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NASA Puts A Stop To Space Romance
electro-donkey writes "According to a New Scientist article, romantic entanglements among astronauts could derail long-haul space trips. A top-level NASA panel has decided, though it could alleviate boredom, space sex could cause trouble too. On a mission to Mars, for example, which would take up to 30 months, sexual conflict or infidelity could lead to a 'breakdown in crew functioning'."
No space sex? Why the hell am I wasting my time at astronaut school, then?!
Just because you sold your soul to the devil that needn't make you a teetotaler. --The Devil and Daniel Webster
Haven't these people seen Star Trek? Kirk did it with every green woman in space, and that crew turned out fine...
Being an astronaut is about to swiftly leave the number one spot on the "cool careers" list for most people.
they will be reading Slashdot. It's the only medicine for 30 months without sex.
Just send a married couple, two gays, two lesbians, the Pope and Darl McBride on the mission.
Since no one loves Darl, and the Pope loves everyone but does not have sex, relationships are stable.
I'm still trying to figure out what people mean by 'social skills' here.
In a mission to Mars, for example, which would take up to 30 months, sexual conflict or infidelity could lead to a 'breakdown in crew functioning'.
30 months??? Who the heck can function properly without sex for 30 months?
I am offering my services to NASA. As a true geek (obvious by reading Slashdot at 8:30Z) I would stick to the pure sciences of the mission and clearly state now that I not interested in sex by any means. Who needs sex when you have zero gravity anywho!
Yes! I listen to NYC Speedcore and do math at 3AM. I suggest you try it too.
This sounds prelude to state sponsored wacking off. Does NASA provide the pron? I'm waiting for that next announcement with them saying they do support flogging the dolphin.
30 months? Nothing the slashdot crowd ain't used to, then
The indiscriminate use of vulgar language is the linguistic crutch of the inarticulate motherfucker
NASA expects people to go without sex for 30 months? I suppose it's possible, but from everything I know about people, it seems improbable. What if two astronauts get married while they're on the mission, is it okay then? GOD SAID IT'S OKAY FOR ME TO SQUIRT LIQUID INTO YOU
Ensure that every member is a complete slut.
At least you'd have privacy for the moment of climax. In space, no one can hear you scream...
How can I tactfully ask this?
nevermind, I'll be point blank...
So are you allowed to jerk off?
Sick I know, but imagine this stuff floating around in zero G.
Forget I said that...better *ban* this activity also.
*sigh* There go my dreams of Mars.
Hey baby, want to join the 238,857-mile-high club?
no one can hear you go "uuuuuunnnnngggggghhhhh".
They'd be killing all their birds with one stone, for pete's sake. Huge media coverage, lucrative advertising sponsorships... man NASA would be overfunded and popular again for the first time since the 60's. C'mon NASA, give America what it really wants!
They could call it "Pigs in Space" or wait.. yeah that one was taken. Too bad it's a classic.
"Vote 'em off the shuttle!"
[I have no name!:/]# _
I'd be humping everything in sight by then.
"Jesus, Jeff, have you ever noticed how supply the mass spectrometer sample port looks? Grab me some of that lithium grease. You know four weeks of getting off with the rubber folds of the remote arm manipulator have me really chaffed."
NASA said no sex with fellow crew members, so i guess they'll be flying about in the hope that some UFO comes find them to give a good old probing!
You're forgetting the pilot and first officer of Serenity.
(You know, that blonde geeky guy and the hot chick from Cleopatra 2525.)
They're married and get it on regularly (it seems), but the only conflict that I've seen them have is that he sometimes gets jealous of the relationship between his wife and the captain, and she wants a kid but he doesn't.
Also, Serenity is a small ship with a small crew, and no holodeck, replicators, or transporters.
All in all, Firefly seems to be a much closer match to what an actual Mars mission would be like, in terms of technology and the size of the ship and crew, than the various Star Trek scenarios.
Well, except for the artificial gravity.
And the hooker.
Those who sacrifice security to condemn liberty deserve to repeat history or something. - Benjamin Santayana
Re-entry.
Mother, do you think they'll like this sig?
Why not just send a bunch of eunuchs? They can even bring along their own operating system.
OLPC Australia
if I were married to your wife, I would recommend it. (just had to be said :) ).
60 months with out sex.
It's called grad school. You don't have sleep either. I think that most of the scientists aboard such space missions are quite used to not getting laid, and the adaptation to life without sleep is probably beneficial in space as well.
is FORBIDDEN space sex
That is the worst possible solution. Sooner or later all crews' menstural cycles will match. Imagine mission control tyring to communicate with the spaceship, full of sensitive and somewhy enraged women with a 20 minutes transmission delay.
General "Buck" Turgidson: Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?
Dr. Strangelove: Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature. Ambassador de Sadesky: I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.
"Sex and romantic entanglements among astronauts could derail missions to Mars and should therefore be studied by NASA, warns a top-level panel of US researchers."
So in reality we've got a top-level panel of US researches who are tantalizingly close to achieving the ultimate Holy Grail - pursuing workplace sex, romantic entanglements and porn in the name of "research".
Godspeed lads, godspeed.
Ah, yes, it just wouldn't be a proper Slashdot thread with the totally inane and unnecessary Bush bashing just to (try to) prove to the rest of the /. community that you're politically astute, would it?
It still isn't a proper Slashdot thread. It's missing a pointless computers/cars comparison.
No sig
Call me old-fashioned (at 30), but... this is a joke, right? Space mission != sex camp.
Quiet you! You'll ruin our plans! How else do you expect hopeful astronaut nerds to get laid we more than one woman in a years time!
"I am the king of the Romans, and am superior to rules of grammar!"
-Sigismund, Holy Roman Emperor (1368-1437)
That's the whole point of this discussion... whether bush bashing in space is necessary or not.
Thank you, I'll be here the rest of the day. Make sure to tip your waitress.
>I think a device would be needed here [for] raw material capture and containment
What, no kleenex on board?
Yeah, I can picture it now. NASA spends millions studying the problem and comes up with a 'device' to ensure the containment of seminal emissions and develops the thing at a cost of millions more.
The russians just jack off into kleenex like everyone else.
There is much cruelty in the universe, John.
Yeah, we seem to have the tour map.