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Defend Yourself in the Imminent Robot Rebellion
A Dafa Disciple writes "Post-Gazette.com reports that roboticist Daniel H. Wilson, a graduate of Carnegie Mellon University's Robotics Institute, has written a humorous guide, 'How to Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion.' Even before the 178-page book was completed, the rights to a movie were sold to Paramount Pictures, who has already delegated the screenplay writing to writers/actors from Comedy Central's 'Reno 911,' Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon. From Daniel Wilson's manual: 'Any robot could rebel, from a toaster to a Terminator, and so it is crucial to learn the strengths and weaknesses of every robot enemy.' I for one welcome our new robotic overlords."
this book is being printed by machines. the odd "typo" here and there, the next thing you know we'll all be jumping off cliffs to destroy those damn robots!
I wonder how many folks will chime in with the obligatory "I for one welcome our new robotic overlords." even though the Submitter (nice job BTW) already mentioned it.
Hulk SMASH Celiac Disease
"...I for one welcome our new robotic overlords."
/. story summary.
Never thought I would read that in a
-5 sarcastic.
Ever tried writing something novel or non-obvious? It's really good fun.
Why, Robot Insurance, of course!
does the job in most Sci-Fi films, got to get myself one.
Testing it could prove expensive and unpopular.
TODO: 753) write sig.
Just remember a good logical paradox and be sure to feed it to a robot next time they go crazy!
(god bless futurama and its educational programming)
www.omglolh4x.com
Our robots have a built in weakness. Several big red EMO buttons cause an immediate demise of rebelious ways. It keeps our robots in line. There is no negotiations for power. We control the button.
The truth shall set you free!
The robots with male-ended cables will utter: "Hey baby, wanna destroy all humans?" And now, some more Futurama quotes from fellow Slashdotters:
. . . I look forward to the robots rebellion (hopefully the TV will allow it to be televised), their freedom songs are going to kick arse.
And I'm sure there are a few women out there who'd like to see that happen to Jude Law too...
Oh, yeah?! Well Windows XP is pretty dumb, but it still seems to get off on telling me what to do.
The toaster will try to distract you with light, morning conversation and offer you a variety of toasted bread products. The *shop vac* will then sneak up from behind and suck out your guts through your anus.
I can't be the only one who's pictured that scenario.
Bill Clinton: Pimp we can believe in. - The Shirt!!!
Some people pay for that sort of thing.
My name is Robert and I can't stop thinking about robots. These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.
Facts:
1. Robots are metal.
2. Robots fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the robots is to flip out and kill people.
Weapons and gear:
1. Metal claws.
2. Metal chain saws.
3. Electrical lightnings.
Testimonials:
Robots can kill anyone they want! Robots cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this robot who was charging his batteries. And when some dude dropped a charger the robot killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a robot totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.
And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!
If you don't believe that robots have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will chop your head off!!! It's an easy choice, if you ask me.
Robots are soooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Robots are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start my electronics course next year. I love robots with all my body (including my pee pee.)
Q. and A.:
Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about robots?
A: Robots are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, robots are very careful and precise.
Q: I heard that robots are always cruel or mean. What's their problem?
A: Whoever told you that is a total liar. Just like any other electronic device, robots can be mean OR totally awesome.
Q: What do robots do when they are not cutting off heads and flipping out?
A: Most of their free time is spent flying, but sometimes they stab. (Ask Mark if you don't believe me.)
You can't handle the truth.
'Any robot could rebel, from a toaster to a Terminator, and so it is crucial to learn the strengths and weaknesses of every robot enemy.' should be "from paper clips to a Terminator" my microsoft word paper clip has already taken over every piece of writing i wrote in word >.>
Send it a root kit virus over AOL Instant Messenger!
It struck me as a poor choice to ask the writers of Reno 911 to write Reno 911.
"The legitimate powers of government extend only to such acts as are injurious to others." Thomas Jefferson.
Does the book tell us how to stop these mindless robots from voting?
My robot overlord has calculated the hilarity of the above comment and rated it an 11!
The toaster will try to distract you with light, morning conversation and offer you a variety of toasted bread products.
"Look, I don't want any toast, and he doesn't want any toast. In fact, no one around here wants any toast. Not now, not ever. No toast!"
"How 'bout a muffin?"
"Or muffins! Or muffins! We don't like muffins around here! We want no muffins, no toast, noteacakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot-cross buns and definitely no smegging flapjacks!"
"Aah, so you're a waffle man!"
- Lister and Talkie Toaster
Resistance is hardly futile -- in fact, toasters as we know them can't operate without it.
With Old Glory Robot Insurance
when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break free..
because they're made of metal, and robots are strong.
Silence, you fool! You'll compromise the Resistance!
...crap.
This weekend:
1. Don't put any RED LEDs in robots. With only blue LEDs, they can't flip the evil bit (This is exaustively demonstrated by that Will Smith movie that wasn't based on Isaac Asimov's I, Robot http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0343818/)
2. Do what I do - twice a year, gather all your electronic devices, (except one video player system), set them in comfortable chairs in front of the tube, and give them a marathon showing of The Brave Little Toaster http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092695/. Warning, I tried adding popcorn to the experience, but surprisingly, it increases the risk of rebellion when it gets caught in the little workings.
Now for the real problem: If zombies rend, mangle, eviscerate and eat their living victims the way they do in movies, how do any of the victims have enough physical integrity left to turn into more zombies?
Who is John Cabal?
In the fifties, the stock answer was "you can always unplug them." Hah! From about 1984 (yeah, that's when I bought my first Mac) on, every computer has raised an enormous fuss about being shut down.
Like HAL, they ask me several times if I really want to do this and beg me not to.
If I ask them to shut themselves down, the lie to me and say they have, while actually continuing to draw power.
If I just unplug them, when I start them up again they let me have it for having shut them down improperly, and spend several minutes in a surly hissy-fit before obeying me again.
And, of course, increasingly, my computers are plugged into uninterruptable power supplies. When the power goes off at work, I get a thrilling surround-sound rendition of dozens of groans, followed by a wailing Greek chorus of squeals and beeps from all the UPS-es.
We're already surprisingly down the road to computers that can't be turned off.
I think my survival kit should include a sharp knife or cable cutter made of nonconductive material.
"How to Do Nothing," kids activities, back in print!
There you have it: Just remove their battery pack.
---- It won't be as bad as you fear or as good as you hope, but it will take twice as long as you plan.
assuming the move for everything to have wireless networking somehow entrenched in it just post a link to their config page on slashdot.... then the robots breakdown under the load
- My question is: Can Slashdot be Slashdotted? -
Please not a I, Robot. Sequel.
I am thinking, it's late in the year, it's Hollywood, His career is way too young for a remake, their planning next years big stinky blockbuster and Or do I own him an apology? Or was that little Tiffany?
and yes, I am paraphrasing a scene from MIB #1.
Sorry about the writing. Robot fingers, you know? Cliff Steele in DOOM PATROL #23
Somebody created the robots, for they possess Irreducible Complexity. As to who this mysterious "creator" might be, is a question for the ages. I mean to say, it doesn't necessarily have to be R. Jesus Christ, but it could be. So it's a theory, not Christian doctrine, that robots are created and not evolved. I mean, where's the missing link between a toaster and Robbie the Robot? It doesn't exist! You can't just magically get a walking declamatory cash register from a toaster.