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What's the Best Geek Joke You Know?
super_ogg writes "To break some of the office blues, I decided to tell the worst geek joke I know: 'Why did the Comp. Engineer get X-mas and Halloween mixed up? A: Because Oct(31) == Dec(25)!' Some groaned, some laughed, but only a geek could understand it. I was wondering what are some of the best/worst geek jokes people have out there for the Slashdot community?"
A: None. It's a hardware problem.
Q- Who was the first computer technician?
A- Eve. She had an Apple in one hand and a Wang in the other.
Trolling is a art,
There are only 10 kinds of people in the world:
.... ha ha
... groan
Those who know binary
And those who don't
A cop pulls over Dr. Heisenburg and says, "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"
Dr. Heisenburg responds, "NO, but I know EXACTLY where I am"
Professor: What is the integral of dcabin over cabin?
Student: Log cabin
Professor: No, its a house boat! You forgot to add the C
Professor: What is the area of a circle
Student: Pi R square
Professor: Pi are not square, Pie are round
Thoughts on tech, Software Engineering, and stuff
Go here and have fun.
a recent one:
pathogen: in maths today we found out that 1+3+3+7 = 14
pathogen: so therefore 1337 = 14
pathogen: so anyone who speaks 1337 is 14
With so many ppl on
The instructions on his shampoo said: Lather, rinse, repeat.
\/\/oobie
A helicopter with a pilot and a single passenger was flying around above Seattle when a malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's navigation and communications equipment. Due to the darkness and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to get back to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building with lights on and flew toward it, the pilot had the passenger draw a handwritten sign reading "WHERE AM I?" and hold it up for the building's occupants to see.
People in the building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the passenger asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position.
The pilot responded "I knew that had to be the Microsoft support building, they gave me a technically correct but entirely useless answer."
Error: PANTS NOT FOUND. Press <F1> to continue.
A computer programmer was driving his Porsche down the road. He stops for a stop sign and notices a frog in the middle of the road. The frog says to the programmer 'Hey you in the car. I'm not really a frog. I used to be a beautiful princess. If you kiss me, I will turn back into a princess and in return I will give you the best night of sex you've ever had.' The computer programmer mumbles, 'sure, yeah.' He picks up the frog and then continues down the road. The frog then says, 'OK look. If you kiss me, I'll give you a whole week of incredible sex.' The programmer mumbles, 'sure, yeah.' The frog says more forcably this time, 'Look maybe you don't understand. I'm tired of being a frog. If you kiss me I'll give you the best sex you've ever had for the rest of your entire life.' Once again the programmer mumbles 'sure, yeah.' Finally the frog says, 'Well can you at least tell me why you won't kiss me?' The computer programmer says 'Well you see I'm a computer programmer and don't have much time for sex. But a talking frog is really neat.'
http://Lenny.com
A logician tells a collegue his wife just had a baby.
- Is it a boy or a girl?
- Yes.
(translated from french, but should be understandable...)
the input arguments?
Singularity: a belief in the "God" idea with the "demiurge" relation inverted.
I once saw a beetle with a license plate that read "FEATURE." ;)
"What's wrong?" asks e^x.
"There's a Differential Operator in town!" yells x^2. "If I run into him too many times, I'll disappear!"
"Don't worry," responds e^x. "I'll go have a chat with him. No, don't worry about me -- he can't hurt me. After all, I'm e^x."
So e^x walks down the street to the Differential Operator. "My friend tells me you're a Differential Operator," e^x says pompously. "Well, I'm e^x."
"Pleased to meet you, e^x," says the Differential Operator. "I'm d/dt."
Next tie please proofread before posting.
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd... "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure." The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM Thinkpad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says....... "You have exactly 1586 sheep." "That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car. Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my animal?" "OK, why not." answered the young man. "Clearly, you are a consultant." said the shepherd. "That's correct." says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give me back my dog."