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Apple Sued Over Potential Hearing Loss
freaktheclown writes "A man is suing Apple, claiming that the iPod can cause hearing loss for those who use it." From the article: "The iPod players are 'inherently defective in design and are not sufficiently adorned with adequate warnings regarding the likelihood of hearing loss,' according to the complaint, filed Tuesday in U.S. District Court in San Jose, Calif., on behalf of John Kiel Patterson of Louisiana. The suit, which Patterson wants certified as a class-action, seeks compensation for unspecified damages and upgrades that will make iPods safer."
Warning: Nail Clippers will cut nails.
He's infringing my patent: US PAT 99846321-666 "A method for obtaining stupidly large amounts of financial compensation from commercial organisations by suing them because they failed to point out (rightly or otherwise) something mind-numbingly obvious about a potential (real or otherwise) hazard related to the use of their product/s that anyone with a small degree of common sense would be competent to identify for themselves and thus take appropriate action."
AT&ROFLMAO
And I'm suing slashdot for the mental anguish caused by a certain goatse picture.
Professor Karmadillo Songs of Science
... they want their lawsuit back.
Wasn't the same thing done over the Sony Walkman?
...Rob
The American Dream isn't an SUV and a house in the suburbs; it's Don't Tread On Me.
Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
Yeah but, you are in USA, where, you know, people is stupid..
I got a great example with product warnings (agree, some are from Tesco, a UK company) but lot of them are from USA companies.
I love these:
Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
Disposable razor:
Do not use this product during an earthquake.
Hand-held Massaging Device
Do not use while sleeping or unconscious. [O MY F GOD]
Microwave Oven:
Do not use for drying pets.
Anyway, better take a look at them, really funny... but makes you think... in a country where anyone can sue anybody for anything... what can you expect.
Ubuntu is an African word meaning 'I can't configure Debian'
Apple has countersued John Kiel Patterson's finger for moving the iPod's volume beyond the 93db range, which has possibly caused damage to his hearing.
His finger will be required to testify in court that it indeed did raise the volume beyond acceptable levels, his ears were also subpoenaed in to testify about their injuries.
Noone is sure about Patterson's brain, it has gone missing and possibly is living out of the country.
He who knows best knows how little he knows. - Thomas Jefferson
"The iPod players are 'inherently defective in design and are not sufficiently adorned with adequate warnings regarding the likelihood of hearing loss..."
So basically, he's telling us that if there was a big sticker pasted on the side that said "Hey, Asshat, don't turn it up too loud, you will lose your hearing!" that everything would have been OK, and he would not have sued?
*sigh*
What an asshat.
Na, you'll make more money when you sue for mental anguish over shrinkage...
"There's no warning on the cold water saying it'll shrink! I yelled "Oh my god! Its shrinking, its going away!" My girlfriend ran in because of the screaming and just laughed at me. I thought my sex life was over. Judge, she calls me Turtle now. I can't go out to any clubs anymore.
If some idiot can sue and win over tripping over a crack on your property, yea, I could see you winning the above.
The Clue Club has been recalled because of the danger of splinters. If you have received injury due to splinters in the act of wielding the clue club, you might qualify to be part of the class action suit. Operators are standing by.
It's not offtopic, dumbass. It's orthogonal.