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Windows 95 Turns 10

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the start-me-up dept.

ColdGrits writes "It's hard to believe it, but 10 short years ago today saw the launch of Windows '95. Here is an archive of the Washington Post's story on the day. As part of the launch, Microsoft paid $12,000,000 for the rights to use the Rolling Stones' song "Start Me Up" (containing the prophetic line 'You make a grown man cry'). "

25 of 790 comments (clear)

  1. Ahh, nostalgia... by TripMaster+Monkey · · Score: 5, Funny

    From TFA:
    Analysts think this diligence will pay off. "The extraordinarily extensive testing they did makes a show-stopping bug a pretty unlikely occurrence," said Chuck Stegman, a vice president at Dataquest Inc., a high-tech market research firm in California. "Someone would have stumbled on it already."
    This passage is especially amusing, since I gained most of my knowledge of Windows 95 through needing to reinstall it repeatedly on various systems.

    Another gem from TFA:
    But those customers expecting Windows 95 to be a great technological leap forward may be disappointed. International Business Machines Corp. and Apple Computer Inc. already have operating systems on the market that sport the features - greater memory management, the ability to perform several tasks at once and enhanced user-friendliness - now being hailed in Windows 95.

    Big Blue has made some effort to counter Microsoft's media onslaught with ads that feature the names of companies that have relied on its OS/2 system for years. Yesterday, at corporate headquarters in Armonk, N.Y., IBM officials reiterated the virtues of its own time-tested product, and tried to ignore the festivities.

    "Microsoft is delivering the same features we delivered seven years ago," said company spokesman Tim Breuer. "We're moving on business as usual here."
    Yes...I vaguely recall IBM's OS/2...but Apple? No....I'm drawing a blank. ^_^
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    ~ |rip/\/\aster /\/\onkey

    1. Re:Ahh, nostalgia... by DannyO152 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Apple... IIRC a beleaguered Cupertino company. Didn't NeXT buy them out?

    2. Re:Ahh, nostalgia... by wankledot · · Score: 4, Funny
      This was modded as funny, but is actually more true than you know.

      When I was at Apple, the phrase I heard often was "We didn't buy NeXT, we paid them to take over."

      --
      My sig is blank, I typed this by hand.
  2. Blue Screen of Death by bigwavejas · · Score: 4, Funny
    'You make a grown man cry'

    How true... If those poor saps had only know what lie ahead.

    --
    "Simplify, simplify, simplify!" Thoreau
  3. Another propethic line by TrentL · · Score: 5, Funny

    "You make a grown man cry."

    Well, if it could make a "dead man come", that would be really special.

    1. Re:Another propethic line by Y-Crate · · Score: 4, Funny

      "Well, if it could make a "dead man come", that would be really special."

      That's reserved for Windows Vista: Keith Richards Edition.

  4. Obligatory by BubbleSparkxx · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...and in further news, windows 2000 is now 5 years old.

    1. Re:Obligatory by Phleg · · Score: 5, Funny

      You can type pretty well for a five year old. Needs work on the grammar though.

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      No comment.
  5. the nightmares are coming back... by pstreck · · Score: 4, Funny

    Can't believe it's been 10 years since I attempted to do a seamless upgrade on my p90... Ah yes. I must truly thank M$ for releasing it though, because without w95 I would have never sought out linux.

    --

    Later,
    Phil
  6. Tonight on Action News! by mapmaker · · Score: 5, Funny

    Our top story: 1995 was ten years ago! Also, 2+2=4. Details at 11.

    1. Re:Tonight on Action News! by RobertB-DC · · Score: 4, Funny

      Our top story: 1995 was ten years ago! Also, 2+2=4. Details at 11.

      Of course, I read this as "Details at 0x03".

      --
      Stressed? Me? Of course not. Stress is what a rubber band feels before it breaks, silly.
    2. Re:Tonight on Action News! by thefirelane · · Score: 4, Funny

      Our top story: 1995 was ten years ago! Also, 2+2=4. Details at 11.

      You must be fun at birthday parties.

  7. Job ads by macdaddy357 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Back when that dinosaur OS was the current thing, I used to see want ads in the information systems section of newspapers demanding ten years of experience in Windows 95. Back then, they had not dont their math, but now, there are a few people who can actually answer that ad!

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    How ya like dat?
    1. Re:Job ads by Himring · · Score: 4, Funny

      I have a good IT job, but earlier this year applied for another at a different company (looking for more $/benefits). I spoke only to the HR people (typical) who, among other things, wanted someone with at least 5 years experience with Windows2003 server and 10 years with Exchange 2000. My explanations regarding their criteria left them silent and unimpressed. They also didn't find my migration of 5000 users at a $3 billion corporation from Lotus Notes to Exchange (utilizing Sendmail for routing) a worthy enough credential to make up for only having some 2 years experience with E2K....

      --
      "All great things are simple & expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope." --Churchill
  8. ...the same features we delivered seven years ago by MarkEst1973 · · Score: 4, Funny
    Fast forward 10 years and what has changed?

    The IE dev teams blogs (nay, boasts!) about tabbed browsing in IE7 -- saying nothing of the fact that tabs are years old.

    MS brags and boasts about Monad, which is still vaporware, but it sure will be the best shell ever -- saying nothing of the fact that this has been available forever in *nix.

    I'm sure we can come up with more. In the end, MS is very good at marketing. People just love their koolaid.

  9. Speaking of the Stones... by Cletus+the+yokel · · Score: 5, Funny

    Rumour has it they've been tapped again for the Windows Vista launch. The new theme song?

    "Under My Thumb".

    *ba-dump-bump-ting!*

    --
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  10. O the horror by tsa · · Score: 5, Funny

    I remember there were stories about people buying Win 95 who didn't even have a computer. Unbelievable. How can people not have a computer?

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    -- Cheers!

  11. More to come... by DrIdiot · · Score: 5, Funny

    2008: 10 year anniversary of Windows 98
    2010: 10 year anniversary of Windows Me
    2011: 10 year anniversary of Windows XP
    1015: 20 year anniversary of Windows 95
    2020: 20 year anniversary of Windows Me
    ....

  12. Re:launch song for longhorn by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Didn't the lead singer for Coldplay die once he realized he was just an even wussier version of Radiohead's Thom Yorke?

    Here's every Coldplay song, ever:

    I HOPE SOME GIRL WILL LOVE ME, BECAUSE I'M A HUGE PANSY

  13. Start me Up by vargasmas · · Score: 4, Funny

    If you start me up
    If you start me up I'll never stop
    If you start me up
    If you start me up I'll never stop
    I've been running hot
    You got me ticking gonna blow my top
    If you start me up
    If you start me up I'll never stop

    You make a grown man cry
    Spread out the oil, the gasoline
    I walk smooth, ride in a mean, mean machine
    Start it up

    If you start it up
    Kick on the starter give it all you got, you got,
    you got I can't compete with the riders in the other heats If you rough it up
    If you like it you can slide it up, slide it up

    Don't make a grown man cry
    My eyes dilate, my lips go green
    My hands are greasy
    She's a mean, mean machine
    Start it up

    If start me up
    Give it all you got
    You got to never, never, never stop
    Never, never
    Slide it up

    You make a grown man cry
    Ride like the wind at double speed
    I'll take you places that you've never, never seen
    Start it up
    Love the day when we will never stop, never stop
    Never stop, never stop
    Tough me up
    Never stop, never stop, never stop

    You, you, you make a grown man cry
    You, you make a dead man come
    You, you make a dead man come


    Can anyone figure out what the hell Microsoft Marketing was thinking when they selected this song?

  14. Precautions... by coflow · · Score: 5, Funny

    "But Microsoft is unlikely to suffer a similar fate because it took precautions, such as delaying its launch date and sending out a few hundred thousand copies to testers across the country."

    These are called precautions? I'm going to tell my client that next time we're delayed on a release. And as far as testing, was that something that was new in software at the time?

  15. Re:...the same features we delivered seven years a by Profane+MuthaFucka · · Score: 5, Funny

    MS is still trying to match the functionality of having a system that is composed of small scriptable programs that interoperate using human readable text interfaces, connected by pipes and redirected IO.

    Their solution is to have the shell make a huge tree of objects that call each other. The objects aren't text, you can't load them in notepad, and you can't pipe them like you can with UNIX. Instead you've got a pile of goddamn API's. Plus, these fucking things are objects, so you can call them and they execute code. The good guys will use them to dig out information that they want. The bad guys will examine them for buffer overflows.

    What do Microsoft developers drive? Easy - a Pontiac Aztek. They love ugly cars just as much as they love ugly operating systems. "But you can go camping in it!" is their reply when you criticise their ride. I agree. All the bugs make you feel like you're stuck in the fucking woods without any toilet paper.

    --
    Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
  16. Windows 95 lyrics by Conspiracy_Of_Doves · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well I bought it up
    Brought Windows home and tried to boot it up

    But when I load it up
    It says my memory is not enough ...

    I've been running out
    I need Some Extra RAM to fix me up ...

    I have to cough it up
    Open my wallet up, it never stops, never stops, never stops, never stops

    Its Windows 95
    It's sucking up my drive
    It makes a Pentium fly

    But my PC is obsolete
    I'll have to buy myself a brand new machine .... (ring it up)

    Just stick me up
    You suck me in then you got me hooked .... you got me, you got me

    There's so much stuff to buy
    I need a new hard drive

    I'ts gonna suck me dry
    My 386, Don't have the speed
    It takes an hour just to bring up the screen ...

    Oh no ... I 'm making software buys.
    Woow ... It's making Bill Gates come...
    Yo Yo ... your making a rich man come....

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    Technoli
  17. Mac button by booch · · Score: 4, Funny
    I was working at CompUSA when Windows 95 came out. One of the Mac guys gave me a button, that I still have. I still find it to be accurate.

    Windows 95 = MacIntosh 88


    --
    Software sucks. Open Source sucks less.
  18. Re:But they didn't deliver; they provided a stop-g by Blakey+Rat · · Score: 5, Funny

    WOW SUCH A NEW AND INVENTIVE ORIGINAL JOKE! I've never heard that one before! Certainly not about 30,000 times a goddamned year between 1995 and 2005. And yet Slashdot moderators, obviously on crack, moderate it up regardless... maybe Slashdot does something to people to just suck their sense of humor out and replace it with hatred of RFID tags.

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