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CSI Takes On Grand Theft Auto

Tycoon Guy was one of many to write "Looks like another 20 million viewers will be fed the 'video games promote violence' story tonight. Today's CSI: Miami episode will feature a group of kids who are inspired to go on a city-wide crime spree by a game that looks suspiciously like Grand Theft Auto. From the description: 'Delko witnesses a bank robbery and the CSIs soon discover that the culprits are playing out the action from the videogame 'Urban Hellraisers' on the streets of Miami. As they score points for each crime committed, the CSIs must discover what consists of getting to the next level in the game in order to stop the culprits before they strike again.'"

33 of 595 comments (clear)

  1. Running out of ideas? by El_Muerte_TDS · · Score: 4, Funny

    Will it include a Jack Thompson kind of lawer?

  2. damn this pisses me off! by illtron · · Score: 4, Funny

    Every time I read something like this, it makes me want to carjack someone's Infernus, back up over them with it, then go on a huge hooker shooting spree.

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    1. Re:damn this pisses me off! by IANAAC · · Score: 5, Funny

      and then enjoy a nice cup of coffee.

    2. Re:damn this pisses me off! by illtron · · Score: 4, Funny

      only the hottest coffee will do!

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  3. And now... by daranz · · Score: 5, Funny

    Somebody needs to go start killing people, and say that he was inspired by gruesome scenes in CSI. Right back at them.

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  4. Discovering the secrets of the game? by ArsSineArtificio · · Score: 5, Funny
    As they score points for each crime committed, the CSIs must discover what consists of getting to the next level in the game in order to stop the culprits before they strike again.'"

    Couldn't the CSIs just check the walkthrough?

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  5. That Sounds Great! by jenkin+sear · · Score: 5, Funny

    That sounds like a great episode.

    In fact, I'm going to create a video game where you are a forensic pathologist, and you have to travel around a city trying to track down a gang of teenagers who are acting out scenes inspired by the latest episode of CSI... you must figure out what the crazy wrapup / plot twist will be in order to stop them. I bet the video game would be a hell of a lot more interesting than their show- and probably about equally gory.

    --
    What a strange bird is the pelican, his beak can hold more than his belly can.
  6. What? by vjmurphy · · Score: 2, Funny

    A popular television series is using a plotline based upon bad information to enhance its ratings during sweeps month? Tell me it isn't true. Next thing you know, they won't be throwing their main characters into bikinis and making them kiss!

    --
    Vincent J. Murphy
    Spandex Justice
  7. Must-watch garbage. by TripMaster+Monkey · · Score: 4, Funny


    As they score points for each crime committed, the CSIs must discover what consists of getting to the next level in the game in order to stop the culprits before they strike again.

    Simple...just put a big sign over a warehouse that says 'Pay-n-Spray', fill the warehouse with cops, and wait. ^_^

    Seriously, though, I will be watching this episode tonight, even though I usually avoid CSI: Miami like the plague (I would rather perform an appendectomy on myself with a rusty grapefruit spoon than sit through David Caruso gibbering and capering onscreen for an hour). After all, we have to be familiar withh the propaganda if we're going to fight it effectively, no?

    --
    ____

    ~ |rip/\/\aster /\/\onkey

  8. The burning question must be asked.. by Anonymous+Meoward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Will the episode be sponsored by a producer of hot coffee?

    --
    --- The American Way of Life is not a birthright. Hell, it's not even sustainable.
  9. Re:Eh... so what? by dsginter · · Score: 5, Funny

    Knowing CSI, I doubt that they're going to devote much airtime into exploring the social and moral issues surrounding the debate.

    Knowing CSI, I think that they'll devote more time exploring the intricacies involved in the "reverse algorithmic" required to make that 320x200 security camera zoom in 3000x with perfect clarity.

    If nothing else, CSI is good for scaring criminals into thinking that this kind of technology actually exists.

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    More
  10. Oh, that exlains the RIAA by Abuzar · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...they've been watching too much CSI.

  11. Re:Eh... so what? by HunterZ · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yes, Law & Order did an episode on video game violence last year as well. Who cares? Does anyone really get their political beliefs from TV shows?

    I'm guessing you're not an American.

    (My Fellow Americans: I am American, BTW, so don't get bent out of shape)

    --
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  12. I just hope... by ZeonMan0079 · · Score: 2, Funny
    they make the game's graphics look as advanced as their crime "analysis" software, 3d effects and all.

    Of course, silly me, this is one of them "videogames", so it must look like old PSX and sound like an Atari2600.

  13. Chicken, egg, time warp by Clockwork+Apple · · Score: 2, Funny

    I wonder if the guys doing carjacking,killing,whoring and stealing in the 80s can sue for plagerism?

    Yeah video games invented violence, greed and lawlessness, now can we move on?

    C.

    --
    "Doctor, it's not the voices I hear in MY head, but the voices I hear in YOUR head that really frighten me."
  14. Re:Eh... so what? by DurendalMac · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yeah, I think viewers will start laughing when Jack Thompson shows up in soft focus with a sort of glow and informs the CSI group that violent video games make kids into violent killers. Then he dons his armor and runs out to find the kids and take them down himself. The show ends with Thompson embarking on a quest to take down the video game industry by himself. The show will be banned due to uncontrollable laughter of Monty Python's deadly joke proportions.

  15. In this Episode the CSI:Miami team fail by Dr_LHA · · Score: 5, Funny

    The entire episode is spent using forensic evidence to track down the killer criminals, and the episode ends in a carjacking followed by an almighty car chase involving 20 police cars and the criminals.

    Unfortunately, just before the police are about the catch the crooks, they drive down an alley and pass through a floating police badge, costing $500, and the police promptly forget about them, causing a massive 20 car police pile up followed by period explosions for 5 minutes in which 500 police and innocent bystanders are killed.

    However, the criminals later are found standing aimlessly outside a local hospital after a misguided attempt at a stunt jump landed their car in the river, which was unfortunate as they were unable to swim.

    And life goes on in Vice Cit.... Miami.

  16. Meh by GarfBond · · Score: 2, Funny

    Personally I will love CSI if they have the kids yelling GIVEUSATANK or NOPOLICEPLEASE when I'M HORATIO AND I'M ALWAYS MAD/David Caruso start coming after them. Hey, it'd even set up a crappy cliche line for him to say.

    I don't think the writers will be that awesome though. Tis a shame.

  17. Dialogue by paranode · · Score: 5, Funny
    "Hey what's that in his hand? Can you enhance that so we can read the writing on that note?"

    "Absolutely! I'll use my 3D modeling software to virtually reconstruct the note based on the camera footage and flip it over."

    "I think it's in an envelope, though."

    "No problem, I'll just turn on the thermal imaging X-ray subroutine that comes with the camera footage. It will detect the ink and construct an image for us."

    "Okay but can you hurry up a bit, we have about 60 seconds until some plot event happens that will render the suspect uncatchable."

  18. Video Games Do Inspire Re-enactment by TheRaven64 · · Score: 2, Funny
    Why, just this afternoon I killed a dozen terrorists and then averted an invasion of demon armies by making a quick trip to hell and destroying the majority of their infrastructure. After that, I built a small settlement into a world superpower and proceeded to usher in a new era of peace and enlightenment.

    I bet you just read Slashdot.

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  19. Re:Eh... so what? by paranode · · Score: 4, Funny
    My Fellow Americans: I am American

    God Bless you and the freedom you stand for!

  20. Recursive CSI by CynicalGuy · · Score: 5, Funny

    They should make a CSI episode about a killer who commits crimes based on stuff that he's seen from watching CSI.

  21. Re:With a name... by SatanicPuppy · · Score: 3, Funny

    You remember that old school Doom mod that put Barney in place of the Cacodemon? I think they only did that so people would use the chainsaw more.

    --
    ad logicam Claiming a proposition is false because it was presented as the conclusion of a fallacious argument.
  22. Re:They have all the right. by Flaming+Babies · · Score: 2, Funny
    GTA does not imitate reality, or anywhere near it. You can't go on a shooting spree in downtown LA, drive a few blocks, and then hop out of your car as if nothing happened.
    Of course you can't. You have to drive through the appropriate number of police bribe badges first.
    --
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  23. Re:Eh... so what? by _Sprocket_ · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Dude - you gotta check out this Barny mod for Doom!"
    "OK - let me fire it up. Huh... cool. Barnys to kill left and right. Heh. I like using the shotgun."

    (...boom...boom...sploitch...)

    "Dadddy..."
    "Oh... hi Kiddo. What'cha want?"
    "Daddy... is that Barny...?"
    "..."

  24. Re:I can't speak for anyone else, but . . . by Chubby_C · · Score: 5, Funny
    back in my day we didn't need video games to give us a reason to go on a crime spree...

    we just did it.

    kids these days just don't have the same innovation/imagination/motivation

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  25. Re:Eh... so what? by acwebguy · · Score: 2, Funny

    I disagree, when ever I watch "Barney & Friends", I get urges for murder and heinous crimes, especially to anything pink or resembles a dinosaur.

  26. oh, you mods... by Aero+Leviathan · · Score: 4, Funny

    I find it hilarious that parent post is modded 'Insightful'.

    I can just picture some mod sitting and reading over that post, stroking his beard, saying to himself... 'by jove, that guy's right, Barney DOES make me feel that way!' (*clicks Insightful*) 'Hmm, I'd better go see if my diplomatic immunity papers cover that...'

    --
    ~ Aero
    1. Re:oh, you mods... by killmenow · · Score: 5, Funny

      You must have never seen alt.barney.die.die.die

  27. Re:Eh... so what? by yerM)M · · Score: 2, Funny
    Good one, but the clincher is:

    Ice cream sales and shark attacks cause summer.

  28. In A Nutshell... by dumdeedum · · Score: 2, Funny

    [Camera flies in over Miami, pans past some T&A, settles on a bank, crime happens, screen flashes to post-crime investigation scene]

    SUPPORTING CAST: Blah blah blah VIDEO GAMES blah blah.

    HORATIO: Well now [puts on sunglasses, stares into distance] it looks like the game just turned deadly!

    [roll intro]

    ~ I can't believe it's not science stuff happens ~

    [Horatio locks up criminal]

    HORATIO: Well now [puts on sunglasses, stares into distance] I guess it's game over!

    [roll credits]

  29. Re:Eh... so what? by Vengeance_au · · Score: 2, Funny

    I bow down to your superior logic :-)

    Now, how about some ice cream?

  30. Re:Eh... so what? by GMontag451 · · Score: 2, Funny

    This new learning amazes me! Tell me again how sheep's bladders can be employed to prevent earthquakes.