Slashdot Mirror
Russia's Biggest Spammer Brutally Murdered
Karellen !-P writes "Vardan Kushnir, a notorious russian spammer who headed the English learning centers, the Center for American English, the New York English Centre and the Centre for Spoken English, was found dead in his Moscow apartment on Sunday, Interfax reported Monday. He died after suffering repeated blows to the head."
hmmm anti spam packages for sneaker net. Maybe slapping the postman each time he posts a spam letter. He'd soon learn to sort out the spam first..
Vladimir Putin unsubscribes the way we all want to.
Justice is the sheep getting arrested while an impartial judge declares the vote void.
Now that his head has been bashed into 50% its original size, do those penis enlargments work on the "big head?"
Click here or a puppy gets stomped!
have his penis size mocked one too many times before he snaps.
if he was beaten with a can of spam?
visit www.cheapviagra.net for the loaweig'aoiwgo'awhigkljabwekrjba;sogh;abhsdbgasdgf kajbkjssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss...
I thought the spam I got this morning was a little off...
From a hidden microphone at the scene of the murder:
"You are receiving *WHAM* this blow to the head *WHAM* because you are part of a *WHAM* specially-selected list of *WHAM* people who agreed to receive *WHAM* blows to the head *WHAM*.
To stop *WHAM* receiving these *WHAM* blows to the head, please *WHAM* email us at no-more-please@optout.blowtothehead. com and *WHAM* we will remove you from our list of *WHAM* blow-to-the-head-club members *WHAM* (heh, we said "club"!) *WHAM* within 24 to 48 hours."
It should be!
Sic semper spammeris!
^_^
multifariam.net -- yet another nerd blog
best... spam-blocker... EVER!
-He's using that big open relay in the sky now . . .
.
-In New Jersey, killing a spamlord is only a class B misedemeanor . .
-Whatta you call a spammer with a crushed skull lying in a pool of his own blood?
A good start!
Seriously though that's pretty f*cked up. Spammer or not, no one deserves that.
The fact that the murder weapon appear to have been a copy of O'Reilly's "Postfix: The Definitive Guide" is condidered a relevant clue at this point.
He died after suffering repeated blows to the head
Whoever did it must have some strong lungs.
That SpamAssassin really takes its job seriously, yo.
You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!
- In Soviet Russia... The spam filter kills YOU!
- Imagine a beowulf cluster of these murders!
- The weapon was most likely a clue bat.
Any others equally bad?... that we're all available to support each other's alibis.
If I find your post sufficiently objectionable, should I be permitted to kill you too?
Seriously, I expected to see a bit more tempered response from a reasonably sensible user community.
"Ask not what your country can do for you." --John F. Kennedy
DaFuror> ok
DaFuror> that about sucked
phac> what now daf?
DaFuror> I went out to my car to get my U1 about an hour ago
g3nocide> U1 ?
DaFuror> Sun Ultra 1 server
DaFuror> well, anyway
DaFuror> these three drunk kid come outta nowhere and one of them tried to jump me
g3nocide> LOL
DaFuror> I cracked his skull open with the U1
DaFuror> just got done dealing with the fine upper arlington police dept
g3nocide> lol you hit him with a sun ultra one server
DaFuror> I can
g3nocide> LOL
DaFuror> t
g3nocide> omfg
DaFuror> wait to see the police report
g3nocide> you know you are a geek when, you protect yourself with server hardware
I don't get it.
In Soviet Russia, SPAM unsubscribes YOU!
Why must we be animals?
Ummm... because we are?
The AACS key is NOT 0xF606EEFD628B1CA427BEA93A9CA9773F
I'm sorry...it's all my fault. I sneaked in and stenciled "Click here to unsubscribe" on his forehead.
;-)
I guess people just did as instructed...albeit with a 30lb 'mouse'
Seriously, I expected to see a bit more tempered response from a reasonably sensible user community.
Damn, you almost made me cry, I was laughing so hard!
"Murphy was an optimist" - O'Toole's commentary on Murphy's Law
I was thinking mafia too, but more along the lines that some godfather who was having problems with his winkie recieved a viagra ad...
It's true I tell you, feller at work's next door neighbour read it in the paper.
Your post advocates a
( ) technical ( ) legislative ( ) market-based (x) vigilante
approach to fighting spam. Your idea will not work. Here is why it won't work. (One or more of the following may apply to your particular idea, and it may have other flaws which used to vary from state to state before a bad federal law was passed.)
( ) Spammers can easily use it to harvest email addresses
( ) Mailing lists and other legitimate email uses would be affected
( ) No one will be able to find the guy or collect the money
( ) It is defenseless against brute force attacks
( ) It will stop spam for two weeks and then we'll be stuck with it
( ) Users of email will not put up with it
( ) Microsoft will not put up with it
(x) The police will not put up with it
( ) Requires too much cooperation from spammers
( ) Requires immediate total cooperation from everybody at once
( ) Many email users cannot afford to lose business or alienate potential employers
( ) Spammers don't care about invalid addresses in their lists
( ) Anyone could anonymously destroy anyone else's career or business
Specifically, your plan fails to account for
(x) Laws expressly prohibiting it
( ) Lack of centrally controlling authority for email
( ) Open relays in foreign countries
( ) Ease of searching tiny alphanumeric address space of all email addresses
( ) Asshats
( ) Jurisdictional problems
( ) Unpopularity of weird new taxes
( ) Public reluctance to accept weird new forms of money
( ) Huge existing software investment in SMTP
( ) Susceptibility of protocols other than SMTP to attack
( ) Willingness of users to install OS patches received by email
( ) Armies of worm riddled broadband-connected Windows boxes
( ) Eternal arms race involved in all filtering approaches
( ) Extreme profitability of spam
( ) Joe jobs and/or identity theft
( ) Technically illiterate politicians
( ) Extreme stupidity on the part of people who do business with spammers
( ) Dishonesty on the part of spammers themselves
( ) Bandwidth costs that are unaffected by client filtering
( ) Outlook
and the following philosophical objections may also apply:
( ) Ideas similar to yours are easy to come up with, yet none have ever been shown practical
( ) Any scheme based on opt-out is unacceptable
( ) SMTP headers should not be the subject of legislation
( ) Blacklists suck
( ) Whitelists suck
( ) We should be able to talk about Viagra without being censored
( ) Countermeasures should not involve wire fraud or credit card fraud
( ) Countermeasures should not involve sabotage of public networks
( ) Countermeasures must work if phased in gradually
( ) Sending email should be free
( ) Why should we have to trust you and your servers?
( ) Incompatiblity with open source or open source licenses
( ) Feel-good measures do nothing to solve the problem
( ) Temporary/one-time email addresses are cumbersome
( ) I don't want the government reading my email
(x) Killing them that way is not slow and painful enough
Furthermore, this is what I think about you:
( ) Sorry dude, but I don't think it would work.
( ) This is a stupid idea, and you're a stupid person for suggesting it.
( ) Nice try, assh0le! I'm going to find out where you live and burn your house down!
(x) Wow, this might work!
Well, your problem is in assuming that this is a 'reasonably sensible user community.' IMO that's not really the case here.
-Space for rent
You forgot:
4. Summarizing the usual comments, in the futile hope of making the conversation more intelligent.
Hail Eris, full of mischief...
E pluribus sanguinem
This just in! Police have release a photo of the murder weapon!
"Yeah, well, Dracula called and he's coming over tonight for you and I said okay."
Your action advocates a
( ) technical ( ) legislative ( ) market-based (x) vigilante
approach to fighting spam. Your idea will not work. Here is why it won't work. (One or more of the following may apply to your particular idea, and it may have other flaws which used to vary from state to state before a bad federal law was passed.)
( ) Spammers can easily use it to harvest email addresses
( ) Mailing lists and other legitimate email uses would be affected
(x) No one will be able to find the guy or collect the money
( ) It is defenseless against brute force attacks
(x) It will stop spam for two weeks and then we'll be stuck with it
( ) Users of email will not put up with it
( ) Microsoft will not put up with it
(x) The police will not put up with it
(x) Requires too much cooperation from spammers
( ) Requires immediate total cooperation from everybody at once
( ) Many email users cannot afford to lose business or alienate potential employers
( ) Spammers don't care about invalid addresses in their lists
(x) Anyone could anonymously destroy anyone else's career or business
Specifically, your plan fails to account for
(x) Laws expressly prohibiting it
( ) Lack of centrally controlling authority for email
(x) Open relays in foreign countries
( ) Ease of searching tiny alphanumeric address space of all email addresses
(x) Asshats
(x) Jurisdictional problems
( ) Unpopularity of weird new taxes
( ) Public reluctance to accept weird new forms of money
( ) Huge existing software investment in SMTP
( ) Susceptibility of protocols other than SMTP to attack
( ) Willingness of users to install OS patches received by email
( ) Armies of worm riddled broadband-connected Windows boxes
( ) Eternal arms race involved in all filtering approaches
( ) Extreme profitability of spam
(x) Joe jobs and/or identity theft
(x) Technically illiterate politicians
( ) Extreme stupidity on the part of people who do business with spammers
( ) Dishonesty on the part of spammers themselves
( ) Bandwidth costs that are unaffected by client filtering
( ) Outlook
and the following philosophical objections may also apply:
(x) Ideas similar to yours are easy to come up with, yet none have ever been shown practical
( ) Any scheme based on opt-out is unacceptable
( ) SMTP headers should not be the subject of legislation
( ) Blacklists suck
( ) Whitelists suck
( ) We should be able to talk about Viagra without being censored
( ) Countermeasures should not involve wire fraud or credit card fraud
( ) Countermeasures should not involve sabotage of public networks
( ) Countermeasures must work if phased in gradually
( ) Sending email should be free
( ) Why should we have to trust you and your servers?
( ) Incompatiblity with open source or open source licenses
(x) Feel-good measures do nothing to solve the problem
( ) Temporary/one-time email addresses are cumbersome
( ) I don't want the government reading my email
(x) Killing them that way is not slow and painful enough
Furthermore, this is what I think about you:
( ) Sorry dude, but I don't think it would work.
( ) This is a stupid idea, and you're a stupid person for suggesting it.
(x) Nice try, assh0le! I'm going to find out where you live and burn your house down!
The AACS key is NOT 0xF606EEFD628B1CA427BEA93A9CA9773F
...finally come back to haunt you.
In Soviet Russia, monkey punches you?
The spammer was beaten to death with an artifically enlarged and artifically erect body part.
Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it. --Mark Twain
In Soviet Russia, spam assasinates YOU.
The mother-fucking brain-dead idiots with huuuuuge dicks!
You're next!
See I'm surprised they bludgeoned him in the head... I would have figured it would have taken a stake to the heart...
You must be new here
oh... really? well i guess it couldn't hurt to just try it out then? (dashes off to check email)
we are such easily controlled animals.
The first rule of USENET is you do not talk about USENET.
Russians take shit too far. Roulette is fun and all, but no, those russians had to take it one step further. How do you come up with a game like that anyways? Whatever they do, they do it with intensity. Who was in space first? I rest my case. -Mitch Hedberg
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Mitch_Hedberg
Rest in peace Mitch.
"All great things are simple & expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope." --Churchill
This gives a whole new meaning to SpamAssassin.
Why must we be animals?
I offer the following alternatives, please choose any category you feel fits better:
- Plant
- Fungi
- Protist
- Bacteria
- Archaea
What?
I daresay... Moooo! Jolly Good, wot!? Eh, Tally ho! Back to chewing my cud, pip pip and all of that, old bean. Smashing. *chewing*
Constitutional rights may be respected, repealed, or modified; but they must never be ignored.
On the one hand, this kind of thing shouldn't happen in a civilized society.
On the other hand, I'm having a hard time resisting the urge to make a crack about how the repeated blows to the head came from an enlarged penis.
I am so smart!
I am so smart!
S-M-R-T!
I mean S-M-A-R-T!
Please, don't spoil everything. As a fellow russian, I find this +5 informative posts about white bear mobs walking around here drinking vodka, making botnets from Comcast customers and firing AKA-47's at one another highly amusing.
Anyway, how about making Jul 25 an international anti-spam day? It just writes itself in the calendar, really it does...
I'm not saying they shoulda killed the bastard...
... but I understand.
My feelings... he was working for the mob... and one of their addresses somehow got on his list. 1000 emails later, the originator was beaten to death by 1000 blows to the head with one of the advertised dildos in his spam mails.
/me goes to wall. Remebers last drywall repair bill. Resists.
I can see how in a moment of weakness it could happen.Lacking <sarcasm> tags,
OK, one down but countless many left.
Who's next for the clue bat?
Ed Almos
Budapest, Hungary
The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws. - Tacitus, 56-120 A.D.
I expected to see a bit more tempered response from a reasonably sensible user community.
You're new here, aren't you?
Tech, life, family, faith: Give me a visit
I bet he's made a lot of money with all that spam. And as any Russian will tell you, don't fuck with the Mob. If only there were some way for his relatives to inherit the money without attracting attention...
Hey, I have an idea!
DEAR SIR,
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF. I AM MR. VLADIMIR NATREVSKY, COUNCIL TO ONE MR. VARDAN
KUSHNIR. I HAVE IN MY POSESSION FOURTY-TWO MILLION US DOLLARS ($42,000,000.00) IN VARIOUS
BANK ACCOUNTS, FROM MR. KUSHNIR'S ASSORTED BUSINESSES. Due to the violent nature of Mr. Kushiner's
death, his reletives do not wish to attract attention to themselves by claiming the money. they
have enlisted my aid in finding someone outside of russia to help them. the money will be deposited into
a bank account of your choosing in the unites states. once this has been accomplished, and with great
sadness, Mr. Kushiner's family will flee the russia that they love to start a new life. the money,
less your commission, will them be transferred to them in their new homeland.
FOR YOUR HELP, YOU WILL RECEIVE 30% OF THEIR FORTUNE ($12,600,000), AND 10% ($4,200,000) WILL BE SET ASIDE FOR
EXPENSES.
YOURS FAITHFULLY,
Mr. VLADIMIR NATREVSKY
I would have been given a fine and a tap on the back. I'm Canadian.
It's just that the letter H sounds like N. :-)
It's terrible that something like that would happen. It isn't legal
It should be!
Sic semper spammeris!
It is
The question is, who gets the $5000? Hehehe
Warning, comments may not have been passed by the sanity department of my brain.
It was Bill Gates. He couldn't figure out what CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet did, so he "bought them out" to avoid competing with them.
Are you joking?
No
Has human life lost all sanctity...
No
that you think it is justifiable to end a man's life because he sends you unwanted email?...
In the quantities that he sent, yes
Is spam that much of an annoyance to you that you are filled with satisfaction when a man is bludgeoned to death, only because that man was a spammer?...
Yes
Mob thugs are no better at crime than regular thugs, they just have infrastructure in place to make it easier.
Kind of like big software companies and bad software.
XML is a known as a key material required to create SMD: Software of Mass Destruction
I also know Russians...and I agree with a lot of your comment except this
you had better know Russian if you go there, tavaresh, because random passers by will beat you if you don't
No they will not (at least in Moscow). If you do not speak Russian, most people will think you are either a rich tourist or someone in politics. In either case you may be too important to get into a fight with. However, they will steal your wallet.
badness 10000
CUR ALLOC 20195.....5804M
Talk about arrested development... Shouldn't he be a bit bigger by now?
Or should I say:
OOLKAY ITAY?
"Ayn Rand is a bloody socialist compared to me." - Robert A. Heinlein
Just being unbearably pendantic.
Just being unbearably what now?
I want to drag this out as long as possible. Bring me my protractor.
You forgot a few:
- Republican
- Lawyer
- SCO executive
So, using cyrillic characters, how would the following dialog go?
King Arthur: [about the inscription on the rock] What does it say, Brother Maynard?
Brother Maynard: It reads, "Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Aramathia. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the holy grail in the Castle of Aaauuuggghhh..."
King Arthur: What?
Brother Maynard: "The Castle of Aaaauuuggghhhh"
Sir Bedevere: What is that?
Brother Maynard: He must have died while carving it.
King Arthur: Oh come on!
Brother Maynard: Well, that's what it says.
King Arthur: Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't have bothered to carve 'Aaaauuuggghhhh'. He'd just say it.
Sir Galahad: Maybe he was dictating it.
King Arthur: Oh shut up!
Sir Robin: Well does it say anything else?
Brother Maynard: No, just "Aaaaauuuugggghhh".
[knights making groaning sounds]
Sir Bedevere: Do you think he could have mean, 'Camaaaauuuuggghhhh'?
Sir Galahad: Where's that?
Sir Bedevere: France, I think.
Sir Lancelot: Isn't there a Saint "Aaaaavvvveeeesss" in Cornwall?
King Arthur: No that's Saint "Ives".
Sir Lancelot: Oh, yes. "Iiiiiivvvveeessss"!
[All knights saying, "Iiiiiivvvveeessss"]
Sir Bedevere: Whooooouuuuaaa!
Sir Lancelot: No no no, it's "Aaaaauuuugggghhhh" from the back of the throat.
Sir Bedevere: No I mean, "Whoooouuuuaaa!" as in surprise and alarm.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, you mean like, "AAAHH!"
Sir Bedevere: Yes, that's it. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood. -- H. L. Mencken
Much as I hate to feed trolls, I just can't resist...
;-) For a translation, say it to a Russian. I suggest a large, burly one, they do tend to be the best translators...
Yeah, those damn Irish potato eating drunkards!
Ireland's economy since the forced eviction of the british has been growing at a phenomenal rate, and is now seen as the light of Europe. Google for "celtic tiger". Amazing how a brutal, rapacious occupying force can drive you to drink, eh?
They don't call it a paddy wagon for nothin!
They called it a paddy wagon because it was mostly Irish that were the police.
I doubt its as corrupt, violent, and ceaselessly oppressive as you sugest
Oh, its not wall to wall beady eyes and white knuckles, you can in fact walk down the street, as long as you are white.
I doubt its as corrupt, violent, and ceaselessly oppressive as you sugest
I "sugest" you try living there, learning the language, and meeting the people, living as a Russian, and if you make it back to the civilised world more or less in one piece, then we can talk. And for the record, no Russian has ever raised his hand against me, although I would be lying to say that I was never threatened. I honestly like Russians, and the feeling so far has been mutual.
just like we don't know Russia, but you do
Autsausi menya, phonetically. Never said I could write it well
What he can't kill, he has sex on. Trent.
We need more murder details to determine motive...
If:
strangled with underwear or nylons - wife/sex related
beat to death with high heel shoe - wife/sex related
strangled with mouse cable - spam related
beat to death with keyboard - spam related
beat to death with baseball bat - mafia related
shot 8 times in the head - terrorist related (007)
body disappears - Gulag related
BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Here's to hoping you can land a job in Hell's tech support department once you get there. I'll be the guy in the cubicle next to you.
"Old man yells at systemd"
Does it really matter what the restaurant is? All the signs look like 'KAOPECTATE', anyway...
(Seriously, though, for many years restaurants weren't allowed to put up anything other than 'PECTOPAH' for signage.)
And who among us is not a nerd? Let him be cast out.
Okay - I just NEED to do this one: "In Soviet Russia, Pizza guts YOU!".
In soviet Russia, Raymond loves Everybody, including, but not limited to, YOU!
be canned?
I guess he'd have been better off if they read the instructions:
"We want his spam CANED"
Well, was he brutally murdered, or was his spam "tenderized"?
Apparently, they set out to CAN his spam... and went a little ballistic on the Batman "BAMMM" "POWWW" "SPAMMM"
Yea, but what if the Yakuza did something really, really great and wonderful and beautiful (like whacking the world's biggest spammer)?
Maybe the Russian Mob is working on developing a positive image, and this was the first step.
Glonoinha the MebiByte Slayer
And what country allows its military-industrial complex to buy out the president elections and generally pwn the public as it pleases?
I'll take 'What is The United States?' for $400, Alex.
Glonoinha the MebiByte Slayer
Is there like a PayPal account we can donate money to in support of the killers?
There's a spam I might click on... "Donate here to see other spammers killed". If we could just have all the others wiped out and only have to deal with the one 'toughest' spammer, mabye the Internet landscape would be nicer.
Did I say all that out loud? Oops...
Why are you letting these clowns ruin our country?
chances are at least a few of them we be complete raving psychos.
What would Freud say?
Once upon a time I had connections in the Russian mafia.
In other news, the bullshit rating of Slashdot was raised to red, after a poster declared that he used to have connections in the Russian mafia.
My typcial response to a telemarket call...
Remember your mother telling you that you need to pay attention in school or you wouldn't amount to anything? Do you believe her now? Click...
Wow, thank you! I wonder if this is why?
Timo's Audio Software http://www.esseraudio.com