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Aluminum Foil Hats Will Not Stop "Them"

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the time-to-switch-to-a-poly-carbon-blend dept.

Otter writes "A study at MIT has found that aluminum foil headwear ("Among a fringe community of paranoids..the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals") actually amplifies certain frequency bands allocated to the US government, as well as a mobile phone range, and is largely ineffective through the rest of the radio spectrum. But we can we trust the study, or are They controlling the researchers?"

49 of 433 comments (clear)

  1. Now I'm scared by Psionicist · · Score: 4, Funny

    Nothing for you to see here. Please move along.

    That was highly appropriate.

    1. Re:Now I'm scared by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      All you have to do is put $sys$ on the tin foil hat and you become invisible!

    2. Re:Now I'm scared by uncoveror · · Score: 4, Insightful

      People will refer to aluminum foil as tin foil, but they are not the same. Make sure you get the real McCoy. The Uncoveror reported thisquite some time ago. Tin foil hats work. Aluminum foil hats do not.

      --
      The Uncoveror: It's the real news.
    3. Re:Now I'm scared by StalinsNotDead · · Score: 5, Funny

      That's really admirable of the Uncoverer--advising the borderline retarded to take apart their TVs. It's easy enough to fry yourself messing with a TV if you *do* know what you're doing.

      Giving advice likely to kill the stupid is called passive eugenics.

      --
      Thanks to the internet, we can now all die alone together! -SomeWoman
    4. Re:Now I'm scared by Ced_Ex · · Score: 5, Funny

      Tin foil hats work. Aluminum foil hats do not.

      I'm not even going to get into this debate. I've just upgraded to a lead helmet!

      It is rather cumbersome, but as a bonus to blocking everything, I've got a strong neck now.

      --
      Live forever, or die trying.
    5. Re:Now I'm scared by Deadstick · · Score: 4, Interesting
      There was a professor at Georgia Tech when I was there (1958-62) who had no use for either one. He had been a highly-regarded EE prof in the Thirties, then cracked up under the stress of pumping out engineers in World War II and spent some time in a mental hospital.

      In the course of his confinement he was frightened by a bat, and decided that his condition was caused by a deadly brain-rotting radiation emitted by bats.

      He was never able to teach EE again, but the school took him back in the Industrial Management department. He always wore a derby hat lined with foil -- but no crummy tin or aluminum for him. He insisted on using lead foil, the only quality material for such a purpose. But it didn't stop there: the bat rays tended to build up potentially lethal static charges on the foil, so it had to be grounded. His hat was connected by an alligator clip to wires sewn into his clothing and ultimately to a nail in his shoe.

      He was known, naturally, as Batman and we treated him with the kind of casual cruelty you'd expect of undergraduates...we all thought he was unique and it wasn't until the Internet came along that I learned how common the foil-hat thing is. Apparently it's a symptom of paranoid schizophrenia -- a particularly sad condition in which the victim knows perfectly well he's screwed up and is powerless to do anything about it.

      rj

    6. Re:Now I'm scared by KylePflug · · Score: 4, Informative

      Nobody. Hence the tinfoil hats. Remember?

  2. amplified? by way2trivial · · Score: 4, Funny

    out of focus can be just the same as blocked for purposes of radio wave transmission.

    two much gain means a lot of signal noise.

    besides, I wear a lead skull cap myself, keep my hair shaved so that I can be in constant contact with the metal of the cap..

    --
    every day http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
    1. Re:amplified? by AKAImBatman · · Score: 5, Funny

      besides, I wear a lead skull cap myself, keep my hair shaved so that I can be in constant contact with the metal of the cap.. ...and my cell phone reception has never been so good!

      --
      Javascript + Nintendo DSi = DSiCade
    2. Re:amplified? by Frumious+Wombat · · Score: 5, Funny

      You know, a lead cap doesn't really get good enough contact with your skin unless you smear some mercury around underneath it first....

      --
      the more accurate the calculations became, the more the concepts tended to vanish into thin air. R. S. Mulliken
    3. Re:amplified? by FuzzyDaddy · · Score: 4, Interesting
      RF signals are not imaged - all the data is encoded in the time variation of the signal. Hence, focus is not relevant. Increased gain does NOT mean increased noise - which is why having a big satelite dishes improves reception.

      And I can't believe I just weighed in with a serious response on this article. Time for more coffee.

      --
      It's not wasting time, I'm educating myself.
  3. They are behind this by Jupix · · Score: 5, Funny

    I knew it all along. They WANTED us to wear foil hats to amplify their spy rays.

    1. Re:They are behind this by MarkGriz · · Score: 5, Funny

      "This dilemma is going to give me an aneurysm!"

      Maybe that's what THEY really want after all.

      --
      Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
    2. Re:They are behind this by MarkGriz · · Score: 3, Funny

      "No no no... aluminium is NOT the right material, just ask this guy : click. The right material is clearly 3M's "Velostat"."

      Odd... couldn't find a "BUY ONE NOW" button, and didn't see any Google Ads.

      Damn, that guy *really is* crazy.

      --
      Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
    3. Re:They are behind this by Ubergrendle · · Score: 4, Funny

      Maybe that's what THEY really want after all.

      No, that's what they WANT to you think that they're thinking about your attempts to outthink their doublethink.

      I think...

      --
      John Maynard Keynes: "When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do?"
  4. An interesting thing by 2.7182 · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Certain psychotic people seem to focus on the aluminum hat / radio waves are controlling me thing. It is quite universal. What is it that makes it a common theme ?

    1. Re:An interesting thing by TheMeuge · · Score: 5, Interesting

      When I was doing my psychiatry rotation they explained that paranoia is usually relative to the cultural environment in which the person was brought up. For people who grew up in cities, the "government conspiracy" paranoia is most common. For those who were brought up in rural areas, the "aliens" conspiracy is most widespread. And obviously for those who were brought up religiosly, "demonic possession" is the price element of paranoia. Obviously most real cases are mixes of these, but it is easy to see that people get their paranoid ideations from the fears that are most prevalent in their environment.

    2. Re:An interesting thing by Hinhule · · Score: 5, Funny

      Obviously most real cases are mixes of these

      So, most real cases are governments controlled by demonic aliens? Now I'm scared!

    3. Re:An interesting thing by SamHill · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Different manifestations pop up depending on the milieu: today it's radio signals from government controlled satellites, but in the late 1940's Shaver's tales of "Dero rays" being emitted by a race of evil subterranean dwellers proved a popular framework for the delusion.

      And before that (in 1796), there was James Tilly Matthews's Air Loom, a "pneumatic machine" that could manipulate the ether to influence its victims. See The Air Loom Gang: The Strange and True Story of James Tilly Matthews and His Visionary Madness by Mike Jay for more details.

      In addition to insights into one of the earliest documented manifestations of paranoid delusion, the book has lots of juicy details about mental health facilities in the late-eighteenth/early-nineteenth centuries, the French Revolution, Mesmerism, and lots more. A really interesting book.

  5. Duh... by ferrellcat · · Score: 5, Funny

    It has to be TIN foil.

    1. Re:Duh... by B3ryllium · · Score: 3, Funny

      See, *that's* the conspiracy. THEY have phased out Tin Foil and replaced it with Aluminum Foil for its amplification properties. It's the foodwrapping/military complex, headed up by GLAD.

      Geriatric Leotard-wearing Alien Drones.

  6. This is the kind of info I come to Slashdot for! by mdman · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Now, this is the type of information we all come to slashdot for.....

  7. It's a trick! by TheRon6 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Lies! All lies! THEY are trying to trick you into taking it off! And it's not paranoia if everyone really is out to get you!

    --
    Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
    1. Re:It's a trick! by Surt · · Score: 4, Informative

      No, no, it is still paranoia:

      http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/paranoia
      (assuming you can trust merriam webster):

      Note definition 1:
      1. The belief that everyone is out to get you.

      Note that it doesn't specify being right or wrong. If you believe everyone is out to get you, then you are paranoid, even if they really are out to get you.

      --
      "Who is the Journal of Quantum Physics going to believe?" --Stephen Hawking
  8. Yes! by robpoe · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yesss!!! But .. uuh .. did they paint their hats an off shade of GREEN??!?!

    Then the signals think that I'm a tree .. and.. and .. bounce off of me..

    Kinda like my WiFi connection..

    --
    = Grow a brain...
  9. We already knew that Al foil was insufficient by ENOENT · · Score: 4, Funny

    That's why we need to protect our precious bodily fluids.

    --
    That's "Mr. Soulless Automaton" to you, Bub.
  10. I'm not sure what disappoints me more by indros13 · · Score: 4, Funny
    ...that MIT spent time and money actually researching this or that my tinfoil hat collection is now verifiably useless.


    -John

    --
    Under capitalism man exploits man. Under communism it's the other way around.
  11. Shiny side! by FortKnox · · Score: 4, Funny

    Everyone knows that you need to put the shiny side on the outside to reflect the signals. Obviously, this guy put the dull side out and it absorbed the signal...

    --
    Good quote, too many chars. Seriously, the slashdot 120 char limit sucks!
  12. Tin vs. Aluminum by jtwronski · · Score: 5, Funny

    Great, vi vs. emaacs wasn't enough. Bring on the *foil-hat zealotry!

  13. That wasn't the point? by NitsujTPU · · Score: 3, Funny

    I thought that the whole point of the exercise was to submit to control.

    You really should try it. It's quite liberating to submit to anothers control.

    Don't you feel better whenever you hit the 'Submit' button on Slashdot?

    SUBMIT DAMN YOU! I TOLD YOU TO SUBMIT!!

  14. No Duh by Wireless+Joe · · Score: 4, Funny

    I posted this the last time aluminum foil hats was brought up.

    Everyone knows that aluminum did not exist before 1992. It was at that time that the Reynolds corporation made a bid to take over the US Government. Reynolds, an alliance between the city of Marina Del Rey and Tom Arnold (look it up, I don't use Google because they track my searches) began producing "anti Illuminati medium" or a-lumin-um by extracting the "conductivity" from steel, a naturally occuring mineral.

    Reynolds knew that the CIA and FBI were using mind control through the "cable networks" to persuade the population to upgrade to HBO, the mouthpiece for the Masonic Order of the Illuminati.

    You all just think you remember aluminum existing before 1992 because you do not wear your beanies, and have been influenced by HBO. Still need proof? Consider these facts:

    1. If you travel outside the US, you will find that no other countries use or have heard of aluminum. (England has something similar called aluminium, which was developed in tandem by Margaret Thatcher's shadow government.)

    2. If you travel to another country and they say that they have aluminum, you have not actually travelled to another country, but are on a HBO-enduced mind control trip.

    3. Aluminum does not get hot in the oven. I've made thousands of fish sticks in the years after 1992, and no matter how badly I burn them, I can always lift them by the corners of the aluminum foil I placed them on.

    1. Re:No Duh by stienman · · Score: 3, Funny

      the Masonic Order of the Illuminati.

      Ah-HAH! That explains all the medications that say, "Do not take if you use any MAOI inhibitors." Obviously there's drugs involved with the radio waves and subliminal messages.

      -Adam

  15. Re:Oh no all these years by RandoX · · Score: 3, Funny

    You're doing it wrong. You have to use thickfoil.

  16. if tin foil won't work by ch-chuck · · Score: 4, Informative

    You need one of these.

    --
    try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
  17. Re:This is the kind of info I come to Slashdot for by rovingeyes · · Score: 4, Funny

    What did you expect? A dating site?

  18. Q: So, then, tinfoil hats help you channel Bush? by Zhe+Mappel · · Score: 5, Funny

    A: Yes. Especially if you shape them like a dunce's cap.

  19. This is actually true - GPS tinfoil hat tests by Animats · · Score: 5, Interesting
    We actually had occasion to use a tinfoil hat when testing the Overbot for the DARPA Grand Challenge. To simulate a loss of GPS signal, we put a tinfoil hat over the GPS antenna.

    Our first hat was a stainless steel mixing bowl. GPS reception continued. We were even able to get WAAS and Omnistar HP lockup with the mixing bowl on top of the antenna.

    An actual tinfoil hat cut off more of GPS, but we could still get "single" GPS signals, although not the corrections for Omnistar.

    So the radiolocation bands really do get through.

  20. Ground your foil hats, you fools! by SysKoll · · Score: 5, Funny
    Ungrounded conductive layers do not properly shield you from radio waves. However, if you ground your aluminium foil hat, the electric field associated with a radio signal is attenuated dramatically.

    Which is why the real paranoid can easily be identified from the chain or copper wire attached to his foil hat that trails behind him.

    Synthetic fabric carpets prevent the grounding effect of the wire, and you'll notice these carpets are standard issue in government building. Coincidence? I think not.

    --

    --
    Mad science! Robots! Underwear! Cute girls! Full comic online! http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/

  21. The real conspiracy... by mabu · · Score: 3, Funny

    ..is who's behind motivating some of America's so-called "greatest minds" to waste their time investigating such pointless pursuits, when there are soft drink machines in dorm buildings, whose current inventory of Mountain Dew is not known.

  22. Alcoa can't wait! by Philip+K+Dickhead · · Score: 3, Informative

    The "tin-foil" hat cliche is designed to predjudice and ridicule any one who doesn't by the mainline story. Go google aboyt COINTELPRO and CIA+"Mighty Wurlitzer" or the real dirt on MK-Ultra or Franklin+Bonacci.

    You'd wish tin-foil did work.

    --
    "Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act." -- George Orwell
    1. Re:Alcoa can't wait! by HAMgeek · · Score: 4, Funny

      all your branewave are belong to us...

      --
      "Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you." --Pericles
  23. Re:This is the kind of info I come to Slashdot for by GungaDan · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe. What are you wearing? ;-)

    --
    Eloi are stupid, throw morlocks at them!
  24. NOOO! Dual shiny sides!! by MacDork · · Score: 4, Funny

    NOOOO! Don't listen to him. He's trying to get you to put the dull side inside the cap so that your brain waves are amplified and easier to detect by the government mind reading machines! You need a two layer TFH with shiny on the inside AND out!!! It keeps the brain waves in and the mind control waves out! Everyone KNOWS that! Everyone knows...

  25. Re:This is the kind of info I come to Slashdot for by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    A tinfoil hat and a smile, baby ;-)

  26. Audiophiles use Gold Foil Hats by George+Tirebuyer · · Score: 5, Funny

    From Monster of course!

  27. How to be safe by ZachPruckowski · · Score: 3, Informative

    Buy some aluminum foil. Take the whole role, and scrunch it into a ball. Said ball will absorb the mind control rays for you. Wear it as a necklace on a plastic string. voila! Fashionable and mind control free accessorization.

  28. Tinfoil hats won't protect you against GWEN towers by Chemkook · · Score: 4, Funny

    http://www.mindcontrolforums.com/gwen-haarp-satell ite-gps-emf-control-grid.htm

  29. New heavier headgear by SteWhite · · Score: 3, Funny

    Damn, tinfoil is no good? Guess I need to switch to my lead lined hat now. And a neck brace.

  30. Anonymous Cowards by lilmouse · · Score: 4, Funny

    We really should be reading all the Anonymous Coward posts in this thread - I mean, really, how much can you trust the tin-hat knowledge of someone who posts using an actual name?

    We should also expect that anything true will get modded down to -1. Change your filters, guys, change your filters!!

    --LWM