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Scientists Expand Knowledge of Dark Matter

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the lighter-shade-of-grey dept.

nife00 writes "BBC News is reporting that British scientists at Cambridge have expanded the current understanding of the mysterious particles known as dark matter." According to the article: "[The Cambridge Team] has at last been able to place limits on how it is packed in space and measure its "temperature". "It's the first clue of what this stuff might be," said Professor Gerry Gilmore. "For the first time ever, we're actually dealing with its physics," he told the BBC News website."

19 of 211 comments (clear)

  1. How appropriate... by Jugalator · · Score: 5, Funny
    I just got this when first clicking on this article...

    Nothing for you to see here. Please move along.

    :-p

    --
    Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
  2. Re:Uncertainty by drgonzo59 · · Score: 4, Funny

    They did, but it is very dark and hard to see.

  3. The Ministry of Silly Walks by malia8888 · · Score: 5, Funny
    Using the biggest telescopes in the world, including the Very Large Telescope facility in Chile, the group has made detailed 3D maps of the galaxies, using the movement of their stars to "trace" the impression of the dark matter among them and weigh it very precisely.

    Doesn't the name "Very Large Telescope facility" sound like it is out of a Monty Python sketch, sort of like the "Ministry of Silly Walks"?

    Further, I am struck with the thought that dark matter is "Silly Putty" which has gone off a bit.

    --
    Harpo Tunnel Syndrome--my wrist feels funny.
    1. Re:The Ministry of Silly Walks by (negative+video) · · Score: 5, Funny

      I'm personally more amused by the proposed OWL telescope, which stands for OverWhelmingly Large. It's makes you wonder what they will call the next one after that. The So Enormously Large that Gosh We're All Really Impressed Telescope?

    2. Re:The Ministry of Silly Walks by fruey · · Score: 5, Funny

      "The So Enormously Large that Gosh We're All Really Impressed Telescope" sounds like it just might be accepted, were it not for the fact that the acronym SELGWARIT is a little difficult to remember, and lacks punch or reference to an animal with good eyesight (or a large animal, perhaps).

      You could however, with minor adjustments, get it sounding just nice with a good acronym to boot, viz : ELEPHANT Enormously Large Exceedingly imPressive Huge Array mind-Numbing Telescope".

      --
      Conversion Rate Optimisation French / English consultant
    3. Re:The Ministry of Silly Walks by maxwell+demon · · Score: 2, Funny

      That's nothing against T.REX, the Telescope of Really EXtreme size!

      --
      The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
  4. Ssshhhh... by Donut2099 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "For the first time ever, we're actually dealing with its physics,"

    Thats because we've secretly replaced the regular dark matter with Folger's Crystals!

  5. You mean now it's real? by Zadaz · · Score: 2, Funny

    I thought measuring the temperature of dark matter was like measuring the distance to the celestial sphere.

    Or for more of a /. reference, like measuring the quantity in the bit bucket.

  6. Re:Uncertainty by LiquidCoooled · · Score: 2, Funny

    Holly: Well, the thing about a black hole - it's main distinguishing feature - is it's black. And the thing about space, your basic space colour is black. So how are you supposed to see them?

    --
    liqbase :: faster than paper
  7. Re:Dark Matter Blows by meringuoid · · Score: 4, Funny
    Dark Matter should hook up with the cosmological constant, they'd make the perfect couple.

    Already done; look up 'dark energy'. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've left my dinner in the oven and I think it's burning; I smell phlogiston. Damn, with such delays I'll never get this new suit ready for the Emperor in time...

    --
    Real Daleks don't climb stairs - they level the building.
  8. Obligatory by SeaFox · · Score: 4, Funny

    So I guess you could say they're shedding some light on dark matter?

  9. Dark Matter by ben_1432 · · Score: 2, Funny

    What's so hard to understand about it? It's the heaviest, densest matter available and it powers spaceships duh. Oh yeah, and Nibbler craps it.

  10. "Scientists Expand Knowledge of Dark Matter" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    ... they're making dark matter smarter?

  11. AHAH... I got it!! by DaedalusHKX · · Score: 3, Funny

    Dark Matter == God.

    Yep... dark matter and he who cannot be seen are one and the same... see?

    Now, onward to forming a new religion.

    Dark Matterism.

    I wonder what country we'll butcher to spread THAT religion??

    Anyone??

    ~D

    --
    " What luck for rulers that men do not think" - Adolf Hitler
    1. Re:AHAH... I got it!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Is that what keeps the Flying Spaghetti Monster from turning into sauce?

  12. In other news... by jettoki · · Score: 5, Funny

    British scientists at Cambridge have also placed limitations on the possible properties of the luminiferous aether. "We're pretty sure it's not yellow," says one researcher, "and we've also ruled out blue and pink. It's nice to know that we'll soon have figured out both this dark matter stuff and the luminiferous aether. Then we can start puzzling out those epicycles again."

    1. Re:In other news... by maxwell+demon · · Score: 2, Funny

      Of course, dark matter and luminiferous aether are one and the same. Isn't that obvious? This explains immediatly why we cannot see it: It's not something in the way of light, but it's the medium of light itself!
      BTW, the dark energy is also solved. It's phlogiston. You know, phlogiston has negative weight, therefore it causes anti-gravitiaion. This neatly explains why dark energy causes acceleration of the universe expansion.
      The epicycle problem isn't yet completely solved, but it's likely that the enormous heat of the dark matter comes from the friction of the planetary machinery.

      --
      The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
  13. Re:Just another point of view by killjoe · · Score: 2, Funny

    It is said that on his deathbed Neils Bohr said "when I die, I am going ask god about relativity and turbulence. I think he can tell me something about relativity".

    --
    evil is as evil does
  14. Re:Just another point of view by CaptainFork · · Score: 0, Funny
    People who know more than we at Slashdot do have pointed out what they consider fatal flaws.

    But you won't be able to read their comments here because they have karma="Terrible" and get censored.