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9 Weeks to Pump Out New Orleans?

Cr0w T. Trollbot asks: "It looks like New Orleans is going through something very close to the worst case scenario right now. This somewhat prescient study, written well before the hurricane, describes some of the challenges (engineering and otherwise) facing New Orleans. 'In this hypothetical storm scenario, it is estimated that it would take nine weeks to pump the water out of the city, and only then could assessments begin to determine what buildings were habitable or salvageable. Sewer, water, and the extensive forced drainage pumping systems would be damaged. National authorities would be scrambling to build tent cities to house the hundreds of thousands of refugees unable to return to their homes and without other relocation options.' The hypothetical is looking awful close to reality right now. What can be done about draining and rebuilding New Orleans in light of the massive flooding, and what can be done to prevent and/or lessen such disasters in the future?"

31 of 2,153 comments (clear)

  1. Misread... by Psychor · · Score: 4, Funny

    Did anyone else misread that headline and think the networks had started a "Pimp my City" show?

  2. Sinking by AutopsyReport · · Score: 3, Funny

    My memory is muddy, what's this river that I'm in, New Orleans is sinking man and I don't wanna swim!

    --

    For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

  3. cities on floodplains? by myowntrueself · · Score: 5, Funny

    "what can be done to prevent and/or lessen such disasters in the future?"

    Well what I do in Civ3 is to disallow building cities on floodplains and swamps. Helps heaps.

    --
    In the free world the media isn't government run; the government is media run.
  4. one word: by Tumbleweed · · Score: 5, Funny

    SPONGES.

    Really, just a massive airdrop of sponges over the city, et voila, your problem, she is solved!

  5. I LIVE in New Orleans by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I Live in New Orleans and I was just planning on staying at Taco's house. This membership is good for something, right?

    1. Re:I LIVE in New Orleans by Geoffreyerffoeg · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hehe.

      What's even funnier is the roadsign leading to the airport:

      "NO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - THIS EXIT"

      No kidding.

  6. Re:What can be done about it? by grub · · Score: 5, Funny


    We all know why this is happening to us.

    Yep, because terrorists hate our freedom.

    --
    Trolling is a art,
  7. Re:Water City by apoc.famine · · Score: 5, Funny

    If they don't want to rebuild *above* sea level, they can just rename it Atlantis and sell tours.

    --
    Velociraptor = Distiraptor / Timeraptor
  8. Re:Water City by DiveX · · Score: 5, Funny

    Why not rebuild over the water? Well, it has been tried before.

    "When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get."

    King of Swamp Castle

    --
    Cave, wreck, and deep diver.
  9. Send your AOL CD's to New Orleans... by Dr.+Zowie · · Score: 3, Funny

    ... together with back-issues of National Geographic. That should avoid the problem in the future by raising the grade level by 5-7 meters.

  10. Re:Water City by Bi()hazard · · Score: 4, Funny

    The only way to deal with this problem on a long term basis, other than giving up the city, is to create a system that can't be knocked out by hurricanes. Barriers and pumps can always fall because the forces of nature are against them. We, the people of New Orleans, need to harness nature to protect ourselves. Work with it. Make it our bitch, if you will.

    I propose digging a vast reservoir somewhere away from the city, in one of those barren rural areas nobody cares about. This is the US, we have plenty of those. Dig the largest reservoir the world has ever seen, larger than the second largest by an order of magnitude, thereby enlarging our national "infrastructure" by a similar degree. Think of all the new jobs! Connect this reservoir to n'orleans via underground aqueducts. Flood water will drain through the aqueducts and out of the city. This underground system, powered by the laws of physics, would be immune to hurricane and flood damage as long as the reservoir functions.

    Now, the obvious problem is reservoir capacity. Luckily, the reservoir is out in the middle of nowhere, allowing us to build huge water holding tanks, pumps, and so forth to empty it out. This system will be outside the hurricane/flood zones, and since it isn't within a populated area it can be much more robust than a city pump system. Furthermore, an array of voodoo priests and druids from n'orleans will periodically bless the reservoir with charms and wards to protect it. The natural power of hundreds of voodoo rituals will guarantee the system's smooth function during crises. In addition, some of these voodoo rituals require large amounts of energy to complete, so we'll have to have massive orgies on the site to reinforce the system. Who could argue with that?

    Entrance fees to the ritual orgy will cover a large portion of the costs of the project, and the remaining funding can be gathered by using it as a Sea World. It would be the largest man-made aquarium in the world! Think of the tourism potential. (cue the slashdot trolls with that dolphin link)

    It's a brilliant plan. Protection from floods, protection from droughts, new tourism revenue, jobs, hot sex, awesome voodoo powers, and enlargement of the national "infrastructure." What more could you ask for? That's pure New Orleans, baby.

  11. Re:Water City by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    This wouldn't have happened if they were running Linux.

  12. Re:Water City by jcr · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's a brilliant plan.

    No, not really. You can't build a reservoir with enough capacity to deal with a breach that leads to the ocean.

    What you could do though, is flood the Sahara, which would drop the world sea level by a few feet. It would basically create a second mediterranean ocean. All you need to do is convince Libya that it's a good idea.

    -jcr

    --
    The only title of honor that a tyrant can grant is "Enemy of the State."
  13. Re:I wonder... by MillionthMonkey · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...how many foreign countries are sending aid to the US now?

    I might take this opportunity to point out that all our troubles are the fault of the French. Yes, the FRENCH.
    If those French colonists hadn't chosen such a poor location to found a city in 1718, we wouldn't be flooded right now!

  14. Re:I wonder... by Colonel+Panic · · Score: 4, Funny

    Much to Mullah Robertson's dismay, the infidel Hugo Chavez has pledged aid in the form of food and fuel.

    Robertson says: "Communism! You can't just go around giving away food and fuel like that! Another reason to get rid of Chavez!"

  15. Re:Leave it alone by Geoffreyerffoeg · · Score: 5, Funny

    New Orleans would have done just fine with a CAT 2 or CAT 3 Getting hit by a CAT 4+ is a very rare event for anyone location.

    Dude. Hurricanes. Not network cable. No need to uppercase CAT.

  16. Re:Water City by Demerara · · Score: 4, Funny

    Mosquitoes suck.

    Forgive me, but isn't this sort of stating the obvious?

    --
    Backward%20compatibility%20is%20over-rated
  17. Re:Water City by sessamoid · · Score: 4, Funny
    Even more importantly, they let Galveston become a cute little tourist town

    Having lived there, I've heard Galveston called a lot of things. I've never heard it called "cute". The prevailing nickname for many of us was "Galvetraz".

    --
    "No, no, no. Don't tug on that. You never know what it might be attached to."
  18. Re:Water City by Overzeetop · · Score: 5, Funny

    Please don't give him any more ideas. He's only got 3 years left, but he can still do so much more damage if he really puts his back into it.

    --
    Is it just my observation, or are there way too many stupid people in the world?
  19. Re:Let's blame Congress by aminorex · · Score: 5, Funny

    The blue states giveth, the red states taketh away.

    --
    -I like my women like I like my tea: green-
  20. Re:How about blaming Louisiana? by Washizu · · Score: 3, Funny

    "I stayed in their hotels, ate their food and patronized their stores."

    You forgot "looked at their boobies"

    --
    OddManIn: A Game of guns and game theory.
  21. Holiday Inn! by Agarax · · Score: 3, Funny

    Or did you just spend the night at a Holiday Inn?

    --
    Remember folks, slashdot doesn't have a -1 "disagree" moderation!
  22. I think ive got enough karma.... by Jeff+Benjamin · · Score: 4, Funny

    Your forgetting, this is the U.S. We dont need to CONVINCE libya of anything, we just need to liberate them.

  23. Re:Water City by digidave · · Score: 3, Funny

    They could have chrooted the city to Colorado for a few weeks or taken hurricane off the ACL.

    --
    The global economy is a great thing until you feel it locally.
  24. Re:Water City by lgw · · Score: 4, Funny

    You say that like it's a *bad* thing. You sound like one of them liberals. Don't worry, once we're fininshed with the *external* enemies of America, your kind is next! I've seen the camps under contstruction - ohhh, what surprises await you!

    --
    Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.
  25. panamanian liberation by dj_virto · · Score: 3, Funny

    Our government liberated Panama from Columbia so we could dig a big ditch.

  26. Another reason this won't work by commodoresloat · · Score: 4, Funny

    If you were dealing with just building over water, you might be fine, but this is New Orleans we're talking about. The alcohol content of the water there makes this entirely impractical.

  27. Re:Water City by Deekin_Scalesinger · · Score: 3, Funny

    Your ideas intrigue me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

    --
    "As the intrepid kobold companion continues his journey, he begins to wonder... if priests raises dead, why anybody die?
  28. Re:Water City by kahanamoku · · Score: 3, Funny

    throwing money at a flood is a nice way to liquidate!

    --
    ----- Concentrate on promoting more than demoting.
  29. Re:Water City by Jah-Wren+Ryel · · Score: 5, Funny

    here was a catastrophic failure during the 1950's which lead to a major redesign and fortification of the who dyke system.

    At which point the Dutch, recognizing the importance of dykes to their society, becoming the first nation to legalize gay marriage, giving dykes all the same legal rights and privileges as straits.

    --
    When information is power, privacy is freedom.
  30. Calling Captain Obvious, come in please. by Qbertino · · Score: 3, Funny

    ... and what can be done to prevent and/or lessen such disasters in the future?

    Well, let's start with number one:

    Have that Airhead that is in charge over there at your place finally sign the Kyoto protocol and reduce greenhouse reason nummero uno, which is CO2. I'd like to add that the US has the highest per capita output of CO2. Y'know, global warming, change of climate, stronger storms and all that ... rings a bell?

    On goes it with

    Don't build below sea level. Maybe? No?

    Then:
    Don't build with egg-carton but with real bricks.

    I could go on, but those are the most pressing.

    --
    We suffer more in our imagination than in reality. - Seneca