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Gizmondo Tilts At Windmills

Posted by Zonk on from the sheeeee-booooom dept.

The always excellent Game Over feature on CNN reports on the upcoming launch of the Gizmondo portable console, and what a colossally bad idea it is. From the article: "Assuming you do want to play one of those games, it's going to be a frustrating affair. The system's D-pad controller doesn't lend itself to accurate aiming, particularly in fast-paced games. Of course, you have to turn on the Gizmondo to play games or take advantage of any of its offerings. This is not a quick task. In fact, it takes 48 seconds. (Compare that to less than five seconds on the Nintendo DS.) "

11 of 81 comments (clear)

  1. Bad marketing decisions by sm4kxd · · Score: 5, Insightful
    #1 - To try and take on Nintendo and Sony with features like a manually updated 'Currency Exchange Rate'

    #2 - To launch a device with a title like 'Sticky Balls'

    #3 - To do "all that" for more money that the PSP

    Oh and 'no retail space' should fit in there somewhere too.

  2. *Crystal Ball* by quark101 · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I'm seeing... It's coming... A repeat of the NGage... That's it... Yes, it is.

    1. Re:*Crystal Ball* by WasterDave · · Score: 5, Funny

      No way man, they sold *hundreds* of NGage's.

      Dave

      --
      I write a blog now, you should be afraid.
  3. Tilting at windmills by chrisbtoo · · Score: 3, Insightful

    In case you're a philistine like me, and have no fscking clue what "Gizmondo Tilts At Windmills" means, you'll be pleased to learn that it means "Gizmondo prepares for a battle".

    Comes from Don Quixote , apparently. I'd be pleased to learn from some of our more learned slashdotters why it means that.

    --
    Registering accounts later than some other chrisb since 1997
    1. Re:Tilting at windmills by FLAGGR · · Score: 4, Informative

      Dude in a book went crazy and decided to mount his hourse and attack a windmill. Fun times.

    2. Re:Tilting at windmills by pregister · · Score: 5, Informative

      It has a different flavor than just 'prepares for battle'. Don Quixote 'thought' he was attacking giants. He was, in fact, attacking windmills. So...Gizmondo thought they were gearing up to attack the giants of the industry while the fruits of their labor, at least according to TFA, show that they really had no clue what they were doing. Not a bad metaphor here, really.

    3. Re:Tilting at windmills by Kredal · · Score: 3, Funny

      Nope, the bible is the top selling fiction book of all time. (:

      *ducks away from the hordes of angry christians*

      --
      Whoever stated that signature sizes should be limited to one hundred and twenty characters can just go ahead and kiss my
    4. Re:Tilting at windmills by earthbound+kid · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Even if you accept the premise that the Bible is fiction, it's not a novel. Novels are about following the inner life of protagonists. The Bible does a bunch of different things, mostly record-keeping, poetry, prophecy, and a little bit of philosophy, but it never does that.

  4. Exactly what consumers want by Digital+Vomit · · Score: 4, Insightful
    ...will feature an advertising service that sends commercials up to 40 seconds long to your unit as many as three times a day.

    OMG! I must have one of these!!

    This Gizmondo thing is a joke, right? They're not actually going to sell this handheld thing for $400, right? Right?

    --
    Modern copyright is theft of culture from everyone and it retards the progress of the useful arts and sciences.
  5. Re:good god! by geminidomino · · Score: 4, Funny

    what are they smoking!

    Nintendo's dust.

  6. Wow, I'll take 20 by OneIsNotPrime · · Score: 4, Funny
    The $399 version "allows you to turn off" ads.

    The $229 version forces you to watch them.

    The $179 version randomly spews profanity and flatulence sounds at high volumes.

    The $149 version kicks your shins and sheds asbestos.

    The $99 version calls your girlfriend and tells her you never loved her, then puts out a mafia hit on you.

    The $49 version only shows episodes of 'Caroline in the City', and is glued permanently to your face.

    --

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    WARNING:Slashdot karma not redeemable in the afterlife.