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How Do You Deal with Depression Around Christmas?
SleepyHappyDoc asks: "Lots of people around the world seem to experience more sadness and depression around the holiday season, than in other times of the year. There could be any number of reasons why this is, but my question is: how do you deal with it? Have you managed to find any coping strategies or activities that make things feel less bleak?"
"James Oliver Huberty" and "SERENITY NOW!"
"Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act." -- George Orwell
1) Run a couple miles (or more if you can) every morning
2) Eat chocolate (add in magnesium food supplements too, if you like)
3) Use a full-white-spectrum lamp
4. Beat your dick like you own it.
First off , if you are suffering from any kind of depression that is seriously affecting your day to day life then see a doctor . There is no point suffering in silence especially around this time of year when it can be amplified by many many things.
.this is caused by a chemical imbalance due to the lack of daylight . A high powered solar lamp can help you here will alleviate many many symptoms . Again see a doctor , if you can not see a doctor due to area or if you are in the USA for example (due to your medical insurance not covering this) then have a look for some local or online support groups .There will be people out there who can advise you on things that really help remove the strain .
...
A depression around winter time in the northern hemisphere can be caused by a few things :
1: Seasonal affective disorder
If you suffer from a condition such as Bipolar affective disorder then chances are you will also suffer from Seasonal affective disorder , just keep taking the Medication and supplement it with some time by a solar lamp (Again see your doctor)
2: past trauma/upseting events/Loss of a loved one etc. : Any upsetting event around this time of year can be amplified due to the fact that most people appear to be having a good time . Feeling alone and miserable at a time when everyone around you is so happy really does tend to make things feel a whole lot worse .
Talk to people about , find a support group , anonymous if you need to if you can then surround yourself with family and friends, but do not suffer in silence . Just accepting the Depression can be catastrophic for your health.There are many people out there who will be more than happy to help.
Your doctor will be able to point you in the right direction , that is what they are there for
3:Mental illness : If you suffer from a mental illness and feel that symptoms are worsening around this time of year then immediately talk to your doctor . Chances are they will supplement your medication or find some other way to help you .
It is important that you speak to someone and do not feel silly about it if you have to go to a doctor . You are not wasting there time and depression can be a serious illness , but there are many many remedies which can really help. Do not suffer in silence.(sorry to repeat myself)
This is by no means professional advice and may not even apply to you , but if you do feel any of it applies to you then see your doctor as soon as you can .
The only things certain in war are Propaganda and Death. You can never be sure which is which though
Call me self medicating but "frop" or its common cousin cannabis seems to control my urges to eat lead.
Year round!Some are naysayers,asserting that it is a depressant itself.Its always worked for me!Its kept me off prescription meds for decades now.Merry Christmas,go light a yule blunt!
*Repent!Quit Your Job!Slack Off!The World Ends Tomorrow and You May Die!
Festivus for the rest of us!
____
~ |rip/\/\aster /\/\onkey
Good point. There is only one way to escape the feeling of sadness, and that is finding other people to spend time with. Even if it doesn't help solve your depression, you are forced to think about other things than your own problems, and that may be a welcome change. So shut down your computer (I know that will be hard for you to do), go downtown or to friends or whatever, and try to have some fun!
-- Cheers!
I take medication during the holidays. Prescribed by myself. Ok I am not a doctor, so I self-medicate with alcohol.
If what you are reading sounds funny, or sarcastic, lame, or stupid
it is because it is supposed to be. just laugh
I have to agree, there was some study that showed that people, mostly extroverts but a few introverts, but those with a strong social network were least likely to be depressed, more and more likely to be content.
If what you are reading sounds funny, or sarcastic, lame, or stupid
it is because it is supposed to be. just laugh
By following the simple advice I heard on the Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.
Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started and never finished."
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning. I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Bristol Cream, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some saltines and a box of chocolates with the rest of my Smirnoff and Xanax.....
You have no idea how freaking good I feel.
Depression is a real illness, a real problem, and one that has been proven over and over. I know. I used to work in treatment and saw it over and over. I even went through it. If you havne't been there, you simply don't know. To be honest, your statement shows you have no clue what is going on with depression, but it also shows so much hostility that it makes me wonder if this topic doesn't touch on a sensitive spot for you. (why else would you make such a strong negative statement?)
Telling a depressed person to "quit feeling sorry for yourself", or to "just deal with it," or to "get over it," or to "get out and do things" does NOT work. I never believed this until I went through it. Depression means emotional pain a person who hasn't been there can't believe or undrestand. It often means physical pain, sleeping many hours a day (for me it was 14 or more!) and a lethargy that is almost unbelievable. You can give a person like that medication, but then they often don't care enough or don't have enough energy to remember to take it regularly. While symptoms vary from person to person, a person with clinical depression is usually literally incapable of doing anything other than laying around and feeling sorry for him/herself. Think of a person so depressed they don't see a chance of life getting better and can't imagine things being good enough that the pain is bearable. They have no reason or motivation to take their meds or to do anything to get better.
That is what clinical depression is like and for most, they simply can't do what you suggest. The only way out is often only to go through it (and not suicide) or meds -- assuming there is someone to make sure meds are taken when needed until the patient is doing well enough to keep up with them or that there is a way for them to make sure they get all the needed meds, even when too tired to care about them.
But the connection does not show that one causes the other.
Depression is an illness, has been proven and has predictable, measureable effects.
Telling people to get out sounds good, but it's just a way of blaming them instead of acknowldeging there is a problem and this often makes them mroe depressed. If the parent poster, and the others in this thread don't believe that, then maybe a little research would help.
I Drink!
Heavily.
np
Dialectician. Archology.
I remember a movie with Ben Affleck: Surviving Christmas
Brain is my second favorite organ.
"sadness and depression"
First, ask yourself if the sadness and depression is realistic. Is your connection with other people far less than is required to meet your needs? People in the U.S. culture often have families in which the members are very disconnected from each other. It's healthy to feel sad about that.
Second, depression is caused by inner conflict. To relieve depression, you must resolve inner conflict. The fake methods of dealing with depression don't work, they just delay the intensity of the problem until later.
This will probably get modded way down, but for me, accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour has given me a peace and comfort that transcends any depression of the Christmas season. Why? Because I now have an eternal perspective on things that I never had before. Even if I live to be very old, my life here is truely very short in the perspective of eternity, and placing my faith in the eternal salvation of Jesus Christ gives me a hope that is far greater than any issue that this life can bring.
No, it's not scientific, but I can say that since accepting Christ, I have experienced very real and tangible peace, hope, and understanding that gets me through every second of every day.
If you hold even the slightest shred of possibility that God could exist, consider taking some time to simply ask God to reveal Himself to you. Don't expect a burning bush, but in your heart, ask Him to help you reveal Himself to you. Worst case, you waste a few minutes of your prescious time. Best case, your eternal destiniy will be sealed.
If you only have mild/seasonal depression, my personal opinion is that chemicals would probably do you more harm than good.
Studies have shown that living a healthy lifestyle decreases your likeliness of getting depressed even if you are naturally prone to depression. It may be a chemical imbalance, but your body can easily be teased into manufacturing more of the chemicals you need to stay mentally balanced. Exercise often, even if you are already within your normal BMI, get plenty of sunlight, keep a normal sleep pattern and force yourself to be more social. My personal experience has been very positive, but of course YMMV, and if your condition worsens or fails to improve SEE A DOCTOR.
I simply drink myself into a stupor and try not to wake up untill the new year is well on its way.
Mine gave me 10mg of Lexapro to take once a day.
It is working fantastically well.
If you only have mild/seasonal depression, my personal opinion is that chemicals would probably do you more harm than good.
Yes. I should have mentioned that, but I was trying to be brief -- and, to be honest, as a human, it is easier for me to talk about what I had and what I had to deal with in patients when I worked in treatment. In those cases, SAD was never an issue, so, to be honest, sometimes I overlook it.
Studies have shown that living a healthy lifestyle decreases your likeliness of getting depressed even if you are naturally prone to depression.
In general I agree, but there are often uncontrollable factors. If you're trying to be healthy, but have an extreme work situation, that can overwhelm all the other points -- and once that "overwhelming" starts, it can be a very rough downward spiral, leading to not caring to exercise or keep a healthy focus.
One point I've heard, but haven't seen tested, is that it can help to get sunlight around either sunrise or sunset so the body's clock will be reset to the current cycle. I know this works for travellers dealing with jet lag, and I've heard it can help depressed people refocus their cycle, but I have yet to see any proof or talk to someone who tried it with depression in mind.
Sleep patterns are important, but can be disrupted easily and if there is any stress or any other trigger, for someone prone to depression, that can create the downward spiral I mentioned.
Personally, for me, the one big thing that made a difference was when I finally got control of my life, which included getting rid of bitchy girlfriends (or even ones that just treated me poorly), and getting out of jobs where I had little input and starting a business where I actually had control over what happened and there was a direct link to my decisions and work and their effects on my life improving. Now I don't even get sick (unless I work to exhaustion) and don't take any medication other than 2-3 aspirins a year.
But it is still easy for me to remember what depression was like -- the lack of energy, the inability to care about anything, the struggle to get out of bed each day, the emotional and physical pain, the sleeping for up to 16 hours a day, and, especially, and worst of all, the idiots who wanted to blame me and thought all I had to do was "just snap out of it."
BTW, thanks for an insightful post -- especially your last 3 words! It is frustrting to see, in a forum where most people are supposedly well educated, so many post by people that want to "blame the victim" and say things like, "Just stop feeling sorry for yourself."
When your mind is in the algorithm, you will have no time to feel depress. Thats why whenever I feel the blues, I start coding like a mad man.
What I find works for me is getting outside more often during the daylight hours... whether a walk, just sitting there, getting lunch, or joining a smoker-friend for their cigarette break, the warm sun beating down (even in sub-freezing weather) seems to help. At the least, try to get some time near a bright window.
Also, making sure at night to have the lights on early seems to help, but then I spend a lot of my time near some home aquaria that have both "plant" and "sunshine" bulbs, so it could be a similar effect to others' recommendations of a sun lamp.
Having a pet or two that's cute & cuddly, or at least doesn't mind the extra affection & attention (like 2 of 3 cats here), also helps when I ust need to feel a warm body and the S.O.'s asleep. (As I type, I need to take constant breaks and/or type 1-handed because I'm not paying enough attention to the "too feral" cat that climbs onto my laptop and curls up begging to be loved)
Develop a new hobby or concentrate on an old one. Be it stamp collecting, programming, walking around mall parking lots with keys in hand trying to get the most cars following you, or whatever, having something that you derive pleasure from that you can fall back on really helps. This year, thanks to some gifts I received, I'm learning all about the world of cigars. And I'm learning some new programming languages. I've even re-interpretted some stuff I'm doing at work to approach what I consider a dead-dull sub-project from a new direction as a related but interesting problem.
What I avoid: things I know make me uncomfortable. I don't like crowds, even "family" crowds (remarried parents post-high school does a LOT to suddenly expand families way past what one is "used" to), so I try to avoid situations where there's a huge group of people without a clearly visible "safe area", be it the car, garage, sunroom, etc.
Drinking excessively. Sure, I made a play on Pinky & the Brain in another post. But alcohol depresses. Drink some to be social or get a little lubed, but stop after a few drinks, especially if you'll be driving later, but even if not. Drinking when depressed (for me, at least) just leads to more depression and more drinking, so I stop early enough to not hit that spiral. Switch to water... folks who are farther gone will likely think you're hard-core, drinking straight vodka.
Being alone. See mention of the pets above. Find a family member or good friend to hang out with. Spend a lot more time and be more affectionate with a loved one. It's really easy, if you start to isolate yourself from everyone, to start spiraling down into a "no one loves me, no one cares about me" cycle.
"The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule." --H.L. Mencken
Those of us with an active hybernation gene are known to want to sleep a lot and be grumpy if disturbed when the days are short, the temperature cold and the light low. Does this mean we are depressed? No, it doesn't. Perhaps it means that some humans experience a metabolism slowing in the Winter.
I suspect the problem is with those humans who expect everyone to be their cheery Summer's best during late December. The metabolism of some people changes as a survival mechanism during Winter, so quit calling it SAD or depression or whatever else: People with real depression have different behaviors.
Perhaps mine might best be called GASP, Grumpy Ass Seasonal Personality. I'll return to normal when the air doesn't smell like diesel and the women are wearing light, pretty dresses. Don't bug me about it or I'll have your 'ead on me platter.
Ciao.
Everything in the Universe sucks: It's the law!
If Christmas makes you depressed, try celebrating Hanukkah.
Most problems at holiday times are the result of strained family relations. Some people are really cut off from the family most of the year and return home, only to be treated like a little kid again to put up with the same stupid jokes, stories and teasing.
We had a couple hang with our family over the holidays, and they had a great time for the first time in years. They both come from families that were broken up by divorce, and normally get put through the guilt ringer.
Conformity is the jailer of freedom and enemy of growth. -JFK
Get Loaded, get laid.
This parrot has ceased to be!
Christmas is a great time of year if you have kids. It gives you something to focus on. Of course you'll never sleep again. :)
For the idiots out there, this is a joke post.
Try to pick something with maximum impact that requires little planning so it can be a spur of the moment thing.
Hold up a bank
Go carjacking
Take a high powered rifle to the top of a water tower
etc etc, I'm sure you'll think of something
Nothing gets the adrenaline rushing quite like spot of high crime. Plus, the early sunsets (northern hemisphere) make getaways a little easier. The exercise is good for you too.
Just remember, wipe all the prints carefully, establish an alibi ahead of time and leave the iPod at home so you can better hear the sirens.
Good luck!
Booze! Lots and lots of booze :)
Made me happy
Slamming doors helps too. And occasionally breaking shit.
I am not your blowing wind, I am the lightning.
Get laid!
During the winter, I find it important to take some good vitamins. B12 is extremely important, as during the winter season we don't get enough sunlight to get what we need. Although such nutrients are added to many of our food products, poor diet during the holidays only does more to add to the problem.
On top of that, if you're a reclusive geek programmer like me, you don't get out enough into the sun anyway. Start your morning with a quick walk, and spend some an hour or so outside during the afternoon. Where I'm living the temperature doesn't get too bad, and I can easily sit outside with my laptop for a little bit.
Depression is an illness, but it's also led to some great discoveries. I've found the best thing to do is focus. Sit down and focus on your work. Drown yourself in it. Of course, if those suicidal thoughts are strong and frequent, get to your doctor and figure something out. Remember it takes about two weeks for most antidepressants to start working, so don't risk waiting until you feel your worst to get some medication.
I'm not a doctor, so don't take my advice as if I am. Get some professional help before you listen to a thing I say.
What the hell's a "gewie?"
I kill myself
You guys are my best friends, I love you man!
I live almost 45 degrees north, so to help compensate for the lack of daylight, I set a couple lights in the house on timers to simulate summer daylight hours. So it's always light out (in the hallway) when I wake up at 6:30am. I assign myself some projects, including some I'll enjoy for their own sake (e.g. write that short story I've been mulling over in my head), and some that I'll enjoy having finished (e.g. clean the kitchen). I drink, but with a strict cap on the quantity.
I've developed some private holiday traditions. I buy myself a Solstice present (new digital camera this year). Every New Year's Eve since I stopped going to parties (which I only enjoyed when my partner was there with me, and he's not any more), I've spent the evening alone with a bottle of wine and some yummy snacks, doing something to "freshen up" my living space (e.g. reorganize my bookshelves, move the furniture around in the living room, relocate the server farm to another room).
http://alternatives.rzero.com/
Which reminds me, I didn't drink enough over the weekend.
I don't. I have a good job, a beautiful family, and this is the time of the year when I get some free time to be with my little boy. We also eat delicious food, and I get to give my kid lots of nice presents, plus a new PC and assorted gadgets for me. Also, my wife gets amazingly "in the mood" this season, so I get laid almos nightly. All in all, Chrismas is wonderful.
Oh, and I'm an insensitive clod, thank you very much.
lower your expectations. I used to get depressed around the holiday season just because I didn't enjoy it as much as my friends and family did. In the last couple of years, I've started treating it as an elaborate social obligation rather than as a fun activity.
As fun activities go, it's not so good. As obligations go, it's not so bad.
Standard disclaimers: I'm talking about mild holiday depression here, not severe depression, and not year-round depression. I've been lucky enough not to have severe depression, and it looks like some bad shit -- if you have it see a doctor or someone more qualified than me, anyway.
I find that we don't have very good outlets for sadness in our society. (Some movies, perhaps?)
Our western holidays are based on celebration (insert rant about capitalism overtaking each holiday and making it into "be happy and buy more") we don't get a sanctioned opportunity to feel remorse or saddness.
Not understanding that sadness is the necessary counterpoint to joy is something that gets lost in a world of "TGIFridays" Holidays.
Clinical depression is one thing, but the right to be sad sometimes, to feel loss or remorse anything other than joy is important to gaining a perspective on being happy.
Ash wednesday is a good christian example as Ramadan is a good Muslim example. I personally get a huge amount of sadness out of my system at the "Temple Burn" which is the day after they burn the man at Burning Man.
Studies have shown (http://www.virginia.edu/topnews/09_16_2004/depres sion.html, http://www.ebsconewsletter.com/sutterhealth/e_arti cle000289498.cfm?x=b11,0,w ,http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2004/08/0408 18085048.htm ) that a combination of talk therapy and medication produce lasting results in chronic depression. If the holiday depression is severe, and seems to start earlier and last longer each year I would recommend seeking help. I have personally gone through this and usually around the holidays (starting at the beginning of November and lasting until a few days after New Year's Day) I am very depressed and have been suicidal (I got to the point a number of times as to where all I had left to do was take the pills or slash my wrists). I started a program that consisted of both medication and therapy (I had chronic depression and some other things so my treatment was longer than people with seasonal depression) and, after a lot of work and help from excellent doctors, I an no longer suffering from depression. It is very important that you get help. It is a disease, many people suffer from it (you are not the only one) and you can be helped. If you chose to enter therapy carefully select your theropist. There are two types that I am aware of: Cognative and Psychodynamic. Without getting into too much detail about the technical differences between the two, stylistically Cognative theropists are your stereo-typical "how does that make you feel" kind of theropist. They tend to maintain a disconnected, anylitical relationship with the patient. They usually have the patient do most of the talking and provide anylitical input. Psychodynamic theropists will connect more with their patients on an emotional level. They will participare more in the coversation (of course, discussing only the patient's issues) and provide more emotional support. The type of theropist you select is, of course, best based on your needs. I would also recommend that the doctor prescribing the medication be different than the person with whom you are receiving theropy. The problems are separate, the emotional issues and the chemical imbalance and, though they can affect eachother, should be delt with separately.
If nothing else, get some help, you are not alone, many many people go through this and you do not have to continue to suffer. Help is available and it does work.
If anyone out there suffering from depression, find help. It will work!
*cough* nerd!
which ,IIRC, last two or more weeks (in which case you need to see a doctor), seasonal blahs come from several sources.
(1) Climate, especially northern latitudes. You may not have seasonal affective disorder, but you might be affected by it.
(2) Diet. If you have any tendency toward metabolic disorder at all, your blood sugar levels are probably haywire.
(3) Stress. For many, getting ready for christmas, and the massive pressure it puts on you to measure up. You're probably trapped with a bunch of people (family) who are going through exactly the same thing as you as well, and so aren't exactly at their best.
My prescription: an hour or more vigorous, outdoor excercise a day, at the height of the day if possible. Hiking or cross country skiing is ideal. It exposes you to sunlight; it helps your body get ahead of all the junk you're stuffing into it; and it takes your mind off of all the ways people "ought" to behave.
If there are existential reasons for your being disappointed with yourself, the above still applies. The brain is an organic system, and is the only thing you have to think your way out of your dead-end life. A general program would be
(1) Improve the organic health of your brain through exercise and nutrition.
(2) Improve the effectivness of your mind through meditation (or prayer if appropriate) and cognitive awareness of negative and self defeating thought patterns (also known as "positive thinking").
(3) Enhance the effectiveness of your brain by forming positive relationships with others (or improving existing ones) and reducing your involvement with negative relationships. We are social animals and our brains do not function properly in social isolalation.
(4) Reorgnize your priorities and commitments so you aren't just reacting passively to life, and you don't spend your time wallowing in self-loathing or pity because you have to much to do, little of which is meaningful to you. Record keeping is very helpful, as is social support from others trying the same thing.
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
That's a bit harsh. I only meant that seeing other people helps you think about something else for a while. If you are really depressed, it will not cure you.
-- Cheers!
Similarly, we need to recognize that we are not dependent on others 'to make us happy' nor are they dependent on us for their happiness. Face it, no one can make you happy and you can't make anyone else happy. People choose to be happy, or they don't; and that's their business.
Realistic expectations can uncomplicate things quite a bit. Those expectations may be about any number of things, people, the weather, or whatever; especially about ourselves. It's unrealistic to expect to always feel good. Experiencing life is a series of ups and downs. The ups we really enjoy, but we learn the value of the ups from the downs.
A 'perfect life' would be maddeningly boring and ultimately valueless. Just look at all the rich and well to do that are chronically depressed! Look at the poor who have almost nothing jet remain optimistic! Part of that revolves around a quirk of brain chemistry, just like we tend not to notice a bad smell if we're around it long enough, the brain begins to ignore certain chemical stimuli after they have been around for long enough.
IMHO the trick it to realize what is being experienced, and savor it for the value that it represents to us, for the opportunity it represents to experience our life to the fullest, but then just let it go. That letting go both prevents obsessive attachment to the experience, but it also enables us to become aware of the next experience and revel in our ability to explore our feelings.
Take a moment to experience a cup of plain unsweetened hot tea. First, smell the dry tea, then you have to focus on heating the water, then steeping the tea. Now smell the wet tea. The smell of the tea is much lighter when dry and very strong when warm and wet from the steeping. All you did was put it in hot water, but the experience has transformed both the tea and you! Pour the tea into a cup and hold it. It warms the hands, and the steamy sent excites the sense of smell. Taste it. In reality, no too sips are quite the same. Each time the chemistry changes slightly in the mouth and on the taste buds. Each time the reaction of the brain changes. The temperature changes as it cools, the flavor reaches a peak of intensity. There is some bitterness, but then after the cup empties, a sweetness, the rebound of the taste buds and the brain, becomes recognizable.
Sometimes we need to be steeped in a little hot water to realize our own emotional state, experience and accept it, and let it go. And when you realize what that experience can be like, what you can get from a simple cup of tea; try sharing it with a friend. Don't be afraid to explore some ideas from other cultures. Eastern religions and philosophies abound with different strategies to appreciate and experience life from other perspectives. Whatever you believe, cultivate your appreciation of it in your daily life. Develop your center. Choose to be yourself.
"Can there be a Klein bottle that is an efficient and effective beer pitcher?"
For six years I spent the Christmas / New Year period on my own, initially I was dreading it but I ended up having the time of my life:
I ate what I wanted when I wanted. One year I tried goose for a change just to be different
I got exactly what I wanted for Christmas as I bought my own presents
I could watch what I wanted on the TV without fights over the remote
There were no fights between relatives, just me and the cat
Obviously this isn't everyone's idea of Christmas, but Christmas on your own isn't as bad as it sounds.
Ed Almos
The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws. - Tacitus, 56-120 A.D.
Well, my family celebrates Christmas, and while I like playing Santa Claus, I've moved well away from the whole religious impact myself. I'm actually investigated conversion to Judaism, so that perhaps colours my vision a bit.
From my experience, most of the issue comes down to expectations of happiness. I have relatives who like to play the 'big happy family' game. They expect everyone to grin and be happy and pretend we all get along on everything. And that, my friends, is really hard when you keep hearing people say stupid things. I have some relatives who will constantly say dumb things and drive me nuts.
The other part that creates stress is the social requirement to spend time with people you would otherwise avoid. Some of them I would have no problem seeing on a short limited basis individually, but not all together in a group (it pushes the meter WAY beyond tolerance levels).
My solutions?
Linux - because it doesn't leave that Steve Ballmer aftertaste.
Minimize your expectations. Christmas is never going to be as exciting for you as an adult as it was when you were a 4-year-old.
Negotiate a truce with your family and friends so that gifts are only bought for small children. (And only spend a little bit even then, so they won't grow up with unreasonable expectations of Holiday Magic either.)
Use some of your time off (if any) to visit family and friends, but use some of it selfishly as well. Write that program, read that book, or take a nap and kill some time on Slashdot.
Don't go bonkers over all the holiday food. Eating bad makes you feel bad physically, and feeling bad physically makes things worse mentally.
Make trips and go to parties only if you want to. If you treat them as an unwanted obligation, they'll feel like an unwanted obligation.
Act reasonably, and then unapologetic about it.
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
Funny aside, if might be worth switching to Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or Soltice, if it gets you away from the unreasonable expectations so many people have for Christmas.
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
I only meant that seeing other people helps you think about something else for a while.
And part of my point is that often does not work. If someone is clinically depressed, they don't have the energy to deal with seeing other people. They barely have the energy to get out of bed and get to work each day. Dealing with other people can seem as huge a challenge as climbing a mountain and often a depressed person simply does not have the energy to face it or even enough energy to care enough to consider it. Depression can be that debilitating.
Down, not across.
I go blast some clay pigeons with a 12ga. (and 20ga.) every Christmas week. =)
Seasonal affective disorder and light therapy has been covered adequately. I'll only add that I don't take medication when something cheaper and safer works, and it does for me.
I believe that the more acute problems people suffer around the holidays is due to the hype (interpersonal as well as commercial). It leads to expectations far greater than the results. Anyone who's experienced that anticipates it, and so it affects them even before the holidays arrive.
"I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid." -- Bishop 341-B
I'd rather be right.
-Clio
Karma: Bad (mostly from not giving a fuck)
Blog: http://clintjcl.wordpress.com
Drugs are not the answer. Psychiatry isn't either! Scientology is the only way to beat depression.
No. Not really.
Religion for nerds. Stuff that really matters
People in the U.S. culture often have families in which the members are very disconnected from each other. It's healthy to feel sad about that.
I don't agrree with that at all. If your life is depressing because you are not near your family, then it is high time you formed a *new* family, closer to where you live.
Of course, by family I mean a tight circle of friends with whom you can socialize and lean on.
Which is all a real "family" is anyway. The idea that just because you share some DNA with someone that you should feel some tight bond with them is ludicrous. I have several friends who I would call on and trust before any member of my family, aside from my parents.
Whoever came up with "blood is thicker than water" did not have any real friends.
Nothing you said opposes what I said. Both can logically exist together.
I'm not strictly disagreeing with what you are saying. There definatly is a kernel of truth here.
The problem, for many people (me included) is that it's a feedback loop (vicious circle). You are depressed, so you can't deal with things, so the internal conflicts get worse, so you get more depressed... etc etc.
Just trying to fix the conflict may not work for all people. (it definatly does for some!) They need to break the cycle first, so it stops getting worse. Meds and such are a very useful way of doing that.
I think what most people don't realise is that most anti-depressants are powerful stimulants, which are very similar to MDMA/XTC. You get a lift from it, and a forced positive outlook for a while. This gives you the energy to break the cycle, and actually make progress dealing with internal conflicts and other problems. Many people can stop the medication after things get better, which is great. Some can't, and I feal for them, but it's better than before, usually.
Ce n'est pas une signature automatique.
sorry, wrong answer
I agree with what you said.
In my comment, I was talking about a REAL fix: Read the Recent Great Books. See the section "Understanding Your Inner Self" I especially recommend The Primal Scream: Primal Therapy: The Cure for Neurosis.
Honest. If you can't manage anythinge else, get out of the house. Depression is an entity to be resisted, not just a feeling. It wants you isolated and alone. It doesn't matter what you do as long as you don't let it beat you by isolating you.
Amateurs discuss tactics. Professionals discuss logistics.
My impression is that the depressant effect of traditional holidays can sometimes be a result of sudden removal of usual distractions. Going through a traditional holiday ritual process, or being without it, can either be welcome, or it can easily concentrate the mind and feelings on awkward ultimate questions. Without the normal distractions, the result can be an unexpected need to tolerate one's own company, maybe even in the middle of a crowd. How to live with self can then with some folks be itself the depressant problem, and when it is, the answer probably has to be so individual a learning process that no formula can cover it.
Happy New Year!
-wb-
Unreasonable expectations?
I expect to have to deal with relatives a bit more than I want. To eat more food than is healthy.
I wish those were unreasonable expectations.
resigned
Go home after work. Pull the blinds. Put on some good music, light some incense and try to center yourself. Boil some water for tea. Visualize yourself seated in a sea of calming light. Make your tea, inhale the steam and try to clear your mind.
Then drop a shot of whiskey into your mug and down it quick. Repeat. You'll be flying high and ready to cause some trouble by midnight. Bars're good for that, so head out and make some new friends.
Oh, and turn that soothing music off. That stuff's for sucks.
IF you can implement a bloody coping strategy, you are not depressed!
I wished people would stop saying "I'm depressed", when they feel down. Depression is a state of mind I wish no one, as it is absolutely debilitating!
You can't get shit done, if you are actually depressed. If you can get yourself out for a walk, you are NOT depressed. If you can make yourself something to eat, you are NOT depressed. If you can't do what you would like to do, bloody get over yourself (if you were depressed, you would now be looking for the nearest gun or knife!)
Smoke a couple of bongs and watch movies, or have a couple of beers with friends or just some people you just met at the pub, that will do to get you over the Christmas days. The hangover will help you get over yourself. If you feel down because it's a holiday season, and you are not in the spirit, this doesn't mean you're depressed, it just means you need to change something.
Also a little bit of introspection around new years to direct my next year.
"Enjoy what you're doing! If it becomes drudgery, you're doing it wrong!" - Jim Butterfield
A: Sad, Bad, Mad
:)
Q: Who are the Strong Brothers?
Not to make light of this discussion or anything... my girlfriend is taking medication for depression. It works mostly, but she's 1000 miles away from her friends and with family she doesn't get along with, so she's having a rough time. She's coming back tomorrow
That's an old solution to the problem, and a very effective one I might add. A helpful distraction.
THE Camels hump is an ugly lump
Which well you may see at the Zoo;
But uglier yet is the hump we get
From having too little to do.
Kiddies and grown-ups too-oo-oo,
If we havent enough to do-oo-oo,
We get the hump
Cameelious hump
The hump that is black and blue!
We climb out of bed with a frouzly head
And a snarly-yarly voice.
We shiver and scowl and we grunt and we growl
At our bath and our boots and our toys;
And there ought to be a corner for me
(And I know there is one for you)
When we get the hump
Cameelious hump
The hump that is black and blue!
The cure for this ill is not to sit still,
Or frowst with a book by the fire;
But to take a large hoe and a shovel also,
And dig till you gently perspire;
And then you will find that the sun and the wind.
And the Djinn of the Garden too,
Have lifted the hump
The horrible hump
The hump that is black and blue!
I get it as well as you-oo-oo
If I havent enough to do-oo-oo
We all get hump
Cameelious hump
Kiddies and grown-ups too!
from How the Camel Got His Hump , Rudyard Kipling
Real Daleks don't climb stairs - they level the building.
My grandfather (who recently passed away) suffered from strong bouts of depression. my father also seems to be a victim. As for myself, sometimes it seems that two many things going wrong can lead to a black hole that is rather difficult to crawl out of. I'm not big on pills in any form, neither the depression medication nor vitamins, etc, because I see it as cuaing possible side effects against my natural body chemistry. That being said, however, I generally beat any depression issues I have by following some various rules
a) You don't need to just know 'why' depression strikes. Sometimes there's not a reason, and sometimes there are damn good reasons to be depressed, upset, or sad. Part of what you need to look at is how long it's been happening, and then it happens.
Many people have already mentioned SAD, which ties depression to the time of year and possibly lack of solar-supplied vitamins, etc. Personally, my life is 'on hold' for various reasons at the moment... which basically means that it's not going anywhere. Any overly large amount of free time allows me to dwell on this too much. To be honest I do think on such things at times when I am busy , but not nearly so much.
It's been my experience with my grandfather that he was generally depressed when he was indoors. When he was out hiking, skiing, or travelling he was generally quite a happy person.
For myself, I'm generally at least content when visiting with friends, tinkering with something electronic, or perhaps playing a new video game of sort. I tend to get down the most when I'm running a bit low on sleep, haven't been eating as well as I should, or overworking myself, skipping lunches etc.
b) Depression isn't just about chemical unbalance, it's about the physical environment around us that creates that imbalance. This ties into (a) of course, but it goes a bit further. Your body is in many ways a complex and misunderstood machine. If you don't grease all the gears right it might not run properly, and the grease required for various people differs.
If you're doing any of the things mentioned at the end of (a) - such as overwork, undersleep, or over/undereating, consider doing something about that first. I've found that by getting outdoors more and doing about 20 minutes a day more exercise (free weights, etc) I've managed to improve how my body works. Improving that seems to have done something that adds a little to the happiness meter.
c) Got something on your mind, talk about it! Bottling is rarely a good thing. Everyone has problems, and while you might not feel comfortable talking to a doctor or shrink, you can always brace the topic in different ways. Some of the most interesting and/or information conversatons I've had have been basically bitching about what bothers me over a few drinks, or listening to what ails my friends.
Again, this is all personal opinion, but pills shouldn't be an initial solution. Try a few changes in lifestyle, treat yourself every now and then (whether it be a cheap electronic toy or a chocolate bar). Sneak something into the budget for yourself once every 1-2 months/paycheques. Overall, try to find the times when you are most depressed, and most happy, and find the common denominator between them.
Second, depression is caused by inner conflict. To relieve depression, you must resolve inner conflict.
What do you do when you can easily identify the inner conflict, but it is physically impossible to resolve?
Question: how do you make your self to go through it, when you in such a depressed state? You probably know you should if you want to get out of it, but as you write They have no reason or motivation to take their meds or to do anything to get better. It is a circle down and I see no way out of that...
No, actually, it's the right answer; it just doesn't feel as good. Your response is emotional.
--
Brought to you by Drool... You're tasting it now!
-Clio
Karma: Bad (mostly from not giving a fuck)
Blog: http://clintjcl.wordpress.com
I try to plan ahead. Places will be closed and people will be busy. I look for who will be around, and places like Denny's that may be open and just try to stay busy. Seems to work for short holiday spells.
Well I didn't mean to suggest that you should act positive to break the loop, just more than you should do something nice specifically for yourself. Sometimes simply putting myself into an overall positive situation adds enough sunshine to an otherwise dark moment to allow me to lift myself above the gloom of depression.
We don't have to worry about what to get each other for Christmas, whether we have spent too much, or the credit card bills (or lack of money in the checking account) after the binge is over. We don't have to stress about going to the mall (and the tons of people shopping), or making sure a gift is shipped on-time from a seller on Ebay or whatnot. After slogging through them for years, we decided last year (after the 2003 holiday season) it just wasn't for us, and we haven't liked it better. Yeah, the holidays still suck in a manner (too much traffic, and too many people out and about while you just want to do some simple thing like grocery shop), but they are much better now than they have ever been.
As for gifts? Why do we need them? We know we each love each other. We give each other gifts for "no reason at all - just because" throughout the year, and for those things we really want, we just buy them when we want them (if it is a really big purchase, we consult each other and decide). This actually works out really well, and we don't bitch to each other over the crap we buy ourselves. Sometimes, we even manage to find and purchase really cool things, things that our SO would likely never think of, and even if they did, they would never find them. Case in point, earlier this year I managed to purchase (very cheap - $100.00!) an Altair 8800 with a ton of S-100 cards from a junkyard I visit. It needs an assload of work to get it cleaned up and working, but I will eventually get to it. This is something I have wanted for a long time, but outside of a museum I have never seen one, and have only seen them sold on Ebay and other auctions, for WELL over $100.00. It was luck shining on me, and not something my wife would likely ever had found (and even if she did, she probably wouldn't buy it, because frankly it looks like a "piece-o-junk").
We are happy with this arrangement, we enjoy our life together, we don't bitch at each other over purchases like many other couples do, and during the holiday season, we are stress free - and not depressed...
Reason is the Path to God - Anon