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Good bye Dark Matter, Hello General Relativity

dr. loser writes "The CERN newsletter reports that a new paper by scientists at the University of Victoria has demonstrated that one of the prime observational justifications for the existence of dark matter can be explained without any dark matter at all, by a proper use of general relativity! What does this imply for cosmology and particle physics, both of which have been worrying about other aspects of dark matter?"

30 of 688 comments (clear)

  1. Re:i finger my ass by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    Seems perfectly safe, since there is no dark matter.

  2. So does that mean... by scsirob · · Score: 5, Funny

    .. that Dark Doesn't Matter??

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    To Terminate, or not to Terminate, that's the question - SCSIROB
    1. Re:So does that mean... by spellraiser · · Score: 3, Funny

      I'm not sure. I'm still in the dark about this matter.

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    2. Re:So does that mean... by FlatCatInASlatVat · · Score: 2, Funny
      Don't you mean that "Dark Matter Doesn't"?

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      Sub ubi non contorque (Don't get your knickers in a twist)

    3. Re:So does that mean... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      It means that there is no Dark Force!

      The white force has won!

      I should have known that Star Wars was just an old fairy tale.

    4. Re:So does that mean... by BushCheney08 · · Score: 3, Funny

      But what are the implications for light matter then?

      --
      Be a real patriot: Question authority. Think for yourself. Formulate your own conclusions.
    5. Re:So does that mean... by Anonymous+Writer · · Score: 1, Funny

      News for Nerds. Stuff that isn't Dark Matter.

    6. Re:So does that mean... by ArsonSmith · · Score: 1, Funny

      My face is getting dark as I get matter and matter at these jokes.

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  3. Neat by SilverspurG · · Score: 2, Funny

    The concept is neat. I'm not about to wade through the math and double-check anything. It'd be nice if we could stick with general relativity without dark matter.

    On a side note, they are distributing the source. It's possible they may even be GPL friendly.

    GPL friendly physicists rule.

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    1. Re:Neat by famebait · · Score: 2, Funny

      GPL friendly physicists rule.

      Not my country. And to be quite honest, I'm not totally sure I wish they did either.

      --
      sudo ergo sum
    2. Re:Neat by Mr.+Bad+Example · · Score: 1, Funny

      > What would you do with a GPL scientific paper -- change some things and put your own name on it?

      Hell yeah, I would. I expect to win next year's Nobel Prize for Mr. Bad Example's General Theory of Why the Ladies Should Be All Up Ons.

  4. Damn.. by Druox · · Score: 4, Funny

    Geeze science, make up your mind - Think of the poor sci-fi writers for those made-for-tv movies! Have you considered THEM before publishing research findings??

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    1. Re:Damn.. by dcphoenix · · Score: 1, Funny

      As a matter of fact, yes - yes they did consider the scifi writers. Now, with this new report, those very writers can start talking about the vast government conspiracy to cover up the truth about dark matter and those big bad aliens hiding in it until they attack us.

    2. Re:Damn.. by Anne_Nonymous · · Score: 2, Funny

      Dark Matter is just a theory anyhow. I propose we teach my Dark Turkey Meat Theory alongside Dark Matter in our public schools.

  5. Re:And in 10 years... by moonbender · · Score: 5, Funny

    Science just isn't definite these days, is it?

    Maybe.

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  6. That sound you heard... by OakDragon · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...was physicists around the world collectively slapping their foreheads.

  7. Scientists flunking general relavity? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Aha, but the Electric Universe theory offers a solution as to why much dark matter is replacing the grey matter that used to be important to our society.

  8. Oops, I did it again. by TheSam · · Score: 2, Funny

    Was this another English to Metric conversion that screwed it all up?

  9. What, no Gaffer Tape? by Morgaine · · Score: 5, Funny

    TFA is just plain silly.

    Every teccie knows that the universe is held together by gaffer tape, and the only problem has been to find the link between gaffer tape and dark matter.

    If relativity does away with dark matter, well fine, but the cosmologists are missing the key issue here. All this means is that now we have to find the link between relativity and gaffer tape.

    --
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  10. General Relativity by SnarfQuest · · Score: 1, Funny

    General Relativity

    I knew that missing mass was my fat brother-in-law!

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  11. "What does this imply....?" by ben0207 · · Score: 5, Funny

    It means my physics paper is proper fucked, for one.

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  12. Einstein has once again, Powned modern physicists. by doublem · · Score: 4, Funny

    How many of us have done as much?

    Hell, even Hawking has never shaken up the ideas of science and physics to anything near the degree Einstein has.

    How long has he been dead? And he's STILL stirring up trouble!

    Personally, I think his statue in Washington DC needs to be bigger. He's done far more for this country and the world at large than most of the people with bigger statues. It's just not fair!

    --
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  13. Re:As usual... by lgw · · Score: 4, Funny

    As any engineer knows: every problem has a simple, easy to understand, wrong answer.

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  14. Good, good... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    ... but I do feel sorry for all the grad students who're crumpling up their dissertations papers.

  15. To boldly go ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    Oh, no! This is going to ruin all those ST:NG plot devices.

  16. Re:Well it clearly matters to some people... by jkabbe · · Score: 4, Funny

    My favorite quote on this general issue comes from Carl Sagan in one of the Cosmos shows:

    Talking about early observations of Venus...

    "Observation: Couldn't see a thing.
    Conclusion: DINOSAURS!!!"

    That scientific methodology has not left us, I am afraid to say.

  17. Re:Rationality .vs. Creationism by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    there is no way that there is a smart Linux user for every dumb Windows user. You've never worked at a help desk have you?

  18. Re:Well it clearly matters to some people... by lgw · · Score: 2, Funny

    "because QM is true and that's just the way it is.. "

    I find this funny because I too see this a lot. It must come from trying to teach the subject. When pressed, however, I've had people fall back to "OK, it could all be wrong, but *you* have to proposed a better quantum theory of measurement first". So I think even Quantum(tm) alternatives may be considered seriously but critically, it's just that you have to propose a very broad replacement theory, beyond what could easily be expressed in English.

    On the whole I too have found scientists very willing to consider alternative theories, as long as those theories haven't already been considered and determined to be false.

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    Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.
  19. Re:Well it clearly matters to some people... by brit74 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Based on the moderation that followed, I would say that "some people" don't like it when popular theories get questioned. Which just goes to show you--once a scientific "fact" has been established, our attachment to it becomes as dogmatic as any theological notion...

    You're exactly right. This is also why our scientific ideas - like our theological ideas - haven't changed in thousands of years.

  20. Activists Protest, Dark Matter Disenfranchised by tenzig_112 · · Score: 3, Funny
    hot off the wires:

    VICTORIA, BRITISH COLUMBIA- When astrophysicists first ran calculations on the observed rotational speeds of nearby galaxies in the 1970's, they ran into a bit of a problem when the numbers didn't add up. According to the familiar laws of Newtonian mechanics, these meta bodies should be much heavier than the number of solar objects would imply. This gap led to one of the most controversial inferences in modern science, that
    the universe contains a massive amount of non-radiating "dark matter" hidden among the stars. For decades scientists were satisfied with this notion. Lectures were delivered, textbooks were printed, and tenure was granted.


    A new paper from the University of Victoria, however, casts doubt on all of this. It argues that the whole notion "dark mattter" may be the byproduct of a miscalculation [someone forgot to carry the six] and demonstrates how a proper application of Einstein's principles of general relativity can fully account for a galaxy's rotation and mass without considering this unobserved dark matter. Such contrary ideas often run into resistance, but this theory has engendered far more scientific vitriol than anyone expected.


    In fact, when researchers arrived to deliver the paper at a conference last weekend, they were met by an angry mob of civil rights protesters headed by Julian Bond of the NAACP.


    "It's fairly clear what's going on here," said Bond through a bullhorn. "Just because it's dark they're saying it doesn't count. I, for one, will not stand for this sort of disenfranchisement. We demand that CERN count all the matter."



    OK, not really. Just thoght it would be fun.