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Novell to Release 20% of Their Employees?

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the should-have-worked-for-the-oil-company dept.

sicariusdracus writes to tell us that Ron Hovsepian, the new president and COO of Novell may have his hands full in the near future. Ron has been tasked with getting the troubled business back on track which many have speculated could result in more than 20% of the 5,800 man workforce getting a pink slip (although Hovsepian suggests that may be an over exaggeration). Part of the restructuring will be announced with Novell's fourth-quarter financial results.

16 of 206 comments (clear)

  1. Act I by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Smithers: Mr. Hovsepian there's some solicitors at your door to see you.
    Hovsepian: Release the employees.

  2. fly my prettys, fly by hector_uk · · Score: 3, Funny

    i just got a mental picture of evil novel monkeys with wings being released......

  3. Release? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    It makes it sound like they're in prison!

  4. released by specialkp · · Score: 5, Funny

    I sure hope they're released under the GPL... It's good to see companies like this releasing human resources though. I'm going to download some today! Anyone got a torrent?

  5. release... oh good, finally released... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Wait a minute, are you saying we're FIRED?

    I have such a hard time with this Newspeak.

    1. Re:release... oh good, finally released... by idlake · · Score: 4, Funny

      Actuall, we programmers try to think of it as "allocation", "freeing", and "releasing". So, no, they haven't been "fired", they have been "freed".

    2. Re:release... oh good, finally released... by Otter · · Score: 4, Funny

      I suppose it beats working at Sun and getting "garbage collected"...

      --
      What I'm listening to now on Pandora...
    3. Re:release... oh good, finally released... by TheSpoom · · Score: 3, Funny

      I've always thought that when I own a business, I'm going to have a plank out the second floor window into a dumpster for firing people. I'd use a sword and have pirate music and everything.

      That, and an extremely good legal team.

      --
      It's better to vote for what you want and not get it than to vote for what you don't want and get it.
      - E. Debs
  6. Released... by ch-chuck · · Score: 5, Funny

    Lets just say they've been "open sourced". 1160 people liberated, people want to be free.

    But not me, I'm expensive.

    --
    try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
  7. Re:"Over exaggeration"? by bcmm · · Score: 2, Funny

    In this context, it doesn't mean "not very". It's like saying "Windows 3.1 isn't really an OS". Maybe it only makes sense in en_GB. I don't know.

    --
    # cat /dev/mem | strings | grep -i llama
    Damn, my RAM is full of llamas.
  8. Re:WHAT ABOUT MIGUEL AND NAT by geomon · · Score: 1, Funny

    MIGUEL and NAT are the only two main Novell engineers.

    Just ask them! They'll tell you.

    --
    "Rocky Rococo, at your cervix!"
  9. So It Is True! by Comatose51 · · Score: 4, Funny
    20% of the 5,800 man workforce getting a pink slip

    So it is true! There really are no women in IT!

    I kid, I kid.

    --
    EvilCON - Made Famous by /.
  10. Simpsons Quote by kai.chan · · Score: 2, Funny

    Burns to Homer: You can considered yourself DOWNSIZED.
    Homer : What does that mean??
    Smithers: I think it means you're dismissed, Homer.
    Homer: Oh, good! Phew! Can I go back to work now?

  11. Re:Stocks? by tonyr60 · · Score: 4, Funny

    SGI's are even cheaper....

  12. Not true, not true! by mister_llah · · Score: 2, Funny

    It's just that Novell wants to cut down on the number of long bearded, frighteningly overweight men in IT... and increase the ratio of long bearded, frighteningly overweight women in IT... :D

    ===

    Stereotypes are fun!

    --
    MoM++ - A Classic Expanded - [Master of Magic 1.5]
    http://mompp.sourceforge.net/
  13. They're object oriented by vadim_t · · Score: 4, Funny

    foreach NovellWorker Worker in CurrentlyHired {
            if( Worker.TooOld || Worker.EarnsTooMuch || Worker.HatedByBobInAccounting ) {
                  Worker.Release();
                  Worker.Dispose();
            }
    }