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Velociraptor Bad At Disemboweling
illtron writes "British scientists at the University of Manchester were apparently bored and decided to find out, once and for all, if the Velociraptor was as mean as Jurassic Park would like everyone to think. They created a robotic Velociraptor leg to simulate the effect that leg would have on pig and crocodile skin. It turns out that disemboweling a dino probably would have been out of the question, since the best that big claw could do was usually just to leave a deep puncture." From the article: "I realized that the sick-claw was not a knife, but was rather more like the claw of a cat. Cats use their claws to pierce and hold prey, not to disembowel. Whereas my work was mostly theoretical, Phil took one step farther as he was given the opportunity to mechanically test the disemboweling hypothesis. His work is very important,"
KSHAAAAAAAAAW!
Aaaaaaaaaaugh!
GNARFGNARF!
Kssssssssssssss!
SPLURT
... from the other two raptors you didnt even know were there. And they DO have disembowling claws, unlike this obvious decoy.
"His work is very important"
Hmmm...
"No one likes working in a hamster wheel, and your shop smells of cedar shavings from here." - TaleSpinner
"Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus."
Dear God,
Today, I read a story about scientists creating a robotic velociraptor leg to see how well it could gut certain animals. What I don't understand is, why do we not know more about dinosaurs without having to go through such extensive research? My pastor told us that the Bible teaches that the world is only a few thousand years old, which must mean that men and dinosaurs lived alongside one another (perhaps Jesus even rode a triceritops?). If that is the case, then why isn't dinosaur behavior and activity a matter of written record?
Yours Truly,
Johnny Christian.
"Our study shows that the claw was used as a climbing crampon. It allowed the dromaeosaurs to hook themselves on to the flanks of their prey: when the prey turned, so too was the attacker," Manning told Discovery News. He continued in a puzzlingly forced manner, "Yes. We truly have nothing at all to fear from what I am sure are very friendly dinosaurs. We should trust that any dinosaur attacks are certainly not imminent. Nothing to fear whatsoever."
Questioned on the claw marks in his back, Manning replied, "What? Oh that. Yes. Haha. Silly me, I must have walked into a door. Yes. Nothing to fear whatsoever."
"Sure your scientists set up this elaborate demonstration because they could but they never stopped to think if they should!!!"
Also why is it every time a paragraph ends with "This is very important" usually isn't at all?
"I realized that the sick-claw was not a knife, but was rather more like the claw of a cat. Cats use their claws to pierce and hold prey, not to disembowel."
Right now I'm sitting here with a 2 inch long scratch on my tum... uh.. stom.. uh.. crap factory because last night my clutzy-ass-cat took a swipe at the cord to my sweat pants.
"Derp de derp."
What a waste of scientific effort. This was so obvious in the first place. Of course they suck at disemboweling. Even if they had the strength and accuracy to hurl the ball down the lane and knock all the pins over, how the hell would those tiny little arms hold the ball?
"Velociraptor Considered Harmless"
"His work is very important,"
They must know something we don't: such as when they're planning on turning Euro-Disney into Jurrasic Park.
---Joe Ego
Because now we all know that the next time we encounter a velociraptor we do not have to fear disemboweling. You would not believe how many nights this has kept me up...
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
Go cure cancer or something.
Uh huh. Look, I'll be honest with you. I'm not sure paleontologists are able to cure cancer. I know. It comes as a shock to most people. We've all heard the tired old argument that dinosaurs died from cancer, and that the cure to cancer is in their magical dinosaur bones, but I just don't buy it. And frankly until someone proves it, I don't think much effort is going to be put into forcing paleontologists by whip and chain to cure cancer. I'm sorry that you had to hear this from me.
Deinonychus would kick thier ass any day!
shit did i say that out loud..
The war with islam is a war on the beast
The war on terror is a war for peace
You need ask yourself only one question:
What Would Raptor Jesus Do?
Does this mean that in a fight, the lawyer might win? Noooooooooo!
From TFA: The Velociraptor dinosaur... was not as vicious as portrayed. On the contrary, it embraced its victims before its razor sharp teeth went to work...
Awww, look. He wants to hug me!
Writerati
This is indeed a delightful reply. I'd like to know the current job of the grandparent when he's back from hiding in shame.
Uh huh. You just make those limp excuses for the paleontologists. Some runner at a marathon is going to totally blow by you and find that cure, and then they're going to be digging up paleontologist bones with their petrified feet planted firmly in their mouths. ;)
What's worse, they refuse to acknowledge my theory of Intelligent Disemboweling.
but a pointy stick
Now I eat the banana...
So, geeks don't only have unrealistic fantasies and expectations about sex?
What? A velociraptor carrying a bowling ball?
It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios!
Yeah, I was going to say anybody that thinks cats only make small puncture wounds has never owned one.
.5 inch deep wounds are a trivial matter for a cat to produce
Here's an experiment;
- borrow cat
- fill tub while cat watches
- grab cat
- put cat in water
You will note that a) cats can somehow reverse gravity and automatically apply force upward with nothing to work against and b) 6 inches by
This guy (in the article) doesn't know what he's talking about.
It's cool they are using engineering to solve some of these issues instead of stupid speculation though.
I have to use leather welding gloves to handle my beast.
:-)
Heh heh heh...