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Giant Octopus Attacks Sub
Apostata writes "As reported by the CBC, 'Salmon researchers working on the Brooks Peninsula [British Columbia] were shocked last November when an octopus attacked their expensive and sensitive equipment.' Apparently it was caught on video, but no word on when/where it will be available. Apparently this is the first documented attack." Obviously the start of something bigger.
Wasnt this an episode of Sealab 2021?
---- "Logoff! That cookie shit makes me nervous!" - A. Soprano
I for one welcome our giant submarine attacking overlords!
"I'm going to f***ing bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to f***ing kill Google"
Obviously the start of something bigger.
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria.
It was just looking for seamen to swallow.
... and then they built the supercollider.
I LIVE on Vancouver Island, and Slashdot knew about something of this scale before me? MAN do I need to get out more.
It's never just a game when you're winning. - George Carlin
This thing is going to be huge in Japan.
When I hear "Giant Octopus Attacks Sub" for some reason I imagine something a lot larger than 80lbs. Then I read the story and find out it's not really a GIANT Octopus, and he wasn't attacking a 688 Attack Sub.
So it's not all it's cracked up to be. Huh. Why do I feel like I've done this before?
"I go full reverse and blast him with all these seabed particles," said Wood, describing the attack shown in the video. "Finally, he lets go and disappears off into the gloom.
"It was desperation. It's a $200,000 machine, and it's not insured," said Wood, who runs SubOceanic Sciences Canada in Duncan, B.C.
Even when you get your sub insured they neglect to mention you have to pay extra for underinsured gaint squid and octopus coverage.
an octopus attacked their expensive and sensitive equipment
Ouch, that sounds painful. Anybody ever had an octopus stuck to their sensitive equipment?
I, for one, welcome our new Cthulhunoid Overlords.
"Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my Presidency. I'm fucked."; ~ Donald J. Trump
Nice to see the Subway is now sending images of Jared and those mouth watering tasty subs into the deep blue. They now have one new customer. Hopefully the video will answer if our eight legged, ink blotting friend likes mayo or mustard, and whole wheat or plain.
BSG commerical over---back to eating my sub....
"Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a fat white guy who is threatened by change."
Oh, you too will be devoured, sycophant.
Get thee glass eyes, and, like a scurvy politician, seem to see things thou dost not.--King Lear
If I found a Sub way under the ocean I'd try to get something to eat, too...
This attack was terrible and completely unprovoked, I think we need to strike back at the octopuses with full force to show that we can't be pushed around! This giant octopus attacked a sub, so I say we build a giant sub to attack an octopus!!
Those Octopussies won't know what hit 'em!!
From here on out, all subs will be equipped with miniature Kirk Douglas's armed with spears to fend off these ferocious attacks!
Apparently the best defense against a giant octopus is to use a large aerosol can of pixilation.
The surprise isn't how often we make bad choices; the surprise is how seldom they defeat us.
Are you sure his last name wasn't Nemo?
Laissez lire, et laissez danser; ces deux amusements ne feront jamais de mal au monde. - Voltaire
that the flying spaghetti monster could swim. Apparently his noodly appendage doesn't like we filth his sea's with sub's.
Custom electronics and digital signage for your business: www.evcircuits.com
Frankly, I'm surprised it's taken this long. In the last year we've seen the discovery of a super giant squid, the first videos of a giant squid in the wild, and now this!
Look.
Do you know how fucking big a sperm whale is? It's huge. HUGE. And giant squid eat them. Listen to your heart - no matter what the scientists tell you, 4th grade ecology has convinced us all that whales are intelligent loving animals. Did you see Star Trek 4. They're the freakin' saviours of humanity man.
And giant squid eat them
Eat them
Not beacause it's easy. Oh no, not because a sperm whale is an easy catch. Big, remember? No. It's because squid are evil incarnate
Do you know how long they've been down there? No one does. But my guess is the squid and it's precurser have been down there in the depths for a lot longer than man has been knucklewalking. That's old. And you know they think down there. Brood down there. Their tentacles floating like the limbs of children relaxing in the water, they brood and wonder how to conquer us from below.
Things that think and brood also dream. And things that dream begin to worship the stuff of dreams. Out of man's insecurity we have sublimated a great father figure into the sky, according to Freud. What about the tentacled things in the watery darkness, whose females are larger than their males?
I'll tell you what they worship
A great multilimbed mother of the dark watery brood. Deep down in the very molten cracks of the earth filling the sea with inky blackness. THAT's what they worship. We killed men in the crusades. Men who looked the same as other men. What will the dark octupi and squid do to US who are mere flabby bloodsacks to rip apart and drink out fluids with their beaky maws? What in the name of their Dark Mother goddess will they do to us when they rise into our airy realm?
Think about it dudes
Us computer geeks are basically fucked
" revved the ROV's thrusters in reverse in an attempt to blast seabed particles at the creature."
Sounds like a well thought out revisionist history of "HOLY SHIT REVERSE MAN REVERSE!!!eleven!"
To me at least after viewing the video, he did what anyone would in a FPS. Run backward dropping 'nades to escape short range melee weapons in the hopes that his ass would survive long enough to get a new strategy. Good thing they had a rocky seabed or we would've seen the death of an ROV.
Too bad they didn't build this thing with a strafe-jump and gibber, he could've misdirected then lead the octopus into a lunge in which he pushed the gibber against its head by using it's off-balance timing and commitment to the lunge.
New headline: ROV driven by newb almost gets pwned by octopus.
"It may have been curious, looking for a meal or a girlfriend..."
"Certainly male", lives underground in parent's basement or underwater in mud, prefers screwing with expensive gadgets instead of real girls, scares off people when seen in public, and sooner or later ends up working at MacDonalds or seefood business... Clearly just one of our marine slashdotters. Perhaps this means we can soon enjoy articles about hacking submarines to run linux?
But remember shall you:
"Such large, powerful animals deserve respect, Cosgrove said."
Off defending something cuter.
This is what happens when you let the terrorists take courses in Marine Biology!
I, for one, welcome our new Cthulhunoid Overlords.
I, for one, will overthrow any leader I cannot spell.
Table-ized A.I.
"The world was not created for man by God, oh no!
For some years, some biologists have argued that there was a 7th day of creation, during which God thought about his prototypes and finally made the crowning glory of his creation here on Earth: the giant squid.
The basic problem with the idea that we humans are the peak of his creation was pointed out by none other than Charles Darwin. The problem is explaining the evolution of the vertebrate eye. He gave this as a very serious problem, because this organ doesn't fossilize at all, and it is difficult to explain how all the intermediate forms could have been sufficiently functional for Natural Selection to have selected them.
In recent years, Creationists have vociferously challenged the entire evolutionary paradigm, and some biologists have given serious thought to their criticisms, as well as Darwin's issue of the eye. Some have suggested the thought experiment: Suppose that the Creationists are right, and the world was built by some sort of Cosmic Engineer (which we may call "God" for short). What can we learn by studying the artefacts of the creation process?
One thing that we learn when we study the vertebrate eye is that it has a rather strange structure. The blood vessels and the nerves pass through the surface in a bundle (the "blind spot"), and spread out on the inside of the retina. This is a very bizarre way to lay out the "wiring". Why would any sensible engineer do it this way, rather than the much more sensible way of running the wiring along the back surface?
We might hypothesize that there is some obscure benefit to doing it this way, and we just aren't clever enough to figure it out. But this is shot down by a simple fact. The "camera" type of eye seems to have evolved (or been created, if you prefer) more than once. The cephalopods (a family of animals that include octopi, squid, and nautilus) have eyes that are superficially similar, but on close examination, we find that all the details are different. In particular, they have the "wiring" on the back of the retina, as you'd expect.
So, if there is a Creator, He seems to have done the job twice, once poorly (with vertebrates), and once well (with the cephalopods). This is very suspicious. It is especially suspicious when you consider that, while we humans claim that the planet was built for us, it is roughly 3/4 salt water. If you measure the areas that we humans actually inhabit in any significant numbers, we are talking about maybe 5% of the globe, whereas the giant squid is at the top of the food chain over roughly 70%. When you consider the actual volume of the inhabited space, the giant squid has a home range many thousands of times greater than ours.
So the evidence appears to be that humans were one of the experiments, good enough to let live but not good enough to be given a large range (or to rework things like the eyes so that they worked better).
If this isn't convincing enough, consider also that humans have quite a good record of wiping out all the large predators, on both land and at sea. We have devastated the cetacea and are busy wiping out the large sharks, tunas, and other major marine predators. There is one exception: Humans show little interest in interacting with the giant squid. Sure, we catch the little ones and eat them, but as for the biggest species, we almost totally ignore it, although it is a major predator in all the oceans. And if you are like most humans, you are probably thinking that this is silly. Who cares about a bunch of big squid?
This is very, very suspicious. We have a glaring blind spot here. Most large predators drive us crazy. We are terrified of wolves, bears, and sharks. Although very few humans have ever been injured b
Dear god, I love Slashdot, where the parent earned an "Insightful" mod. :D
..It's been working for Sony Playstation for years; with both PSX and PS2 using their crappy idea of graphics, thereby cooking up the ol' pixelfest for those that not know better..
Ah. Thats's why you americans vote like this... ;P
"Bush" is obviously simpler to spell than "Kerrey".
Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity.
Interesting point and all, but seriously dude... that is quite some hypothetical.
OCTOPUS: GurgleRarrr! *attacks*
ME: *oof* Ex-CUSE me, but I SPECIFICALLY requested the shark.
OCTOPUS: *slinks away, professionally embarrassed*
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"...when an octopus attacked their ... sensitive equipment..."
...and remember:
was there video?
Don't tease the octopus, kids!
If you can read this, I forgot to post anonymously.