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Modern Humans, Neanderthals Shared Earth for 1,000 Years

joffley writes "ABC News is reporting on new evidence that has emerged suggesting Neanderthals co-existed with anatomically modern humans for at least 1,000 years in central France, before gradually disappearing about 28,000 to 30,000 years ago. But why did they disappear?"

55 of 765 comments (clear)

  1. they invented by geekoid · · Score: 4, Funny

    slider technology and left the planet. Unfortunatly they lost the coordinates for there home earth dimension. Also unfortunate that they became NAZI's.

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    The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
    1. Re:they invented by FosterKanig · · Score: 5, Funny

      It's my understanding that the Neanderthals lived in caves located below sea level. A big storm came and wiped them all out.

    2. Re:they invented by David+Rolfe · · Score: 2, Funny

      Time traveling space Nazis?

      Rick Berman? Is that you?

      --
      Read Heinlein's 1953 Revolt in 2100, now more than ever.
    3. Re:they invented by lanswitch · · Score: 4, Funny

      They invented Intellectual Property Rights and sued each other to oblivion?

    4. Re:they invented by patio11 · · Score: 2, Funny

      In Soviet Russia, someone pours Natalie Portman down Hot Grit's pants. (Asked for comment, Hot Grit said "If I wasn't a strict Marxist-Leninist who thought religion was the opiate of the masses I would say 'Thank God for Communism!', but as it is I'll have to content myself with having Natalie Portman being poured down my pants." Natalie Portman could not be reached for comment.)

  2. Far Side? by statusbar · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm CERTAIN that I have seen a Far Side comic that dealt with this exact situation.

    --jeff++

    --
    ipv6 is my vpn
    1. Re:Far Side? by bhtooefr · · Score: 3, Funny
      You were the one that didn't read it.

      The Golgafrinchans didn't do any work, but they survived two million years. Arthur and Trillian were the last two descendants of the Golgafrinchans.

      Remember that it was the "CAVEMEN" that were dying off?
      "Yes. One of our film producers is already making a fascinating documentary about the indigenous cavemen of the area."
      "They're not cavemen."
      "They look like cavemen."
      "Do they live in caves?"
      "Well..."
      "They live in huts."
      "Perhaps they're having their caves redecorated," called out a wag from the crowd.
      Ford rounded on him angrily.
      "Very funny," he said, "but have you noticed that they're dying out?"
      (my emphasis)
    2. Re:Far Side? by Thangodin · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'm reminded of that line by Londo Mollari in Babylon 5: "You know, there were two intelligent species on our planet, but we wiped the other one out. Do you know what the last one said just before he died? AAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!."

    3. Re:Far Side? by Xzzy · · Score: 2, Funny

      A history lesson sure ain't why I read those.

      Am pretty sure every 14 year old kid has the exact same pages dog-eared.

    4. Re:Far Side? by hungrygrue · · Score: 2, Funny

      I remember thinking many times while reading those books that the author really needed to stop and get laid and then write the rest of the book. She had sex on her mind way too much. This theory was confirmed beyond all doubt when she described intercourse between two wooly mamoths for at least twenty pages.

    5. Re:Far Side? by uberdave · · Score: 2, Funny

      Well, it is sex of mammoth proportions, after all.

  3. It's obvious... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Because the Flying Spaghetti Monster decided so.

    1. Re:It's obvious... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      actually, the french neanderthals surrendered...

      har har har..

  4. Because... by mbrewthx · · Score: 2, Funny

    They couldn't find any acting jobs until recently.

    --
    __________ Leave me alone I'm compiling a RPG II program on my S/36...Thanks to metamucil I'm a Regular Meta Moderator
    1. Re:Because... by sigmaseven · · Score: 3, Funny

      You haven't been watching NBC, have you?

  5. I'm pretty sure.... by FraggleMI · · Score: 5, Funny

    they are still here...

    --
    huh?
    1. Re:I'm pretty sure.... by hotspotbloc · · Score: 4, Funny
      they are still here...

      ... in management. A Dilbert comic has come true.

      --
      "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity but they've always worked for me" - HST
    2. Re:I'm pretty sure.... by pickup22 · · Score: 2, Funny

      They've voted for Bush twice now;-)

      --
      God, I wish I could think of a sig!
  6. heh by NanoGator · · Score: 1, Funny

    "ABC News is reporting on new evidence that has emerged suggesting Neanderthals co-existed with anatomically modern humans for at least 1,000 years in central France, before gradually disappearing about 28,000 to 30,000 years ago. But why did they disappear?"

    They surrendered?

    --
    "Derp de derp."
    1. Re:heh by HTTP+Error+403+403.9 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Touché.

      --
      I'm not a Troll, it's reverse psychology.
    2. Re:heh by deaddrunk · · Score: 2, Funny

      Nah they moved to the UK and started following soccer teams. Watch the World Cup next year and you'll see them engaging in the great British tradition of going somewhere foreign and trashing it, which will be especially popular with British Neanderthals since it's in Germany.

      --
      Does a Christian soccer team even need a goalkeeper?
  7. Are you there God? it's me, Neanderthalis by way2trivial · · Score: 5, Funny

    Mebbe they weren't cross fertile (produced mules) and neanderthals had such a strong exogamy component, they died out trying too hard.

    --
    every day http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
  8. no why by NoGuffCheck · · Score: 2, Funny

    the question should be " did they dissapear?"

    and the answer is no http://newsfeed.tcm.ie/images/people/pieterdevilli erskieranclancy.jpg/

    --
    serenity now!
  9. Well. by Jediman1138 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well, everyone took a vote, and they got voted off the island.

    --

    nothing.can.stop.me.now

  10. well duh... by imboboage0 · · Score: 2, Funny

    They invented computers. about 100 years later, they were all nerds hiding in caves bootlegging MP3s and stealing wireless connections. Ahhh, the future of us.

    --
    Honesty may be the best policy, but by process of elimination, dishonesty is the second best policy.
  11. They're still here.. by GreyWolf3000 · · Score: 5, Funny
    The humans got sick of the neanderthals and moved away. The neanderthals just...stayed in France :)

    I kid, I kid.

    --
    Slashdot: Where people pretend to be twice as smart as they really are by behaving like children.
  12. Its both! by geekoid · · Score: 5, Funny

    maybe the neanderthalls evolved, and modern humans were created by intelligent design?

    by intellegent design, I of course mean Flying spahgetti monster.

    --
    The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
    1. Re:Its both! by XXIstCenturyBoy · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yep.. God killed the Neanderthalls. Thats being an Intelligent Designer.

      And he left their bones to test our faith.

    2. Re:Its both! by hungrygrue · · Score: 5, Funny

      Or they were a prototype. ;-)

    3. Re:Its both! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Actually, the Neaderthalls were just suspected of having WMDs. The rest, as they say, is history.

    4. Re:Its both! by harishpa · · Score: 2, Funny

      We still co-exist with them. They evolved and became managers.

    5. Re: Its both! by indifferent+children · · Score: 2, Funny

      No, it is not the Napkin that is Intelligent. This is the Deus Ex Napkin theory.

      --
      Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it. --Mark Twain
  13. Disappeared? No... by s-twig · · Score: 2, Funny

    They didn't disappear, they moved into management roles.

  14. not in the article by uits · · Score: 3, Funny

    It's not implied in the article...but I've got a nagging suspicion we just slaughtered them for fun and sport.

  15. I agree. by TheOtherAgentM · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm sure many of us at Slashdot remember getting beating up by guys on the football team that resembled Neanderthals.

  16. Damn! by ShadyG · · Score: 4, Funny

    Based on that picture, I'd have to say that the Neanderthals died out because the Cro-Magnon women were way better looking.

  17. Farscape: The Eidelons took them! by epgandalf · · Score: 2, Funny

    I just watched Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars movie last night and I learned that the Eidelons took humans from earth 27,000 years ago and they eventually became the Peacekeepers. That's when they stopped sharing earth.

  18. Re:Interesting by geomon · · Score: 4, Funny

    *shrug* there doesn't have to be any evidence. but, that does mean it shouldn't be taught alongside evolution as an "alternate theory"

    Great!

    Why not include Scientology along with Judeo-Christian creation?

    You think a Christian parents are pissed that Little Johnny was told by his teacher that man evolved from a common ancestor to apes, just wait until he comes home and tells Mommy and Daddy about a Galactic Federation founded 5,000,000 years ago, Teegeeack, H-Bombs, and body thetans.

    I can't wait to see that one.

    --
    "Rocky Rococo, at your cervix!"
  19. Re: Interesting by Black+Parrot · · Score: 5, Funny


    > *shrug* there doesn't have to be any evidence. but, that does mean it shouldn't be taught alongside evolution as an "alternate theory", just on the basis that there is no evidence.

    Here are my favorite no-evidence theories that I want schoolkiddies to learn:

    • Flying Spaghetti Monster Theory
    • Intelligent Falling Theory
    • Invisible Pink Unicorn Theory
    • Last Thursday Theory
    • 2+2=5 Theory
    We've really got to quit letting the boring old farts set the agenda!

    --
    Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
  20. Re:No, natural selection in action by hoggoth · · Score: 4, Funny

    > Or maybe they just didn't fuck like rabbits and decimate their natural environment and keep moving on like an uncontrollable scourge?

    I, for one, welcome our new rabbity-fucking uncontrollably moving slightly higher evolved overlords! Er... our old overlords... er... I mean us. I welcome us.

    --
    - For the complete works of Shakespeare: cat /dev/random (may take some time)
  21. Re: Interesting by StarvingSE · · Score: 2, Funny

    I, for one, welcome our new Flying Spaghetti overlords.

    --
    I got nothin'
  22. Re:*sigh* by uncqual · · Score: 2, Funny

    Unfortunately, the Intelligent Designer Program (IDP) will be patched to prevent the weaker from dying off and to kill off the stronger. I imagine this will be part of patch #9756483 to IDP 1.0 which will be downloaded via AutoUpdate on a Tuesday soon (since it is a critical fix). Then the evolutionists will be wrong (the strongest didn't survive) and the IDers will cover their tracks. Wait... my brain hurts - maybe the download is happening early... NO, NO... IT'S NOT OKAY TO INST.........

    --
    Why is there an "insightful" mod and why isn't it "-1"? If I wanted insight, I wouldn't be reading /.
  23. Slartibartfast??? by HermanAB · · Score: 3, Funny

    Amazing, only in America would people teach in Public School that Earth was created by the Magrathean planetary construction engineer Slartibartfast. Douglas Adams would be proud!

    --
    Oh well, what the hell...
  24. Re:Interesting by danharan · · Score: 4, Funny

    If the Scientologists get their theories in, so should Pastafarians.

    I can't prove my beliefs in the FSM (blessed be), but you can't disprove them either. So there! ;)

    --
    Information: "I want to be anthropomorphized"
  25. Re:Interesting by danharan · · Score: 2, Funny

    The rapture- this makes total sense now. So that's where all my socks disappear- I must be very favored by the IPU.

    This information is obviously vital, and should no doubt be covered in Biology class!

    --
    Information: "I want to be anthropomorphized"
  26. Re:Interesting by ozmanjusri · · Score: 2, Funny

    Do they wear dreads?

    Those of us who have been touched by his noodly appendage generally prefer Angel Hair to dreads.

    --
    "I've got more toys than Teruhisa Kitahara."
  27. Neanderthals DO exist by FredThompson · · Score: 4, Funny

    My sister told me she's dated a few...

  28. Re:Well, isn't that obvious by crazyphilman · · Score: 2, Funny

    The story of the Garden of Eden (as told by a New Yorker):

    God: "Hmm... Kinda bored; Greenwich Village won't exist for 6,000 years... Maybe I'll make some people, see what they get up to."

    POOF!

    God: "Hey, YOU! Nature-boy! Your name is Adam. See all these animals over here? They're for you. Have fun, but, um..." (thinks for a second) "I know! Ok, see those two trees over there? The ones with the juicy apples and so on? Those are the trees of Knowledge of Good and Evil, and of Life. Yeah... So... You don't need any of that stuff, so don't eat them. Everything else is fair game, though."

    God (to Gabriel): "Hey, what odds will you give me that he'll pick the tree of knowledge?"

    Gabriel: "My Lord, I believe he will pick the tree of Life. Knowledge is overrated, it sayeth this on Slashdot."

    God: "Gimme fifty bucks on Knowledge."

    (They wait a week. Nothing happens.)

    God: "What IS it with this guy? All he does is pet that damn cat."

    Gabriel: "Perhaps he needs someone to egg him on."

    God: "Hmm... Hey! Let's get him laid!"

    POOF!

    God (to Adam): "Hey, Nature-boy! I made you a babe. Check her out: 36-26-36! Be fruitful and multiply! But don't eat from those two trees!"

    Adam: "W00T!"

    Eve: "Don't get any ideas, buster..."

    (Another week goes by).

    God (to Gabriel): "They're STILL not eating the damn fruit. What the hell is WRONG with these people? They're beautiful apples, huge and red, how can they MISS them???"

    Gabriel: "My lord, they've been fornicating day and night. Perhaps you shouldn't have created them as adults..."

    God: "Yeah, yeah... We've got to speed this process up. Fetch me that consultant."

    Consultant: "Yessssssss, my Loooooorrdd?" (flicks tongue, hisses).

    God: "Ok, I need you to trick that dame down there into eating some apples from that tree over there. Normal consulting rates apply, be mindful of the do not exceed rate, keep an eye on expenses or I'll really do a number on you."

    And the rest, as they say... Is history!

    (Epilogue):

    God: "Ha! Fork 'em over, Gabe, that's two to one, too!"

    Gabriel: "Man, what a disappointment. I was sure she was going to go for the Tree of Life for a minute there."

    God: "Ha! By me, I knew that kid wouldn't disappoint me! Hey! I have an idea! Gimme some odds on that Kain vs. Abel bout we've got coming up... I'm feeling lucky..."

    --
    Farewell! It's been a fine buncha years!
  29. Re:Birth canal problems by teknickle · · Score: 2, Funny

    Interesting take on that.
    When I was in school, the girls with the 'large birth canals' were the more popular girls. Even though they weren't as smart as the homosapiens, we didn't call them 'neanderthals', we called them 'Cheerleaders'.

  30. God's Roadmap by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    From God's Roadmap:

    Beta
    Release version: Homo neanderthalensis
    Build name: Adam
    Release date: 4,569,770,000 years after cooling
    Deprecated: 4,569,971,000 years after cooling

    Stable
    Release version: Homo sapiens
    Build name: Eve
    Release date: 4,569,800,000 years after cooling
    Deprecated:
    [Sigh] Still deciding. I mean, the codebase is starting to look a bit creaky in a few places, and they're starting to tinker with it themselves (they think it's open source - hah!). Inquisitive little so-and-so's can't leave well enough alone... They've noticed the legacy code from the previous build too - ick, some cruft in there. Very tempting to trash the lot and start again using AOP. Mind you I mightn't have to lift a finger if they don't stop blowing each other to smithereens.
    [sigh] TODO: Take oort cloud inventory - look for something nice and big...

  31. They started receiving email by kiore · · Score: 3, Funny

    REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

    Dear Mr Neanderthal,

    First I must solicit your strictest confidence of this transaction. This is by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential and "Top Secret".

    You must be surprised hearing from me in this manner as we have not previously communicated.

    Please allow me to introduce myself. I am HOMO SAPIENS SAPIENS, descendant and heir of the late HOMO HEIDELBERGENSIS of AFRICA.

    Before he passed away my late ancestor secreted one hundred thousand (ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND) african elephants in the plains of Africa and I seek your assistance to export these animals to Europe where the growing shortage of the similar "Woolly mamoths" would make them highly marketable.

    While the seas and deserts seperating Africa from Europe are easily overcome, African Animals are unable to tolerate cold and I will need a number of large fur coats to protect them for the journey.

    In return for the suply of these furs and acting as my agent for the sale I would be delighted to offer you a full 50% of the realised market value.

    Yours Faithfully

    Homo Sapiens Sapiens,
    Lagos,
    Africa

  32. Another theory... by Lone_Canuck · · Score: 2, Funny

    The Neanderthals couldn't order in French so they simply starved to death.

  33. Easy by stewwy · · Score: 2, Funny

    they caught avian bird flu........ coming to a chicken near you this winter

  34. Re:Saw A Program About This On German TV 2 Years A by CmdrGravy · · Score: 3, Funny

    Are you somehow unaware of the over riding laws of real men ?

    1) Every hole's a goal.
    2) You don't look at the mantlepiece when you're stoking the fire.

  35. Re:Saw A Program About This On German TV 2 Years A by aquatone282 · · Score: 2, Funny

    The neandrathal female in the program WAS very ugly.

    But boys will be boys, won't they?

    ;D

    --
    What?