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Neanderthal Genome to be Sequenced
Aneurysm writes "A project launched by the Max-Planck Institute of Evolutionary Anthropology will sequence the genome of Neanderthal man. The sequencing project may find out important information, such as whether they cross-bred with modern humans. Previous DNA tests have tested this theory, and found it unlikely. Could this be the start of a Pleistocene park?"
I could have easily supplied the necessary sample for testing...
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Esobofh - Currently drinking fresh mango juice.
July 06, 2005: Project to sequence genome of Neanderthal Man begins.
September 3, 2009: Genome of Neanderthal Man sequenced.
March 21, 2012: Neanderthal Man cloned.
April 4, 2015: Neanderthal Man reaches the point of being able to form, in a grunting, slurred speech, individual english words.
April 5, 2015: Neanderthal Man starts blog
Gene sequencing is so simple even a caveman can do it.
"Could this be the start of a Pleistocene park?"
Nah my nephew has been working on a pleistocene park for a while now. He's got the swings, sandbox, and slide done (he had the see-saws done too but he accidentally stepped on them). If you want to pitch in he could use some help with the merri-go-round I'm sure.
He was originally using playdough but I caught him eating it one too many times so I switched him over to pleistocene.
- Toby
What if they find it's the same DNA we have and it tuns out they just had some serious back problems?
Evolution or ID?
They are going to clone Liam Gallaher!?
Man is a slave because freedom is difficult, whereas slavery is easy.
To steal someone else's joke, would a cloned Neanderthal be eligible for the NFL draft?
Cool... will it then be legal to pay twenty bucks, run in, and whack some prehistoric ho over the head with a club and drag her off? And I was thinking we'd have to wait for virtual reality to get better!
So now I suppose there will be headlines on /. that read "Neanderthal Genome has been Sequenced" and "Neanderthal cloned" and "Neanderthal released into wild". Why didn't Slashdot wait until after the release before reporting on this?
Any creationists want to step up to the plate and tell us what these results will show?
President Bush expressed considerable interest in the Neanderthal Genome sequencing project. The president expressed hope the project would be completed quickly enough that a living person whose DNA most closely matched that of a Neanderthal could be identified and nominated to the Supreme Court.
hmm... i wonder if rohypnol works on neanderthals?
"I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismometer." -Ken Kesey
Back in their day, all they had were AMP and ADP; ATP hadn't been invented yet. In those times, glycolysis took two glucose for every one ADP produced, and they were proud of it! Back then, everything ate up that precious ADP - even the Calvin cycle. Oh, sure, it violated their ability to continue on as lifeforms indefinitely, but it was all they had to work with.
Back then, oxygen didn't end up making it into the bloodstream and then to the cells and mitochondria through diffusion from concentration differentials across membranes; they had to put it in manually. It got tiring after a while, all of the precision injection work, but it gave them exercise - a good muscle builder, it was. And, boy, did they need that muscle tone to hunt, what with only being able to synthesize two of their amino acids on their own.
We've come a long way, my friend. A long way.
"99 dead duelists of Dios on the wall. 99 dead duelists of Dios! Take one's ring, pass it around..."
I predict if Neanderthals are cloned:
A) Geico will offer them car insurance, but they won't buy because of their Caveman commercials.
B) Neanderthals will be pissed to find out were replaced by people on the B Ark.
C) Sales of backrazors will double.
D) Grunthag and Duna will top Neanderthal baby names lists just above Rena, Gort, Bob, and Winona.
"You'll get nothing, and you'll like it!"
Because the Monolith landed on our side of the river.
As a member of a minority living near the arctic circle, I find your implication that "hot" equates "good" and that, therefore, it's opposite, "cold", equates "bad", extremely insulting, and demand that you immediately cease and desist from any further usage of such hatefull terms in public discourse. Furthermore, I demand a compensation of $100,000,000,000 (one hundred billion US dollars) for the mental anguish your thermal prejudices have caused me.
Failure to comply will result in retaliatory measures to be carried out by trained polar bears.
Forget magic. Any technology distinguishable from divine power is insufficiently advanced.
And to prove that I have the sickest mind around, I bet the females were pretty easy to milk.
I might have agreed with this if you'd suggested milking males. I notice cheese wasn't mentioned either.
"I've got more toys than Teruhisa Kitahara."
Having the ability of saying "Neener Neener Neener I told you so!" to adherent biblical creationists? That alone has to be worth what, a few billion or so?
Maybe (s)he could romp around and create another cinema masterpeice with Pauly Shore--or become a Senator?!
Constitutional rights may be respected, repealed, or modified; but they must never be ignored.
As a member of the People for the Ethical Treament of Animals, i find it deplorable and sickening that you would use these great and noble animals to fight your battles for you. I demand that you compensate our organization $100,000,000,000 US; none of which will actually got to the bears themselves, but help further our causes, such as running almost naked through Spain with bull horns taped to our heads.
I believe sex is highly over rated... unless it involves me
AS a member of SCO, I hereby inform you that we own the patent on "running around naked with horns on our heads". Since you are clearly infringing on our patent we demand $100,000,000,000 US for compensation.
Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
I can only imagine what your opening line would have been.
This space available.
I mean, just look around and see how "white" Americans, African Americans, and Native Americans are all getting taller than the prior generations. I'm of that first category (and partly of the last) and I'm 2 inches taller than my father, who in turn is 2 inches taller than his father
Well there you go, proof of young earth creationism! 6,000 years ago Adam and Eve were 2 inches tall.
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- - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
In an experiment gone horribly wrong, Scientists bring back animals, Neanderthals and Homo Sapiens and set them in the iron age...
It's going to be called, Ironic Park.
Heh. I've sometimes wondered what sort of reactions I'd get from a few possible comments.
"So tell me about your Neanderthal ancestors."
"Has anyone ever said how Neanderthal you look?"
I'd assume that most people who have the Neandert[h]al physical features are not aware of the fact. I think that if I had them, I'd take a "Hey, how 'bout dat?" attitude. I don't actually have any of the features, and I was actually a bit disappointed to learn this. I think it'd be fun to tell people that I'm part Neanderthal. But I'd guess that some people might react differently.
Oh, well; I can always use another of my explantions: When people ask me what I "do", I like to tell them that I'm an anthropologist. I'm stationed on Earth to study humans. Very interesting newly-discovered species, y'know. Gotta document them thoroughly while they're still in their primitive, single-planet state, and before they exterminate themselves.
It's especially fun, when they ask me if I'm not violating some secrecy rule, to tell them that there isn't any such rule. After all, you can tell humans the absolute truth, and they don't believe you. The very few who do are dismissed by the rest as nut cases. You don't believe me, do you? So why should we bother with secrecy?
Those who do study history are doomed to stand helplessly by while everyone else repeats it.