A Look at Gaming in 2010

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Posted by Zonk on Thursday January 12, 2006 @12:56PM from the want-to-play-more-world-of-warcraft dept.

Joel from Sydney writes "Wired News' Lore Sjöberg has written a tongue-in-cheek look at what the world of gaming will look like in 2010. From the article: 'Nintendo and LucasArts are still locked in competition to bring their aging iconic characters to every genre ever invented. The year 2010 saw the release of Darth Maul's Star Wars Tennis, Mario MMORPG, Clone Trooper Golf, Mario's Dating Sim, Jar-Jar's Dating Sim and Mario Storms the Beach at Normandy. Plus, handheld versions of all those.'"

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hmmm by nomadic · 2006-01-12 13:03 · Score: 3, Informative

Wasn't that the Brunching Shuttlecocks guy? Didn't know he went over to Wired...
1. Re:hmmm by Golias · 2006-01-13 03:37 · Score: 2, Informative
  
  He's been writing stuff, on and off, for Wired for some time now.
  
  He's also still doing his comics at http://www.lorebrandcomics.com/ and the occasional flash cartoon at http://www.bandwidththeater.com/ (although it's been several months since he's come up with anything there.)
  
  If you really want to obsess over this obscure web humor icon, he's got a blog of sorts too.
  http://slumbering.lungfish.com/
  
  --
  Information wants to be anthropomorphized.
2. Re:hmmm by nomadic · 2006-01-13 18:04 · Score: 1
  
  I really enjoyed the brunching shuttlecocks stuff, but wasn't a fan of the cartoons or the flash stuff there. Guess I'm verbal more than visual.
3. Re:hmmm by Golias · 2006-01-15 07:18 · Score: 1
  
  Then you probably should check out http://www.bookofratings.com/ for your old-school Brunching fix.
  
  --
  Information wants to be anthropomorphized.
4. Re:hmmm by nomadic · 2006-01-16 11:57 · Score: 1
  
  Ahh, cool, thanks for the link. I knew about the book of ratings but I had no idea they actually updated it.
2010 Year of the Apocolypse by Kesch · 2006-01-12 13:05 · Score: 5, Funny

...Jar-Jar's Dating Sim...

I will be having a suicide party Dec 31, 2009. Everyone is welcome.

--
If this signature is witty enough, maybe somebody will like me.
1. Re:2010 Year of the Apocolypse by AuMatar · 2006-01-12 16:33 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Meesa gonna screw you.
  
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  I still have more fans than freaks. WTF is wrong with you people?
Lore Sjöberg? by hambonewilkins · 2006-01-12 13:07 · Score: 1, Offtopic

(I know it is "off topic")
Wait a minute, so I can blame Wired for hiring Lore and, in effect, ending the glorious beauty that was the Brunching Shuttlecocks?
Damn you, gainful employment!

--

God Bless America. Why? Did it sneeze?
1. Re:Lore Sjöberg? by softspokenrevolution · 2006-01-12 15:07 · Score: 3, Informative
  
  Naw, he stopped before he got this gig with Wired. He's been doing stuff at slumbering.lungfish.com, his blog with some Lore Comics and that sort of thing.
2. Re:Lore Sjöberg? by Golias · 2006-01-13 03:46 · Score: 1
  
  Popular speculation is that Brunching ended when he could no longer get along with the Self-Made Critic. It appears that his marriage to an avant-garde Japanese performance artist put a strain on their relationship.
  
  Rumors of a reuinion finally ended when a crazed gunman shot and killed the Self-Made Critic outside his apartment. Some like to point out that this is strangely ironic as the final years of Brunching were peppered with constant "Lore is dead" rumors, which started with a mysterious phone call to a late-night DJ reporting that the Book of Ratings was full of clues that indicated that Lore had been killed in a car crash, and was replaced with an obscure humorist with a knack for creating flash cartoons. However, Lore is the one who lives on to this day.
  
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  Information wants to be anthropomorphized.
dnfe by Anonymous Coward · 2006-01-12 13:08 · Score: 2, Funny

*Insert Duke Nukem joke here*
A message for those who dont RTFA: by Gogo0 · 2006-01-12 13:12 · Score: 2, Informative

Dont start now.

It was pretty stupid.
1. Re:A message for those who dont RTFA: by QuantumG · 2006-01-12 13:42 · Score: 1
  
  Unlike most things posted with "The Foot" I thought this was actually funny.
  
  --
  How we know is more important than what we know.
2. Re:A message for those who dont RTFA: by BenjyD · 2006-01-12 22:02 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Come on, that article was pretty funny.
  
  "I'm still limited to shooting, beating or running over hookers? Kill Death Die Hurt Maim let me chop off their fingers one by one while they begged for mercy, their cheap eyeliner merging with their tears and darkening the pools of blood at their feet. Are you sure Mario isn't in this wimpfest?"
3. Re:A message for those who dont RTFA: by slthytove · 2006-01-13 01:12 · Score: 1
  
  I found it to be one of the funniest "foot" articles I've read on Slashdot... wonderful satirical commentary on the current "hot" issues in gaming, and some of the more annoying ones.
My Prediction? by toddhunter · 2006-01-12 13:34 · Score: 3, Insightful

No game will be released without 2010 in the title. They will all come from EA and cost more than in previous years to help combat piracy.
1. Re:My Prediction? by iainl · 2006-01-12 21:42 · Score: 2, Interesting
  
  Don't be silly.
  
  In 2010 all games will have 2011 in the title. When was the last time you saw EA release a game in the year stated in the title?
  
  --
  "I Know You Are But What Am I?"
Sounds good by wills4223 · 2006-01-12 13:42 · Score: 5, Funny

I would absolutely play Mario Storms the Beach at Normandy. It sounds like a laugh; especially if it includes classic Mario music.
1. Re:Sounds good by Dr.+Eggman · 2006-01-12 15:03 · Score: 1
  
  I don't know about Normandy, maybe the Italian Campaign...
  
  Take-a that, you yankee scum-a!
  
  --
  Demented But Determined.
2. Re:Sounds good by Guppy06 · 2006-01-12 23:24 · Score: 1
  
  A game from a Japanese publisher focusing on an Italian character... I'm not so sure Mario would be playing the Normandy invasion on the winning side.
3. Re:Sounds good by Chris+Mattern · 2006-01-13 00:40 · Score: 1
  
  As additional bonus, you get to play both sides, since you switch over to the Allies halfway though...
  
  Chris Mattern
4. Re:Sounds good by elrous0 · 2006-01-13 07:34 · Score: 1
  
  Mario Storms the Beach at Normandy. It sounds like a laugh
  It'll be pretty funny until the Germans realize that he isn't armed.
  -Eric
  
  --
  SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
I second that. by thepotoo · 2006-01-12 13:43 · Score: 1

'nuff said.

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Obligatory Soundbite Catchphrase
A message for those who didn't read the parent: by Aranth+Brainfire · 2006-01-12 14:37 · Score: 1

Don't, it was pointless and empty of reason.

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"Quoting yourself is stupid." -Me
1. Re:A message for those who didn't read the parent: by Joehonkie · 2006-01-13 03:33 · Score: 1
  
  So you need "reason" not to like something now? It was a crappy and humorless article.
Darth Maul tennis by Repton · 2006-01-12 14:39 · Score: 4, Funny

Darth Maul tennis would be pretty cool. You could have a double-ended raquet, three balls in progress at once, force-pull for the ball, Jedi mind trick on the umpire...

--
Repton.
They say that only an experienced wizard can do the tengu shuffle.
Games in 2010 by cgenman · 2006-01-12 14:50 · Score: 2, Funny

With the way things are currently going, by 2010 all games will ship in miniature crates.

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The ______ Agenda
2010 by owlman17 · 2006-01-12 15:04 · Score: 2, Insightful

2010 isn't too far away, just like 2002 wasn't that too long ago, and things really haven't changed much. I RTFA, but I doubt if things would be really that different. More mods for 2005-2006 releases, more sequels. The source-code for Quake IV would have been released. And ground-breaking title or two will have come out. I do hope Starcraft II comes out though.

And by 2010, Duke Nukem forever will be coming out of Alpha.
Re:Huh? by StocDred · 2006-01-12 16:01 · Score: 1

It's supposed to be, yes.
Close but no cigar... by voxel · 2006-01-12 16:07 · Score: 1

The only thing you got WAY wrong is Duke Nukem Forever won't be comming out of Alpha, it will of just announced another 3D engine switch and that they are starting over again.

WTF Do you think it's called Duke Nukem FOREVER?

--
Modesty is one of life's greatest attributes
Mario MMORPG? by Megane · 2006-01-12 16:28 · Score: 2, Funny

But still no sign of a Zelda MMORPG anywhere.
And how about "Grand Theft Auto: Mullah City", where you get to jack a Humvee?

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I don't care what anyone else thinks. by justchris · 2006-01-12 16:38 · Score: 3, Insightful

The phrase 'Star Wars: Adhesive Death Star' sent me into fits of laughter.

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just some guy
1. Re:I don't care what anyone else thinks. by Kazzahdrane · 2006-01-12 19:53 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  Indeed, it seems some people here have forgotten how to laugh. I thought the article was very amusing and the line you mentioned was the one that made me actually laugh out loud :)
2. Re:I don't care what anyone else thinks. by sethstorm · 2006-01-12 20:45 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  "That's not a planet, it's a Katamari!"
  
  --
  Twitter supports and protects racists - by smearing their critics with the "Hate Speech" label.
I demand a photoshop contest by Anonymous Coward · 2006-01-12 20:23 · Score: 1, Funny

This article is begging for pictures.
Let me predict the future by Toxicgonzo · 2006-01-12 20:40 · Score: 3, Insightful

In 2010, the top ten games of the year will be:

10. Madden 2010
9. Super Mario 512
8. Kingdom Hearts V
7. Resident Evil 7
6. Quake 6
5. Halo 5
4. Unreal 2010
3. Metal Gear Solid 6
2. Final Fantasy XIII
1. Half-life 3

^50 bucks says at least one of those will be on the top ten list
1. Re:Let me predict the future by jurgenaut · 2006-01-12 22:30 · Score: 1
  
  What, no Duke Nukem Forever on that list?
2. Re:Let me predict the future by maddskillz · 2006-01-13 00:33 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  It has been pushed back to 2013
3. Re:Let me predict the future by teratogenicbenzene · 2006-01-13 05:36 · Score: 1
  
  ...and a glowing report on the progress of Duke Nukem Forever.
  
  --
  The Secret of Life: Proteins fold up and bind things.
I'm getting the 3rd Gen XBox! by Durrill · 2006-01-13 02:44 · Score: 1

I'm sure the XBox 720 will be aiming for a launch by then. If I am to guarantee to get myself one for the actual launch day, I'll need to make my pre order now. Come to think of it, i'm gonna get a preorder on my way home tonight!

--
If i wanted to hear bullshit, i'd go to church.
1. Re:I'm getting the 3rd Gen XBox! by TibbonZero · 2006-01-13 03:09 · Score: 1
  
  Has anyone realized how poor the naming of the Xbox 360 is?
  
  Making a turn of n(360) where n is an integer will take you nowhere. Kinda like a they Chevy Nova.
  
  And true to the name, the games aren't even one step better than the prior system, and the better graphic'd games on the previous generation systems (Shadows of the Collusus) look almost exactly the same. In fact, I bet if the PS2 has better specs, with the same coding they could have just 'turned up the settings' on Shadows of the Collusus and it would have looked better than most Xbox 360 games.
  
  --
  Tibbon
  tibbon.com
It's really too bad.... by Madpony · 2006-01-13 02:58 · Score: 1

...that article wasn't even funny.
Re:MMORPG Regulations Defined. by Bagels · 2006-01-13 03:02 · Score: 1

So... institutionalized racism, basically?

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--- Bwah?
Play length by mahdi13 · 2006-01-13 04:04 · Score: 1

They forgot to mention that the average first person shooter will take 3 hours to complete and will require about 1TB of hard drive space to install

But it will look fantastic!

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"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson
Re:MMORPG Regulations Defined. by sethstorm · 2006-01-13 07:57 · Score: 1

Play Lineage II for a while, and see how the bots operate - it's not the easy path to do, but since they code their own utilities to read the field, establish ways of avoiding bans, and possibly have contracted territories, it's not an easy decision to make. They even have their own servers officially for their country, and it is more likely to be kicked off theirs than to have the US servers ban them - and even the non-botting populations take advantage knowing that the only time they really enforce their rules is if you're costing them (or the farmers) money in some large amount.

Search for "everred lineage" or "Farm The Farmers Day" to get an idea why one would have to deal with farmers this harshly.

Institutionalized racism would only drive the farmers to countries that would be more US friendly, which would only make the problem worse - this would even apply if you were to launch a copy of a botting program in the States, as even US'ians bot and farm.

--
Twitter supports and protects racists - by smearing their critics with the "Hate Speech" label.