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Gizmondo Tilts At Windmills
The always excellent Game Over feature on CNN reports on the upcoming launch of the Gizmondo portable console, and what a colossally bad idea it is. From the article: "Assuming you do want to play one of those games, it's going to be a frustrating affair. The system's D-pad controller doesn't lend itself to accurate aiming, particularly in fast-paced games. Of course, you have to turn on the Gizmondo to play games or take advantage of any of its offerings. This is not a quick task. In fact, it takes 48 seconds. (Compare that to less than five seconds on the Nintendo DS.) "
#2 - To launch a device with a title like 'Sticky Balls'
#3 - To do "all that" for more money that the PSP
Oh and 'no retail space' should fit in there somewhere too.
I'm seeing... It's coming... A repeat of the NGage... That's it... Yes, it is.
In case you're a philistine like me, and have no fscking clue what "Gizmondo Tilts At Windmills" means, you'll be pleased to learn that it means "Gizmondo prepares for a battle".
Comes from Don Quixote , apparently. I'd be pleased to learn from some of our more learned slashdotters why it means that.
Registering accounts later than some other chrisb since 1997
This is spectacular. I've never seen such a dismal product pitch. It's just fascinating how much that sucks.
There's only one way I'll ever buy one of those esoteric 3rd-party handhelds (I'm happy with my DS, thanks) - full x86 compatibility, to the point that I can load PC-DOS onto the sucker and play old Liero, X-Com and Descent on the damn thing. Until then, keep dreaming.
...as soon as I can trade saved Duke Nukem Forever games between it and my Phantom.
OMG! I must have one of these!!
This Gizmondo thing is a joke, right? They're not actually going to sell this handheld thing for $400, right? Right?
Modern copyright is theft of culture from everyone and it retards the progress of the useful arts and sciences.
When I first heard about the Gizmondo, I had hopes that it would be a good platform for homebrew and emulation. Hell no! They are using bios lockout just like on the PSP to prevent development.
The now deceased Tapwave Zodiac was a pretty good little emulation handheld, although the processor was too slow and it had a weird mutant palm OS on it.
I would really love a comfortable pocket pc designed for gaming. I have an Asus one which does the job ok, particularly for 8 bit games like NES and Segas Master System, but no Power PC handhelds have good button layouts for gaming, and most have terrible dpads. There is however, a ton of good emulation software for the platform.
Sometimes my arms bend back.
what are they smoking!
Nintendo's dust.
The $229 version forces you to watch them.
The $179 version randomly spews profanity and flatulence sounds at high volumes.
The $149 version kicks your shins and sheds asbestos.
The $99 version calls your girlfriend and tells her you never loved her, then puts out a mafia hit on you.
The $49 version only shows episodes of 'Caroline in the City', and is glued permanently to your face.
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WARNING:Slashdot karma not redeemable in the afterlife.
There has been much discussion related to the Gizmondo. Specifically, the posting by Threep Doat on that link.
They also just announced the next Gizmondo in September. It will apparently come in 2006 and feature wide screen.
Now think about it. You could blow $399 on a model that'll last less than half a year, and doesn't have any games worth playing anyway. Or you could just wait for the frickin' widescreen one, and see if any good games will be available by then.
Makes me wonder wtf are these people smoking. It's like they're actually trying to discourage people from buying one.
A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
I'm not going to accuse you of being a Luddite. I'm going to accuse you of having no idea what you're talking about. The original gameboy is the best selling videogame system of all time, the DS is currently outselling the ps2, and over 150 million of the various types of game boy have been sold. Nintendo makes plenty of money on handhelds. (Hence the occasional speculation that Nintendo will go handheld-only)
You can be playing a game on DS or GBA in less than 5 seconds . (Not having played with the PSP for any length of time, I don't know exactly how long it takes to be playing a game on that system. Anyone know?)
There are games of varying complexity, just like on any other system. The Warioware series is one of the best pick-up-and-play games I've ever seen: you can enjoy it for 60 seconds, or spend 2 hours playing the various minigames. On the other end of the spectrum are games like Advance Wars or Fire Emblem. Strategy games may not seem like ideal handheld games, but they work very well. Both of these save after every move, which lets you easily play them on a bus or something and not worry about losing any progress.
"(Not having played with the PSP for any length of time, I don't know exactly how long it takes to be playing a game on that system. Anyone know?)"
A bit longer when you first put the game in (it _is_ a mini-CD, so it has load times), but after that it's instant on/off. Turning it "off" really just puts it to sleep, so when you turn it back "on", you're playing again in less than half a second. Literally. No need to search for a save point or try to finish the level or whatever. You can literally just turn it off when you get off the train, and turn it back on later to resume from the same point as if nothing happened.
It has a "really off" mode too, if you keep the power button pushed for a few seconds, but it beats me why you'd want to. Pretty much everyone I know prefers to just put it to sleep.
Which is really what left me scratching my head when I've read the grandparent post, and all that rant about how games need to be instant-on and all that. I mean, wtf? It's like seeing someone ranting about how cars will never be successful until they start having 4 wheels. Well, blimey, they already do.
A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
> from what I've seen [the GameBoy Advance] never sold particularly well.
<laughs until he passes out>
Other people will likely respond to this by accusing me of being a Luddite...my response would be to in turn accuse them of being brainless lemmings.
Ah yes, the wonderful attitude of "I don't like it, so nobody else could possibly find it useful." And anyone that disagrees is a brainless lemming? How charming.
A friend of mine works on game development for the GameBoy Advance. Although this device is due to be end-of-lifed soon, from what I've seen it never sold particularly well
No. Just....No. Did you even look at sales figures, or are just assuming that because you don't personally know many people that own one? I hate to sound like a jerk, but your assumption is so far removed from actual facts that it's jaw-dropping.
A person on a train does not want to wait a full minute for a handheld to boot up so that they can play a game.
If you have only a 5-minute train ride, maybe. Personally, I have a 30 minute ride each way, every day, and the GBA's short wait upon turning on doesn't bother me in the slightest. I've seen quite a few other people using GBA's and the odd PSP as well.
If Nintendo and the other companies want to make money from handheld devices
they should remember the KISS principle, and why the Game and Watch sold well for them back in the day. It's because it was simple...
They (or at least Nintendo) already have. There's a reason for the huge sales of the Gameboy's various incarnations, after all.
Why are you making these statements, when you apparently have almost zero experience with what you're talking about?