Rockstar's Family-Friendly Shocker

kleptonin writes "IGN is running an article about a new game being developed by Rockstar San Diego. Unlike their previous releases, the game will feature no guns, no violence, and no swearing. The game, Rockstar Games Presents Table Tennis, will be exclusive to the Xbox 360, and will cost $39.99." Chris Morris, over at the CNN Game Over column, has some commentary on Grand Theft Ping Pong.

Comments

hmm....

[smaerd]

....the game will feature no guns, no violence, and no swearing...
...So it's NUDY tennis! Those crazy Rockstar developers!
It's defnately Love-Love, in my book.

__
Bow chicka wow wow.

Re:hmm....

[oahazmatt]

...So it's NUDY tennis!

Only after you apply the patch.

Re:hmm....

[Pharmboy]

So it's NUDY tennis!

As soon as I saw that, I was thinking Leisure Suit Larry Table Tennis. Still no guns, violence or swearing, just jiggly girls playing table tennis. As you get better and move up the ranks, you get to play against girls that are dressed even skimpier. Of course, it would have side games and adventures, too, but the main goal is to make it to "The World's Table Tennis Championship" where everyone plays nude.

I am serious about this. Look at how many LSL games have already sold for PC.

overkill?

[Anonymous Coward]

Three processors, monster graphics chip, millions in research and development...

For 3D pong?

Brilliant

[Golias]

At last! All the fun, drama, and thrills of table tennis without having to go outside to your local ping-pong court. For the first time ever, you can play it from the comfort of your family rec room!!!

Hey, wait...

Re:Image Enhancement

[Rude Turnip]

Apparently no one here is aware of the sex, drugs and violence that underlies the international ping pong circuit. Anyone who buys this as a "family friendly" game will be in for a *BIG* surprise.

An oxymoron if I ever heard one.

[pjp6259]

I'm sorry, but "Family Friendly" and "Shocker" just do not belong in the same sentence together.

It's not as wholesome as it sounds.

[Thrakkerzog]

You don't want to know where the female players keep their ping pong balls. Or how they serve, for that matter.

wow, that's wholesome

[hamburger lady]

what's the secret patch gonna be called, Hot Cocoa?

Re:wow, that's wholesome

[TubeSteak]

More like "Lukewarm Tea"

Unless they have a Jiggle slider.

Like that one PS2 fighting game.

Mmmmm... boobies. Mod up boobies.

hidden goodies

[gEvil (beta)]

Can't wait to see what sort of hidden games and goodies they stick in there... : p

No, but

[thepotoo]

But they haven't done all that great, either.
I mean, you can run into the middle of the road stark naked and scream "GRAND THEFT AUTO!" at the top of your lungs and people will just look at you and say, "It's another one of those video game freaks".

Try the same thing but scream "NINTENDOGS!" and people will call the cops.

Try it sometime, you'll see what I mean.

Re:No, but

[KDR_11k]

I thought you were supposed to scream "MORTAL KOMBAT!"?

Re:No, but

[soft_guy]

I just tried and I got arrested both times. Thanks, thepotoo... for NOTHING!

Futurama

[Scrooge919]

Reminds me of the Futurama episode where they're in an arcade and one person is playing Skee-Ball, beside them is someone playing Virtual Skee-Ball, and beside them is someone sitting down playing Virtual Virtual Skee-Ball...

That said, I think the potential for internet beer pong could make this worthwhile... :)

Re:Image Enhancement

[PFI_Optix]

I'm just waiting for the first mod that gives us hot paddle-on-paddle action.

Re:Image Enhancement

[Golias]

hot paddle-on-paddle action.

If you are just hitting the paddles against each other, you are doing it wrong, and your partner is simply too nice to tell you so.

So awesome

[Mr_Blank]

The interview was less than inspired.
    The answers were PR fluff and tired.

    http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/01/20

Re:Xbox 360 exclusive?

[smbarbour]

My speculative guess envisions this conversation:

Microsoft: We would like you to make a XBox360-exclusive title.
Rockstar: No problem! (Evil grin)

And the next day..

[Ancient_Hacker]

"The game, Rockstar Games Presents Table Tennis, will be exclusive to the Xbox 360, and will cost $39.99."

.... And within a week will be the featured item in the Wal-Mart $1 game bin

You're Missing the Game Story

[canfirman]

You've forgotten the back-story and the movie clips in the middle:

So one day, you (as the hero) are walking through the 'hood, waving to the hos, and looking for your next fix. Suddenly, a van screaches up beside you and a couple of bad-asses jump out and start dissing you. It's time to defend your terretory from these a-holes! You challenge them to meet on your turf, and they agree to ... Gangsta Ping Pong!

Don't forget the "hot coffee" mod for when you win the tournament...

(Yeah, I know...it's lame...)

THe real reason for the 360.

[MrShaggy]

release, is that the 360 is te most expensive machine that will go PING

Hot Coffee anyone?

[Dream1979]

Please tell me there is a hot coffee mod for this game. I refuse to believe R* has gone soft on us. All the resourses to make this glorified Pong could have been put into finishing their Bully game. Honestly, what would you rather do play ping pong, or beat the crap out of classmates for no reason? I'll be taking peoples lunch money... I can play with balls any time I want.

Dude, did you hear what Winona Ryder's doing?

[dstewart]

Wow. War. Y'know? Wow. Okay! And now for your enjoyment, here's my famous ping-pong ball trick!

Re:An interesting Idea

[bigman2003]

When I heard about this, I thought, "Wow, THIS sounds like an awesome game."

Really- I'm damn excited about this.

I *loved* Top Spin on the Xbox. Tennis makes a pretty decent video game. But Ping Pong is FAST. It's like tennis, but with much quicker response times.

And the fact that Rockstar is making the game, tells me that it should have *some* decent level of quality.

Yes, I was excited when I heard about it. And I'm even happier now, knowing that there is a real street date already identified.

Re:Mario Kart is nonviolent? who knew?

[clamum]

You're comparing Mario Kart and Quake? Well they're both video games, I'll give you that.

Re:An interesting Idea

[uncoveror]

It seems family friendly until you use the mod code to unlock the part with king kong playing ping pong with his ding dong.