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A Look at Gaming in 2010

Posted by Zonk on from the want-to-play-more-world-of-warcraft dept.

Joel from Sydney writes "Wired News' Lore Sjöberg has written a tongue-in-cheek look at what the world of gaming will look like in 2010. From the article: 'Nintendo and LucasArts are still locked in competition to bring their aging iconic characters to every genre ever invented. The year 2010 saw the release of Darth Maul's Star Wars Tennis, Mario MMORPG, Clone Trooper Golf, Mario's Dating Sim, Jar-Jar's Dating Sim and Mario Storms the Beach at Normandy. Plus, handheld versions of all those.'"

20 of 55 comments (clear)

  1. hmmm by nomadic · · Score: 3, Informative

    Wasn't that the Brunching Shuttlecocks guy? Didn't know he went over to Wired...

    1. Re:hmmm by Golias · · Score: 2, Informative

      He's been writing stuff, on and off, for Wired for some time now.

      He's also still doing his comics at http://www.lorebrandcomics.com/ and the occasional flash cartoon at http://www.bandwidththeater.com/ (although it's been several months since he's come up with anything there.)

      If you really want to obsess over this obscure web humor icon, he's got a blog of sorts too.
      http://slumbering.lungfish.com/

      --

      Information wants to be anthropomorphized.

  2. 2010 Year of the Apocolypse by Kesch · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...Jar-Jar's Dating Sim...

    I will be having a suicide party Dec 31, 2009. Everyone is welcome.

    --
    If this signature is witty enough, maybe somebody will like me.
    1. Re:2010 Year of the Apocolypse by AuMatar · · Score: 2, Funny

      Meesa gonna screw you.

      --
      I still have more fans than freaks. WTF is wrong with you people?
  3. dnfe by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    *Insert Duke Nukem joke here*

  4. A message for those who dont RTFA: by Gogo0 · · Score: 2, Informative

    Dont start now.

    It was pretty stupid.

    1. Re:A message for those who dont RTFA: by BenjyD · · Score: 2, Funny

      Come on, that article was pretty funny.

      "I'm still limited to shooting, beating or running over hookers? Kill Death Die Hurt Maim let me chop off their fingers one by one while they begged for mercy, their cheap eyeliner merging with their tears and darkening the pools of blood at their feet. Are you sure Mario isn't in this wimpfest?"

  5. My Prediction? by toddhunter · · Score: 3, Insightful

    No game will be released without 2010 in the title. They will all come from EA and cost more than in previous years to help combat piracy.

    1. Re:My Prediction? by iainl · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Don't be silly.

      In 2010 all games will have 2011 in the title. When was the last time you saw EA release a game in the year stated in the title?

      --
      "I Know You Are But What Am I?"
  6. Sounds good by wills4223 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I would absolutely play Mario Storms the Beach at Normandy. It sounds like a laugh; especially if it includes classic Mario music.

  7. Darth Maul tennis by Repton · · Score: 4, Funny

    Darth Maul tennis would be pretty cool. You could have a double-ended raquet, three balls in progress at once, force-pull for the ball, Jedi mind trick on the umpire...

    --
    Repton.
    They say that only an experienced wizard can do the tengu shuffle.
  8. Games in 2010 by cgenman · · Score: 2, Funny

    With the way things are currently going, by 2010 all games will ship in miniature crates.

    --
    The ______ Agenda
  9. 2010 by owlman17 · · Score: 2, Insightful

    2010 isn't too far away, just like 2002 wasn't that too long ago, and things really haven't changed much. I RTFA, but I doubt if things would be really that different. More mods for 2005-2006 releases, more sequels. The source-code for Quake IV would have been released. And ground-breaking title or two will have come out. I do hope Starcraft II comes out though.

    And by 2010, Duke Nukem forever will be coming out of Alpha.

  10. Re:Lore Sjöberg? by softspokenrevolution · · Score: 3, Informative

    Naw, he stopped before he got this gig with Wired. He's been doing stuff at slumbering.lungfish.com, his blog with some Lore Comics and that sort of thing.

  11. Mario MMORPG? by Megane · · Score: 2, Funny
    But still no sign of a Zelda MMORPG anywhere.

    And how about "Grand Theft Auto: Mullah City", where you get to jack a Humvee?

    --
    #naabhaprzrag, #sverubfr-000, #agi-fcbafberq, negvpyr[pynff*=' negvpyr-ary-'] { qvfcynl: abar !vzcbegnag; }
  12. I don't care what anyone else thinks. by justchris · · Score: 3, Insightful

    The phrase 'Star Wars: Adhesive Death Star' sent me into fits of laughter.

    --
    just some guy
    1. Re:I don't care what anyone else thinks. by Kazzahdrane · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Indeed, it seems some people here have forgotten how to laugh. I thought the article was very amusing and the line you mentioned was the one that made me actually laugh out loud :)

    2. Re:I don't care what anyone else thinks. by sethstorm · · Score: 3, Funny

      "That's not a planet, it's a Katamari!"

      --
      Twitter supports and protects racists - by smearing their critics with the "Hate Speech" label.
  13. Let me predict the future by Toxicgonzo · · Score: 3, Insightful

    In 2010, the top ten games of the year will be:

    10. Madden 2010
    9. Super Mario 512
    8. Kingdom Hearts V
    7. Resident Evil 7
    6. Quake 6
    5. Halo 5
    4. Unreal 2010
    3. Metal Gear Solid 6
    2. Final Fantasy XIII
    1. Half-life 3

    ^50 bucks says at least one of those will be on the top ten list

    1. Re:Let me predict the future by maddskillz · · Score: 3, Funny

      It has been pushed back to 2013