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Oregon Is Growing A Mystery Bulge
nedwolf writes "LiveScience is reporting that a 100 square mile bulge has been rising in Oregon. First observed from a satellite using a relatively new technology called 'radar interferometry', some believe this to be the formation of a new volcano. I think it's just happy to see me."
When asked for comment, Oregon said, "I can't help it! California's been rubbing against me for millions of years!"
But I thought America's wang was Florida.
Good afternoon, gentlemen. As you are all no doubt aware, I have perfected a device capable of generating volcanoes at my whim. Even now I have raised a titanic bulge of liquid hot mag-ma under the state of Oregon. This device, which I've dubbed 'The Erupteron', has passed its field test with flying colors, I'm sure you'll agree...
You see, gentlemen, 'The Erupteron' will be used to generate bulges under one of your major cities every six hours, causing them to sink into firey hot mag-ma, utterly destroying them...that is...unless you pay me...
One hundred billion trillion fafillion dollahs!!!
(cue dramatic music)
Gentleman, you have my demands...peace out.
____
~ |rip/\/\aster /\/\onkey
The U.S. hit puberty and Oregon got the country's first zit
since when are volcanos square? must be some giant square monolith planted by aliens years ago rising out of the ground
After all, now there's just more of it to love.
My comments are my own, and do not represent the views of my employer, my spouse, my children, or my cats.
It's where they stash their weed.
"These volcanos are great for tourism... "
New Orleans was great for tourism too. Maybe we should build a city on top of this bulge.
Angela Dodson: I guess God has a plan for all of us.
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm, lady. He's not planning anything.
There's no place like ~/
Has anyone looked toward their Garbage Removal manager? is Oregon going to be picking up & moving to Washington?
"There is a reason Linux is free"
~me~
You ever get the feeling that we are on the receiving end of someone that got tired of playing Sim City and is now just unleashing disasters and seeing what will happen.
A week and a half ago, I climbed South Sister for the first time. Again, no sacrificial maiden (they're hard to find in Oregon.) The clock is ticking.
Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change the bulb and four more to chase off the Californians who have come up to relate to the experience
--From the The Cannonical [sic] Collection of Light Bulb Jokes, Usenet, October 1983 Edition
Welcome to the Panopticon. Used to be a prison, now it's your home.
Maybe we should build a city on top of this bulge. Great idea! It could be America's new hot spot. A party town that is sure to be a blast. I predict real estate will explode there.
His Noodily Appendage works in awesome and mysterious ways.
If His Noodliness says Oregon needs a bulge, then it shall be so.
Throw me a frick'n bone here.
A Californian a Texan and an Oregonian are sittin around a fire sipping their evening beverage.
Texan pulls out a 45 caliber hog leg, tosses his empty of Lone Star Beer up in the air, and plugs it dead center.
Californian finishes his mulled Petite Sara, tosses the wine bottle in the air and shatters it with one round from a Saturday night special.
The Oregonian takes a last sip of his bottled Starbucks Late`, tosses it in the air, grabs his deer rifle, plugs the Californian and catches the bottle
"Why'd ya go and do THAT?" says the Texan.
"Because", says the Oregonian, "We have plenty of those up here" gesturing at the dead Californian, "and this", holding up the bottle, "is worth FIVE CENTS!"
- Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum.