, and then, unsure what to do, went to talk to his supervisor.
The agent and his supervisor discussed the problem for a while and then the agent informed me that I could board the plane only after they ensured that all pieced of glass large enough to be used as a weapon had been removed from my backpack.
So, yeah, intact glass bottles are ok--but broken glass is absolutely not allowed. Just so you know.
---watch funny commercials.
No doubt this will get read by only one or two, since I entered into the discussion so late in the game.
Perhaps someone has even already suggested it... but why don't we simply fly naked? If security issues are so terrible that we have to be implement these outlandish meausres, why not simply make it impossible to carry anything on your person.
I envision a simple scenario. You check into the airport, where you are shown to a private changing area. You are issued a nice terry cloth robe and a pair of slippers and told to change into it. The clothes brought with you are held in special bags for re-issue once you arrive at your destination. After you change, you collect your carry on and continue throught the metal detector as usual. The difference now would be walking through would be a cinch. You've already taken off all metal objects, so the scanners could be set to a rather high sensitivity. The lines through the scanner would be quick, no more idiots having to walk through ten times removing one ring each time, no more removing of shoes to be put through the x-ray machine. Aside from all that, you'd feel like you were taking a nice trip to the spa in your sexy robe (no doubt emblazoned with corporate logos).
'The poets are strangely silent on the subject of cheese...' - Gilbert Keith Chesterton