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Stealth Sharks to Patrol the High Seas

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the friggin-laser-beams-not-included dept.

dylanduck writes ""Imagine getting inside the mind of a shark: swimming silently through the ocean, sensing faint electrical fields, homing in on the trace of a scent." That's what the Pentagon wants to do, says New Scientist. By remotely guiding the sharks' movements using a newly designed neural implant, the military hope to transform the animals into stealth spies."

9 of 331 comments (clear)

  1. Lasers... by thesnarky1 · · Score: 4, Funny

    All the sharks need now is lasers, and we'll be all set!

    --
    Want to find other gamers to play board and role playing game
    1. Re:Lasers... by pvt_medic · · Score: 3, Funny

      eh, you might have better luck with ill tempered mutant sea-bass

      --
      30% Troll, 50% Underrated, 10% Interesting
      Score:5, Troll
    2. Re:Lasers... by elrous0 · · Score: 2, Funny

      I actually built a laser to carve my name in giant letters on the moon once. Didn't work out, though. All I got was the "C" and part of the "H" before I was foiled. -Chairface

      --
      SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
  2. Re:Tax Dollars by killjoe · · Score: 2, Funny

    Well god did give dominion over all animals to men. We can do whatever we want to them. We own them. God says so.

    --
    evil is as evil does
  3. As bizarre as it sounds ... by njchick · · Score: 2, Funny

    my gut feeling is telling me that Pentagon is more likely to succeed at making zombie sharks than NASA at launching three more shuttles this year.

  4. Candygram... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Enemy of US: Who is it?

    Stealth Shark: Flowers.

    Enemy of US: Flowers? From whom?

    Stealth Shark: Plumber.

    Enemy of US: I don't need a plumber. You're that stealth shark, aren't you?

    Stealth Shark: Candygram.

    Enemy of US: Candygram, my foot! Get out of here before I call the proper authorities. You're the stealth shark, and you know it.

    Stealth Shark: I'm only a dolphin.

    Enemy of US: A dolphin? Well.. okay.. AHHHH AHHHH AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

  5. Re:Give me a break!!! by Hektor_Troy · · Score: 2, Funny

    Preach it brother, preach it. But it's not just animals.

    You know - I used to eat fruits, vegetables and the likes. Then one day I saw how people treat these living things. Cutting into them with knives, killing their offspring right next to them, eating their offspring before the plants themselves have even let go of them. Some would even abuse them sexually, I kid you not.

    So now I'm on day 17 of my refusal to not only eat anything from an animal, but also anything from a plant. So far it's going okay. I've lost a lot of weight, but that's obviously because of all the excess calories I got from eating animals and plants. Kinda feeling tired most of the time too, but I think that's becuse the animals and plants I ate made my body addicted to something. I just have to be strong and let it pass. Cold turkey! (No offence to the bird, of course)

    --
    We do not live in the 21st century. We live in the 20 second century.
  6. Re:How 'bout an off button? by BecomingLumberg · · Score: 2, Funny
    I don't think any amount of programming can turn off the 'chompy' part of the shark. Much like Pac-Man, you can steer him around, but you can't keep him from eating everything in his path.

    I wonder if the new hacker rage will to be to boost a shark. That would make for some interesting vacations...

    --
    If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be.-TJ
  7. Re:This is what I want as an american. by hutchike · · Score: 2, Funny

    Imagine there's no heaven,
    It's easy if you try,
    No hell below us,
    Above us only sky,
    Imagine all the people
    living for today...

    Imagine there's no countries,
    It isn't hard to do,
    Nothing to kill or die for,
    No religion too,
    Imagine all the people
    living life in peace...

    Imagine no possesions,
    I wonder if you can,
    No need for greed or hunger,
    A brotherhood of man,
    Imagine all the people
    Sharing all the world...

    You may say I'm a dreamer,
    but I'm not the only one,
    I hope some day you'll join us,
    And the world will live as one.

    --
    Zen tips: Pay attention. Don't take it personally. Believe nothing.